DISCLAIMER: I OWN NOTHING OF LORD OF THE RINGS (sadly)! BUT I DO OWN FAY,
THE LADIES IMAYA AND SOARIA, ISARA, TECKA AND OTHER CHARACTERS THAT ARE NOT
J.R.R.TOLKIEN OR PETER JACKSON'S!!!! THANK YOU ^^
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BTW, anything surround by little swirlys (Ex: ~la la la~) is Elvish ^^
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Ievandie: Don't worry, soon ^^
BlackStarDust: Yeah, that was pretty funny to write.
Laicalasse: Thanx. As much as we all hate Imaya and Soaria, they are imperative to the plot (oh well, at least they're good for SOMETHING, lol)
Siren: Thanx so much ^^ You kick big ass (
Mercury's Love: Long chapter? Long review!! Despite that fact that all your picking (at the chapter, that is) got me a little upset (ok, a lot upset) I'm not mad. It's not like you were flaming, and plus, u have a right to your opinion. So please, just go easy on me, k?
KK, thanx all! Review review review!! I wanna reach 100 ^^
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Fay's P.O,V,
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Damn Imaya and Soaria! Damn them to hell! I absolutely hate them!! And I hate my damn pride, too!
After the party, and the way Imaya shoved between Legolas and I, I had raced back to my room. I slammed the door, locked it, and flopped down on my bed. Crying would have made me feel SO much better, but damn my pride! I couldn't let myself do it! My lip trembled, my heart raced, my eyes got moist-but I couldn't let the tears fall. I pleaded with myself,
'Cry, Fay, just cry!'
And then I felt all the worse for talking to myself. Still, I wouldn't do it.
Andra knocked on my door. "Fay!" She called cheerily. "Go away." I mumbled. There was a pause on the other side of the door. "Fay, what's wrong?" She asked tenderly, like a loving mother would. "I'm not a morning person." I growled. There was another hesitant silence. "Please, Fay, what ails you?" She inquired. "Besides my reflection, nothing." I muttered sourly. "Your reflection?" She repeated, puzzled. "Yes!" I snapped irritably.
She sighed. "Come on Fay, the mistresses require council with you." She informed me. "Well that's too damn bad for them. I'm going nowhere." I grumbled. "Fay, will you at least unlock the door so that we may speak face to face? I believe everyone on the grounds can hear the conversation that we're having through your door." She pointed out. "Let them listen!" I hissed.
"Really, Fay. What's the matter? Please come out." She asked again. I could hear the patience in her voice fading. Still, I resisted. "I'm not coming out! No way, no how!" I barked. "Don't be silly," She laughed. But it was a nervous laugh. She was trying to disguise the worry rising in her voice. "Of course you're coming out." She stated. She was trying to assure herself, more than she was me. "You can think that all you want, but it doesn't make it true." I muttered. "Fay! This is becoming childish! Stop it!" Andra begged me. She rapped on the door with her knuckles to get my attention.
I felt sorry for her, sorry that I was putting her through this. Afterall, she hadn't done anything.
She continued to pound on my door. She was on the brink of delirium; I could hear the hysterics in her tone. "Please, please come out, Fay. You must meet with the ladies!" She persisted. "If I do, I can assure you that at least one of them will have a black eye!" I snapped.
I can't ever keep my anger in check. It simmers in my veins like a fire, boiling my blood. All that I can see is red. I've made myself bleed a few times, too. Once, I got so mad, I just kept hitting the wall, picturing the person's face. My friend saw me, though, and grabbed my wrists. They were bloody, mangled, and had to be bandaged for a week.
"Fay, you're going to be fired if you don't meet with them!" She insisted. "Who cares!!?" I'd shouted. There was a pause. "I do, Fay! We've just gotten to be friends, I don't want to lose you now!"
I felt bad again. I knew that being fired wasn't an option. For one thing, Andra would be hurt beyond words. I could never pain any of my friends like that-never!
For another thing, being fired would leave me broke and homeless. I would be a mere nobody on the streets. Why wouldn't I go back to the palace, you ask? Why wouldn't I ask Legolas to take me in, you wonder?
Seems logical, I know. But pride has control of me again! I am but a puppet on strings in Pride's clutches. After all the commotion that I've made about being independent, and not wanting to burden Legolas or anyone else in the palace, it would be SOO hypocritical for me to show up on his doorstep. I would be going against everything I'd ranted about for ages.
And besides, I would feel like a failure. Like one of those cheesy princesses that you read about. One who needs a knight in shining armor to save her.....
I am no princess. I am nobody. My hair, eyes, skin, and height make me blend in with everyone else here. You would never be able to pick me out of a crowd of elves. I hate my body, and the whole way that I look. I think I'm fat, and everything I wear shows it. I am no one special.
Andra's voice dragged me from my thoughts again. She was in tears, now. "Please, Fay! You'll be fired! I beg of you, meet with the ladies!!"
Sighing, I got off the bed. I glanced in the mirror quickly. My face was gaunt, and purple circles bagged under my eyes. I was pale (what else is new?), but my skin also held a strange tinge that was only there when I was sick. It was a mix of feverish red and nauseating green.
Sighing and reminding myself that I was still ugly, I opened the door.
Andra practically threw herself on me. "Praise be to the Valar!" She cried. Then she pulled back and eyed me. "By Elbereth, it look as though you've met with death himself!" She exclaimed. I groaned. "I know, I know. It's nothing different than usual, Andra. I always look like hell. Please don't remind me."
Concern clouded her eyes as I said this. "What do you mean that you always look bad?" She questioned. "I'm detestable!" I yelled. Her eyes went wide. "Whenever did you come up with such a ridiculous idea?" She demanded.
I'd glanced at her, and looked away. "It's not important. I have to go and see the mistresses now." I changed the subject, slipping from her grasp. I could feel the worry roll off her in waves and crash at my back. She knew that I was in a foul mood, but my comment about being ugly threw her off.
I reached the study of the sister Satans. I knocked once, and went in.
