I disclaim everything having to do with Star Wars, of course. I own nothing, know no one. I'm just writing.

It's a little bit out there, yea. I have no back story, I just kind of wrote this solely for the entertainment of me and my friends and figured I'd throw it on here for you guys to see. I wrote it all tonight, so it was quick and the writing is poorly done. Some of the ideas and concepts are poorly put together, too, and I'm sure there are a kajillion typos. Well, let me know what you think. Just review!

Takes place six years after the wars. Anakin came to recognize the Emperor's manipulative ways BEFORE he killed younglings, and therefore, Mace Windu took Palpetine doooowwn. Anakin, however, had to leave the Order in order to stay with Padme.. Of course. Alright, enjoy!

Written from the eyes of Padme.

"You know the great thing, though, is that change can be so constant that you don't even feel a difference until there is one. It can be so slow that you don't know that your life is better- or worse- until it is, where it can just blow you away. Make you something different in an instant." –George Life As A House

I rolled in the sand carelessly, loving every aspect of it, and settled on my stomach, simply gazing out into the water. I could hear the chuckles and giggles of my husband and the two most precious things we'd ever shared and turned my head to look at them, a bright smile spread across my face.

Anakin was standing in the water, knee deep, and Luke and Leia were running around him. Leia screamed at an oncoming wave and Anakin quickly brought her tight into his arms, hugging her small toddler body against his chest. My smile widened.

I watched as Anakin set her back in the water and both of our children tackled him, bringing him down into the water. Naturally, he had let them, for two six year olds would have never been able to knock down the ever-standing pillar that was my husband. Suddenly, Leia screamed, and it wasn't the one of joy she had let out before. Worry paled my face, and I could see it in Anakin's too, just as another big wave came down upon them. This time, though, none of them were ready for it, and it broke right onto their heads, sweeping them under.

I let out a small cry and pushed myself up from the sand, running instantly to the edge of the water. Anakin emerged with Luke at his hip, but Leia's little brown head didn't pop up. Anakin looked around frantically, and I did the same, coming up beside them.

"Anakin!" I cried, pointing out into the lake farther. There was Leia, trying with all her might to fight the strong current.

Without a word, he passed Luke off to me and I bit my lip as I watched him swim quickly out to her. She instantly wrapped her arms around his neck and he took a moment to kiss her forehead- something I had seen him do many times that held much more value to the both of them than just a normal kiss.

The pit that had formed in my stomach in the sixty seconds that had made our day go from happy to horrible lifted, and I sighed in relief. Anakin pushed his way through the water back to Luke and me, and I instinctively set him down and reached for my daughter. Anakin took a second to pass her to me.

"You were so brave," he congratulated.

"Thank you, Daddy," she managed through gasps of breath and slurred words, kissing his cheek before climbing into my arms.

I kissed the top of her head numerous times until she giggled and squirmed away from me, squealing, "Mommy, Mommy, let me down." I set her down and turned back to face Anakin, who I could feel staring at me with the same boyish grin that had always graced the soft, yet somehow, firm features of his handsome face. He could have copyrighted that grin, had he really wanted to.

"I was so scared," I confessed, and he pulled me into him. I let him, and rested my head on his bare, wet chest.

Most girls, like my sister, would much rather be held by someone with much more cuddle, but I liked Anakin's embrace. I liked his thin but also strong frame, and the fact that I could tuck my chin underneath his head, or wrap my arms around his middle. I especially liked how that, even though the water was coming up between us and waves were breaking around our waists, Anakin was warm. And not the hot kind of warm, but the kind of warm you feel when you climb underneath the covers on a cold winter night; a comfortable kind of warm.

"I was too," he answered simply, wrapping his arms tight around my shoulders and resting his chin lightly on top of my head. It amazed me at how in love we could still be after nine years, war, two children, and the loss of basically our lives.

I envied Anakin more than I would ever dare say. When we married I was going into it blindly, hoping beyond all hope that nobody ever discovered us, but Anakin knew full well what he was getting himself in to.

When I was with child Anakin had briefly been turned to the dark side, even against Obi-Wan and me. The man he had seen as a father, who he trusted so deeply, had used me to manipulate him. Should Anakin not have come to understand this, the Sith would still be alive and the republic, as well as the Jedi, would be gone.

What really made me envy him, though, were his choices. Once he was set on something, he didn't leave it behind. I came to learn this when our secret was unearthed and he was faced with the choice to either become a Jedi Master or be with me. I begged him to choose his dream over me, but he simply said, "Padme, my devotion is to you. I put my career at risk when I kissed you, and I'd do it all over again. I will not leave you or this child." Then, of course, we didn't know I was carrying twins.

