Finally
Disclaimer: All TLC characters appearing in this fanfic belong to WarnerBros, certainly not me ( except Samand little David, they're my creation). I don't intend to make any profit of their use in my story. I would beterribly proud, if the poem at the end of my fanfic had popped up in my head, yet it's not my writing.
It had been six months now . Six months since the day when Sam had given birth to their first child , David. Hewas a sweet little boy with shining eyes and curly hair framing his rosy face. Whenever his father came intoview, little David would start to shriek and to giggle, knowing that daddy would do funny things with his face and hands to keep him happy. In the evening mommy brought him to bed, soothing him to sleep with a song.They were a perfect little family and Peter should have been the happiest man alive.Yet he was not. Something was missing . Or better to say, somebody. A year ago his father, Kwai Chang Caine,had once more decided to take his leave, again searching for some wisdom Peter did not understand. Since he,too, was Shaolin now, he had hoped Caine would be less cryptic but he was wrong. His father would still notconfide in him, nor did he tell him anything about the destination . As usual, Peter had not heard a single word from him since the day he left, yet he did no longer worry about him, the anger he felt had long ago outweighed his concern. Why was Caine never there when something decisive occurred in his son's life? Hadn't he always wanted grandchildren? So where was he again, now that his wish was fulfilled ?
These questions kept spinning around in Peter's head when, for the first time in months, he stopped by his fathers loft to pick up some dried herbs the ancient required . Already on the way out, he suddenly heard soft, strangely familiar footsteps fall behind him. He whirled around. In the doorway stood no one other than his father, smiling with delight. Obviously , he did not sense his son's dismay for he quickly stepped closer , opening his arms to embrace him . The smile faded when Peter backed away from him, a sad , painful , yet angry expression on his face.
Finally finding his voice, Caine asked, irritated: " What happened, my son ? "
" What happened? You're not serious, are you ? What are you doing here? "
" I just returned from my journey, Peter. The ancient told me you were here, so I came here right away , hoping to find you still here to...", his voice trailed off.
" To do what ? To step back into my life and act as if nothing had happened ? No dad , it sure isn't that easy! I might be Shaolin now but that doesn't mean I can also read your mind. So, tell me, where have you been ?"
" Nowhere, everywhere..." , was the enigmatic answer .
" Fine , and why did it take you one year to return?"
" It was a part of my path that I had to complete."
Peter sighed. His father didn't seem to care in the least . Therefore he said, defeated : " Why did you ever come back ?" and left the apartment.
Outside, Samantha heard a car coming up the driveway. The way how the vehicle came to a sudden halt told her that this could only be her husband. Hearing the door slam shut she braced herself against the upcoming storm. Peter could be calmness in person when it came to their son David, yet every attempt to calm his surging anger was assumed another attack if he was in a mood. The front door slammed shut in affirmation. Setting up her brightest smile, she stepped out into the corridor:
" Hey , darling! The door really meant to let you in, so what gives ? "
" Too funny, Sam! It's not as if I was in the mood for stupid jokes !"( Weren't men predictable ? )
" Ok , Mr. don'tdaretotalktomeorI'lljumprightinyourface , why all these clouds above your head on such a sunny day? Trouble with the authorities ? Simms givin' you a hard time ?"
" If it would only be that... "
Samantha mentally prepared herself for a long struggle. Sometimes it could be damned hard to get something out of Peter, even if he was nearly bursting.
" Then , what else makes you act like the whole world was after you ? "
" Well, guess who decided to bless us ordinary mortals with his presence after one year of abstinence!"
Shit ! She had hoped it would turn out something less complicated. Samantha had witnessed enough encounters between Peter and his father to know that they both had an immense talent to misunderstand each other.
" So... did he tell you where he's been or why ?"
" The same bullshit as usual. Says it was a part of his path he had to complete. You happen to know a place called " everywhere-nowhere" ? That's where he's been!"
Right! She had forgotten. Caine's vague , enigmatic answers used to increase Peter's fury rather than to diminish it. After all she slowly came to think that Caine found it extremely amusing to give his son a hard time understanding him.
" But, you wanna know what's worse ? He did not even care to ask about his grandson. Not exactly interested, I 'd say!"
" Did you ever tell him I was pregnant ?"
" No, he was already out on the road by the time we found out. Still, Sam, he must've known! He always knows!"
" You sure, honey? Won't you at least go back and tell him? Maybe he really doesn't know?"
" No way ! That's the last thing I'm gonna do!"
When was the last time Peter had called Caine Mr. Stubborn ?
" Oh, come on ,Peter ! It's not like your father was constantly searching for reasons to hurt you! He for sure didn't mean to..."
" Yeah, I know! He never does. Yet he keeps on kicking my ass so I'm down again ! His " good intentions" don't make things better!"
" But..."