"Ah! Fay! About time you showed up!" Imaya sneered. I sighed and curtsied. "Good morning, mistresses." I nodded. Soaria wrinkled her nose. "Did you sleep with the pigs? You look even worse than usual." She commented. "If that's possible." Imaya added dryly. I sighed again. "No ma'am. What was it that you needed me for?" I questioned, changing the subject.
"I'm going to cut right to the chase." Imaya declared. "What WERE you doing, dancing with Prince Legolas at OUR party last night?" She demanded. I rolled my eyes. "Dancing, ma'am." I replied. Soaria scowled angrily. "Don't be pert, you insufferable wench! Be grateful that we don't toss you to the street!" She hollered, objects on the shelves shaking.
"Yes ma'am." I nodded, my voice monotone. "From hence forth, you are forbidden to attend any of our parties, do you hear me?" Imaya stated. "Yes ma'am." I nodded again, my face void of any emotion.
"Good. Now go get on with your chores." She ordered, waving me out the door. "Yes ma'am." I curtsied and headed for the door, thanking God that the meeting was so short. I spoke too soon.
"And Fay," Imaya called out sharply, just as I reached the doorknob. I grimaced, and turned to face them once more. "Yes?" I put on my best 'ignorant and innocent' face.
"You'd be best to stay away from the prince from now on." She warned. "Yes. The Prince doesn't want to be burdened with servant scum such as yourself." Soaria piped up. "Okay." I shrugged nonchalantly, and left. Ire was clouding my heart, but I forced it to stay in check. I would not let them get to me. I would not let them get to me. I WOULD NOT LET THEM GET TO ME! I would not sink to their level. I would not lower myself to their standards. They are below me.
I turned the corner, and found Andra waiting for me. "Well, how did it go?" She asked. I shrugged. "Fine. I am not allowed at any of their parties anymore." I announced. She gasped. "Why ever not?" She asked, eyes wide. I shrugged again. "Not sure. I wasn't really listening."
"Are you all right?" Andra questioned, lying her hand on my shoulder. I nodded. "Peachy. Why?" I replied. She eyed me skeptically, the shook her head, as though clearing thoughts. "Grab a cloak, we have market duties this morning." She informed me, changing the subject. I nodded. "Alright."
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A short time later, we were wandering around a quaint village in Mirkwood. There were several little wooden stands, all advertising some product or another. Elves everywhere were shouting and hollering, trying to get attention from possible customers.
Andra and I just strolled, sometimes glancing at things that looked interesting. We were silent until she asked, "This morning, why did you say that you were atrocious?" She questioned suddenly.
I paused. "I don't know. I'm sorry. I suppose that I was just angry." I explained.
I knew that that reason was only half-true. For some time now. I had been feeling self-conscious when I looked into the mirror. Clothes didn't seem to fall right, and 'highlight my feminine curves' like they were supposed to. At first, I dismissed it as another one of those phases that teens go through.
But then it began to weigh more heavily on my mind. I decided that the idea was the product of reading too many cheesy romance novels, where the heroine was immaculately, flawlessly, beautiful. But now, now that I was among elves, uncertainty was rearing its ugly head.
When first I fell into Middle-Earth, I would simply gaze at the elves and think "God they're gorgeous...wait! Of course they are, they're elves!" And then I began comparing my looks to the maidens (A/N: You'll notice that she DOES compare herself with Imaya and Soaria when she first meets them in ch. 5, in like the 5th paragraph down).
But after last night, my subconscious was telling me that I wasn't good enough. Yes, that's right, even my subconscious was pitted against me.
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DREAM
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Legolas and I were dancing. We were in a ballroom. No...wait. Not a ballroom; we were in a fantasy place. Everything was light and breezy, cheery and glittery. It was so perfect, it was unreal.
He smiled down at me, and I smiled back. His arms were so warm, I thought I'd melt.
Then, the ground started to shake, and crack. It split wide open between the feet of Legolas and I. We were pulled apart. I reached for him, but he didn't seem distressed. In fact, he appeared more than happy--- dancing with Imaya and Soaria. They had come from practically nowhere, and were shooting me smug looks.
"Legolas! Why!?" I yelled. Everything around me was wilting and dying. But everything near Legolas was still perfect, gorgeous. "Can't you see, Fay?" He scoffed. "They are so much better than you! You could never compare to them!" He motioned towards the ladies. "Absolutely!" Nodded Imaya. "Now why don't you go and finish cleaning the mud off our shoes?" Soaria smirked as she threw an arm around Legolas, who happily placed an arm around her waist.
And they all began laughing as the darkness closed in on me. It swallowed me, as I lay curled up on the ground.
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END OF DREAM
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It was at that moment that I'd woken up. I knew that this whole self- conscious thing wasn't just a phase anymore.
All my anger at Imaya from last night was triggering it into a full-blown problem. Little did I know how much of a problem it would turn out to be...
"Fay? Fay!? Are you all right!?" Andra shook me. "Huh? What? Oh, yeah. I'm fine, Andra." I nodded. She let go of my shoulders. People walking by were casting us odd looks, but Andra obviously didn't care. "Fay, you're really beginning to scare me! What's happened? What's wrong?" She questioned, worry lines forming on her brow.
My eyebrow rose. "What are you talking about?" I asked. She sighed. "Fay, I couldn't find you at the party last night, and had to ask everyone where you went. I finally found you in your room, still fully clothed, asleep on your bed," " I was tired!" I interrupted. She scowled and I piped down.
"Then," She continued. "I go to get you up this morning, and your door's locked. After nearly an hour of begging and pleading, you finally come out. You are in a complete state of disarray, and when I ask you why, you go off on a whole ranting about how ugly you are. Then, you just stood there while Imaya and Soaria insulted you, and now you're asking me why I think you're not well." She finished, exasperated.
"So?" I mumbled. "UH!" She threw her hands up in defeat. "I give in! Whatever the problem is, you're obviously NOT going to discuss it, and I, for one, am not going to waste my whole day begging you!" She snapped, finally at the breaking point.
