Declining Grace

Chapter Five

Saturday

Delainia was sulking and she was well aware of that fact. She had absolutely no idea what had brought on her melancholy mood. Things at home weren't any different; worse or better. Kaleen seemed to be adjusting to the new school, especially since she'd been invited to that little girl's birthday party that was taking place the next night. Her father hadn't changed much at all. He still refused to accept that she had grown any older, that he had another daughter, and that his wife had been long dead by the time of his return. He seemed content to sit alone in the house, wondering why things were different. Delainia didn't have the energy or the time to fix her father's problems. She had enough responsibility completing her work and taking care of Kaleen. She already had no social life. She couldn't give anything more up without giving a piece of her soul with it. Still, that didn't seem to be what had caused her mood to dip into depression-land. Nothing new seemed to be happening that would cause it. Except for the invitation Nikki had given her to join their study group that she had turned down. Study groups were like the universal way of allowing someone into a clique. She would have been able to have some kind of friendship at school, even if she couldn't do anything outside of the campus with them. She would have some kind of regular contact with people her own age who were completely sane-well, somewhat sane-and it wouldn't all be about schoolwork. She would have friends, something she'd lost the day her father disappeared. Maybe that was the cause of the new outlook on life. Her father's return and the subsequent stress it put on her made her feel like she was trapped in a glass bowl that she couldn't swim her way out of. It was one thing to take care of Kaleen. She was an angel most of the time, and she didn't mind caring for her little sister. It was just too much to have to watch over a grown man as well. She couldn't stay with him all day, every day. She couldn't let his break from reality break her away from it. She had already been through plenty and she was seventeen. She wasn't wallowing in self-pity, though her thoughts really made that statement questionable. She was just remembering her life. Her mother had come to her one cold, rainy London evening and said her father wasn't coming home. Her father had disappeared. Coral had never said that Patrick had left them, deserted them, left them in the lurch. He had just disappeared. Now that Delainia thought about it, her mother had never given up hope that her father would return to her. In a way, it was heartbreaking. Her mother had never seen her faith come to life when Patrick had returned. In another way, it was a blessing that her mother didn't see the man her father had become. Delainia was grateful that her mother missed seeing the lost look in her father's emerald green eyes, but the pressure was a little too much for her. She just wanted to have a day off from pain and suffering. Delainia allowed a small smile to form on her face. She sounded like a soap opera in her head. She had to stop soaking up her own self-pity. She complained about not having a life, but going over her current one wasn't going to help the situation. Particularly since she had zoned out during the middle of completing her English worksheet. She bit on her bottom lip as she poised her pen over the paper again, ready to work. That's when she felt the eyes on her. She looked up and saw Shawn, who was almost turned around in his chair, his head propped up on his hand, staring at her. She started to smile self-consciously though the pleasure of catching him watching her showed on her face. Shawn glanced away quickly, but he brought his eyes back up to meet hers. And then he winked at her. Delainia nearly giggled like a schoolgirl. She did not giggle. She was not a giggler. At least she hadn't been, until now. Delainia shifted in her seat and turned her attention back onto the paper.

The bell's shrill ring brought Delainia out of her deeply concentrated state. She slid the paper into her folder, which went into her messenger bag. She was a little slow getting started; after all, she hated her next class. She wanted to avoid being there for as long as possible. Besides, she wanted to miss the mad rush in the hallways of everyone running to their next class. She stood up slowly and jumped when she felt a hand touch her shoulder. She turned around and saw Shawn standing there. He had an unusually easy smile on his face, wiping the tortured-artist-I'm-so-misunderstood look off of his face. She watched him with a bit of open fascination, which would have embarrassed her in most situations, but at the moment she seemed oblivious to the fact of what she was doing.
"Hey. I didn't mean to scare you."
Delainia shrugged carelessly as she lifted her purse off of her desk. She started to walk to the door, Shawn trailing behind her.

"It's not a big deal. I've kind of been living in Delainia-world today, so it's probably my fault that I startled so easily today. You could have been shouting my name and I would have missed it."

