RANDOMNESS AND A PASTRY (Chapter 2)

A/N: Yes, I'm back and hyper-er than ever. this chap is based on ... well, I'll tell you at the end so that I don't spoil the surprize. Enjoy!

Author: And soooooooo... they decided to go bowling, and everything was nice and normal, and Ron was sucking--

Ron: Hey! 23 isn't such a bad score!

{All roll eyes}

Author: Anyway... so, everyone was having a great time until the author (me) started to gorge on jellybeans and became hyper, and we all know what that means!

Hermione: {Cowers}

Author: Yes, it's time to torture the characters! Let's bring on a celebrity to bowl with us!

{Tick Tock...}

Harry: {Checks watch} What's taking them so long?

Author: No idea. Hey, you! Cameraman!

Cameraman: Huh?

Author: Swing the camera around and put on an x-ray filter or something. Look at the front door.

Cameraman: Okey-doky, your sugar-high-ness.

Author: Meanwhile...

{At front door of grungy bowling place}

Picasso: I am Pablo Picasso and I'm here to do some weird bowling thing with a bunch of badly drawn novel characters.

Guard: Can you prove that you're Picasso? Do you have ID?

Picasso: They didn't have ID in my time. How about this; get me a chalkboard and a piece of chalk.

Author: {Zapps one down}

Picasso: {Draws a beautiful piece of art on chalkboard}

Guard: Go ahead.

Picasso: Thankee. {Enters}

Author: Back inside...

Draco: Um... Picasso? He's not a celebrity! He's just some know-nothing no-talent country artist from 200 years ago, or something.

Author: Well, that's really inaccurate, but you're such a nice little slimeball that I'll get rid of him for you. {Flicks away Picasso} Someone else should be arriving soon...

Author: At the entrance again...

Einstien: I am Albert Einstien, and I'm here to help improve Ron Weasley's bowling with basic geometry and the principal of AIM.

Guard: {Bored} ID please.

Einstien: I don't have mine, but how about this? {Draws equation on chalkboard}

Guard: Good enough. Go right in.

Author: Inside, yet again...

Einstien: Now, Ron, the key to bowling is AIM! Throw the ball down the center now.

Ron: {Throws gutterball}

Einstien: At least 1 pin, please! Get it right or J. K. won't pay my fee for teaching you to bowl.

Ron: {Another gutterball}

Einstien: All right, I give up! {Walks out}

Author: Now, let's get outside and watch our last celebrity.

George W. Bush: I'm President George W. Bush, and I'm here to dig for oil under this bowling place.

Guard: ID please?

Bush: Um... my ID fell in the toilet.

Guard: Well, Einstien and Picasso were able to prove who they were without IDs.

Bush: Who're Einstien and Picasso?

Guard: {Sigh} Go right in Georgie.

Author: Now, we're back inside to stay! Horray! {Nails down camera]

Bush: Eek! Kids with magic wands! I'm getting out of here! {scurries off}

A/N: Sry, I had to get rid of all those guys so we could get our next celeb...

Harry: Look! {Points}

Author: And there, sure enough, walking towards them, is--

Hermione: The Pillsbury Doughboy?!?!?

Ron: Bloody hell! Look at those muscles! He must be on steroids!

Doughboy: SHUT UP, YOU LITTLE PIECE OF... ho-hoo! {Glares}

Harry: I'm sorry. I had to.

Draco: Well, is it fun?

Harry: Pretty fun, yeah.

Draco: {Pokes Doughboy}

Doughboy: Ho-hoo! CUT IT OUT, OR I'LL KICK YOUR... hehehehehehehehe! Even the crumb is yum! {Middle-fingers Harry} Lets just bowl.

J. K.: Here, you widdle do' boy. {Gives him the heaviest bowling ball}

Doughboy: {Spinning-kicks bowling ball}

Hermione: A strike!?! That's nuts! How could he get a strike? He's shorter than the ball!

Harry: Blimey, Ron, you;re right. He IS on steroids!

Doughboy: {Victory dance on top of ball return machine thingymugummy}
Author: Um...

Voice from nowhere: Niner niner, Big Blue to Crum-is-Yum, Crum-is-Yum, do you read? We have a breech at base, request back-up.

Doughboy: {Into walkie-talkie} I read, Big Blue. I'm on my way. Roger, over and out. {Zips on CIA jacket, shoots grappling hook at the ceiling, swings out of building}

All: {Gape} Um...

Author: Toooooooooooooooooooo weird for me now. End of the chap!

A/N: Now I can tell you what I based this on: I'm in a summer camp now ehere we're doing this play. I'm the sherrif, and I wear this fat suit that makes me look huuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuge! Now, every time someone pokes me, I make the doughboy noise. Weird, huh? Even backstage (really annoying to our director!). I should have another update soon, be patient. Feel free to submit suggestions for the plot in your {ahem} {ahem} REVIEW. Thx.

Coming soon (hopefully):

1) Swami Luney
2) Thoroughly Modern Hermy
3) American Idle
4) HP Survivor