I stood there, silent. I stared at my boots, which suddenly seemed very interesting. "Sorry." I apologized. She sighed, getting herself under control once more, and glaring at curious onlookers whom had heard her sudden outburst. They scurried away from her gaze, and continued with what they had been doing.
She turned her attention back to me. "It's okay. I'm just...concerned for you. You're like a sister to me. My ~onoone~." She cooed in Elvish. "What does that mean?" I questioned. "Blood-kin." She replied. "And that's Sindarin?" I questioned.
We were strolling through the market again. "No. That's Quenya. The Sindarin word for 'sister' is ~ser'noth~, but I like ~onoone~ better. It's so much prettier, and so much deeper." She grinned. I smiled. "~Onoone~..." The word rolled off my tongue smoothly. I paused.
"Andra, how can you consider me to be your blood-kin, if we are not related?" I questioned. She grinned. "Would you like to be?" She smirked. My eyebrows crossed with puzzlement. "How?" I inquired.
Grinning, she pulled me into a discreet ally. "We can share blood." She whispered. My eyes went wide. "What? How?"
She chuckled at my questions, and produced a very small dagger from her basket. She held out her finger, and gently pricked the tip of it with her dagger. Smiling, I held out my finger as well. The small steel blade pinched it. "Now..." She took my finger, and pressed mine to hers. The ruby droplets mingled, and were as one for those brief moments.
I watched in awe, and a warm feeling flooded me. She pulled away. "Not so hard, hmm ~onoone~?" She smiled. "No." I grinned.
We began walking through the marketplace again. The dagger was once more tucked under the bundles of Andra's basket. "You know," She smiled. "Now that we are ~ser'noths~," "Sisters." I interrupted, translating. She grinned. "Yes, sisters. We should give you an Elvish name." She declared. I paused. "Really? That would be so cool!" I exclaimed.
She frowned. "Cool? Why would it be cold?" She questioned. I laughed. "Cool is slang for neat or great or interesting." I explained. "Oh." She nodded. "What are you going to name me!?" I inquired happily.
She pursed her lips, and her hand rose to meet her chin. She was thinking, watching her feet as we walked. "Ellewen!" She declared finally.
"Ellewen..." I let the name roll off my tongue slowly. "How lovely. I like it." I agreed. She grinned. "Good. And now, my dear Ellewen, we ~onoone~ must select fresh fruits for the kitchen." She grinned, glancing at a small stand with apples and other Middle-earthen fruits that I couldn't recognize.
"Just pick the ones with the least amount of brown spots." Andra instructed. "Yes ~ser'noth~." I nodded. She glanced at me, and we began giggling.
The elf running the stand glanced at us curiously. "Sister?" he repeated. "You two are sisters?" He questioned. We glanced at each other, and began giggling again. "We'll take these." Andra declared, placing a pile of pear- like fruits in front of the clerk. "Alright." He stated the price, which was paid, and we began walking through the marketplace once more.
"Andra, now that we are sisters," I started, but stopped, hesitating. "Go on." She urged. "I would like to talk to you about this morning." I stated. She smiled. "Certainly."
I took a deep breath. "Andra...do you think I'm overweight, or , or ugly, even?" I questioned, stammering. Her eyes went wide. "Is that what this is about? You think you're ugly?" She realized. "Well, sorta." I replied timidly. "Oh, Ellewen..." She murmured comfortingly, enveloping me in a hug.
"Why do you think that?" She questioned, stepping back slightly, and looking me in the eye. "All you Elves are so beautiful, and I...I am an imposter." I muttered. "I could never compare to any of you." I sighed, and slumped against a nearby wall.
"Fay, you know that's not true! You're lovely! Why, just last night, in that gown-oh! You were exquisite! A sheer image of beauty!" She assured me, a comforting hand on my shoulder. "Andra, that was a BALL." I growled. "So?" She asked. "EVERYONE looks good at a ball! I mean, did you see some of them? They were perfect, Andra, =perfect=!!" I snapped.
She sighed. "Ellewen...."
"Greetings!" Someone called. The two of us looked up and saw Aragorn and Gimli standing there. Nobody said anything. "Did we interrupt something?" Aragorn questioned. "Well Fay was just saying..." Andra started, but I slapped a hand over her mouth. "~Ser'noth~!" I hissed. She grinned sheepishly. "Nope. Nothing interesting happening here." She grinned at them.
They glanced at us skeptically, but shrugged it off. "So what are you ladies up to?" Gimli asked. "Shopping." I answered. Gimli snorted. "Why do you women love to spend money so much?" He muttered. Andra and I glanced at each other, and began laughing again.
Gimli clapped his hands over his ears. "And giggling!" He bellowed. "All you females do is shop and giggle!" He exclaimed unhappily. I clapped him on the back. "So sorry, Master Dwarf. We will cease." I announced. "Good." He nodded.
"So what are YOU two doing out and about?" I questioned, raising an eyebrow at them. "We were headed to the main gates to meet some friends of ours." Aragorn informed me. "Really? Anyone I know?" I asked. Gimli shrugged. "Unless you know Gandalf the White Wizard, and a handful of Hobbits, I doubt it." He replied.
"Hobbits?" Andra spoke up. "You mean the halflings?" She questioned. Aragorn nodded.
I, personally, was thinking back to the books, and realized that the whole fellowship was coming together for a reunion (minus Boromir, of course). "Having a get-together are we?" I smirked. "Yes. They're coming to celebrate Legolas's birthday." Aragorn nodded.
"I thought that was a while ago." I frowned in confusion. "It was. But they didn't receive word of it until recently." He explained. I nodded.
"You should come and meet them!" Gimli declared suddenly. Andra's eyes got wide. "Meet the rest of the fellowship!" She breathed in excited anticipation. "We should, Ellewen, we really should go!" She smiled, shaking my arm.
"Who's Ellewen?" Aragorn inquired. "Me. Andra and I are now ~onoone~, so she has given me an Elvish name." I answered. "What is ~onoone~?" Gimli asked. "Blood-kin." Strider replied. I nodded. "Quite the pact." He observed. "Yes." I agreed.
