"And then she said that I did a good job. And then she told Jerry he did a good job too. And then we started fighting over who she liked more." T.J talked a mile a minute and Tim finally looked up from his plate.
"T.J, you want to eat?"
"But Dad, she's amazing."
"Yes sport but she's also your 28 year old teacher."
"She's pretty."
Calleigh sighed and pointed her fork at Tim.
"He's definitely your son."
"Like there was ever any doubt." Tim grinned, glancing over at Ava. She had a frown on her face and was pushing her food around. "You okay princess?"
"Yep." she mumbled. "I'm not hungry."
"Why not?" Calleigh asked.
"I dunno."
"You feel alright?"
"Yeah. Can I go upstairs?"
Calleigh glanced worriedly at Tim, but he shrugged. She nodded and Ava scampered off.
"Excuse me..." Tim drawled, leaving the kitchen. He waited a few minutes then walked into Ava's room. She was sitting on the floor playing with her dolls. "Hey shorty."
"Hi."
Tim lowered himself onto the floor with a wince. He was getting too old for this.
"So what's going on?"
"Nothing." Ava said. "Really, Daddy."
"Mhmm... so what's got you so glum?"
"I don't want Mommy to have a baby!"
Tim's eyes widened slightly. How did she...
"What are you talking about?" he asked. Ava shifted uncomfortably. "Ava..."
"I heard you and Mommy talking." she said quietly, not looking up at her father. "Suzie at daycare says that she has a new little sister and all she does is cry and her mommy and daddy don't pay any attention to her. Besides, I like being the baby Daddy."
Tim sighed and rubbed his forehead.
"Okay. Here's the deal. Yes, Mommy is going to have a baby. We can't reverse it. I don't care what Suzie at daycare said. The baby will sometimes cry but Mommy and I will not stop loving you. I promise. And... being the baby isn't fun."
"Yes it is." Ava argued. "I get spoiled."
"Come here." Tim pulled her onto his lap and looked down at her. "You wouldn't want a little sister?"
"No." Ava said firmly. "Then she'll be your princess. I won't matter anymore."
Tim tried to hide his smile.
"Yes you will." he kissed the top of her head. "And I don't care who comes alone you're still gonna be my princess."
"Really?"
"Really. Now do you want a little brother or sister?"
"No."
Tim sighed and shook his head.
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"Where are we going?" Ava asked.
"Jesus, does she ever shut up?" Eric asked, turning the radio on. "Why do I have to come anyway?"
"Because you were the only one around." Tim replied.
"Cause money can't buy me love." the singer on the radio sang.
"Heh, that's true. Well unless you want a hooker." Eric laughed, changing the radio station. Tim threw him a nasty look.
"Daddy?"
Tim knew what was coming.
"What Ava?"
"What's a... a... a..."
"A hooker?" Eric supplied. He loved getting Tim frustrated.
"Yeah."
"Um..." Tim wanted to reach over and smack Eric. "A... it..."
"Ask Mommy." Eric smirked.
"No!" Tim pulled into a parking lot. "Come on. We're here."
"Where is 'here?'" Ava asked, now interesting in their destination. Tim unbuckled her from the booster seat and carried her into a pet store. "Why are we here?"
"Well... T.J has Buster so I figured that maybe you wanted a pet of your own sweetie." Tim said. "You want a fish?"
"No. Fish are boring."
"Besides they die in like a day." Eric said. Tim gave him another look. "You know I'm bad in public. Why did you bring me?"
"Because you're Uncle Eric and help out in most situations." Tim said through gritted teeth. "What about a turtle?"
"How about Daddy builds you a little aquatic zoo." Eric snickered. "Get her a real animal Speed."
Ava squirmed out of Tim's hold and walked around.
"Why do you have to cause trouble? Calleigh will kill me if I come home with another furry thing." Tim hissed.
"Well why did you bring her here?"
"She's four Eric. I figured she wanted a fish or something."
Eric rolled his eyes.
"Hey Ava what do you got?" he asked.
"I want him." she said. "Daddy, I want him."
"What is it?" Tim peered at the tag on the cage. "A ferret... oh honey I..."
"Please?" Ava stuck her bottom lip out and gave Tim the puppy dog look.
"Oh no don't do that." he pleaded.
"Ooh it could be like in Along Came Polly." Eric grinned. "Keep him on a leash Ava."
"Yeah!" she smiled. "Please Daddy? He's sooo cute!"
Tim groaned and called one of the workers over. He put the ferret in a box and took him up to the counter. A bored looking middle-aged woman was ringing up Tim's purchases when Ava tugged on his pant leg.
"What?"
"You never did tell me what a hooker was."
Eric looked like he was going to burst from holding his laughter. The cashier looked highly amused. A few other customers looked appalled and Tim wanted to die.
"Forget about it."
"But..." Ava turned to Eric. "What is it?"
"Can you please go start the car?" Tim asked.
-----------S/C----------
"Mommy!" Ava ran into the living room and Calleigh looked up.
"Hey baby. What did you get?"
"Uncle Eric told me what a hooker was." Ava said. Calleigh blinked. "He said that it's a woman that sells sex. He said you and Daddy do it a lot."
"Eric..."
"Yes?"
