Disclaimer: yeah, not mine

So um... I said it shouldn't happen again and I apparently lied. Sorry about that. :hangs head: On the other hand, definitely won't happen again because well, I fully intend on finishing this story before I leave for OTS and since that's rather soon, I kind of have to update quicker now don't I? Thanks to Bratling, froggy, Vid Z, zeilfanaat, harmfan, cbw, jaggurl, starryeyes, minorcadence, Harmfan, MichelleLee, Mxfan, snugglebug, LiseGirardi, moonlight, Brittany, G, eagleandrose, EY, KUFan, and anyone else I missed (or couldn't thank because ff. net doesn't like the formatting)! And an especially huge thanks to those of you who pointed out my rather obvious insistence on not using Earth logic in my last chapter. After thinking about it I decided to go ahead and revise the last chapter accordingly since well... yeah, you guys brought up points I had either not thought about or apparently ignored. I really do appreciate the constructive criticism (especially since none of you insulted me in the process, yay:-D ). Also thanks to sithwitch for yet again listening to my agonizing over this story. So anywho, enough of my ramblings, more story! Enjoy!

Same Day

Bethesda Naval Hospital

0000 ZULU

Harm glanced impatiently at the clock. Mac had said she would head over from the office which meant she should have been here over an hour ago. He'd accepted, albeit grudgingly, that she was going to have to remain at headquarters all day in case she was needed but he couldn't fathom why she hadn't appeared yet. Ever since her phone call before lunch he'd been anxious to speak to her. The conversation had caused a startling influx of memories, none of which were terribly pleasant and he knew they had to talk about them.

Harm glanced at the time, startled to realize they'd been on the phone for over an hour discussing the case and various other topics. It'd been extremely pleasant and he regretted that he would be unable to talk to her again until the evening. Sighing softly he heard Mac say, "Harm? I gotta go."

He nodded to himself, "Yeah, ok. I'll talk to you later."

He could hear the smile in her voice when she replied, "Of course."

Suddenly he spoke up, "Mac?"

She sounded surprised at the urgency in his voice, "Yes?"

"Thanks for coming after me."

There was a long pause. Harm was beginning to get worried when she answered, sounding both happy and vaguely sorrowful, but somehow he could tell she was still smiling, "You did the same for me." He didn't get a chance to ask what she meant when she spoke again, "I really need to go, Harm. Sturgis is waiting for me. I'll see you tonight."

"Right. Bye, Mac."

"Bye, Harm."

He sighed at the memory. He understood why she'd had to get off the phone and couldn't be even mildly annoyed at the fact. But it was her other comment that had gotten him thinking, "You did the same for me." For the rest of the day a part of his mind had been mulling over the phrase. Slowly memories had trickled back and as they'd done so his mood had gotten bleaker and bleaker. Intellectually he knew he no longer had anything to worry about, but part of him worried that everything they had currently was merely out of guilt on her part. Harm didn't think he could bear it if that was the case.

The sound of the door opening startled him out of his thoughts. His head jerked up to spy Mac stepping into the room, grinning at him. He immediately grinned back but it faded almost immediately as his depressing thoughts made themselves known again. She frowned slightly at the look on his face, closing the door quietly behind her. "Harm? You ok?"

He forced a smile, "Yeah, I'm fine. What kept you?" He couldn't keep the slight note of concern and panic out of his voice.

Still watching him in concern she made her way over to the bed, dropping a kiss on his lips before settling into her usual spot beside the bed, "I stopped at home to change and take the dog back to Jen's."

"Back to Jen's?"

"She watched him while I went back to Iraq and agreed to watch him again for the weekend." Mac smiled faintly, "I definitely owe her one… or five."

Harm chuckled briefly before asking, "Why is she watching him for the weekend?"

Mac cocked her head at him, "Because dogs aren't allowed in the hospital, Harm. And I couldn't very well leave him all by himself until Monday."

"So you… so you plan on staying this weekend then?"

She frowned again, studying his face, "Of course, why wouldn't I?"

"I… no reason." Harm looked away, becoming very interested in the curtains drawn across his window. For a moment he wished he was still in the chair but concluded that either way he couldn't escape.

After a moment she spoke again and Harm could hear the concern in her voice, "Harm, what's wrong?"