"Nevermind all that blood rubbish!" Gimli hollered. "We must go meet the hobbits!" He stamped his feet impatiently. "Yes, yes! Come on, Ellewen, let's go, ~ser'noth~!" Andra cried.
I wanted to go, I really did. The hobbits seemed absolutely adorable. But yet, some part of me resisted.
"I don't know, ~onoone~," I puzzled. "What time are we expected back?" I questioned. "We have as long as we need to shop!" She replied hastily. I wasn't sure I believed that. It seemed WAY out of character for Imaya or Soaria to let any of their maids wander through the market all day.
"The elf will be there!" Gimli urged, wiggling his eyebrows up and down. I laughed at his antics. But that was all he had to say. Now that I knew that Legolas would be there, I REALLY didn't want to go.
"No, no. You should go Andra. I'm afraid that I don't feel well, of a sudden. Will I meet you back in quarters?" I asked. She frowned. "You are unwell?" She repeated. "Does it have anything to do with...this morning?" She questioned, glancing at a curious Aragorn and Gimli.
"No, no, no. Okay, well, a little...yes. " I stuttered. She sighed. "Come, Ellewen. We shall return home then." She sighed again, taking a hold of my arm in a motherly fashion.
"Are you all right?" Aragorn asked, searching my face for some sign. "Yes, I'm sure that I'll be fine." I nodded. "As you wish. We shall tell Master Elf that you wanted to come, but are indisposed." Gimli announced.
"Thank you. Hope to see you all later!" I waved, and Andra and I walked off. I hoped they didn't suspect anything.
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ARAGORN'S P.O.V.
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I suspected something. Last night, I'd watched Legolas and Fay dance. I could see a passion between them. Fay had gazed at Legolas as though he was a god, and someone to be both feared and adored.
Legolas had returned her gaze, seeing her as a lovely maiden whom he should definitely keep an eye on.
Fay blushed whenever Legolas was near, and he smiled a lot. He also got somewhat chatty, which was unusual for my timid elf friend.
Fay seemed to be adjusting well to life in Mirkwood. She was obviously a very close friend with that she-elf, Andra. They had only known each other a short time, and yet already they were bound in blood. Andra even gave Fay an Elvsih name, I recalled.
What was it? Elliwer? Ellaner? No, no. It was Ellewen. Yes that was it. Actually, that was a nice Elvish name.
I remember when I'd gotten mine. Ellessar. What a memorable moment.
Andra and 'Ellewen' kept calling each other ~ser'noth~, which was Sindarin for 'sister', and ~onoone~, which was Quenya for 'blood-kin'. Yes, they were indeed close.
This was also obvious when they began hinting at something that happened that morning. As soon as Fay, or, erm *cough 'Ellewen', mentioned it, Andra became worried. I couldn't help but wonder what it was. Both were quite shaken up about it, I could see.
Also strange was that, when Gimli mentioned Legolas, I saw something in Fay's eyes that was quite out of place. Fear, anxiety, dread. Was she scared of Legolas? Why? Perhaps he had something to do with whatever had happened that morning? I could only wonder.
Gimli (who babbled incessantly) and I finally reached the front gates of Mirkwood. Legolas was already waiting. "There you are!" He exclaimed. "Wherever have you been?" He questioned. "We were delayed by that lass you're partial to. She and her friend were in the marketplace." Gimli replied.
"Lass that I'm partial to?" Legolas repeated, puzzled. "Who is that?" He asked. "That girl! Oh what's her name..." Gimli shook his head, frustrated. "Which one?" I muttered. "She has two names now." pointed out. "Two names?" Legolas's eyebrows rose with confusion. "What ARE you two talking about?" He inquired.
"We saw Fay and Andra in the market." I answered. "Oh." The look didn't fade. "What's wrong?" I questioned. "Who has two names?" He asked. "Oh, that." I nodded. "Andra gave Fay an elvish name." I explained. "What was it? Why did she do that?" He pressed. "The name was Ellewen. She gave it to her because they mixed their blood and are now blood sisters."
"Ellewen..." He marveled. "Yes, yes. Master Elf, keep your jaw off the ground. The others shall be here any moment." Gimli muttered. Legolas gave him a warm grin. "Of course Master Dwarf. Just as you would have it." He chuckled. Gimli went back to gazing at the gates.
Legolas turned to me, dropping his voice to a low whisper so as not to disturb the dwarf. "If you met them, why did you not invite them along? I'm sure that Mithrandir and the halflings would have been thrilled to meet them." He stated. I swallowed. Should I tell Legolas about the emotions that flew through Fay's eyes at the mention of his name? No.
"They were going to come, but Fay fell ill at the last moment." I explained, just like I'd promised I would. "Fell ill? Is she all right?" He asked, digging for more information. "Yes. She seemed out of sorts due to an event that happened this morning." I informed him. "What happened?" He asked. Was there no end to his questions!? "I am unaware. Just something that shook her up a bit, I suppose." I shrugged.
He frowned. "I shall have to make sure that she's all right." He decided out loud. "No, no, Legolas. I am sure that she is fine." I told him, laying a hand on his shoulder to steady him.
If Fay was avoiding of him (for whatever reason), then the last thing that she'd want was him appearing out of the blue to see her.
His face fell. "Oh. Okay, Aragorn. If you think that's best." He replied glumly.
I would have tried to soothe him further, but it was at that moment that the gates opened. Our guests had finally arrived.
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So how was it? Satisfactory?
We'll have to keep an eye on Fay, er, 'Ellewen'. I hope all the Elvish and everything wasn't too confusing. I tried to explain it as often as possible.
Anyway, for the next chap, you can look forward to: 1) Gandalf and the hobbits 2) Where Fay, ehem, 'Ellewen' is going w/ her self-conscious problems 3) How Legolas handles Fay avoiding him 4) Imaya and Soaria act even worse (if possible)
And I think that's it. Whew! *Wipes brow
Long chapter ^^
Hope ya liked
U + little 'review' button in bottom left corner= VERY happy me ^^
REVIEW!!
