Disclaimer: Nope, don't belong to me, wish they did.
Ugh, so despite my best efforts I still couldn't get this updated sooner. Though I have finally finished all my schoolwork. Just have one final next Wednesday then I'm DONE! So theoretically this will mean I will have more time to write and therefore will get -all- my stories updated more frequently. Exciting thought isn't it? So again, I apologize for the delay. Hopefully it won't happen again unless I hit writer's block again, which incidentally is part of what delayed this chapter.
About reviews. All I can say is wow... you guys really make my day... week... month... with those. I really really appreciate them. Honestly I have a hard time believing so many people like my stuff, it's a weird thought. So thanks to minorcadence, SailorGirl, jaka, Dutchgirl, froggy, jag lover, dansingwolf, zeilfanaat, snugglebug, To lazy to log in, martini, CabbyMcCab, mjag, starryeyes, Laurie, TomcatGM, Radiorox, eridani, shirik, JJScottishGirl, Brittany, Beach chick, and anyone else I missed! And thanks to everyone that's reading and isn't on that list. Hope you enjoy the chapter! Now for sleep before getting up at 4 am for MEPS (the military owns my soul now... and they are taking advantage of it to make me get up at ungodly hours)
Mac sighed softly, gazing down at her partner who hadn't moved since that terrifying episode right after he'd woken up. He'd been sleeping peacefully for over half an hour but she hadn't left his side. The doctor hadn't believed it, he'd been certain the Commander was a goner. But after that Harm's heartbeat and blood pressure had remained steady if a tad lower than normal. Mac knew he wouldn't die now, not without a fight at least.
That had been what scared her most, his simple acceptance. One moment he'd been coherent and conscious the next he'd just drifted away. He hadn't fought it, just let it happen. It ripped at her soul to realize just how bad off he was that even Harmon Rabb wouldn't fight death. And she'd been weak with relief and gratitude that he hadn't succumbed after all. But it had been close, so close. She could still hear the words of Doctor Williams echoing in her mind "We're going to lose him!" She shuddered, Mac never wanted to hear those words again. And then the defibrillator, the doctor just a hairs breadth away from using it before his heart had suddenly kicked back in.
Williams couldn't fathom it. So he'd simply shaken his head and left the Colonel with the Commander after giving clear directions on how to contact them if anything were to happen. He'd paused at the door, where Mac couldn't see him. He noticed that the Colonel was still gripping the Commander's hand, her head having fallen forward slightly with a tearful smile on her face. And he saw the faintest of smiles that curved the Commander's lips though most observers would swear there was nothing there. That tiny slice of time, the perfect picture, would be forever etched in his mind. Deep inside he knew the Commander would now make it, simply because she was at his side. And so he'd smiled tenderly at the couple before slipping out of the room, shutting the door silently behind him.
Mac checked her internal clock, noting that it was now 1000 ZULU. Which meant it was still too early to call the General. She was grateful for that, not particularly wanting to face his certain ire just yet. Her gaze drifted to where her hand still remained entwined with Harm's. For a long moment she studied the sight, slowly coming to realize just how right it was. She looked back up at his face, a slight smile quirking her lips. He loved her; it made her heart light just to think of it. Yes, they needed to talk; boy did they need to talk. But now everything seemed so much less insurmountable.
Carefully she disentangled her hand from his. Brushing her fingertips lightly over the cut on his forehead then down his cheek she stood. Though she couldn't call the States just yet, she could inform Gunny and Captain Ingles of Harm's status. Picking up the crutches she slipped out the door, waving to the nearby nurse. When the nurse approached she asked quietly, automatically lowering her voice despite the fact that Harm more than likely couldn't hear her, "Can you get someone to watch the Commander for a little bit? I have to make some phone calls and I don't want him left alone."
The nurse nodded with a smile. The story of how the Naval Commander had suddenly bounced back from certain death due primarily to the presence of a Marine Colonel had traveled quickly. She thought it was terribly romantic. Waving over another nurse they quickly set up a system for someone to watch Harm at all times until Mac could return. Smiling gratefully at the two nurses Mac turned, heading for the elevator. She'd only taken a few steps when Webb appeared seemingly from nowhere. Sighing she kept walking. She'd forgotten he was there.
Falling in beside her he put on his best smile, "Sarah how's Harm?"