Shawn laughed at her joke as he tried to match her confident stride. The Delainia of yesterday, unsure and a little lonely, had disappeared and the secure, positive Delainia had returned. He liked both, to be honest, but he'd never admit that to her.

"I think I'd like to live in Delainia-world someday."

Delainia's eyebrows shot up amusedly and her lips quirked upwards.

"That sounded like a pick up line, Shawn. I'd work on it, though it is an improvement to 'stop staring at me for being a freak'."

Shawn shook his head and held up his hands in mock surrender. He then put his hands in his back pockets as he walked Delainia down the hall. They didn't have much time before class started, and Shawn was going out of his way to get Delainia to hers. Not that he had to walk her to her class, but he wanted to ask her to go out with him and Nikki and Danny before he lost the nerve. He'd seen her reaction to his staring in Literature. She seemed happy that he was watching her. Maybe she even liked him a little bit. He loved his delusions and he intended to hold on to them for as long as he could, even if it was only a few moments before she crushed his hopes when he did finally ask her out. Delainia continued walking ahead of him, as if she'd forgotten he was following her. That was a blow to a boy's ego, but he could get over it.

"It really wasn't a pick up line. I just think your world would be fascinating to live in. You know, the whole a-day-in-the-life-of kind of thing. Of course, in my opinion, anyone's life is better than my life."

"Self-pity really isn't cool. Believe me, I've just wallowed in it for the last hour. Some people's lives are better and some are worse. It's all depending on the perspective. You've dealt fairly well with returning. Others haven't."
"Others like who?"

Delainia shrugged, any hint of amusement and pleasure gone from her face. She was gnawing on her bottom lip again. Third time that day he'd counted it. She must really like the taste of her lip-gloss. Shawn watched her as she shut down. He felt a good deal of self-recrimination for causing that reaction.

"Why are you following me? You're class is on the other side of the school."

"You know where my next class is? Stalking me?"

"Don't flatter yourself."
Shawn sighed, "I've done it again it seems."
"Done what?"

"Made you mad. Listen. I was just wanting to start a conversation with you because I wanted to ask you what you were doing tomorrow night?"

"Tortured artist not working on the other girls?"

"Not hardly. Seriously, though, Nikki, Danny, and I were going to go see a movie. Me, I feel like a third wheel when I'm with my brother and his girlfriend, so it'd be nice if I had someone else to counteract that feeling. Since no one else will even talk to me…"

"Oh, so I'm last resort. You're doing a smashing job of asking me out, you know."

"Yeah. I know. I actually had it all planned out. But everything went downhill with the bad pick up line."

That sentence received a grin as she shrugged. "I usually take care of my sister."

"You've mentioned that before."
"But-well…she has a birthday party to go to tomorrow night. I could get away from the house for a few hours. It's just to see a movie, right?"

"Yeah. Just a movie."
"Okay. I'll go." Delainia felt a weight lifting off her shoulders. She was finally accepting someone's invitation to participate. She was going to have a life. Kaleen would be okay at that birthday party. Kaleen wouldn't be alone with their father who didn't even acknowledge her. It was okay to have a life outside the family. Suddenly, the bell rang once more, alerting all the students that they should be in their seats. Delainia's eyes flashed as she walked over the threshold of her classroom. She gave Shawn a small wave as the door shut behind her, leaving him standing alone in the hallway, at least three minutes away from his class.

Delainia sat on her oak dresser, her legs criss-crossed as she applied her mascara. She hated to admit that she was nervous, even though she knew that this movie thing was not a date. It was a group of friends going out together to see a nice choice of entertainment. But whom was she kidding? She'd been attracted to Shawn Farrell since the day she'd laid eyes on him and the girl deep inside of her wished that this was a date. She wanted to delude herself into believing that it was. She smoothed her favorite pink lipstick over her lips as Kaleen entered, dressed up for her own party.

"Can I wear some of your lip gloss, Laini?"