~* ElfPilot *~
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BTW, anything surround by little swirlys (Ex: ~la la la~) is Elvish ^^
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Ievandie: Don't worry, soon ^^
BlackStarDust: Yeah, that was pretty funny to write.
Laicalasse: Thanx. As much as we all hate Imaya and Soaria, they are imperative to the plot (oh well, at least they're good for SOMETHING, lol)
Siren: Thanx so much ^^ You kick big ass (
Mercury's Love: Long chapter? Long review!! Despite that fact that all your picking (at the chapter, that is) got me a little upset (ok, a lot upset) I'm not mad. It's not like you were flaming, and plus, u have a right to your opinion. So please, just go easy on me, k?
KK, thanx all! Review review review!! I wanna reach 100 ^^
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Fay's P.O,V,
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Damn Imaya and Soaria! Damn them to hell! I absolutely hate them!! And I hate my damn pride, too!
After the party, and the way Imaya shoved between Legolas and I, I had raced back to my room. I slammed the door, locked it, and flopped down on my bed. Crying would have made me feel SO much better, but damn my pride! I couldn't let myself do it! My lip trembled, my heart raced, my eyes got moist-but I couldn't let the tears fall. I pleaded with myself,
'Cry, Fay, just cry!'
And then I felt all the worse for talking to myself. Still, I wouldn't do it.
Andra knocked on my door. "Fay!" She called cheerily. "Go away." I mumbled. There was a pause on the other side of the door. "Fay, what's wrong?" She asked tenderly, like a loving mother would. "I'm not a morning person." I growled. There was another hesitant silence. "Please, Fay, what ails you?" She inquired. "Besides my reflection, nothing." I muttered sourly. "Your reflection?" She repeated, puzzled. "Yes!" I snapped irritably.
She sighed. "Come on Fay, the mistresses require council with you." She informed me. "Well that's too damn bad for them. I'm going nowhere." I grumbled. "Fay, will you at least unlock the door so that we may speak face to face? I believe everyone on the grounds can hear the conversation that we're having through your door." She pointed out. "Let them listen!" I hissed.
"Really, Fay. What's the matter? Please come out." She asked again. I could hear the patience in her voice fading. Still, I resisted. "I'm not coming out! No way, no how!" I barked. "Don't be silly," She laughed. But it was a nervous laugh. She was trying to disguise the worry rising in her voice. "Of course you're coming out." She stated. She was trying to assure herself, more than she was me. "You can think that all you want, but it doesn't make it true." I muttered. "Fay! This is becoming childish! Stop it!" Andra begged me. She rapped on the door with her knuckles to get my attention.
I felt sorry for her, sorry that I was putting her through this. Afterall, she hadn't done anything.
She continued to pound on my door. She was on the brink of delirium; I could hear the hysterics in her tone. "Please, please come out, Fay. You must meet with the ladies!" She persisted. "If I do, I can assure you that at least one of them will have a black eye!" I snapped.
I can't ever keep my anger in check. It simmers in my veins like a fire, boiling my blood. All that I can see is red. I've made myself bleed a few times, too. Once, I got so mad, I just kept hitting the wall, picturing the person's face. My friend saw me, though, and grabbed my wrists. They were bloody, mangled, and had to be bandaged for a week.
"Fay, you're going to be fired if you don't meet with them!" She insisted. "Who cares!!?" I'd shouted. There was a pause. "I do, Fay! We've just gotten to be friends, I don't want to lose you now!"
I felt bad again. I knew that being fired wasn't an option. For one thing, Andra would be hurt beyond words. I could never pain any of my friends like that-never!
For another thing, being fired would leave me broke and homeless. I would be a mere nobody on the streets. Why wouldn't I go back to the palace, you ask? Why wouldn't I ask Legolas to take me in, you wonder?
Seems logical, I know. But pride has control of me again! I am but a puppet on strings in Pride's clutches. After all the commotion that I've made about being independent, and not wanting to burden Legolas or anyone else in the palace, it would be SOO hypocritical for me to show up on his doorstep. I would be going against everything I'd ranted about for ages.
And besides, I would feel like a failure. Like one of those cheesy princesses that you read about. One who needs a knight in shining armor to save her.....
I am no princess. I am nobody. My hair, eyes, skin, and height make me blend in with everyone else here. You would never be able to pick me out of a crowd of elves. I hate my body, and the whole way that I look. I think I'm fat, and everything I wear shows it. I am no one special.
Andra's voice dragged me from my thoughts again. She was in tears, now. "Please, Fay! You'll be fired! I beg of you, meet with the ladies!!"
Sighing, I got off the bed. I glanced in the mirror quickly. My face was gaunt, and purple circles bagged under my eyes. I was pale (what else is new?), but my skin also held a strange tinge that was only there when I was sick. It was a mix of feverish red and nauseating green.
Sighing and reminding myself that I was still ugly, I opened the door.
Andra practically threw herself on me. "Praise be to the Valar!" She cried. Then she pulled back and eyed me. "By Elbereth, it look as though you've met with death himself!" She exclaimed. I groaned. "I know, I know. It's nothing different than usual, Andra. I always look like hell. Please don't remind me."
Concern clouded her eyes as I said this. "What do you mean that you always look bad?" She questioned. "I'm detestable!" I yelled. Her eyes went wide. "Whenever did you come up with such a ridiculous idea?" She demanded.
I'd glanced at her, and looked away. "It's not important. I have to go and see the mistresses now." I changed the subject, slipping from her grasp. I could feel the worry roll off her in waves and crash at my back. She knew that I was in a foul mood, but my comment about being ugly threw her off.
I reached the study of the sister Satans. I knocked once, and went in.
"Ah! Fay! About time you showed up!" Imaya sneered. I sighed and curtsied. "Good morning, mistresses." I nodded. Soaria wrinkled her nose. "Did you sleep with the pigs? You look even worse than usual." She commented. "If that's possible." Imaya added dryly. I sighed again. "No ma'am. What was it that you needed me for?" I questioned, changing the subject.
