Disclaimer: None of the JAG characters are mine, they belong to Donald Bellisario and CBS and whatnot.

Huzzah, found more time to write. Well, more specifically I conveniently ignored my homework for a while to write since it's quite a bit less stressful. Thanks for the reviews, guys! I'm glad you like the puppy, I'm rather fond of him too. :-D So anyways, read, review, enjoy and all that jazz!

After a few more minutes Mac headed inside, Hammer happily bouncing along in front of her. She couldn't seem to shake the feeling of melancholy that had fell on her after her abbreviated story to Jen and Mattie. Though she'd put on a good face for them these minutes outside had let her sink back into her depressing thoughts. Sighing she shook her head slightly; she was going to go insane if she kept thinking like this. Riding up the elevator she stared moodily at the doors, wanting them to open and yet not. A small part of her wished she could just hide in the elevator forever or at least until Harm was home. Every hour she desperately wished it had all been just a horrible dream and she would wake up any minute. And then she'd remember it wasn't and reality would come crashing back in.

She was so lost in her thoughts she didn't even notice the man lurking outside her door until Hammer let out a loud bark at him. Her head jerked up as she focused on her surroundings. Mentally she cursed herself, what the hell kind of marine am I! Her eyes scanned the area, almost immediately coming to rest on the figure. Frowning she relaxed slightly though she still watched him warily as she approached the door. Hammer had apparently taken an instant dislike to him, still growling and barking, doing his best to appear ferocious despite his size. Absently Mac spoke to him, "Hammer, hush." The puppy blinked up at her and subsided though he crowded closer to her legs.

Sighing she looked at the man, unlocking her door, "What are you doing here, Clay?"

Clayton Webb arched an eyebrow at her, glancing briefly down at the puppy. It was clear he didn't know quite what to make of the gray and white ball of fluff that had challenged him so ferociously, "Hammer?" He glanced back up at her, "Isn't that Harm's call sign?"

Mac nodded once, pushing the door open and entering the apartment, not caring whether he followed or the door slammed in his face. She sat down in a chair, bending over to unhook Hammer's leash. Hearing the door close she glanced up, scooping up the puppy and placing him in her lap. Clay had apparently opted for the come in option and was making his way to the couch. Mac watched him silently, slowly petting the puppy who was also watching Clay. When it became clear he wasn't going to speak Mac asked again, "What the hell are you doing here, Clay?"

He frowned slightly, "I came to see if you were ok of course, Sarah."

"I see. Well as you can see I'm fine," she stated blandly. While she showed no outward signs of hostility it was apparent she didn't particularly want him around. Hammer shifted under her hand and she consciously relaxed, not wanting to convey her aggravation to the dog. After his performance in the hall she wasn't quite sure what the puppy would do if she let him down, and honestly she preferred him near her. She felt closer to Harm with the puppy nearby, he was sort of like a security blanket and for once she didn't particularly mind relying on someone or something other than herself.

Clay shifted uncomfortably on the couch, looking everywhere but at Mac. She waited silently and finally he looked back at her, "I've been uh… waiting to talk to you most of the day. But you left before I could."

"And the reason you didn't come up after I got back?"

"Well then you had the girls with you and… him," he gestured vaguely to the puppy.

Mac arched an eyebrow, "So either you're afraid of two girls and a puppy, which I doubt, or you wanted to speak to me alone."

Clay nodded slightly, "Yes. I mean, yes to the second part, I wanted to talk to you alone."

Mac sighed, rubbing her temple with her free hand, wincing slightly as she stretched the healing gunshot graze a little. Lowering her hand she fixed Clay with a level gaze, "Why do you need to speak to me in private, Clay?"

He looked slightly unsure, glancing away again. After a moment he rose and began to pace, ruffling his hair. Mac and Hammer watched him walk, Mac with amusement and frustration, the puppy with curiosity. Clay shot a glance at her then looked away again, studying the floor in front of him as he paced. Finally he spoke hesitantly, "I wanted to talk about us."

Mac blinked, vaguely surprised though she realized she probably shouldn't have been. When they'd broken up she'd known Clay still wanted to be with her. But he hadn't said anything to her since so she'd dared to hope he'd gotten over it or just decided to let things be. Obviously she was wrong. Letting out her breath slowly she stated coolly, "There is no us, Clay, you know that."