Anakin lost not only something he had worked at his whole life, but also many of his fans, and he gained a lot of scowls and curses in different languages. He took it like a man though, and we publicly announced not only our marriage, but also our pregnancy, and both of our resignations. Then we came to Naboo, where we live beautifully, with my family, his family, and our family, just like my darling Anni always wanted.

A familiar voice cut through my thoughts, and I pulled away to look up at him.

"Tell me what you're thinking," he requested. I felt embarrassed, and shook my head. I didn't want to remind him of the past that was so painful to him.

"Just the thought of losing one of them," I lied, looking towards our children playing in the water. He was either fooled or chose to ignore it, because he nodded in agreement.

"I couldn't bear it," he told me seriously. "You know, I always thought children would change the way I feel about you mentally. I thought maybe they'd suck all of my love away from you, but I was wrong. My love for them comes from a different place, you know?"

I nodded. Of course I knew.

Just then, I felt a hand on my leg, and I looked down to see my blue eyed son staring up at his father.

"Daddy will you play with me?" He asked.

Anakin looked to me and I pressed my lips against his a mumbled, "Go play with your son."

He grinned and tore away from me to pick Luke up. I simply went back to my spot on the sand and was soon joined by my daughter. My motherly instincts kicking in, I started raking my hand through her hair, which was my shade of brown but the curliness of her father's.

I watched as Anakin picked up Luke and threw him over a wave, soon following. Luke reached up for Anakin, and, as always, he picked him up. They spun in the waves, and Luke screamed, "Save me from the waves," to which Anakin replied with a chuckle, hugging him closer to his body. He was holding him so tight, as if he was afraid to lose him.

I realized that Anakin was genuinely happy. Everything that had happened to us had changed him so much, had made my young husband more wise and more mature than anyone had ever been, and for that he lost his youth. Now, I could see my thirty-year old husband playing with his six-year old son, and acting once more like the nineteen year old boy I first fell in love with.

I hadn't seen Anakin this happy since we had first gotten married.

"Wake up, my love," I felt someone whisper in my ear. I rolled over in the sand to gaze up at Anakin and only then realized how dark it was. There were no sounds of children, so I immediately thought the worst.

"Luke? Leia? Where are they?" I asked, sitting up straight. He grinned and stroked the top of my head, once more bringing his face so it was only inches away from mine.

"Your sister took them for tonight. Ryoo is babysitting while she goes out with Beru. They're alright," he assured me and buried his face in the curve of my neck, his lips pressing against it and lingering there.

My thoughts from earlier that day, watching him and Luke, came back to me, and before I knew it, I was stating, "You haven't been happy in ten years."

I knew I shouldn't have been accusing him of such things. He was happy to see me every time he returned from a mission, but nightmares of death and war haunted him at night; they still did. Slowly, though, they were getting less and less, and he no longer had to get up when he managed to pull himself from them. Instead, he rolled over in bed and whispered it to me, whether I was awake or not.

"I have," he replied, not bothering to pull away from my neck. It was alright, though, because I liked him there. Just touching him was good enough for me.

"Not like you were today."

He pulled up to look me square in the eyes.

"Today was a good day."

I wasn't buying it.

"Why was today so good?"

"Because I've known you for twenty years and I've been with you for ten of them." Leave it to Anakin to point out our anniversary before I do.

Suddenly, I forgot all about everything and just focused on him. I knew he was doing the same, and I knew he wanted to do more than sit there beside me because his eyes kept darting from my lips to my eyes. Finally, I pressed my feet into the sand and stood up, then offered my hand down to Anakin.

"When did you know you first loved me?" I asked from the refresher. He was lying on the bed in nothing but trouser shorts and I glanced briefly at his reflection in the mirror to see if my question had fazed him.

Anakin sat up and scratched the top of his head. "From the moment I saw you," he said easily, "From the moment you walked into the shop. Just the way the light of the setting suns fell through the window and onto you. You were perfect. And then you smiled."

I smiled, but, as much as I was flattered, that wasn't the answer I was looking for. I pulled the last of my hairpieces out and turned to him quickly, grinning. He knew what was coming and readied himself before I sprinted from the refresher, onto the foot of the bed, and threw myself onto him, straddling his waist.

"That's not what I mean," I said, leaning over him so our faces were only inches apart. "That's infatuation. I mean, when did you really know you loved me?"

Anakin thought for a moment, I could see it on his face. The way he raised his eyebrows and narrowed his eyes ever so slightly gave it away. Finally, he told me, "I first knew I loved you on Tatooine... When my mother died."