"No. You're eight."
"Drusilla wears lipstick."

"Then her mother is insane."

Kaleen sighed angrily and collapsed dramatically onto Delainia's bed. She pulled her legs up to her chin and rested it on her knees. She studied her sister warily.
"You're crabby."
"I'm not crabby."

"Are too."
Delainia rolled her eyes while she clasped her necklace over her throat.
"I'm not getting in a fight with you, Kaleen. Now, would you like to wear one of my bracelets or are you going to keep being a brat?"

Kaleen's blue eyes lit up as she jumped off the bed so she could run to the jewelry drawer in Delainia's dresser. She pulled the drawer open with great excitement and began thumbing through the different pieces in it. She looked at each one carefully before making her selection.

"Are you goin' on a date, Laini?"

"Why do you ask?"
"You're crabby and then you're nice. You're wearing more make up. And you're wearing a fancy shirt."

"I wear shirts like this all the time, Kaleen."

"Not all the time. Am I right? Is a boy coming to pick you up?"

"Yes. Along with his brother and his girlfriend. So it's not like it's just us."
"No. It's a double date."

Delainia sighed loudly, knowing she had just fueled her sister's imagination. She could imagine the stories Kaleen was making up in her head for this situation. She slid down off the dresser and smoothed her ruffled skirt.
"It's not a double date, either, Sweet. I'm just going out with some friends."

Kaleen tugged on her arm and reached up to brush Delainia's long black hair back from her face with sisterly admiration.

"You look pretty."

"So do you."

Kaleen bit her lip, an apparent hereditary sign of nervousness. She fidgeted even though she was unaware of her own movement.

"We'll both have a good time, Kaleen. Don't worry. Now, Maia's baby-sitter is taking you both to the party, right?"

"Yep and Ms. Skouris is supposed to be back from her business trip when it's over, so she'll pick us up from Drusilla's."

"Okay." Delainia leaned down and kissed her Kaleen's forehead. She winked at her as the doorbell rang.

"You'll be great, Kaleen. Everyone will love you."

Kaleen didn't seem too sure of Delainia's statement as she walked almost dreadfully to the door. Delainia was amazed that her sister could go from excitement to dread in zero point two seconds, but then again, she was doing the same for her double-date-group-friend-movie thing. Delainia watched as Kaleen left with Maia, who looked even wearier than Delainia felt. That was never a good sign. The psychic was worried.

Diana sighed as she tossed Jensen Longtree's file across the desk. He had been out of town yesterday when another woman was taken. Diana and Tom had also been away, interviewing uncooperative New Yorkers when it had happened. They had immediately checked on the whereabouts of every suspect and Longtree was in Hawaii at the time. His alibi was airtight. The disappointment Diana felt wasn't from narrowing down the list. The disappointment was from not being able to remove Patrick Grace from it. She could see his daughters, brave and alone in the world except for each other, and she wanted to make things easier for them. Suspecting their father of odd kidnappings was not the way to do that. Diana wondered if maybe she should remove herself from the case. She was obviously too close to the case; Maia's little friend was around all the time. Still, she wanted to help ease the pain of an investigation that would inevitably fall upon the Grace household. Maybe she could work the friendship to her advantage, insist on meeting Kaleen's father due to the code of parenting. Then, she could ask him questions without letting the girls know what was happening. She liked that plan. Diana pulled her black hair back into a couple of hair clips to get it out of her eyes. Tonight was going to be a long night. Maia was at a birthday party, so she would be occupied for a little while. Diana would be able to put in some extra hours at the office. She liked working late-the hazards of being a workaholic. She pulled her legs up into the chair and settled in for a nice, quiet reading of the files. Then, the phone rang.

