Disclaimer: None of the JAG characters are mine, they belong to Donald Bellisario and CBS and whatnot.

So I apologize for the lack of updates this weekend and the end of last week, real life kinda stepped in. Well real life and Star Wars (yay Revenge of the Sith!). As a result here's an update and I'm hoping to get another written and posted later tonight before I sleep (after all what else am I supposed to do at meetings? pay attention:-P) Also, I was thinking about some stuff while I cleaned my room (you find all sorts of weird things when you finally get stuff off the floor I discovered) and decided I should start doing a bit more than just spout out a generic "thanks for reviewing" so here goes:

Thanks to Stevie, Laurie2, chantelmac, MichelleLee, Beach chickJASSNL, BelleDayNight, Radiorox, Apion, snugglebug, Sunset, cbw, TomcatGM, freazeover, froggy0139, s-schmidig, SailorGirl97, hardluckmarine, starryeyes10, jaggurl, jaka, marineJAG, Tina Frank, mjag, zielfanaat, LiseGirardi, KMSOrligirl, martini1988, mara-rabb, Fic-Chic, princessmai, and anyone else I missed (hopefully I didn't miss any)! Also, based on the more recent reviews I seem to need to clear a few things up. First of all, trust me, I'm not going to kill him (my roomie's the nutcase who kills off characters :-P). Second, he doesn't have amnesia, more like he's blocked out most of his memories to protect himself as well as the pain from his broken ribs kinda messing up his thought processes (which is not to say he won't have issues with some of it later). Sorry if that was unclear, I'll explain it better in the next chapter of the story, I promise! So, on with the story! Read, review, and above all enjoy!

Monday

Mac's Apartment

1100 ZULU

Mac woke with a start, eyes flying open. Her heart was pounding and she could feel the goose bumps across her body. Rapidly she scanned the room, struggling to control her breathing and slow her heart. When she'd woken up her hand had automatically begun searching for the handgun kept hidden nearby. She forced herself to stop searching and instead wrapped her arms around her legs, carefully pulling her knees up to her chest.

She knew what had woken her though her mind was trying its best to shy from the nightmare. Taking a deep breath Mac closed her eyes, consciously slowing her breathing. Feeling calmer she opened her eyes, glancing briefly at the clock on the nightstand. 0600, lovely, she sighed to herself, resting her chin on her knees. Silently she studied the dark room, her eyes eventually coming to rest on the dark form of the animal sprawled at the end of her bed.

With a start she realized the puppy was awake and looking at her. His blue eyes reflected the dim light coming through the blinds as he peered at her curiously. Forcing a smile Mac murmured, "Go back to sleep, Hammer." He blinked then stood, padding quietly towards her. Flopping back down next to her he closed his eyes, content to resume sleep. Gently Mac petted the dog, seeking comfort in his presence. Bits of her nightmare still ran through her mind, no, not a nightmare, memories.

Mac ran her hand through her hair, shoving it back from her face. She dropped her chin back down, staring blankly at the closed door, left hand resting lightly on Hammer's side. She had managed to avoid most of Mattie and Jen's questions over the weekend, after her first narrative about the captivity they had only asked a couple more times for details. She couldn't bring herself to be weak in front of them. So she'd avoided the questions, refusing to speak about anything beyond what she had already said.

Unfortunately, refusing to speak out loud didn't prevent the memories from coming back. She been tempted, very tempted to get a drink. But every time the thought crossed her mind she would see something of Hammer's, a toy, his food dish, his leash, or even the puppy himself. The sight served to forcibly remind her of Harm and her next thought would inevitably be, He would be so disappointed. It scared her how much that simple thought could affect her. She'd spent so many years denying her feelings and yet he still held the most influence over her actions and thoughts. Ironic, isn't it? She laughed mentally. It scared her how easily a thought of him could simply erase any desire to do something he wouldn't approve of. Halfway around the world from him and she still tried her best to keep from disappointing him. And yet, she could no longer quite comprehend a life where that fact didn't hold true.

Mac turned her head, pillowing her check on her knee as she stared at the window. She couldn't stop her eyes from drifting closed though she tried desperately to stay awake. She knew what lurked behind the curtain of sleep and didn't want to face it again. Yet try as she might she slowly slipped back into sleep, the nightmare crashing over her once more.

"Maybe now you will speak, Commander?"

Harm glared at his captor, blue eyes flashing, "Never." He seemed oblivious to the bruises they were inflicting; punches to the ribs didn't outwardly faze him. Carefully he kept his gaze from drifting to Mac. She watched him, straining against the ropes binding her wrists and trying to subtly move away from the man gripping her arm. But it didn't work.

The man who'd been interrogating Harm turned away. She met his gaze defiantly, standing as straight as possible. Now it was her turn to avoid looking at her partner. The man grinned coldly, at her and she tried not to flinch, "Or perhaps you will, Colonel?"

Mac glared back, stubbornly refusing to answer. The man glanced from her to Harm, his smile becoming colder. Mac shivered and suddenly she knew what he was going to do. She tried to speak but found herself unable to move. Her eyes flew to Harm who was gazing steadily back at her. She couldn't tear her eyes away from his, trying to convey more than she could say and being terrified that he couldn't understand. She struggled harder to get free but it was in vain.