She glanced briefly at him as she pushed the down button. Her answer was brief and clipped, "He's fine at the moment."
"Great! What's the diagnosis?" He was still smiling, trying his best to sound sincere though after hearing that Harm was ok he didn't much care. But he knew Mac cared and so he made sure he asked what he thought were the right questions. After all, who cared exactly what was wrong with someone if the person was going to live? He just figured said person should be grateful enough to be rescued. And the person's friends should be grateful too, especially if they were going to be fine. Right?
She arched an eyebrow slightly but answered anyways, "They don't know, he's going to be in ICU for a while."
"Ah," Clay pondered that for a moment. Well ok, maybe that wasn't so great and people should be concerned. But didn't a person's chances increase with every moment or something like that? "What do you think?"
She averted her gaze, opting instead to stare at the elevator doors, willing them to open. Coming to the conclusion that they weren't going to conveniently open at the moment she replied, "I don't know."
"You must have some opinion on it, Sarah."
Mac looked back at him with a frown. Her tone when she spoke clearly indicated she didn't wish to discuss the topic further, "I am not a doctor, Clay. I don't know."
He sighed, figures. "Sarah…" he began, fortunately the elevator chose that moment to open. Well, it was unfortunate from his point of view but Mac was rather grateful. Stepping inside she grimaced slightly when Webb followed her. Luckily there were a few other people already inside, keeping Webb from continuing. What he wanted to talk about didn't really lend itself well to an audience.
Once they reached the floor Mac made a beeline for the hospital doors, flashing a brief smile at the young seaman who held the door for her. Outside she flipped open her cell, thinking for a moment before dialing the number that would connect her to the Marine base. Clay frowned irritably but waited silently, not wanting to interrupt her while she was on the phone, knowing that would only piss her off more.
He glanced around the parking lot in feigned interest, half listening to her murmured conversations with first Gunny then Captain Ingles. When she was done he flashed a smile, "So, how is everyone?"
"Fine."
"Good good, I take it they were pleased to hear about Harm?"
She eyed him warily, nodding slowly, "Yes."
"And Gunny's men?"
"How'd you know about that?" He arched an eyebrow, looking vaguely offended. She sighed and looked away, "Of course you know, why should I think differently?"
"Exactly. Have you talked to the General yet?"
"Clay, it's not even 0530 in Falls Church."
"Oh, right," he sighed, "Sarah, can we please talk?"
"Talk? Haven't we done that enough recently?"
"No because you won't actually participate!" Clay ignored the strange looks they were getting from passersby.
Mac's eyes glinted dangerously; she didn't appreciate being yelled at. Her voice was cold, "I participated; you just won't accept my answer." She turned to reenter the hospital, intending to return to Harm's side. Clay reached out and grabbed her arm. Without thinking she turned back around, striking out instinctively. Her right hand connected solidly with the side of his face.
His eyes widened and he instantly released her arm, reaching up to touch the side of his face. He stared at her in utter shock. "What..?"
Mac glowered at him, absolutely furious. Quietly she growled, "Don't touch me again."
"Sarah… Mac…" he stepped forward, reaching towards her again.
She stepped back, her expression indicating that she wouldn't hesitate to hit him again if he didn't do as she asked. Neither of them had noticed the MP that was driving by with the window down when Clay had initially yelled at her. But he'd seen and heard enough to recognize the situation. Calmly he stepped up, speaking smoothly, "Sir, I'm going to have to ask you to come with me."
Clay blinked, "Excuse me?" His jaw and pride were still smarting from the strike and he was fairly certain he would have a bruise.
"Sir, you need to come with me." The MP looked at Mac, "I'm sorry I didn't arrive sooner, ma'am."
She sighed in relief and shook her head slightly, "It's not your fault, petty officer; just take him away, please."
"Of course, ma'am." He turned back to Clay, "This way, please." He gestured towards his right, indicating his car which was waiting where he'd stopped immediately upon seeing the situation.
"Why? What are you going to charge me with?"
"Attempted assault and, if you don't come with me in the next five seconds, resisting arrest."
"Assault! She hit me!"
"Self-defense, sir. Now, please, come with me peacefully."
