CRAZYNESS! (Chapter 1)

A/N: Very odd & weird, my first humor fic, second fic alltogether. I know there's a ton of spelling errors, but my spell check is messed up. Just ignore them.

Author: Our story begins when J. K. Rowling spills enchanted coffee on the Harry Potter boxed-set...

J. K. Hey, I know what's happening, you moron!

Author: Shaddup! Anyway, if you know what's happening, why aren't you ducking?

J. K. Why should I duck? Ooh, a penny. {bends down for penny} {knife whizzes over head} What the...?

Harry: {Pops out of boxed set} {does war dance} You shall diiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiie!

Hermione: {Pops out of boxed set} {does war dance} You shall diiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiie!

Ron: {Pops out of boxed set} {does war dance} You shall diiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiie!

Draco: {Pops out of boxed set} {does cancan}

Harry & Ron & Hermione: {Dirty looks Malfoy}

Draco: What?

Hermione: {shrugs} Anyway... {turns to J. K.} We have come to punish you for the terrible terrible things you have done to us in the books.

Harry: Like when you made me suck at the summoning charm.

Hermione: Or like when you made me steal from Snape's store cabinet.

Ron: Or like when you made me fall madly in love with Hillary Duff.

Hermione: She made you fall in love with Hillary Duff?!?!?

J. K. I never did that!

Hermione: She didn't? But then...

Ron: {blushes} Can I help it if she's cute?

J. K. & Hermione: {Slap Ron}

Hermione: How could you love that PIMP?

J. K. You ruined the pairing I had with you and Hermy in the 6th book! How dare you?

Hermione: Don't you dare call me Hermy!

Author: Ooh, it annoys you? Okay then. Since I'm the President {ahem} God in this universe... {changes Hermione's birth certificate to read Hermy}

J. K. So you know, Her original last name was Puckle, if you want to put that in there.

Author: Oh, okay. {Changes to Hermy Puckle}

Hermy Puckle: {Pulls out wand} Just for that... {conjures gag}

Author: Mmmmffffmfmfmfghuresnjkdvdfafdgidsfsdlf;!

Draco: Mmmmffffmfmfmfghuresnjkdvdfafdgidsfsdlf-SEMICOLON?

Ron: This girl's a loser. Let's go bowling.

Author: {Kicks Ron} {Takes off gag} {Zaps Hermione, sorry, Hermy} No more attacking the author!

Hermione: Or what?

Author: Or this! {Pokes Hermy} {pokes again} Pokie, pokie, pokie, pokie...

Hermione: Okay, okay, stop! I won't attack you anymore, I swear, just STOP POKING ME!

Author: All right then. well, maybe one more. {Pokies} Okay, NOW I'm done.

J. K.: Ron, about that bowling...