" Give it up, Sam, it's useless, you know that!"
With these words he rushed up the stairs.
"I can sense that you are troubled , Kwai Chang Caine. What disturbs you ?"
" It is about Peter. I was hoping that you could enlighten me as to the reason for my son's anger. Since the day I returned he has not spoken to me. Whenever I try to reach him , he is either out for an investigation or not at home. Samantha told me he does not want to see me. "
" And you can not think of anything that might justify his actions, my friend ?"
" No. that is why I have come for your advice, master!"
" Then hear my advice: Listen . Not only with your ears , but with your heart and mind! " As if to end the conversation, Lo Si turned toward the kitchen. Caine followed him, for once not satisfied with the answers he had been given.
" Master, I do not wish to appear disrespectful , yet I must ask you to tell me what you are hiding so well. I truly need to know! "
The Ancient turned sharply. His usual calm self held a sudden hint of agitation. " I am ashamed of you, Kwai Chang Caine. Thus far, I have always accepted the reasons for your travelling, I have always found a way to explain your absence to your son and friends, even if it meant to lie to these people! This time I will not do so, I cannot ! You have a grandson, Kwai Chang Caine! That is why Peter is not willing to talk to you. He is disappointed for he wished you to be there for so unique an event. "
Caine was taken aback. He had expected anything, anything at all but this: " But why did he not tell me? Does he truly believe that I care for him so little ? "
" No, my friend. Your son loves you and he knows how you feel about him but you may not expect him to endure more than you yourself could bear. " Upon seeing Caine's expression, he added: " Go ahead, talk to him. Believe me, he is waiting for you to take the first step. "
CaineI stand in the doorway , again watching him. Deep in thought, Peter does not perceive my presence. He is standing by his son's bed, watching him sleep in the same way I did when he was small and unburdened. Now, he is no longer my small son, long ago he had to face life in all its facets , both dark and shining. He has suffered . Today, I have learned yet once more , that many of the scars on his young soul have been inflicted by me, be it through those fifteen years apart from me or through my constant absence in times of need. Finally , my son turns to face me, his face holds no expression.
" Will you go on staring at my back or will you tell me what you're here for ?" He is still angry and still he will not forgive me .
Therefore I say: " I have come to tell you how very sorry I am. I was wrong. For many years I believed that nothing should keep me from following whatever my path would be. I have been searching for it, yet I have not found it to this very day. You know that I have no excuse for what I did to you. The only proof I have is my love for you. " Not waiting for my son's reaction, I turn and silently leave . With any luck , Peter will accept my clumsy attempt to express my regret .
He hesitated for a moment, then Peter dashed out of the house. Squeezing through the crowded street he pushed through to his father. Caine's words had revealed how much he regretted having failed Peter again. Yet they made him feel guilty. He knew he had really stumped Caine this time but had his words also disturbed him so deeply? Slowly, Peter reached out to grab Caine's shoulder. His father stopped but did not turn. Therefore Peter spoke to his back:
" Dad , please wait. You do not have to run away like a sorrowfilled sinner. You are too honourable a man . But, you know, I'm somewhat running out of ways to make you realise that there is a place for you to settle down. You are needed here ! Your friends need you... I need you! And... I would like my son to have a grandfather..."
When Caine still didn't move he added: "Father, I did not wish to hurt you! I love you very much, no matter what! It just hurt me so that you were not there for the birth of your first grandchild. Dad..." , he urged, very gently. Slowly, Caine turned and Peter folded him into his arms. Finally, he pushed back, looping one arm around his dad's shoulders and said: " Come on, dad , let's go back . I would like to introduce you to somebody..."
Peter
Back at my place, I make Pop wait outside my son's room. Carrying David in my arms, I return a minute later." And now, Davie, say hi to your world-famous grandfather, Kwai Chang Caine!" My father gives me the "look" that would make me run when I was a kid and I know everything's alright again.
Caine
Peter lays his small son into my arms. As I look into his tiny face I am reminded of the moment when I first saw my new-born son. He is his image. The same bright , shining eyes, the same curly hair. I am happy beyond measure and I feel a love for both my son and my grandson that no words can describe. And again I am reminded of my own foolishness for I have a son who treats me with love and respect, I have friends who value my presence, I have a wonderful grandson and therefore all I'll ever need. Yet I would walk out of their lives into loneliness. Now, I no longer feel the urge to move on and this realisation fills me with a deeper sense of peace than I have ever experienced before. I have found my path.
End
Hold fast to dreams
For when dreams die
Life is a broken-winged bird
that cannot fly.
Hold fast to dreams
For when dreams go
Life is a barren field
Frozen with snow.
( Longsten Hughes )
So? What d'you think? would be grateful for reviews of every kind, best would of course be some critical
remarks! It's my first fanfic and really depend on your opinions so I get the courage to go on writing...