He stopped pacing and raised his head to look at her. She almost felt sorry for him, he looked so sad. Yet she couldn't quite bring herself really feel sorry for him. After their last encounter she'd done a bit of thinking about what he'd said and came to the realization that while Clay might actually care about her in his own way, much of it stemmed from his perception that "she was strong and didn't need much." Definitely not the way to get a girl to forgive you, she thought wryly. Arching an eyebrow at him she waited for his response.

After a short while longer he sighed, trying again, "There isn't, but there was once. There could be again, Sarah."

Mac immediately shook her head. Though she wasn't sure Harm returned her feelings, should've hung around two seconds longer, marine, she was clear on her own. As such she couldn't really concede to dating Webb again. Hell, she wasn't entirely positive why she'd started dating him in the first place. At least some of the reason was to hurt Harm, yeah, brilliant idea that. Annoyed she tried to silence the little sarcastic voice though she didn't quite succeed. Either way, she wasn't going to do something idiotic like get another boyfriend, especially not one she knew for a fact would end up lying to her and probably pretend to be dead again.

Webb frowned, trying a different tack, "You said you loved me. Did your feelings really change that quickly?"

Mac sighed, rubbing her temple again; yeah, this conversation was going just great. She answered as calmly as possible, "Look, Clay, the answer is not going to change. There is no us, there never will be."

He eyed her shrewdly, "You didn't answer the question."

Mac gazed at him steadily, "Do you really want me to?"

Clay took a step forward, feeling confident that he'd found a chink in her argument. He felt sure that the answer was no, after all why would she avoid it if she could say she didn't love him? "Answer the question, Sarah."

Mac looked him directly in the eye, "No, my feelings didn't change that quickly. They didn't need to. I don't love you, Clay, I never really did."

A triumphant grin had begun to spread across his face at her words. He knew it; she loved him, now they could move forward. Wait, what? he replayed the rest of her words. The grin slipped, turning into a look of confusion. "What did you just say?"

Mac sighed, still gazing at him directly. Her eyes were calm, reflecting complete confidence and truth in what she was saying, "I don't love you. I never did."

His jaw dropped slightly, he couldn't believe what he was hearing. His mind raced, trying to figure out just where he'd lost control of this conversation. He'd been so sure he would get the answer he wanted, positive she was avoiding it because she was avoiding her feelings for him. Then it hit him, his eyes narrowed, "You're in love with him."

Mac blinked, confused at the sudden change of topic, "What?"

"Harmon Rabb, you're in love with him."

Mac arched an eyebrow. Slowly she set Hammer on the floor then stood carefully, "I think it's time you left, Clay."

"Answer me."

She shook her head, "It's none of your business. Now please, leave."

"Why, Sarah?"

She sighed, getting more frustrated by the second, "Why what, Clay?"

"Why him and not me?"

She shrugged, stating simply, "He's Harm. Now please, get out of my apartment."

Clay stared at her, slightly shocked. He had no idea how to react. Harm was Mr. Oblivious, well admittedly he'd given up his entire career and nearly his life to come after her but that was beside the point. He couldn't quite fathom it. Mac had just opened her mouth to once more insist he leave when there was a knock. Silently giving thanks she grabbed her crutch and hobbled to the door, pulling open quickly. Mattie and Jen were waiting on the other side, bags of ice cream in hand. Mac grinned and moved out of the way.

The two girls entered then froze. Looking from Mac to Clay then back both girls looked confused. Finally Jen spoke, "Are we interrupting something?"

"Yes," Clay said.

"No," Mac overrode him, shooting the CIA agent a glare. "Mr. Webb was just leaving."

Clay stared at her, stunned that she really was insisting he leave. He started, "Sarah…"

"No, Clay. Now leave."

Shooting her a last look he finally left. Just outside the door he turned, planning on pleading one last time only to find the door closing in his face. With a sigh he turned and left the building. He knew Mac was on medical leave for two weeks, he'd come by and try again when they wouldn't be interrupted.

Inside the apartment Mac let out a sigh of relief, leaning her forehead briefly against the door. The cold nose of Hammer against her leg made her straighten and smile down at the puppy, crouching briefly to ruffle his ears. Glancing up at Jen and Mattie she frowned. The two girls were still standing in place, looking vaguely betrayed. Mac asked cautiously, confused, "What's wrong?"

Jen didn't speak, clearly hesitant about voicing what was bothering her to Mac, even if they were off duty. Mattie, however, had no such compunctions, "I thought you and Clay were over?"