I didn't say anything. This was a painful subject for Anakin and I didn't want to ruin our wonderful night with bad memories. He continued, though.

"Up until then, I was, what you said, infatuated. Everything about you amazed me, even your kiss," he took a second to pause and kiss me gently in a way that nobody but him could kiss me, "But when my mom died, the way you were there for me, to tell me that my feelings were human and to let me cry into your breast, that's when I really fell in love with you."

I stared down at him, touched by his words, and felt my eyes sting with the incoming of happy tears. I fought them back and smiled, then laid down completely on top of him and rolled to the side. He turned as I moved, to face me, and I took his head in my hands.

We stared at each other for a few minutes, until he whispered, "I'm going to wash," and rolled off the bed in the other direction.

As he walked into the refresher, he called back in question, "When did you first love me?"

I thought hard, sitting up to watch him pull off his shorts and slip into the rushing water. I too rolled off the bed and found another pair of trouser shorts and a small night gown I had taken to wearing. After changing into the light, incredibly short, and almost see-through cream colored dress, I too slipped into the refresher to hand him the shorts just as he was coming out.

"The first picnic, here on Naboo. I didn't realize how much I cared for you until I thought that beast had trampled you dead," I answered, finally, climbing back onto the bed and positioning myself so I laid on my back, legs pressed together, and head tilted so I could watch him.

"Come to bed," I requested, and he came, kissing first my lower thigh, then my upper thigh, my hip bone, and finally my stomach. He stopped so that the top of his head was level with my shoulders, then wrapped his arms tight around my middle, gazing up at me.

"I love you," I told him, cupping his face once more.

"I love you too," he replied, and I leaned down and kissed him. He kissed back, harder than I had, and I let him carry me away with that kiss. When he finally pulled back to dig his face into my chest and just rest there, my mind started working over time, and before I knew it I was saying, "Anakin, I think I'm pregnant."

Anakin moved his hands down my waist, onto my thighs, and then up my dress so they were on top of my stomach.

"You are," he told me and we both looked down at the bumps that were his hands. At first I thought it might have been a question, but before I could say anything he went on to state, "I saw it. In my dreams."

"And?" I asked, and he looked up at me. His eyes were distant and I knew something was wrong. I moved my hands to the back of his head and started lightly playing with his hair. Not only did this action offer some sort of comfort to me, but he also felt soothed by it. By my touch.

"Anakin, I'm sure I'll be-" I started to say, but he cut me off, shaking his head.

"It's not you," he explained, resting his head once more on my lower stomach.

He didn't say anything further, and I knew it was hard, but I prompted, "So what was it, then? Is it the baby?"

"No," he mumbled. After a few seconds, he said, "It's me. I wasn't there. Everyone was there. You were there. Luke and Leia were there. The baby was there. Even the droids were there, but I wasn't."

I frowned. How could that be? What in the world could happen that would prevent Anakin from being with us? Nothing, except if maybe—No. That wasn't possible.

"I'm sure you were there, Anni," I offered rather unconvincingly, "Maybe you just didn't see yourself. Maybe you can't see yourself in visions."

"I saw myself in my vision of my mother. I saw her dying in my arms, as if I were someone else."

"If you don't want to leave me, then you'll be there."

"That's not it," he said quickly. I didn't recognize the tone in my husband's voice, but it sounded like defeat. "Everybody was sad. I could see it in everyone's faces, especially yours. It was loss." Anakin looked up to me, his brows knit in worry, and said solemnly, "Padme, I think I saw my death."

He had been thinking the same thing I had. The same thing I had dismissed. I felt the tears pool up in my eyes and let them spill over, because I knew what he said was the most likely answer.

All I could manage was a shaking head and a 'No,' at first, but finally I fought the words out. "I won't let you die," I promised, shaking my head, crying, and repeatedly running my hands over his cheeks and through his hair. I just wanted to take him in, every part, every aspect of him.

"It's my turn to protect you. I won't let you die, I promise you." I pursed my lips together, hard, and let out another burst of tears. He dug his head into my ribs and I could feel his own tears seeping through my light dress and his hands moving lightly on my stomach and back.

His hands.

I loved his touch as much as I loved touching him, and I closed my eyes, fighting back tears, and moved my fingers through his hair.

Anakin slowly looked up to me, his blue eyes watery and curly hair matted to his cheeks. He moved up on the bed so that our faces were level and I turned onto my side. Our legs entwined and his arms went around me tight. I just buried my face into his bare chest and cried.

"When?" I asked. I wanted to know how much longer I had with my husband if I couldn't save him.