Clay looked from the MP to Mac, incredulous, "Sarah?" She gazed back stoically. Growling in anger Clay took a step forward, momentarily forgetting the presence of the not-so-small Marine. He'd barely moved five inches when he found his arms clamped firmly to his sides. Looking around in surprise he found a very angry Naval MP not two inches from his face. Slowly he peered around the area suddenly realizing he was surrounded by a small crown of spectators, all in uniform and all looking extremely displeased. Clayton Webb finally realized that he was in big trouble now. He found himself being forcibly escorted to the waiting car, another seaman and a marine falling in beside him, intent on helping the MP keep him in line.
Once the CIA agent was in the car the MP thanked the two other men then returned to Mac, "I'm very sorry about that, ma'am. I got here as quickly as I could. No excuse, I know but…"
"Don't worry about it; it's not your fault." Mac smiled, "Thank you for the help, sergeant."
"Anytime, ma'am. Would you be able to come down to headquarters later to give a statement?"
She shook her head, "Not today, I need to be here with a patient who's been charged to my care."
"Of course, ma'am. I'll send another MP back to interview you here then. Would you be willing to fill out the paperwork later today also, ma'am?"
"Certainly, just send them up; I'll be in the waiting area outside ICU."
"Aye, aye, ma'am." He snapped to attention and saluted. Mac returned it then watched as he got in his car and drove off.
A Navy Commander approached, "We're sorry that happened, Colonel. We saw it but none of us realized what was going on until it was too late."
"Thanks for the sentiment, Commander."
"Are you alright? Can I or any of us get you anything?"
"I'm fine, but thank you," she smiled gratefully. "Besides, I had it under control."
The Commander chuckled, "That you did, Colonel. But still, if there's anything any of us can do, let us know."
She nodded slightly, "Thank you."
"Anytime," with a nod and another smile the man left. The rest of the small group did the same. Mac stood staring off across the parking lot, trying to digest what had just happened. She was more surprised by the support than by Clay's actions. Odd, isn't it? she mused. And how appropriate somehow that a Commander is the one to offer the help. With a smile her mind drifted to another Commander, currently resting upstairs in an ICU room, hopefully on the road to recovery.
She'd turned again to enter the hospital when her cell rang. Frowning she flipped it open, "MacKenzie."
"Colonel."
Mac swallowed, "General."
"I hear you found Commander Rabb."
"Yes, sir."
"And how is the Commander?"
"He got out of surgery about an hour ago, sir. He's in ICU now."
"I see, what are the doctor's saying?"
"Too soon to tell, sir, but they're cautiously optimistic. He's stable though still listed as critical. They're hoping to upgrade his condition by tomorrow provided everything goes well."
"Excellent." Cresswell paused. "I hear also that you were part of the team that found him."
Mac sighed inaudibly, here it came. Calmly she replied, steeling herself for the certain charges to come, "Yes, sir."
"I see. I'm fairly certain your orders were to not leave the base unless absolutely necessary and to not do anything strenuous due to your injuries. Unless I am mistaken."
"No, sir, you're not."
"So you disobeyed orders."
Mac smiled tightly, "Not technically."
"Oh? Do tell, Colonel?"
She could hear the tightness in his voice; he was definitely pissed with her. Yet there was something else there that hinted that he might not crush her then reassign her to Iceland. After a brief moment to organize her thoughts she explained carefully, "Well sir, I felt, as I had previously explained to you, that finding Harm was absolutely necessary to me. As such I left the base; I needed to be part of the team."
"I see… and the strenuous activity?"
"I didn't do anything strenuous. I stayed in the humvee the entire time until the marines had cleared the area and given the all clear. Only then did I leave the vehicle and then only to walk the twenty feet from the humvee to the building then back."
"So your argument is that it was absolutely necessary to leave the base and in doing so you did nothing more strenuous than ride in a humvee?"
"And shoot a pistol, yes, sir."
"Shoot a pistol?"
"I was armed, sir. And they were attacking us."
"And how is that not strenuous?"
"I was standing in one place and leaning against the top of the windshield for support, sir. The activity didn't involve my ribs or my leg."
He heaved a sigh, "Remind me never to let the prosecution have you in a case against me."
Mac smiled faintly, "Yes, sir."
"Very well, seeing as this doesn't "technically" violate orders as you have so eloquently explained, I am not going to request an Article 32 or court-martial. However, you will be receiving a letter of reprimand which will go in your file and half pay for two weeks."