"Do you know how old my daughter is?" Calleigh asked sweetly.
"Tim bought her a ferret."
"TIMOTHY!"
"Thanks a lot Eric. You know Calleigh, all I did was buy her a ferret. He told her about our s-e-x l-i-f-e."
"Daddy, I can spell." Ava said.
"Why do you have to be so smart?" Tim asked.
"Mommy, if it makes you any happier, Uncle Eric didn't say what sex was. He said Daddy and you could tell me."
"I'm gonna take my leave." Eric said. "I love you Calleigh."
"Get out of here before I kill you Eric."
-------------S/C------------
Ava sighed and rolled the blue ball down the hallway.
"Ava, pick him up before he gets lost." Tim called, hearing the ferret's cage rolling around upstairs. "Remember when he fell in the hamper?"
Buster barked, seeing Alexander in his ball as it rolled into T.J's room.
"Get him out of here Ava!" T.J yelled. "He's annoying Buster."
Ava glared at her brother and tucked the ball under her arm. She ran into Calleigh and Tim's room and plopped down on the bed next to Calleigh.
"Mommy?"
"What baby?"
"T.J and Daddy are being mean to Alexander." Ava scowled.
"They just don't want him getting lost again honey." Calleigh pushed herself off the bed and looked at Ava. "Isn't someone's party starting soon?"
"No one's coming." she muttered, playing with the lid on the ball.
"Ava if you let him out..." Calleigh warned.
"I'm not Mommy."
"Good. Come on. Put him in your room. Your friends are gonna be here soon."
"I don't have any friends."
"You've been hanging around Daddy too much. Turning into a pessimist." Calleigh smiled. "I'll meet you downstairs."
Ava sighed and went into her room. Tim glanced behind him, a roll of tape in his mouth. He was wobbling on a ladder, trying to hang streamers up.
"You should've done that before." Calleigh said, a hand resting on her stomach, the other on her back.
"You okay?" Tim mumbled around the tape.
"Yes Tim! I'm pregnant! My back hurts! I haven't seen my feet in a month! And it's all your kid's fault!"
"I'm sorry."
"Oh don't be. This is the last one." Calleigh muttered. "I can barely walk..."
Tim rolled his eyes and went back to hanging the streamers up.
"Don't you dare roll your eyes at me Timothy!" Calleigh snapped, lowering herself down onto their couch. "I'm not moving at all."
"It's okay. I'll do everything. I just want you to relax."
"Yes because the doctor said I'm going to go into labor at any moment." Calleigh said sarcastically. Her doctor had actually said it'd be about another week but she could go earlier. If the baby was anything like Tim, then he or she would be late so Calleigh highly doubted she'd go into labor in the next week.
"Hey people!" Eric and Valera walked in the door from the garage, Eric carrying their two year old daughter Jamie.
"T.J! Ava!" Tim yelled. "Your uncle and aunt are here!"
Valera walked into the living room and kissed Calleigh's cheek.
"How're you feeling?"
"Like a beached whale." Calleigh complained. Valera smiled and rubbed her stomach.
"Hey are you gonna come and join us anytime soon? Your mother is getting a bit annoyed."
"Oh no. These past nine months have been joyful." Calleigh said sarcastically. "Morning sickness, weird cravings, having to pee every hour because he seems to think my bladder is a trampoline..."
"And of course," Tim said with a smirk, "this is my fault."
"Yes it is because you just can't keep your hands off me."
"Not my fault you're hot."
"Whoa, I don't need to hear this." Eric said. "Where's the birthday girl?"
"Right here." Ava sulked.
"Honey, it's your birthday." Tim said. "Be happy."
"No one is coming are they?"
"They'll be here soon." Valera assured. "Come here and give me a hug."
Ava crossed the room and Valera pulled her onto her lap.
"Five years old... seems like yesterday you were just born." she smiled.
"I want to go in the pool." Ava said.
"Baby, your friends are gonna be here soon." Tim said.
"So? They know we're swimming. If they come." she mumbled, running upstairs. She came back a few minutes later, her swimsuit on.
"I'll take her out back." Valera said.
"I'll get that grill started." Eric added.
"If she's going in, can I?" T.J asked. Tim nodded. T.J quickly changed and ran outside.
"Now what can I do for you?" Tim asked, leaning on the ladder. Calleigh gave him a look. He gave her one of his smiles and walked over to her. "What?"
"Nothing."
"I know something's wrong."
"Nothing is wrong." Calleigh insisted. Tim leaned over and kissed her gently. He frowned, feeling her tense up and grip his hand tightly. "Uh... I think Ava and the new baby are gonna be sharing a birthday."
"What?" Tim asked stupidly.
"I've been having contractions... for like... an hour."
"Baby why didn't you say anything?" Tim exclaimed.
"Because I didn't know if it was contractions or not."
"You've been through this two times and you can't tell if you're in labor or not?"
"It's Ava's birthday! She's already upset about the baby..."
"Oh so what are you going to do? Tell him, 'It's your sister's birthday so you're gonna have to wait a few hours?" Tim asked.
-------------S/C------------
A/N: Okay so originally this was gonna be the epilogue but it was so damn long so the epilogue is the NEXT chapter.