"Within the year. The baby was tiny." I could hear the pain and defeat consuming Anakin through his voice. I knew he wasn't crying for his own selfish reasons- Anakin was never selfish. I knew he wasn't afraid of his death- He was the bravest man in the galaxy. I knew he was hurting because he was leaving me. He was sharing my pain.

I pulled my hands up from where they had been pressed against his chest and took his face in my hands and angled it down towards mine.

"I won't leave you," he told me, sounding sure of his words. "I won't leave you, or Luke, or Leia, or our baby. I won't die." Anakin both looked and sounded determined of his promise.

"I'm going to save you," I reminded him, forcing a comforting smile onto my face.

He returned the smile, but I could see the evident pain behind it. I used my fingertips to lightly pull his face down into mine, pulling him into a soft kiss. Now every aspect of our bodies were touching, and I could feel his heart beating rapidly against mine.

We stayed like that for most of the night; just sharing kisses and matching heartbeats.

Months passed and my stomach grew. We'd stare at it for hours, as if we were afraid we'd lose it. As if we were afraid we'd lose Anakin.

Every night Anakin would rest his head lightly on my bump and talk to our unborn child, letting it know everything about him, good and bad. He even bragged about how beautiful I was, which made me smile. Every morning we checked to make sure it was there, always touching it. Although we welcomed the birth of our child, we dreaded what would happen following it.

As the ninth month came around, so did Obi-Wan. He claimed he could feel my pain and was worried, which made Anakin worry. The last thing he wanted was to hurt me, and for a Jedi Master to sense my feelings strong out of all those other people's feelings made Anakin sick.

That wasn't the only thing that made Anakin sick, though. There was something else. Instead of him holding my hair back from the sickness that came with my pregnancy, I was holding his. Holding him.

Out of nowhere he would fall to the ground. Collapse in a wave of nausea. Sometimes it would leave as quickly as it came, but others it would stay with him for the rest of the day and all he could do was lay in bed with his legs pulled as closely to his chest as they would go. I always stayed with him, not wanting to miss a single moment with him. I was afraid if I closed my eyes I would lose him. I was constantly pulling him closer.

Everyone knew he was dying. Though no one said anything to either of us, they knew. I could see the worry in our relative's faces. I could see it in our children's, too.

"Anakin," I whimpered both in need and pain. He was there next to me, with his faced pressed into my pillow and his cheek against mine, doubled over in another attack of his own pain, but clutching my hand devotedly.

I cried hard, biting my lip to the point of blood, and shut my eyes as tight as they would go.

"Almost," I heard Obi-Wan say. I opened my eyes as another burst of pain came and whimpered my husbands name again. We squeezed each other's hands and cried together, pressing against the other's cheek harder.

He looked up to me and I could see his whole face was contorted in the utmost of pain. For a moment I thought he might be sharing my pain, but then I remembered his mysterious sickness. He lips rolled back to reveal his teeth, pressing hard together against the pain, and he managed to whimper, "I'm here," before digging his face back into my pillow.

I squeezed his hand again and yelped as the final push caused even more pain, but was comforted by the sound of my newborn crying baby.

"It's a girl," Obi-Wan told me as he angled the baby so that we could see it. I touched her ankle, overwhelmed with how little a frail she seemed, and Anakin managed to look up.

"Kima," he said. We had decided on the name long ago, and I smiled, echoing him.

I was still watching our new daughter when Anakin let out a loud moan and suddenly fell to the floor, releasing my hand.

Both Obi-Wan and I cried out and he passed Kima off to the nurse, rushing to Anakin's side. I leaned over my hospital bed to watch my husband thrash around on the floor, pain showing clearly on his features. His eyes were shut tight and I knew that this was the worst wave of all.

At that moment, seeing him on the ground like that, moaning and crying, I wanted his pain. I wanted to take it all, and die for him, if only to relieve him of the agony. I hated seeing him hurting like that.

Just as quickly as he had started thrashing, Anakin fell still, and I cried out again.

"No," I moaned, climbing off the bed, despite my weakness, and falling onto the ground beside him.

"Anakin," I cried, kissing his forehead vigorously, and begged him to wake up. I felt cold hands grip my arms and looked up to see the old familiar face of Bail Organa, now King of Alderaan.

I watched in desperation and confusion as Mace Windu and another Jedi Master gathered Anakin up and swept he and Obi-Wan out of the room. That was all I could do; was watch, and cry, and hope to Force that my love was going to be okay.

The next few days I spent locked in my room, laying on the bed in Anakin's clothes and crying. I knew nothing of how my husband was doing and could only assume the worst. I refused to see anyone not carrying news about his health, even my own children.

It hurt me to see them and to be with them when I couldn't be with him. I should have been with him. I had held him through all of his pain, so why couldn't I hold him now?