Kaleen had cried at first, the pain of being outcast and betrayed still fresh in her mind. Maia hadn't cried. Maia had stood calmly and held her hand while Kaleen pulled the dramatics. Kaleen had eventually seen how strong her friend was, who had been through just as much as she had, and decided to react in the same manner. Now they sat side-by-side on the curb outside Drusilla's house, a sort of shell-shocked expression on their faces. A car pulled up and Maia perked up slightly. Diana unlocked the doors and the two girls slid in silently. Diana was instantly worried about it. Maia hadn't said much on the phone, just that they needed to be picked up from the birthday party early. She hadn't pried, either, figuring the girls had just ended up being bored at the party. Now, she wasn't so sure. She had seen Maia solemn before. She usually was. But Kaleen was rarely as quiet or serious as Maia. Diana merged onto the road and allowed the car ride to go by in silence. Kaleen was staring blankly out the window, black hair falling out of a messy ponytail. She was fiddling with a pink bracelet on her wrist. Maia stared straight ahead with only her dirty blond hair to shield her face. Diana's heart broke at the sight of them.
"What happened?"

"Nothing." Maia said sullenly. She sounded like a teenager. The usually optimistic child was nowhere to be seen with only this pessimistic, depressed girl in her place.

"I don't believe that."

"They wanted to see if I was really a psychic."

"How does that work?" Diana asked cautiously, knowing she didn't want to hear the answer.

"They didn't want me to come. Kaleen, either. They wanted to see if I knew they didn't want me there, and they wanted to see if I knew what would happen at the party."

"Your not psychic, Maia."

"Mhm."

"You've never let what anyone else thought bother you before."

"It's not that, Diana." Maia hid her head and refused to say anymore. Diana gave her more space, due to the feeling that Maia was keeping something hidden. Something she didn't want Kaleen to hear. She would wait until they dropped Kaleen off at the house. She had wondered when Maia had called if this would be the opportunity to speak with Patrick Grace. She didn't think it was, not anymore. Kaleen already had enough to deal with.

"Kaleen, is your sister already at home?"

"No, she went on a date. "

Diana waited for her to elaborate, but received no more to the story. Diana pulled out her cell phone and had Kaleen dial the number for her. She waited until Delainia answered, quietly explained the situation while trying her best not to rub it into the girls' already injured egos. Then she hung up as they pulled in front of the Grace house.

"Delainia said she would be home in a few minutes. Will you be okay in there alone, Kaleen?"

"My dad's home." Kaleen opened the door and gave one last forlorn look at Maia, who returned the look. Then the door slammed shut and Kaleen strode to the door. Diana watched to make sure she got inside all right. Then, she turned to look at Maia.

"What really happened?"

"I told you. They wanted to see if I was psychic. They were disappointed I wasn't."

Motherly protectiveness flowed through Diana's veins. It was odd really, her maternal feelings. She had never thought she would be or want to be a mother. Motherhood wasn't in her plans. She was an agent of Homeland Security, a scientist. That was her life. But since she'd met Maia, she suddenly had more fulfillment. Her life wasn't just work anymore. She had a little girl to watch over and she loved the responsibility. She loved Maia like she was her own daughter.

"That is cruel of them to use you as a novelty and it's horrible that they are putting that amount of pressure on you to be different. You can't control your gift and it's terrible that they are trying to make you. You can't be expected to-"

The look in Maia's wide brown eyes stopped her short. Three words chilled her to the core.

"I did know."

Diana nearly dropped her keys in her lap. She stared at Maia for a long while before turning around. Maia stared at her just as evenly, her look pained and subdued. Dozens of questions entered Diana's head as she watched the little girl. Why did Maia go to the party then? Why didn't she protect Kaleen from the pain? Why didn't she protect herself from the pain? Why didn't she tell someone what was going to happen? Why did she allow it to happen? Was that why Maia was more subdued, instead of upset, about the situation? Diana sighed as she tried to push the unanswered questions from her mind. She started the car and didn't ask any of the questions that floated around in her head. Maia didn't explain and she wouldn't have to. She could protect Maia from that much, at least, especially since she was powerless to stop others from hurting Maia.