He sighed but didn't respond. After a long pause he turned his head back towards her, "We need to talk." Slowly she nodded and waited for him to go on. He thought he detected a hint of fear in her eyes but it was gone so quickly he couldn't be sure. Taking a deep breath he stated, "In Paraguay you said something to me." He heard the sharp intake of breath when he mentioned the fiasco but plowed forward, "You said it would never work between us." He glanced down briefly then back at her, fixing her with an intent gaze, "Did you mean it?"

Mac sighed softly, glancing down at her hands. She didn't answer immediately, instead shifting to a more comfortable position. Eventually she glanced at the door and Harm had the distinct impression she was willing it to stay closed. Finally she looked back at him, gazing at him calmly as she replied, "Yes." Harm's eyes closed, feeling his heart sinking until she continued, "At the time."

His eyes flew open again, "At the time?"

"Yes, at the time." She sighed, "Harm, I said a lot of things in Paraguay that I didn't mean."

He asked softly, his voice intense, "Why?"

"I was angry." She smiled wryly, shrugging.

"Yeah, I kinda got that at the time." He smiled faintly, "But why? You never did tell me why."

Sighing again, Mac ran a hand through her hair, "I don't really know. Correction, I do know but it doesn't really make much sense. I was mad at you, mostly. Mad at you for coming after me."

He blinked in confusion, "Huh?"

"Told you it didn't make much sense. I was angry at you for not stopping me from going, for coming after me and nearly getting yourself killed, for not telling me the truth of why you were there, for giving up your career… it was all a big mess. And I was angry at myself for getting dragged into the mess, for not listening to you when you asked me not to go. And mad at Clay for his op going so blasted wrong. It just… I don't know."

He watched her quietly, waiting for her to finish. When she had he spoke quietly, "I guess we were both mad."

"Yeah, I guess so. Why were you mad?"

A self-deprecating smile flickered across his face, "Mad at myself for most of the same reasons as you, mad at you for not appreciating me, mad at Clay for nearly getting you killed, mad at the Admiral for not supporting my decision to find you. You're right; it was all a big mess." There was a long silence as they both contemplated the situation. Then Harm spoke again, hesitant, "But why Clay?"

Mac frowned slightly in thought then answered simply, "He told me what he wanted, you never would."

"And giving up my career to come after you wasn't enough to let you know how I felt?" Harm couldn't prevent the anger in his voice and he wasn't sure he really wanted to.

He saw the slight flinch at his tone and felt immediately repentant. But she answered anyways, gazing at him sadly, "I never said what happened in Paraguay was the right thing, Harm. I just wanted to be told, not have to try and decipher it. Is that so bad?"

He sighed and shook his head, the anger draining out of him, "No, it's not." He paused then added, "Mac, I'm sorry."

Startled, she asked, "For what?"

"Everything. All the stupid times over the past years that I never said or did what I should have. Forgive me?"

"Only if you'll forgive me."

It was his turn to be startled, "For what?"

Mac laughed softly, "Same reason. Maybe we should just agree to forgive each other for the past what? 9 years?"

Harm blinked then laughed too, seeing the humor in the situation, "Sounds good to me." There was another pause before he added, "There's still a lot to talk about. Provided I ever remember what it is we need to talk about." The last was said with more than a hint of frustration and Mac smiled faintly, nodding in agreement. Shaking those thoughts away he gazed thoughtfully at the ceiling, "So, how'd the hearing go?"

Mac heaved a disgusted sigh and he heard her settling back in the chair. Rolling his head to the side he arched an eyebrow curiously. She was glaring at the floor as she answered, "It went well."

Dryly, Harm asked, "If it went so well why are you trying to kill the floor with a look?"

She glanced up at him, blinking in confusion. After a moment a smile tugged at her lips, "Sorry."

"Vukovic?"

"Ugh, who else?"

"What happened?"

"He tried to corner me during the recess for lunch. Fortunately Sturgis showed up pretty quickly. Of course, being on the phone helped." She flashed him a smile before continuing, "Then he tried again after the hearing was put in recess for the day."

Harm tried to keep his irritation off his face. He took a breath before asking calmly, "And?"

