Rachel didn't get off the plane, but what she finds in Paris makes her realise that there's no place like home

Why she didn't stay

She had had a moment in the plane, before it took off where she wanted to switch her mobile phone back on, call Ross, tell him she loved him and she was coming back. Oh no, not again, part of her mind told her as she forced herself to leave the phone where it was. Not again. Too-ing and Fro–ing for seven years. There had been a relationship that had failed through stupidity. There had been a drunken marriage that hadn't lasted. They had had a daughter, but even she hadn't been enough to bring them together. They were always on the table, but they never got anywhere. It was neither togetherness nor separation and it was a state that was holding her, and probably him back. There was nothing romantic about the line:

I can't live, with or without you.'

Nothing.

All it was, was torture. Monica and Chandler had found their centre in each other. Phoebe had found The One. Joey was living life the way he wanted, and when or if he found The One' there would be no ghosts on his side to mess it up. It was only Ross and herself who were stuck, circling each other but never meeting. They'd made no progress at all.

Rachel sighed. It was so typical of him to come out with it, at the very last moment. Before it was too late — but it was too late. He wasn't the only one guilty of that — she'd been too late, figuring out that she wanted him back, when he'd fallen too deep in love with Emily. The breakdown of that marriage had not been a new beginning for them and instead they'd wandered in and out of each other's orbit, no-one else's pull being strong enough to make them break away from each other. Oh, it wasn't love that was the problem. They did love each other, but love wasn't enough.

New York sped away, at hundreds of miles and hour, and she tried instead to think of what lay ahead.

Once she'd arrived in Paris, she'd gone straight to the hotel. She hadn't thought she could sleep so well but after she'd finished a call to her mother to ask after Emma, she fell asleep, still wearing her travelling clothes.

The next day was all activity. Her French assistant showed her around the office and then, as had been arranged, showed her to her temporary accommodation which was fortunately furnished. Not all of the furniture was to her taste, but she was surprised at how much of it was. All of it was of reasonable quality too.

It's not bad,' Marie said dismissively. It would take a while for Rachel to start taking style and good taste for granted. You don't have to move out at all if you don't feel like moving..' That was a relief, she thought. She didn't want to be under any more pressure. She looked around the rooms, which were big and airy. Over the balcony, facing the back, was a view of the garden, which had a back gate leading to a lane.

It is quicker to get to the main road through that gate,' Marie said, Most residents use that way out.'

Do you live here?' Rachel asked.

Not any more, I've got an apartment with my friends.' Ah friends. Rachel felt a pang. She had not allowed herself to think how much she'd miss them until this point.

I suppose now you wish to see the Creche?' Marie said, and they left the apartment.

A ground floor apartment would have been better, so that Emma could get into the garden, Rachel thought, but as it was, she was beginning to like her new home already. Drinking coffee on the balcony, she watched the people returning from work. She saw a young woman, hurrying home carrying a baby who was crying. Hungry, tired, wet, who knew? A tall man, came strolling along with a jaunty air. He looked up to the balconies, first it seemed to the one next to Rachel and then at Rachel. He grinned.

Bienvenue.' The rest she couldn't understand and he switched to English with a faint Scottish accent. So you're new here, welcome.'

Hi,' Rachel said. He glanced back at the balcony next door, somewhat nervously. She wondered if he lived next door and if so, with whom.

See you around,' he waved as he continued on in. As he lifted his hand, she noticed the glint of a wedding ring on that finger. Rachel went inside.

The solution to her problems did not lie in getting another man — at least not straight away. And certainly not someone else's, although if whoever she was made him anxious look up at the balcony, she'd lose him without Rachel's intervention.

Exhaustion hit Rachel as she rinse out her coffee cup. Getting up in time for work was going to be a snap but lasting until the end of the work day was going to be hard. She dialled her mother again. In a few days, she would be bringing Emma, she'd stay for a few days and then they would be on their own.

After find out that everything was fine, she dialled Monica quickly and got her answering machine. She left a message that said very little. Who else? Her hand lingered over the phone. Ross? But what was there left to say? I miss you. Why are you there then? I can't answer that.

She sighed.

There was a sudden crash next door. Rachel jumped up. That sounded an awful lot like a plate being smashed against the wall. There was also screaming. She couldn't make out the words but it sounded like angry screaming, not the screams of someone in trouble. That would be the person being screamed at, Rachel thought dryly. The man who had greeted her, she thought, because there was an unmistakeably feminine tone to the screaming. No wonder he had looked so anxious, she thought, returning home to that.

Smash went another plate. Then she heard a door slam. Rachel couldn't help it. She ran to her own door to see if she could tell if someone had stormed out of the flat. She could hear nothing, but instead she rushed to the balcony. There was no-one outside, but with her balcony doors open, and those of next door also open, she could hear the man she'd met earlier plead,

Darling, it will be great, trust me.' Darling obviously didn't believe him.

Rachel was suddenly aware that she was being watched by a middle aged couple sitting on their balcony. She felt sudden shame at having been caught eavesdropping and she turned back into the apartment. Just then, the phone rang, and gratefully, she ran to it.