Out of the corner of her eye she saw the man's fist cock back. "Harm!" she screamed just his fist flew forward, connecting sharply with Harm's temple. Her mind fought against what she was seeing. She couldn't think, just watch as his body slowly toppled forward. She half registered the turning back towards her, but she couldn't see anything except Harm's still form, unmoving, even to breathe…

"Harm!" Mac jerked awake, nearly falling off the bed as her body tried to bolt upright. For a long moment she didn't know where she was, struggling with the sheets in a desperate attempt to get free. In the corner of her eyes she saw a dark form move and with a half-suppressed yell she tumbled off the bed. The impact with the floor jolted her fully awake.

She sat on the floor, gripping the blanket that had followed her down and struggled to breath. She couldn't get the images out of her head despite her mind telling her it wasn't happening, that it was over. Intellectually she knew all that Harm hadn't died that day; he'd simply been knocked out in an attempt to get her to speak. But her fear for Harm was conjuring up all sorts of increasingly terrifying scenarios, this being only the most recent and somewhat tame all things considered. Sighing Mac pressed the heel of her hand to her forehead, half wishing she could just push the nightmares out of her mind.

She heard a soft yip and jumped, her already racing heart speeding up even more. She dropped her hand, reaching for her gun for the second time in one night. She'd just wrapped her hand around the grip when the meaning of the sound registered. Letting out a slow breath she scanned the room for the puppy, locating him after a moment peeking over the tangle of blankets on the bed. Releasing the gun again she scooted forward and picked him up. Turning, Mac rested her back against the bed, cradling Hammer in her arms and trying desperately to get her emotions and heart beat under control.

Hammer curled up against her chest, resting his chin on her forearm. He certainly had no idea what was going on but was content to be in his mistress' arms. Slowly she won the struggle with her emotions, eventually managing to rein them back to a manageable level. As she fought down the fear her heart rate and breathing gradually slowed to a more normal rate. After a few moments Mac had herself mostly under control though she felt far from calm. Glancing at the clock she realized she'd been asleep longer than she thought as it now read 0713.

Scrubbing a hand across her face she rose, setting Hammer on the floor. The puppy looked at her reproachfully, clearly not appreciating being moved from his place. With a tired chuckle she patted him on the head once more, murmuring, "Sorry buddy but I gotta get a shower or I'll pass out on my feet." Straightening Mac headed for the dresser, snagging sweatpants and a tank top on her way to the bathroom. Twenty minutes later she'd showered and dressed. Feeling more awake and collected than before, she hobbled to the kitchen barefoot turning on the coffee maker before heading back to the bedroom.

Wandering back to the bedroom she sat down to pull on socks and shoes, laughing softly as Hammer promptly plopped into her lap. The look he gave her spoke volumes, you're on the floor, pet me. Grinning she scratched his ears before picking him up and setting him next to her. He looked rather disgruntled at once more being moved. Chuckling again Mac scooped him up in one arm as she stood, using the other to brace her weight on the crutch. Another ten minutes and she was on her way out the door, puppy in tow on his leash. Though she couldn't go for a run she certainly had no intention of sitting around the apartment all morning.

Mac stepped off the elevator, sighing tiredly. She hadn't really walked a whole lot at the park, mostly sat on a bench but somehow she was exhausted. Maybe because you didn't sleep much last night, the voice of reason pointed out. Muttering to herself she mentally batted away the voice even if it was right. She glanced at her door and exhaled in annoyance. "Déjà vu," she grumbled, spotting Clayton Webb lurking outside her apartment once more. She'd barely spoken when Hammer spotted the man, promptly barking at him.

Mac smiled faintly, amused by his antics. Well he certainly doesn't like Clay, can't say as I blame him, she thought, half tempted to speak the words out loud but she refrained. Unlike Saturday she didn't even bother trying to silence the dog, simply hobbling to her door. She saw him look at her expectantly though he eyed the puppy thoughtfully. Mac didn't bother speaking to him, simply opening her apartment door and stepping inside, Hammer at her heels, still letting out yips at the man.

She unhooked the leash and made her way to the kitchen to grab more coffee and feed Hammer. Clay followed her inside, somewhat unnerved by her silence. Mac glanced at him as she set Hammer's food down, absently petting the puppy on the head as he bounded over. Not bothering to hide her irritation she asked pointedly as she moved to grab her coffee, "What do you want, Clay?"

He tried a smile though it faded quickly when she didn't return it, "I just want to talk, Sarah."

"About?" She arched an eyebrow at him, daring him to come up with a better topic than he had on Saturday. He didn't answer immediately and Mac simply gazed at him blandly over the rim of her coffee mug, leaning on the counter to take some weight off her foot. When he still didn't answer she asked again, her voice a little sharper, "About what?"

Finally he answered, speaking as if it were the most obvious thing in the world, "I want to talk about us, Sarah."

Mac barely managed to prevent herself from groaning, or tearing his head off, she wasn't quite sure which was more preferable at this point. After regaining control of herself she stated firmly, "We discussed this Saturday, the answer hasn't changed."

"No, you…" he was cut off by a knock on the door.

This time Mac did groan, "Who the hell could be at the door at 0915?" With an irritated frown she set down her mug and grabbed her crutches, using both this time as her ankle was seriously starting to bother her. Clay moved as if to offer aid but stopped at her glare. He sighed, annoyed at her insistence on doing things her way but he didn't particularly feel like a fight at the moment. Mac glanced through the peephole and froze briefly before biting out in clear annoyance, "What is it, asshole day?"

Clay's head jerked up a bit at that comment, frowning deeply. He bit back his comment however, curiosity about who was at the door overriding his need to protect his pride. Mac fumbled with the door a bit, muttering to herself about the annoyance of crutches. After a brief moment she managed to jerk it open, schooling her expression to gaze emotionlessly at the man on the other side, "Lieutenant, this is a surprise."