Mac's voice took on a definite edge, "Well I did come close to hitting him with my crutches but I figured that might be a bad idea. Instead I reminded him that trying to talk to the witnesses could quite possibly be construed as obstruction of justice." She smirked, "He didn't seem too keen on the addition of more charges and left."

Harm chuckled, "No, I'm sure he didn't. You think it will be recommended to court martial?"

She nodded, "Yes. Unfortunately we won't know for sure until the weekend is over. The hearing reconvenes at 1000 hours Monday morning."

"Ah. Well I'm sure Sturgis and… Bud? can handle it."

"Yeah… I'm sure they can."

"But?"

She smiled slightly, "You know me too well, sailor." He smiled in response. "I just wish it was going faster, that's all."

"It will go fast enough."

"When did you become so philosophical?" she retorted, smiling to show she didn't really mean it.

Harm laughed and offered a one shoulder shrug, "One of the side effects of not remembering anything I guess. Soon I'll start expounding on the meaning of life and the deep reasoning behind why hummingbirds hover."

Mac laughed and shook her head in amusement, "Heaven help us."

Grinning, he asked, "And how'd the meeting with the General go?" At the sudden mischievous glint in her eyes Harm studied her warily, "What?"

"Nothing." The smile tugging at her lips told him otherwise, however. "It went fine. He just wanted to give me a heads up about the charges against Vukovic."

"Oh?"

She nodded absently, "Yeah seems six more were added after our little… conversation yesterday."

Harm stared at her in surprise, "Six? One or two makes sense but how did he get six?"

"Two. Apparently the other four were a result of Iraq."

"Oh." He pondered this for a moment, tamping down on the smug feeling that swept through him at the news. Glancing back at Mac he arched an eyebrow, "What's the rest?"

"Rest?"

"There's more you have to say, I can tell."

She gazed at him for a moment as if debating whether to continue speaking. Harm was on the verge of glaring at her and attempting to force it out of her when she half-smiled, "You know how I mentioned a surprise earlier?" He nodded slightly. "Surprise, Captain Rabb."

He stared at her in shock for a long moment before asking quietly, "What?" Mac wordlessly handed him the papers detailing the promotion. Harm read through them silently, finally asking softly, "How?"

"The board met before Iraq, Harm."

"Oh." He skimmed the words in front of him again, processing this bit of news on top of everything else that had happened recently. Slowly a broad grin broke out on his face as he looked back up at Mac.

She forced a smile in return, "Congratulations."

"Thanks." His expression clouded as he gazed at her, "This changes everything."

She didn't bother to ask what he meant. The smile faded as she commented tentatively, "It doesn't have to."

He cocked his head curiously, "I don't see how it can't. Mac--"

"Harm," she cut him off. "You still have to face a medical review board before anything is decided."

Her partner watched her for a moment before asking, "And what do you want the decision to be?"

This time the smile was more genuine, "Well, if it involves sending us to opposite ends of the Earth I might have to protest." Harm smiled slightly and nodded in agreement. "However, like I said, nothing is going to be decided until that review board and the General ah… hinted that he would take any situational changes into account."

"Good." Looking back at the papers in his hand the new Captain felt a silly grin spreading across his face again, "You know… after all that's happened, I never really thought this day would come."

"You deserve it."

Monday

Court Room

1500 ZULU

Colonel MacKenzie sat in the back of the court room, waiting for the judge to make his final decision. Mentally she reviewed the list of things she needed to do after the hearing was over. Harm and her had spent a fairly decent weekend at the hospital, punctuated only occasionally by the navy pilot's insistence that he be allowed to go home sooner than Monday. Visits from their friends and even the General had broken up the monotony nicely though Mac still had no desire to see a hospital room ever again if it was possible.

Fortunately the doctor had agreed that Harm could be released into someone's care Monday afternoon. Mac had already volunteered for the job and no one dared contradict her though the doctor didn't seem too thrilled with the idea of releasing one invalid into the care of another. However, he had eventually relented after she had agreed to nearly a dozen different restrictions on both hers and Harm's activities. Mac smiled slightly at the memory, Harm had merely watched in amusement as the doctor ran through what appeared to be a hundred page long checklist. At least, it had appeared that long to the annoyed colonel though she had to concede it was probably closer to twenty.

