Before You Go
Luz wakes up, staring at the glowing moon and star pattern above her bed. She looks over at the clock and realizes it's midnight. She knows she's not going to get any sleep tonight with the endless thoughts racing through her mind and overwhelming anxiety she can't seem to shake. So she gets out of bed and walks into the kitchen, opening her laptop.
The blue light from her laptop illuminates the dark room. Luz thinks about recording a video diary, but can't bring herself to. So she just stares at her computer in silence. Her mind's racing to do something, but she can't think clearly.
Suddenly, lightning strikes outside the window followed by a loud crack of thunder. Luz feels a chill run down her spine and stands up immediately.
Startled yet intrigued, Luz walks up to the window and looks out at the pouring rain. It reminds her of Eda and King, of everything she lost back in the demon realm.
Luz puts her hand on the window, watching as the rain falls fast and furious. Lightning flashing on and off while the thunder follows suit with its loud crashing. An endless storm of chaos that she wants to join.
Luz closes her laptop and heads to the front door, not bothering to get a jacket or shoes, she goes outside in her pajamas. Not thinking, just needing to feel something again.
Luz steps outside, feeling the pouring rain pound against her skin, leaving her soaked and freezing. She puts her hands out, shivering and welcoming the ice cold water with a sad smile.
Then Luz puts her arms down and stares out into the darkness, letting the rain fall. She zones out, no longer scared because she's finally feeling something again. She's cold and her body's starting to feel numb, but she feels alive. It's the escape she needs, even if it hurts.
Tears fall down Luz's face as she starts crying, a burst of intense emotions she wasn't expecting but is unable to control. She falls to her knees and stares up at the sky.
"How can I get back? Please, I need to go back. I need to get everyone home. Please…" Luz said.
Back in Luz's room, Amity wakes up. She looks over at Luz's bed and is shocked to see she isn't there, so she gets up and searches for Luz.
Ever since they came to the human realm, Luz has been acting distant and cold and Amity's been worried about her. She's tried to be supportive and let Luz know she's here for her, but she keeps pushing her away. It's like she's a whole different person and that scares her.
In her search, Amity notices Luz's laptop sitting open on the kitchen table. She looks at it and sees a document open with only a few words present, I give up.
Amity closes the laptop, tears falling as she looks out the window. She can barely see anything through the darkness and rain. As much as it terrifies her, she has this terrifying instinct that's where Luz went.
Suddenly, lightning strikes again, illuminating the dark room. For a split second, Amity can see Luz sitting out in the cold rain storm alone. She gasps and starts running towards the door in a panic, not bothering to get a jacket or shoes.
Once Amity's outside, she runs through the rain and to Luz. She hugs her tight in her arms, hoping she's okay and knowing she needs comfort now more than ever. Then she sits down next to her.
Luz turns to look at Amity, exhausted and crying yet still trying to keep a slight smile when she sees her.
Amity's heart breaks. She can see it in Luz's eyes, a deep sadness has overtaken her and it's all becoming too much. There's parts of her already gone she knows she won't be able to revive, but that doesn't mean she's going to give up.
Amity looks into Luz's eyes with a calm yet sympathetic expression.
"Luz, we need to go inside. You'll feel better once we get out of this storm." Amity said.
Luz looks away from Amity and back out at the sky, watching as the lightning continues to strike and needing to feel the painful icy comfort of the pouring rain.
"I can't." Luz replied.
Amity stands up and helps Luz stand up too. She tries to get her to come inside, but Luz continues staring up at the dark night sky.
"Luz, please…We need to get out of this storm." Amity said.
Luz looks at Amity with her tired eyes and tears streaming down her face. She starts to feel the effects of the bone chilling storm making her sick. She's exhausted, but she can't help but feel she deserves this.
"I'm sorry, but I can't. You go back inside. I'll be okay. I just need to be alone for a while." Luz replied.
Amity just stands there, feeling defeated and hurt. Still, she stands her ground.
"I'm not giving up on you. I saw what you wrote, that you want to give up. Well, I'm not going to let you do that. So stay out here as long as you want, but I'm not going anywhere." Amity said.
The last thing Luz wants is for Amity to stay out here in the storm with her, she doesn't deserve that. But before they go inside, she wants to do one last thing.
"Okay. I understand." Luz replied.
Luz reaches out her hand.
"May I have this dance?" Luz asked.
Amity nods, tearful but relieved to see Luz's personality shine through a bit.
"Of course. But then we need to go inside." Amity replied.
Luz nods and Amity takes her hand. They start dancing in the rain together. It's cold and dark, but there's something bittersweet about this moment.
Luz and Amity stop dancing and look at each other longingly.
Luz still looks sad, so Amity draws a circle and creates a light glyph.
Luz watches it float up into the dark rainy sky, drawn to the little symbol of hope, just until it finally fades away into the darkness.
"It's with the stars now. It must be so peaceful up there." Luz said.
Amity can't help but wonder what Luz means by that cryptic wording. Such a melancholy statement coming from her usually optimistic girlfriend. She's changed.
Luz looks at Amity and sees her hurt smile, trying to be strong while knowing her girlfriend is lost.
Luz knows this. She just can't find the strength to fight for herself, but she's not going to let Amity suffer because of her. So she takes Amity's hand and starts walking back to the house with her.
Once inside, Amity runs to grab some blankets while Luz stands there with a distant stare. Looking outside and wishing she could go back out into the cold darkness, needing the escape.
Before Luz can run, Amity comes back with some blankets. They walk into the kitchen together and sit at the table in silence, Luz still staring out the window at the rain.
Amity waits patiently, hoping Luz will finally open up about what's going on. Then she speaks up, trying to rationalize her impulsive decision.
"I'm sorry. I know that was reckless, but I just love the rain. I wanted to feel something and it helped, being out there in the storm. It's hard to explain, but I felt a sense of comfort in the cold storm. I felt alive again." Luz said.
Hearing this, Amity feels incredibly sad for Luz. She knows she's suffering and wants to help, so she listens and tries to sympathize while being firm.
"I understand. Sometimes life and emotions can get messy, but being self destructive isn't the way. It might feel good in the moment, but all you're doing is hurting yourself in the long run. Trust me, it's not worth it." Amity replied.
Luz looks at Amity, trying to respond but she just doesn't have the energy in her. So she looks back out the window, staring out at the rain in silence again.
Seeing the tired look in Luz's eyes, Amity decides they should get some rest.
"Why don't we go get some sleep. We can talk more in the morning." Amity said.
Luz nods. Then they walk back upstairs to Luz's room and lie in their own beds.
Before they fall asleep, Amity reaches out one last time.
"Are you going to be okay?" Amity asked.
Luz thinks of how to respond. Knowing she's lying if she says yes, but the truth will hurt Amity, so she sticks with hiding her pain for now.
"Yeah, I'll be okay. Goodnight, Amity." Luz replied.
Amity can still hear the pain in Luz's voice, but knows she's not ready to talk. So she lets her rest, but leaves her with one last glimmer of hope.
"I love you." Amity said.
Hearing those words, Luz starts to tear up, but tries to keep herself from falling apart. Tomorrows another day and she'll face her feelings then.
"I love you too." Luz replied.