What were Jedi even doing on Naboo? They had abandoned him years before, so why were they helping him? I some ways, a lot of ways, I wished they'd just leave. I knew they were only making Anakin's pain longer. As much as I loved my husband and didn't want to lose him, I also didn't want him to suffer.

I refused to eat or speak. Talking to a wall would have been the equivalent of talking to me if the conversation wasn't concerning Anakin.

"Daddy's awake," I heard a soft voice say from behind me. I released Anakin's pillow and turned to face Luke.

"Thank you," I said, but didn't get up. As much as I wanted to see Anakin, I couldn't take the sight of him, laying there in pain.

I watched as Luke left, then continued to stare at the door until Obi-Wan entered through it long after.

"Anakin wants to see you," he told me, and as much as I dreaded the sight, I nodded.

I sighed an, "I know," dismissing him, and took a minute to compose myself. I knew I had to be strong for both Anakin and I.

I took a deep breath, got up, and walked to where I knew Anakin was. Once more, I took a deep breath before stepping into his room.

I gasped at the sight of Anakin lying in a bed, helpless and weak, and rushed to him. I did my best to fight back tears but just seeing the agony contorting his face made me bawl.

"Oh Anni," I sighed, leaning over him and rubbing his forehead. He looked up at me, his eyes red from crying. He was looking for something in me, I could tell.

"I'm sorry," he said. His voice was weak and hardly there, and I knew he was hanging on by a thread.

Confused, I shook my head. "No, I'm sorry," I countered, continuing to rub his forehead. "I'm sorry I couldn't save you from your pain."

Anakin shut his eyes against the pain and the tears and I had to stand up and look away. I bit my lip and let the tears poor out, hugging my arms against my body. There was nothing I could do to make him feel better, and I felt helpless.

"Hold me," I heard him beg desperately, and I turned back to him and climbed onto the bed next to him. I pulled his head against my chest because he was too weak to do it himself and cried into the top of his head.

I felt his once strong hand grip my wrist lightly and he pulled out of me as much as he could. I let him and climbed beneath the covers with him, my hands finding place in his hair. He brought a now delicate hand up to lightly touch my face and wiped away my tears.

"I hate hurting you," he told me in a whisper, and I bit my lip again.

"I hate you hurting," I replied, moving into him. He kissed me, and, though his other actions were weaker, his kiss was stronger than ever, filled with love. He continued to rub my damp cheek, then pushed me away.

"Forget me," he begged. I knew it was because he didn't want me to suffer, and I hated him for being so selfless. I needed something to hate.

"Never," I whispered, trailing my finger along his lips.

"I love you." He was giving up. He had been fighting to say that to me, and now he was giving up.

"No," I moaned, shaking my head as much as I could with my face pressed against the pillow. I stared into his once magnificent but now helpless blue eyes and almost couldn't bare it.

"I love you," I returned in desperation. "Don't leave me, Anakin. I can't live without you. Don't give up," I begged. He gave me one last look, as if to say, 'I'm sorry,' then shut his eyes, and I watched as his face relaxed and he was flew away.

I let Anakin go that night and continued to live on through our children. I never forgot him like he requested and now, as I sit here dying from the same pain he did, listening to my grandchildren play together in the gardens, I anticipate seeing the same calmed face I spent half my life loving.

It's strange, because I the sounds around me are quickly fading. I hear my daughter's husband say, "We've lost her," and watch as Luke embraces Leia and Kima tightly. I smile, knowing I live my life well, and wish the best for my children and their children before allowing the Force, something I had only felt through Anakin, consume me.

Everything goes white and a new setting forms around me. I'm standing on the balcony of the lake retreat on Naboo and there are people around me. People I knew and loved smile to me and nod. People I'd simply met on the street that had long since died greet me as I pass through the crowd. Only when I catch my reflection in the lake as lean over the banister, disappointed that the only person I haven't seen is the person I want to see the most, do I realize that I'm young again. I'm in my early twenties, I can tell, and I'm wearing a beautiful white gown. My hair is falling over my shoulders in soft curls, but I don't care about any of that.

"Hello, my angel," I hear, and feel a familiar warm touch on my back. It's true, I do feel like and angel.

"Hello, my love," I say, turning to smile brightly at Anakin. He leans one arm against the banister and wraps the other around me, pulling me into him. I go willingly and he presses his lips against my forehead and mumbles, "I missed you."

"I missed you too," I whisper, and then angle my neck so I'm staring straight into his eyes. I don't know if I'm dead or living again. I don't know if I'll grow old, but I don't care. As long as I'm with Anakin, I'm all right.

Thend.