Sitting in the hard chair in the therapist's waiting room, Abby tried to while away the time by reading the notices on the far wall and examining her hair for split ends. It was really quiet…the office wasn't near the middle of town so she couldn't hear any cars or people. She had never felt more out of place. It had been her idea, though. She could've gone to the Psych department at County, but the idea of having treatment with the people she'd worked for as a med student…she didn't want things to be that close to home. She'd already ended up in County once, and she really didn't want her work and her personal life mingled that closely together.

"Abby Lockhart?" Abby looked up towards the desk where she had heard her name. "Dr. White will see you now."

"Good morning Abby." Dr. White held out her hand for Abby to shake. She smiled as Abby loosely took her hand. "How are you this morning? Please, take a seat"

She sat down on one end of the large sofa. "I'm ok, thanks." Abby looked at the doctor. She looked around 55, short brown hair, about the same height as Abby. She had a really welcoming face that made Abby feel a little more at ease, although any kind of situation where she was not the doctor automatically made her feel uncomfortable.

Dr. White picked up a pair of reading glasses from her desk and sat down in a large armchair facing Abby. "Alright Abby, today I just want to chat to you, get to know a little bit about you and get a feeling of why you're here and what you would like to get out of these sessions." Abby nodded. Suddenly the print of the Empire State Building on the back wall of the office had become fascinating, and she couldn't take her eyes off it. "Could you being by telling me a little bit about yourself? Where do you work, do you have any family…?"

Abby switched her gaze from the print to her fingernails. "I work at County ER. As a doctor. I only just graduated, actually. Before that I used to be a nurse there, and then before that I was an OB nurse at County."

"That's a lot of hard work…do you enjoy working there?"

"Yea…it seems like I've been there forever. It's kinda weird being a doctor now, though. All that responsibility…and you've just got to know so much. I mean, I had to know stuff when I was a nurse, sure, but…well I guess it's just different." Dr. White nodded.

"What about your family? What do they think of your career path?"

"Well, they're proud, I guess."

"You guess?"

"I don't see them much." Abby uncrossed her legs and re-crossed them the other way. "Maggie and Eric are…not always the easy to contact."

"They're your sister and brother?"

"Eric's my brother. Maggie's my mom."

"Oh. So I guess you don't call her mom then?"

Abby took a deep breath. "No, no I don't call her mom. Well, I do sometimes I guess. But if I call her mom that gives the impression she looked after me while I was growing up, and wasn't always disappearing to go on a road trip, or lock herself in the bathroom…" Abby could feel her chest tighten as she talked about Maggie. She hated talking about her, especially to people she'd only just met. "But hey, I was a tough kid." Smiling wanly at Dr. White, Abby tried to downplay the situation. If the doctor wanted to push the point, she didn't.

"Ok Abby we we'll talk about your family in a while. What about work? Do you have many friends inside your job at the ER?"

"I spend so much time there I think that's where all my friends are. They really came through for me when…when I needed them."

"When you overdosed, you mean?"

Abby blinked. She sat on her hands. She shifted forwards in her seat. "They were just doing their jobs I guess, but…"

"You think they still saw you as just another patient?"

"No. No I know they didn't. But…"

Dr. White looked at Abby…. it made Abby feel a little uncomfortable, like she was being examined. "Do you think your friends care about you, Abby?"

Abby squirmed. "Yea…sure they do."

"And do you care about them?"

"Well…yea. There are some great people there."

"Can you tell me about them?"

Although she wasn't one for openly expressing her feelings about people, thinking of her friends in the ER made her feel a little calmer. "Well…Susan is lovely. She's one of my best friends. It's weird sometimes, because she's my boss and we get cross with each other but…but I know she cares about me. And I care about her."

"Caring seems to play an important part."

"Well yea…I care about a lot of people. I mean, I wouldn't exactly count Kerry as a friend, but that doesn't mean I don't care about her. That doesn't mean I won't help her or comfort her or support her if she needs it."

Dr. White smiled softly. "I think these women are lucky to have you as a friend, Abby."

Abby looked at her shoes, but something deep inside her felt happy the doctor had said this. Her friends were important to her.

"Then there's Carter."

"Carter?"

"Yea. We have a…weird relationship."

"Weird how?"

"Well…we were together, for a while, He was going to ask me to marry him…but then he didn't. He went to Africa and…well, met someone else."

"That sounds confusing. So he's in Africa?"

"No, not any more. He came home…" Abby felt she was digging herself into a hole trying to explain the whole Carter situation…Kem, the baby…she just couldn't handle trying to give Dr. White all the details. "Well, it's complicated."

"I see. So do you two still get along?"

"Well yea, I still work with him. And he paid my tuition fees for med school."

"Really? That sounds like a big commitment."

Abby smirked. "No, not really. Not for him anyway."

Walking out of the large double doors, Abby squinted into the sunlight. The weather was cold as the day ended. Sitting down on a small wall outside the building, Abby reached into her pocket and fished out her cigarettes and her cell phone. As she absentmindedly smoked, she thought about the appointment she'd just had. She'd spoken about more than she thought she would. Although there was still a lot she hadn't said.

She thought of her empty apartment. Scrolling through her phone, she found the number she was looking for and pressed 'call'.

"Hi Susan? Hi…yea it's Abby. Are you on tonight? You wanna come round? Yes, I've just had my first session and…well the apartment will feel a little lonely. I'll be home in about 40 minutes? Ok, see you then."

She stood up and walked off towards the EL, smiling properly for the first time that day.