By Scarlette O'Hara
Summary: Olivia can't take it anymore. She's worked herself too hard and she has been physiologically tinkered with over time. Her mind has pulled her into the world of confusion and self-mutilation.
Note: I don't own very much…these characters happen to be some of those things that I don't own…so sad.
"If I have to put one more pair of handcuffs on another criminal, I think I'll bust, Elliot. I really don't think I can take it anymore. It's really starting to get at me. I need some time off." Olivia slowly hung up the phone and sighed as she put her head in her hands.
What am I gonna do? This has never been a problem before. I don't have time to get another job. I'm always thinking about it. Always. I hate it. A little time off will let me be able to relax and finally get my mind off of everything.
As Olivia got up to go to bed, she passed her windowsill. She had been repainting her walls and windows. A razor used to scrape the paint off the glass was just setting there. Harmlessly. She stared at it for a few seconds while all the thoughts of her career rushed through her mind. She started to reach out for the little scrap of metal, but pulled her arm in quickly frowning. She left it there and walked away. Her mind went numb and she went to sleep.
The next day at work, Olivia made a b-line to the captain's office.
"Hi."
"Good morning. I'm glad you came in; I wanted to talk to you about the case you and Elliot have been working on. How is that coming along?"
"Actually, it's a dead end. Captain, I need to take a few days off."
"In the middle of a case? No. I can't let you, sorry."
"Cap, I really need it."
Captain Cragen could sense the urgency, so he gave in. Olivia didn't ask for vacation often.
"All right. You can have a week. I expect you back bright and early next week, though. Be ready for another case."
Olivia left satisfied. Cragen's last words put an uneasy edge on Olivia's heart. What would be the point of taking time off to heal if she would just come back to another hell-bound case?
None of the other detectives asked the captain where Olivia went that next week. They could all see the effects of her job all over her expression. What used to be an upbeat, content smile was now a droopy, tired frown. They knew she needed it.
Olivia went home and turned on the TV. It was the middle of the morning; all that was on were talk shows and the comedy part of the news. She turned it off and lay down on the couch. Her eyes were open and she was so tired. Tired of work, tired of life. A little tear fell from the corner of her eye and onto her resting hand. Slowly, she drifted into unconsciousness.
An hour or two had gone by. Olivia woke up and made her way to the bathroom. Again, she passed that same window with that same small razor. Its only purpose was to get rid of the pesky extra paint on the window glass. If it could make all the extra paint leave, maybe it could make all of her extra pain disappear. She picked it up and slid down the wall onto the carpet to banish all of her numbness.
A/N: I have wanted to write this for a very long time. I just never had the time. I will most definitely write more even if no one likes it. I like it too much. So…. if a reader feels like he or she should review…I would appreciate it. Thank you.