"I'm going to cut right to the chase." Imaya declared. "What WERE you doing, dancing with Prince Legolas at OUR party last night?" She demanded. I rolled my eyes. "Dancing, ma'am." I replied. Soaria scowled angrily. "Don't be pert, you insufferable wench! Be grateful that we don't toss you to the street!" She hollered, objects on the shelves shaking.
"Yes ma'am." I nodded, my voice monotone. "From hence forth, you are forbidden to attend any of our parties, do you hear me?" Imaya stated. "Yes ma'am." I nodded again, my face void of any emotion.
"Good. Now go get on with your chores." She ordered, waving me out the door. "Yes ma'am." I curtsied and headed for the door, thanking God that the meeting was so short. I spoke too soon.
"And Fay," Imaya called out sharply, just as I reached the doorknob. I grimaced, and turned to face them once more. "Yes?" I put on my best 'ignorant and innocent' face.
"You'd be best to stay away from the prince from now on." She warned. "Yes. The Prince doesn't want to be burdened with servant scum such as yourself." Soaria piped up. "Okay." I shrugged nonchalantly, and left. Ire was clouding my heart, but I forced it to stay in check. I would not let them get to me. I would not let them get to me. I WOULD NOT LET THEM GET TO ME! I would not sink to their level. I would not lower myself to their standards. They are below me.
I turned the corner, and found Andra waiting for me. "Well, how did it go?" She asked. I shrugged. "Fine. I am not allowed at any of their parties anymore." I announced. She gasped. "Why ever not?" She asked, eyes wide. I shrugged again. "Not sure. I wasn't really listening."
"Are you all right?" Andra questioned, lying her hand on my shoulder. I nodded. "Peachy. Why?" I replied. She eyed me skeptically, the shook her head, as though clearing thoughts. "Grab a cloak, we have market duties this morning." She informed me, changing the subject. I nodded. "Alright."
~*~*~*~
A short time later, we were wandering around a quaint village in Mirkwood. There were several little wooden stands, all advertising some product or another. Elves everywhere were shouting and hollering, trying to get attention from possible customers.
Andra and I just strolled, sometimes glancing at things that looked interesting. We were silent until she asked, "This morning, why did you say that you were atrocious?" She questioned suddenly.
I paused. "I don't know. I'm sorry. I suppose that I was just angry." I explained.
I knew that that reason was only half-true. For some time now. I had been feeling self-conscious when I looked into the mirror. Clothes didn't seem to fall right, and 'highlight my feminine curves' like they were supposed to. At first, I dismissed it as another one of those phases that teens go through.
But then it began to weigh more heavily on my mind. I decided that the idea was the product of reading too many cheesy romance novels, where the heroine was immaculately, flawlessly, beautiful. But now, now that I was among elves, uncertainty was rearing its ugly head.
When first I fell into Middle-Earth, I would simply gaze at the elves and think "God they're gorgeous...wait! Of course they are, they're elves!" And then I began comparing my looks to the maidens (A/N: You'll notice that she DOES compare herself with Imaya and Soaria when she first meets them in ch. 5, in like the 5th paragraph down).
But after last night, my subconscious was telling me that I wasn't good enough. Yes, that's right, even my subconscious was pitted against me.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
DREAM
~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Legolas and I were dancing. We were in a ballroom. No...wait. Not a ballroom; we were in a fantasy place. Everything was light and breezy, cheery and glittery. It was so perfect, it was unreal.
He smiled down at me, and I smiled back. His arms were so warm, I thought I'd melt.
Then, the ground started to shake, and crack. It split wide open between the feet of Legolas and I. We were pulled apart. I reached for him, but he didn't seem distressed. In fact, he appeared more than happy--- dancing with Imaya and Soaria. They had come from practically nowhere, and were shooting me smug looks.
"Legolas! Why!?" I yelled. Everything around me was wilting and dying. But everything near Legolas was still perfect, gorgeous. "Can't you see, Fay?" He scoffed. "They are so much better than you! You could never compare to them!" He motioned towards the ladies. "Absolutely!" Nodded Imaya. "Now why don't you go and finish cleaning the mud off our shoes?" Soaria smirked as she threw an arm around Legolas, who happily placed an arm around her waist.
And they all began laughing as the darkness closed in on me. It swallowed me, as I lay curled up on the ground.
~*~*~*~*~
END OF DREAM
~*~*~*~*~*
It was at that moment that I'd woken up. I knew that this whole self- conscious thing wasn't just a phase anymore.
All my anger at Imaya from last night was triggering it into a full-blown problem. Little did I know how much of a problem it would turn out to be...
"Fay? Fay!? Are you all right!?" Andra shook me. "Huh? What? Oh, yeah. I'm fine, Andra." I nodded. She let go of my shoulders. People walking by were casting us odd looks, but Andra obviously didn't care. "Fay, you're really beginning to scare me! What's happened? What's wrong?" She questioned, worry lines forming on her brow.
My eyebrow rose. "What are you talking about?" I asked. She sighed. "Fay, I couldn't find you at the party last night, and had to ask everyone where you went. I finally found you in your room, still fully clothed, asleep on your bed," " I was tired!" I interrupted. She scowled and I piped down.
"Then," She continued. "I go to get you up this morning, and your door's locked. After nearly an hour of begging and pleading, you finally come out. You are in a complete state of disarray, and when I ask you why, you go off on a whole ranting about how ugly you are. Then, you just stood there while Imaya and Soaria insulted you, and now you're asking me why I think you're not well." She finished, exasperated.
"So?" I mumbled. "UH!" She threw her hands up in defeat. "I give in! Whatever the problem is, you're obviously NOT going to discuss it, and I, for one, am not going to waste my whole day begging you!" She snapped, finally at the breaking point.