"Yes, sir," Mac let out a slow breath of relief.
"And Colonel… if you ever do anything like that again I will personally feed you to the lions."
"Yes, sir!"
"Keep me updated on the Commander's condition." Without waiting for an answer the General hung up. Mac stared at the phone for a moment before hitting the end button. Well that had gone better than expected. At least she still had her job. Sighing she turned the phone off once more before entering the hospital. On the upside, she would no longer have to worry about Clay lurking around outside Harm's hospital room.
NSA Naples
US Naval Hospital
Tuesday
0600 ZULU
Mac was curled up in the chair by Harm's bed as well as she was able to with her injuries. The doctor had left about twenty minutes prior and she was now dozing, keeping her constant vigil on her partner. It amused her that they'd brought in a more comfortable chair for her. So far they'd only asked once for her to leave the room. She'd agreed that one time and had wandered off to eat and make some calls. It had been barely an hour later when a doctor had come looking for her, slightly frantic, requesting her presence back in Harm's room.
Mac had learned later that when she'd been gone for over 45 minutes Harm had become agitated and wouldn't calm down. Since then they had discovered that any absence beyond 30-45 minutes would result in Harm becoming restless. And so they'd grudgingly conceded to let her remain despite normal rules otherwise. The doctor had come to the conclusion that her presence was the only thing keeping him somewhat calm and enforcing visiting restrictions would only be detrimental to his patient. Mac wasn't quite sure what to make of the situation but she wasn't going to argue. While her presence calmed Harm, being in his room with him kept her calm.
He'd been unconscious for the most part, only waking up a few times. Even then he'd been mostly asleep, dropping immediately back into unconsciousness when she spoke to him. She left out a soft sigh, studying him. The bruise across his jaw was slowly fading and the cut over his eye was healing. They'd discovered that he had a few loose teeth and one missing entirely; fortunately it was nothing some dental work couldn't fix. The rest of him was another matter completely, however.
Doctor Williams eyed Mac for a moment before asking softly, "Are you sure you want to know?"
She nodded firmly, fixing him with a glare, "Tell me, I want to know what's wrong with him."
Williams sighed, rubbing the bridge of his nose; she had to be one of the most stubborn women he'd ever met. Finally he began to recite, keeping an eye on Mac to see whether he should stop, "His right forearm is broken in two places, right elbow also broken. Right shoulder was dislocated. Left shoulder was wrenched though never dislocated, left wrist is fractured. His right knee is broken as is his lower right leg. Left ankle is also broken in two places. Fourteen broken ribs, six cracked ribs, the remaining six are bruised. As you can see his jaw is bruised. He also has several bruised internal organs though fortunately no internal bleeding or lacerations. Externally is another matter. Various cuts, bruises, lacerations, scrapes, you name it. He also has a concussion."
Mac closed her eyes during the recitation, paling as the catalog of injuries went on and on. When he'd finally stopped she reopened her eyes, gazing sorrowfully at Harm as she asked softly, "Anything else?"
"Not that we can tell though more than likely there will be psychological side effects as well. But we won't know to what extent until he wakes up for longer than a couple seconds." He paused before adding, in a voice even quieter than before, "By all rights he should have been dead long ago, and he should have died that time right after you arrived."
Mac raised her head to look at the Doctor, tears forming in her eyes though they didn't fall. She replied in a voice just barely loud enough to be heard, "I know."
Dropping her head slightly she closed her eyes tightly at the memory. The list of injuries played in her mind, and the longer he stayed asleep the more scared she became. Intellectually she knew that the sleep was good for him, that the stress and drugs would keep him out of it for a long while. That didn't stop her from wishing he'd wake up, just for a little bit. At least he was now out of ICU and in a private room. His condition was currently listed as serious but stable, though those words weren't very comforting to her.
Softly she murmured, eyes still closed, "We really got ourselves in deep this time, didn't we, sailor?"
"yeah… we did…" came the barely audible response.
Mac's head jerked up, her eyes flying wide open. Shocked she met the sleepy gaze of her partner. He looked vaguely confused yet pleased to see her. As she processed the fact that he was awake a delighted grin spread across her face. Softly she said, "Hey."