Mac rocked back on her heels then hissed at the sudden pain in her ankle. Straightening slowly she took the weight off her ankle as best she could, still wincing in pain. She made her way to the couch as she spoke, her voice a bit strained, "We are." Settling on the couch in relief she glanced back at the girls. Jen looked slightly reassured but Mattie didn't. Mac sighed in frustration, "We are, I swear. Which is of course exactly why he was here."

The look of betrayal was replaced by one of confusion, "Huh?"

Mac smiled faintly, "I think me almost getting killed made Clay decide he wanted me back. That's why he was here, to ask me back." She shrugged, "I told him no. I'd already asked him to leave three times when you two showed up. Apparently the third time wasn't the charm in this case." She grimaced, wishing he hadn't ever shown up. Seeing him and hearing him talk about Harm had just made Harm's absence hurt even more. And yet again, who do you run to when the one you run to is the reason you need to run to someone? she wondered. Ironic isn't it? "Argh, go away," Mac muttered, not realizing she'd spoken out loud. The voice of reason in her head was really starting to annoy her.

Mattie and Jen, who had finally begun to relax at her explanation tensed up again, looking hurt. Mac glanced at them and cocked her head curiously. It took her a second to figure out what had happened. Groaning, she flopped her head back against the couch, "Did I say that out loud?"

They both nodded and Jen said tentatively, "Yes."

Mac pressed the heel of her hand to her forehead, "Sorry, I didn't mean you. I was talking to the little voice in my head that's trying to drive me insane." They relaxed again and made their way to the couch and chairs, flopping down unceremoniously with smiles. Both were comforted by the fact that the one person they'd felt they could count on to relate to about Harm was not doing what, in their minds, constituted complete betrayal of him. It also helped that she wasn't trying to kick them out.

Jen commented with a grin, "I know how that can be. And the voice is somehow always right, just makes it worse."

Mac laughed, lifting her head again and straightening slightly, "Yeah, it does. So anyways, ice cream?" Mattie grinned and handed her a pint. "Excellent."

Same time

Unknown location, Iraq

"Commander Rabb!" the deep voice was back, only this time it was bellowing at him. "Commander Rabb!" Was that his name? He couldn't quite be sure, he was fairly positive Commander wasn't an actual name though. Or was it? Maybe he just had an odd name? Maybe his parents had found it somewhere and really liked it. Parents? Wait, who were his parents again? Did he have parents? He couldn't remember, the pain overwhelmed him fragmenting his mind and scattering his thoughts.

He felt an impact to his ribs and grunted, trying vainly to move away. The impact came again, this time hitting on an already bruised rib. The pain shot through him and his eyes flew open. He could feel the rib crack under the impact; soon it would join the legion of already broken ones. He struggled to focus, dimly making out the shape of someone looming above him. Who the hell…? he tried to figure out who it was but it eyes wouldn't cooperate.

At least now he could open them both, he dimly registered that it wasn't too long ago when he could only get one open. Or was that a year ago? Ten years? His sense of time was completely skewed. He had no idea how long he'd been here, sometimes it seemed like minutes, other times it felt like decades. Slowly the man above him came into focus. Ah yes, Darth Vader, he thought. He'd given the few people that came to "see" him nicknames in his head, sometimes it was the only thing that kept him mostly sane. This was the first one, the guy who was tall and huge with a voice that sounded like it was coming from somewhere beneath his feet.

Behind him he could barely make out the form of another guy. Blinking he focused, eventually able to make out enough features to recognize him, Oh, its Oliver. The first day he'd seen the guy it was obvious he wanted to be tough like the others but pretty much failed miserably. It'd reminded him of this cat in some movie Mattie had made him watch once though for the life of him he couldn't remember the name. The man he'd dubbed Vader spoke again, "Now that you're paying attention… let's try this again."

Harm closed his eyes, knowing what was coming and steeling himself. He wouldn't answer any questions, it was against his training. Though, he couldn't quite remember exactly which training that was. Maybe it had something to do with the name "Commander"? Another swift kick came, this time to his stomach. Fuck! he screamed mentally, automatically trying to curl into a ball. He would've cried out verbally but he couldn't get the breath. Instead he lay on his side, panting, struggling to get through the pain. But the new kick had been too much, the pain roiled through him and he screwed his eyes closed tightly. He struggled to stay conscious, knowing it would be worse for him later if he didn't but knowing he was going to lose the fight. Mac's gonna kill me, was his last coherent thought, the face of his partner briefly swimming before his eyes as he slipped into unconsciousness.