I stood there, silent. I stared at my boots, which suddenly seemed very interesting. "Sorry." I apologized. She sighed, getting herself under control once more, and glaring at curious onlookers whom had heard her sudden outburst. They scurried away from her gaze, and continued with what they had been doing.
She turned her attention back to me. "It's okay. I'm just...concerned for you. You're like a sister to me. My ~onoone~." She cooed in Elvish. "What does that mean?" I questioned. "Blood-kin." She replied. "And that's Sindarin?" I questioned.
We were strolling through the market again. "No. That's Quenya. The Sindarin word for 'sister' is ~ser'noth~, but I like ~onoone~ better. It's so much prettier, and so much deeper." She grinned. I smiled. "~Onoone~..." The word rolled off my tongue smoothly. I paused.
"Andra, how can you consider me to be your blood-kin, if we are not related?" I questioned. She grinned. "Would you like to be?" She smirked. My eyebrows crossed with puzzlement. "How?" I inquired.
Grinning, she pulled me into a discreet ally. "We can share blood." She whispered. My eyes went wide. "What? How?"
She chuckled at my questions, and produced a very small dagger from her basket. She held out her finger, and gently pricked the tip of it with her dagger. Smiling, I held out my finger as well. The small steel blade pinched it. "Now..." She took my finger, and pressed mine to hers. The ruby droplets mingled, and were as one for those brief moments.
I watched in awe, and a warm feeling flooded me. She pulled away. "Not so hard, hmm ~onoone~?" She smiled. "No." I grinned.
We began walking through the marketplace again. The dagger was once more tucked under the bundles of Andra's basket. "You know," She smiled. "Now that we are ~ser'noths~," "Sisters." I interrupted, translating. She grinned. "Yes, sisters. We should give you an Elvish name." She declared. I paused. "Really? That would be so cool!" I exclaimed.
She frowned. "Cool? Why would it be cold?" She questioned. I laughed. "Cool is slang for neat or great or interesting." I explained. "Oh." She nodded. "What are you going to name me!?" I inquired happily.
She pursed her lips, and her hand rose to meet her chin. She was thinking, watching her feet as we walked. "Ellewen!" She declared finally.
"Ellewen..." I let the name roll off my tongue slowly. "How lovely. I like it." I agreed. She grinned. "Good. And now, my dear Ellewen, we ~onoone~ must select fresh fruits for the kitchen." She grinned, glancing at a small stand with apples and other Middle-earthen fruits that I couldn't recognize.
"Just pick the ones with the least amount of brown spots." Andra instructed. "Yes ~ser'noth~." I nodded. She glanced at me, and we began giggling.
The elf running the stand glanced at us curiously. "Sister?" he repeated. "You two are sisters?" He questioned. We glanced at each other, and began giggling again. "We'll take these." Andra declared, placing a pile of pear- like fruits in front of the clerk. "Alright." He stated the price, which was paid, and we began walking through the marketplace once more.
"Andra, now that we are sisters," I started, but stopped, hesitating. "Go on." She urged. "I would like to talk to you about this morning." I stated. She smiled. "Certainly."
I took a deep breath. "Andra...do you think I'm overweight, or , or ugly, even?" I questioned, stammering. Her eyes went wide. "Is that what this is about? You think you're ugly?" She realized. "Well, sorta." I replied timidly. "Oh, Ellewen..." She murmured comfortingly, enveloping me in a hug.
"Why do you think that?" She questioned, stepping back slightly, and looking me in the eye. "All you Elves are so beautiful, and I...I am an imposter." I muttered. "I could never compare to any of you." I sighed, and slumped against a nearby wall.
"Fay, you know that's not true! You're lovely! Why, just last night, in that gown-oh! You were exquisite! A sheer image of beauty!" She assured me, a comforting hand on my shoulder. "Andra, that was a BALL." I growled. "So?" She asked. "EVERYONE looks good at a ball! I mean, did you see some of them? They were perfect, Andra, =perfect=!!" I snapped.
She sighed. "Ellewen...."
"Greetings!" Someone called. The two of us looked up and saw Aragorn and Gimli standing there. Nobody said anything. "Did we interrupt something?" Aragorn questioned. "Well Fay was just saying..." Andra started, but I slapped a hand over her mouth. "~Ser'noth~!" I hissed. She grinned sheepishly. "Nope. Nothing interesting happening here." She grinned at them.
They glanced at us skeptically, but shrugged it off. "So what are you ladies up to?" Gimli asked. "Shopping." I answered. Gimli snorted. "Why do you women love to spend money so much?" He muttered. Andra and I glanced at each other, and began laughing again.
Gimli clapped his hands over his ears. "And giggling!" He bellowed. "All you females do is shop and giggle!" He exclaimed unhappily. I clapped him on the back. "So sorry, Master Dwarf. We will cease." I announced. "Good." He nodded.
"So what are YOU two doing out and about?" I questioned, raising an eyebrow at them. "We were headed to the main gates to meet some friends of ours." Aragorn informed me. "Really? Anyone I know?" I asked. Gimli shrugged. "Unless you know Gandalf the White Wizard, and a handful of Hobbits, I doubt it." He replied.
"Hobbits?" Andra spoke up. "You mean the halflings?" She questioned. Aragorn nodded.
I, personally, was thinking back to the books, and realized that the whole fellowship was coming together for a reunion (minus Boromir, of course). "Having a get-together are we?" I smirked. "Yes. They're coming to celebrate Legolas's birthday." Aragorn nodded.
"I thought that was a while ago." I frowned in confusion. "It was. But they didn't receive word of it until recently." He explained. I nodded.
"You should come and meet them!" Gimli declared suddenly. Andra's eyes got wide. "Meet the rest of the fellowship!" She breathed in excited anticipation. "We should, Ellewen, we really should go!" She smiled, shaking my arm.
"Who's Ellewen?" Aragorn inquired. "Me. Andra and I are now ~onoone~, so she has given me an Elvish name." I answered. "What is ~onoone~?" Gimli asked. "Blood-kin." Strider replied. I nodded. "Quite the pact." He observed. "Yes." I agreed.