"Hi," his lips curved ever so slightly in an attempted smile. She could tell it pained him to try yet she felt ecstatic that he would even try.
"How do you feel?" without thinking she reached out to gently squeeze his hand.
Seeing the slightly startled look in his eyes she immediately began to withdraw her hand but stopped when he spoke again. "No, don't." She hesitated for a moment before letting her hand settle back on his. He smiled again, this time just a tiny bit wider than before. His eyes were slowly losing the dazed look as he woke up. After a moment he answered her question though his voice was still barely above a whisper, "Like hell."
She frowned slightly, her eyes reflecting her sorrow for him. Edging slightly closer she murmured, "I'm so sorry."
"Not your fault."
"Yes, it is. I should have gotten you out, should have found you sooner, should have…"
"Sarah."
She froze in mid-sentence at the sound of her name. Slowly she dragged her gaze back to his. His vision had cleared, his gaze latching firmly on hers. Once he was certain he had her full attention he murmured as firmly as he was able, "It's not your fault."
Mac had opened her mouth to reply when she saw the glint in his eyes. Sighing mentally she chose not to contest him for the moment, not wanting to agitate him. Instead she asked, "What do you remember?"
He frowned slightly then winced at the pain in his jaw. Slowly he answered, averting his gaze, "I…" Pain. A fist coming towards his face. Falling. Stabbing pain in his side. The feel of ribs cracking under the toe of a boot. Loss. Yelling, screaming. Despair. "I…"
Mac watched the emotions flicker across his face and instinctively laid her free hand against his cheek. She whispered, trying not to startle him, "Forget it, Harm. We can worry about it later." He finally looked back at her and she could read the gratitude in his eyes. Mentally she cursed herself for asking him so soon. Slowly he glanced around the room, wincing each time he moved his head. Frowning, Mac dropped her hand to his shoulder, "Hey, don't strain yourself."
"Where are we?"
"Naples, at the Naval Hospital."
He looked back at her, brow furrowed slightly in puzzlement, "Why?"
She looked at him in confusion, "Because you were injured and it was the closest Naval Hospital that wasn't in the war zone."
"But why a naval hospital?"
"What do you…" she began; then it hit her. "You don't remember," she breathed.
He tried to shrug and groaned as he moved his previously dislocated shoulder. Gently she pressed down on his shoulder, silently telling him to stay still. Harm subsided immediately. His voice was tinged with frustration, "Some. Not enough."
"How much?" she forgot her earlier decision not to push him about his memories. Of course, that had been before she'd realized he had forgotten more than just what happened during his captivity.
He half smiled, "You."
For the second time in barely five minutes Mac froze. She simply stared at him, unable to tear her eyes away and unable to speak. Her brain seemed to have shut down, she couldn't think. Her right hand was still wrapped around his and distantly she felt his fingers tighten on hers. The action brought her back to the present. Slowly she asked, her voice even softer than before, "What?"
Harm looked away for a moment before meeting her gaze again, the slight smile still in place, "I remembered you. Most of the rest is a blur, but you I remember clearly." She felt tears threaten for what felt like the billionth time in the past few days. The smile on his face faded; his expression suddenly dead serious. He didn't get a chance to speak, however, as the nurse chose that moment to enter. Mac jumped slightly when she heard the door close, her head snapping to the side. She forced herself to relax when she felt Harm tense up also. Looking back down at him she smiled reassuringly, squeezing his fingers gently.
Beneath her left hand she felt his muscles slowly relax. The nurse didn't notice any of this, instead smiling cheerfully as she moved to the other side of Harm's bed. Her voice was chipper and overwhelmingly happy. Inwardly Mac cringed at hearing it, she couldn't imagine Harm was terribly thrilled with the tone either. "Ah Commander! You're awake, how lovely! How do you feel? Not too well I'd guess. And your friend is here to see you, isn't that nice? Doctor Williams will be so happy to know you're awake! I'm sure your friend here is happy also. You gave us all quite a scare there, trying to die like that. Well you have a nice visit and I'll send the doctor in."
With that she was gone, not having stopped her chatter the entire time she was in the room. Mac blinked after the cheerful woman, her head still spinning from the incessant happiness and constant talk. After a moment she looked back down at Harm who was also staring at the door with an expression somewhere between horror and confusion on his face. Chuckling softly at the look on his face Mac leaned back in her chair slightly. He shifted his gaze to hers. Her laughter faded at the look of panic in his eyes. Leaning forward again she asked softly, "What?" feeling a vague sense of panic herself.