Shaken out of her reverie by the arrival of Captain McCord, Mac automatically rose and then retook her seat. Pushing her thoughts away for now she focused her complete attention on the proceedings, trying to ignore the tension in her shoulders. She refused to admit just how much this hearing was affecting her. Mac suspected that Harm knew but he hadn't mentioned it and neither had she. Ignoring things seemed to be a trademark of their relationship though she hoped this particular "thing" wasn't going to result in a huge fight that left them worse off than before. Smiling slightly to herself Mac waited impatiently for the Captain to ask the lawyers if they had anything further to add to their cases. Receiving a denial from both the defense and prosecution Captain McCord leaned back in his chair, silently contemplating the officers in front of him.

Out of the corner of her eye Mac noticed Vukovic shifting in his seat as the silence dragged on. She was mildly surprised when the judge's eyes flickered to her for a moment and met his gaze cautiously. Abruptly he seemed to make up his mind and leaned forward again, pinning Vukovic and his lawyer with a steady gaze that hinted at nothing. His voice was perfectly even as he stated, "In light of the testimonies and evidence presented in this hearing it is my decision that this case continue on to court martial for all charges."

Mac let out a soft sigh of relief, shooting a small smile at Bud when he turned towards her. He returned the smile then turned back around as everyone rose to their feet once more while McCord left. Noting the look of anger on Vukovic's face the Colonel decided she'd much rather be elsewhere. Glancing back at Sturgis and Bud once more, Mac slipped out of the court room, glad she'd sat in the back. Hoping that Commander Matthews kept Vukovic occupied for a few minutes, she made her way to her office. Closing the door behind her she mentally cursed the cast on her leg that prevented her from being able to drive. She knew it'd be a few minutes before Sturgis would be able to take her to the hospital to pick up Harm.

She'd been pleasantly surprised when the Commander had volunteered to do the driving for the day. Mac had a feeling he was trying to rectify at least a small portion of the friendship Harm and her had once had with the other man. However, given the current state of affairs she wasn't really in any position to look a gift horse in the mouth. So she'd accepted though Harm had seemed a bit uncomfortable with the idea. He'd given in after a short argument though, finally conceding that they did need someone else to drive.

Absently she glanced around the office, vaguely surprised at how alien it appeared. It'd been only a few weeks since she'd last been inside yet somehow it felt like longer. Yeah well, being a prisoner will do that to you, she thought cynically. Settling into her chair she scooped up the phone, automatically punching in the number for Harm's hospital room. Somewhat surprised to be met with a busy signal she dropped the phone back into the cradle and studied it intently for a moment, trying to puzzle out who he could be talking to. After a moment she let out an irritated sigh and shifted her gaze to the door, willing it to open.

Almost as soon as she looked at it there was a knock. Shocked that her wish had apparently worked, Mac stared at the door in stunned silence for a moment. A second knock brought her back to her senses and she called out, "Enter." Her hopes that it was Sturgis were dashed as the door opened to reveal Vukovic standing in the doorway. Surprise swiftly gave way to anger. Glaring at him she bit out, "Lieutenant, I thought we covered the additional charges you're trying to bring upon yourself yesterday."

"Ma'am, I wanted to discuss some things--"

"If you want a plea bargain, to discuss the charges, or for that matter to discuss the case in any way, talk to your lawyer. I won't remind you again that attempting to talk to me could be construed as obstruction of justice."

"I don't want a plea bargain! I want you to drop the charges!" he burst out, glaring back at her.

Colonel MacKenzie was silent for a long moment before she stated quietly, "As previously stated, these charges are not being brought by me. Now get the hell out of my office." When he didn't move Mac slowly stood, forgoing the crutches. Fixing him with the well-practiced glare of a superior officer to a subordinate she repeated slowly, "Get out of my office, Lieutenant. That is an order." After another defiant moment the lieutenant turned on his heel and stalked away. Releasing the breath she hadn't realized she was holding, Mac dropped back into her chair. Every meeting with him just seemed to get worse and worse. She couldn't wait for this whole mess to be over with.

Looking up again she found Sturgis hovering in the still open door. When he saw that she had noticed him he smiled, asking, "Ready to go, Colonel?"

"Definitely," Mac smiled tiredly back at him. Pulling herself to her feet again she exited the office ahead of him, ready to get out of the building and get Harm home.