'Susan, quickly, tube her now!'
'Luka I don't think she's going to make it!'
'She's dying, quick help her!'
'Time of death, 11.24am.'
Abby woke up with a jump. She looked around – her room was bathed in dawn light. Looking at her clock she saw it was only 5am. Still a few more hours. She felt her forehead. It was covered in cold sweat. She hated having those dreams...where she was in trauma, she couldn't see but she wanted to cry out...'I'm still here! I can hear you!' Getting out of bed – there was no way she would get back to sleep now – she walked into the bathroom and turned on the shower.
Closing the door to her apartment, Abby walked down the hallway and blinked into the morning light as she opened the building's door. She began the journey she had made so many times before, but a few months back she had never intended to make it again. Back to the place she thought was going to be her last. She'd had therapy, been given pills that she wasn't the slightest bit interested in taking and had talked endlessly about her mother, her brother, her failed loves and her drink problem. Because, of course, once you can list your problems, you just tick them off one by one as each gets solved. 'Ha!' she thought as she walked into the EL station. 'If only it were that easy!'
As Abby reached the front doors of the hospital, she stopped. If she said she could remember coming in here on a stretcher, she'd be lying. Her first memories had been waking up in the ICU. Unless you count the dreams, of course. She moved round the doors to the edge of the building, and sat down on the cold ground to have a smoke. Watching the ambulances pull in and the paramedics wheeling patients off into the hospital, she got a very real sense of what had happened to her. What she'd done to herself. Of course, she'd gone over it numerous times in therapy, but sitting on the hard ground watching people being taking into the ER fighting for their lives, it all seemed very real.
'Carter I've got this one, you wait for the next one' Susan grabbed the trolley and wheeled it through the double doors. As Carter turned round, he spotted Abby sitting on the floor. Smiling, he walked over.
'Hiding out?' he asked, squatting down beside her.
'Yea. Just preparing myself I guess.'
'It'll be okay Abby. You've been doing this for years. Just like riding a bicycle.'
Abby gave Carter a strange look, then laughed. 'Thanks. I'll be in in a minute. Your trauma's pulling in.'
Carter looked round. 'See you inside. I can't believe you're still smoking those things.'
'Yea, apparently they're gonna kill me.'
Carter rolled his eyes. Abby was clearly back, complete with her morbid sense of humor. As he ran off towards the approaching ambulance, Abby ground out her cigarette on the floor. Waiting for Carter to take the patient inside, she slowly followed him in.
People were running everywhere, shouting orders, patients were complaining or moaning or just generally bleeding.
'See Abby, like you never left!'
Abby looked round to see Frank behind the desk. 'Why thankyou.'
'No problem. Glad you're back. We need more docs!'
Pushing the door to the lounge open, she heard someone call her name. She turned round and saw Kerry moving up the corridor towards her.
'Abby! Good to have you back. We've missed you.'
'Thanks, Dr. Weaver. It's good to be here.'
Smiling, Kerry moved off down the hall.
Putting on her doctor's coat and pinning her name badge on, Abby felt anxious. She also felt like she was back where she belonged. Back with her family. They had been there for her when it mattered the most – she had seen that. That fact she was able to put on a doctor's coat and go on to continue saving other's lives was a testament to that. Lost in her thoughts, she didn't hear Susan come in until she heard her name again.
'Abby! I'm so glad you're back! It's good to see you!' Susan threw her arms around her friend. 'You okay? Ready to face the world again huh?'
'Yea...yea I am.' Abby smiled.
'I'm just getting some coffee, I'll be right out.' Abby smiled at Susan, and pushed open the door.
'Abby! Patient here been in a hit and run. Adult male approximately 25 years old, broken pelvis and signs of internal bleeding...' Abby was back into that world once more. Like she had never been away. It had to end sometime. But the ending was not what she had planned. Her ending was her new beginning.