"Trying to die?" he was hardly able to form the words, his voice shaking slightly. Mentally Mac cursed the nurse for mentioning that. She didn't answer for a long moment, causing the panic in Harm's eyes to escalate slightly. His voice was no louder than before but she could sense the urgency in it, "Mac?"
"Sorry," she flashed a slight smile but he could see it didn't reach her eyes.
He spoke as firmly as he was able; needing to hear what she had to say. He knew that the event was important and something inside him knew that it was vital to helping him. "Tell me."
She sighed and began to recount softly, trying to distant herself as much as possible from the memory, "Just after they brought you in to ICU you uh… almost died. The doctor still isn't sure why you didn't." She didn't bother to try and sugar coat the situation, or hide something from him. She knew there would be no point.
Harm let his eyes drift closed, feeling the memories wash over him. He remembered the darkness, and the voice that called him until he came back. And he remembered his promise. Suddenly his eyes flew open and he stared at her in what almost seemed to be embarrassment. She frowned slightly, cocking her head curiously. But she didn't speak, waiting for him to find the words. She'd seen the expressions flit across his face, could sense that he remembered the incident now. Finally he whispered, staring down at her hand on his, "What did I say to you?"
"What? When?"
"When I woke up. Right before I almost died."
Her breath caught in her throat, she hadn't realized he was conscious enough at the time to remember anything about it later. Apparently she had been wrong. She followed his gaze with her own, studying her own hand resting on his intently. Barely whispering she answered, "You said you loved me." She couldn't bring herself to look at him again, focusing all her energy on studying their hands.
Harm was silent also, that's what he'd thought. He was even more embarrassed now. Sighing softly he closed his eyes again, letting his mind drift as he tried to come up with a response. That hadn't exactly been how he'd planned on telling her about his feelings. The silence stretched on though Harm noted ironically that it never really became uncomfortable. Finally he stated softly, opening his eyes again to study her profile, "I meant it." When her startled gaze met his, he met it with a heartfelt one of his own. Silently he tried to convey his feelings with his eyes, waiting tensely for her response.
After a tense moment smiled, dipping her head briefly in acknowledgement. Speaking no louder than before, gaze locked with his she responded, "I know. I love you, Harm."
He stared for a long moment before grinning as broadly as he could. The action pulled the bruise across his jaw and he winced, the smile diminishing somewhat. Tenderly Mac reached out to touch the bruise, trailing her fingers lightly across his jaw. She murmured, "You know, we still have a lot to talk about."
Harm nodded slightly, taking comfort in the feel of her hand against his cheek. His own response was a drowsy murmur as the drugs the nurse had added to his IV started to finally take effect, "I know. We will, I promise." Smiling at her one last time he drifted back to sleep. She watched him sleep for a few moments, glancing up briefly when the door opened. Seeing Doctor Williams enter she nodded slightly.
The doctor stepped up beside her, studying Harm intently before whispering to Mac, "How is he?"
"In pain, he doesn't remember a whole lot."
"Not surprising. We'll make a more complete assessment when he wakes up again." Williams made some notes on his clipboard then smiled slightly at Mac, "Don't worry, Colonel, his waking up is a good sign. Did he appear to remember more as you spoke to him?"
She nodded slightly, "Yes."
"Good, that's a good sign also." Studying Harm once more and making a few more notes Doctor Williams nodded slightly to Mac, "Call me if you need anything or his condition changes."
"Of course, thank you, doctor." Smiling slightly Williams left Mac and Harm alone once more. Mac curled back into the chair, wrapping her arms around herself. Smiling to herself she settled in to watch over her partner once more.
Personal thoughts on the finale: Loved it! Thought it was handled rather appropriately. One of my fav parts was definitely Mac kicking Vukovic out of her office. And the end was sooooo sweet. I found it rather appropriate that Mac was the one who took the initiative to go to Harm's place and Harm was the one who actually said "I love you". Seemed to be an apt reflection of their relationship. And they're engaged! WHOOP! Overall, loved it. Kinda sad it's over but glad at the same time 'cause it wouldn't have been the same without Harm.