"Nevermind all that blood rubbish!" Gimli hollered. "We must go meet the hobbits!" He stamped his feet impatiently. "Yes, yes! Come on, Ellewen, let's go, ~ser'noth~!" Andra cried.
I wanted to go, I really did. The hobbits seemed absolutely adorable. But yet, some part of me resisted.
"I don't know, ~onoone~," I puzzled. "What time are we expected back?" I questioned. "We have as long as we need to shop!" She replied hastily. I wasn't sure I believed that. It seemed WAY out of character for Imaya or Soaria to let any of their maids wander through the market all day.
"The elf will be there!" Gimli urged, wiggling his eyebrows up and down. I laughed at his antics. But that was all he had to say. Now that I knew that Legolas would be there, I REALLY didn't want to go.
"No, no. You should go Andra. I'm afraid that I don't feel well, of a sudden. Will I meet you back in quarters?" I asked. She frowned. "You are unwell?" She repeated. "Does it have anything to do with...this morning?" She questioned, glancing at a curious Aragorn and Gimli.
"No, no, no. Okay, well, a little...yes. " I stuttered. She sighed. "Come, Ellewen. We shall return home then." She sighed again, taking a hold of my arm in a motherly fashion.
"Are you all right?" Aragorn asked, searching my face for some sign. "Yes, I'm sure that I'll be fine." I nodded. "As you wish. We shall tell Master Elf that you wanted to come, but are indisposed." Gimli announced.
"Thank you. Hope to see you all later!" I waved, and Andra and I walked off. I hoped they didn't suspect anything.
~*~*~*~*~
ARAGORN'S P.O.V.
~*~*~*~*~
I suspected something. Last night, I'd watched Legolas and Fay dance. I could see a passion between them. Fay had gazed at Legolas as though he was a god, and someone to be both feared and adored.
Legolas had returned her gaze, seeing her as a lovely maiden whom he should definitely keep an eye on.
Fay blushed whenever Legolas was near, and he smiled a lot. He also got somewhat chatty, which was unusual for my timid elf friend.
Fay seemed to be adjusting well to life in Mirkwood. She was obviously a very close friend with that she-elf, Andra. They had only known each other a short time, and yet already they were bound in blood. Andra even gave Fay an Elvsih name, I recalled.
What was it? Elliwer? Ellaner? No, no. It was Ellewen. Yes that was it. Actually, that was a nice Elvish name.
I remember when I'd gotten mine. Ellessar. What a memorable moment.
Andra and 'Ellewen' kept calling each other ~ser'noth~, which was Sindarin for 'sister', and ~onoone~, which was Quenya for 'blood-kin'. Yes, they were indeed close.
This was also obvious when they began hinting at something that happened that morning. As soon as Fay, or, erm *cough 'Ellewen', mentioned it, Andra became worried. I couldn't help but wonder what it was. Both were quite shaken up about it, I could see.
Also strange was that, when Gimli mentioned Legolas, I saw something in Fay's eyes that was quite out of place. Fear, anxiety, dread. Was she scared of Legolas? Why? Perhaps he had something to do with whatever had happened that morning? I could only wonder.
Gimli (who babbled incessantly) and I finally reached the front gates of Mirkwood. Legolas was already waiting. "There you are!" He exclaimed. "Wherever have you been?" He questioned. "We were delayed by that lass you're partial to. She and her friend were in the marketplace." Gimli replied.
"Lass that I'm partial to?" Legolas repeated, puzzled. "Who is that?" He asked. "That girl! Oh what's her name..." Gimli shook his head, frustrated. "Which one?" I muttered. "She has two names now." pointed out. "Two names?" Legolas's eyebrows rose with confusion. "What ARE you two talking about?" He inquired.
"We saw Fay and Andra in the market." I answered. "Oh." The look didn't fade. "What's wrong?" I questioned. "Who has two names?" He asked. "Oh, that." I nodded. "Andra gave Fay an elvish name." I explained. "What was it? Why did she do that?" He pressed. "The name was Ellewen. She gave it to her because they mixed their blood and are now blood sisters."
"Ellewen..." He marveled. "Yes, yes. Master Elf, keep your jaw off the ground. The others shall be here any moment." Gimli muttered. Legolas gave him a warm grin. "Of course Master Dwarf. Just as you would have it." He chuckled. Gimli went back to gazing at the gates.
Legolas turned to me, dropping his voice to a low whisper so as not to disturb the dwarf. "If you met them, why did you not invite them along? I'm sure that Mithrandir and the halflings would have been thrilled to meet them." He stated. I swallowed. Should I tell Legolas about the emotions that flew through Fay's eyes at the mention of his name? No.
"They were going to come, but Fay fell ill at the last moment." I explained, just like I'd promised I would. "Fell ill? Is she all right?" He asked, digging for more information. "Yes. She seemed out of sorts due to an event that happened this morning." I informed him. "What happened?" He asked. Was there no end to his questions!? "I am unaware. Just something that shook her up a bit, I suppose." I shrugged.
He frowned. "I shall have to make sure that she's all right." He decided out loud. "No, no, Legolas. I am sure that she is fine." I told him, laying a hand on his shoulder to steady him.
If Fay was avoiding of him (for whatever reason), then the last thing that she'd want was him appearing out of the blue to see her.
His face fell. "Oh. Okay, Aragorn. If you think that's best." He replied glumly.
I would have tried to soothe him further, but it was at that moment that the gates opened. Our guests had finally arrived.
~*~*~*~*~*~
So how was it? Satisfactory?
We'll have to keep an eye on Fay, er, 'Ellewen'. I hope all the Elvish and everything wasn't too confusing. I tried to explain it as often as possible.
Anyway, for the next chap, you can look forward to: 1) Gandalf and the hobbits 2) Where Fay, ehem, 'Ellewen' is going w/ her self-conscious problems 3) How Legolas handles Fay avoiding him 4) Imaya and Soaria act even worse (if possible)
And I think that's it. Whew! *Wipes brow
Long chapter ^^
Hope ya liked
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