Delainia started to laugh care freely as she and Shawn exited the movie theater. All she could see was Danny and Nikki making out in the back row of the theater and Shawn shifting with discomfort at the display of affection. She didn't think it was jealousy of Danny's girlfriend, she thought it was just the surreal scene of watching his brother making out with someone. Shawn had finally whispered for them to leave the theater, since neither of them was really watching the movie anyway. So Delainia had agreed and the two had ditched the rest of the movie and the hormonally charged teenagers.

"That was hilarious." Delainia said lightly.
"It was disgusting."

"Come on, it was funny. You have to admit it."

"No. It was horrible. Watching them go from learning to crawl to crawling all over each other is hardly my idea of fun. It's like watching a train wreck. I guess things haven't changed that much since I was seventeen."

Delainia chuckled lightly and spun out into the moonlight. She wrapped her jacket closer to her body as the wind picked up around her. It sent her hair flying into interesting patterns around her head, but she didn't seem to mind that her perfect coiffure was now messed up. Shawn stayed under the streetlight, content to watch a carefree Delainia. He had never seen her so lighthearted and he liked it. Maybe Delainia was more comfortable away from school and he'd never had the chance to see it before.

"Okay, one, you're still seventeen, Shawn. Two, you turned seventeen three years ago, so even if you were twenty, things would still be the same."

He laughed as she reached out for his arm and pulled him out to her odd dance in the moonlight. He stood there awkwardly, as if he wasn't sure what to do. He wasn't going to dance, not in public without any music. It just wasn't something he would do. Of course, constraints of society were annoying, especially when Delainia seemed so ready to reject them, but he wasn't ready to just throw caution to the wind. Ah, he should be a writer of romance novels with thoughts like that.

"You're crazy, you know that. People can see you."
"People stare. You know that better than anyone." She smiled brightly, but she did stop her little escapade around the parking lot. Shawn found a curb to sit on and he slid down in a fluid motion. Delainia stayed standing, but she had collected herself to a degree. She waited for him to say something. Sadly, Shawn wasn't sure what to say. He didn't know what to talk about. School? That was hardly interesting. Family life? Always seemed to be a touchy subject. Her earlier life? No. She even hid that she was British. She probably wouldn't be forthcoming in information about herself. Her sister?

"You've mentioned your sister several times. What's her name?"

Delainia brightened considerably at the mention of her little sister. Sure, she was cumbersome sometimes when it came to having a life, but she adored the girl. She was bright, pretty, and personable, though here in Seattle, people seemed to be missing that last fact.

"Kaleen. She's eight."
"Do your parents work a lot? I mean, you said you take care of her."

Delainia broke her gaze away from Shawn and stared down at her pointed toed shoes. She clicked the heels on the pavement as if she thought the clicking would send her home like Dorothy in the Wizard of Oz. Of course, it did no good, but it did change her movement.

"My mom died a couple years ago. And my dad-he, well-"

Her cell phone began to vibrate and light up. Delainia hesitated as she considered completing her confession or answering the phone. She looked down at the caller ID and saw that it was Diana Skouris' number. She pulled the phone up to her ear immediately while pressing the talk button.

"Hello?"

Shawn quieted as he folded his hands in his lap in front of him. He checked the digital clock above the movie screenings and saw that it was 8:37 PM. Not late, by any stretch of the imagination. Maybe he could talk Delainia into going to the coffeehouse after Nikki and Danny got out of the movie. Things seemed to be going well. Nikki loved having another girl in the group and Danny was happy because Nikki was happy. Shawn had always known Delainia had the potential to be quite sweet if he didn't provoke her and he had been right. Delainia was delightful company. He dropped his head into his knees, trying to avoid eavesdropping on Delainia's conversation. Eavesdropping was bad. But he couldn't help but hear it.

"You have to be kidding me. I never knew eight-year-olds could be such-such-Ohhhhhh…" Delainia let out a groan. "I can't even think of a word, I'm so mad. Was she okay? I mean like an I-know-I'm-better-than-all-those-other-girls-and-I-can't-let-them-get-to-me-okay, or an I'm-sucking-it-up-so-I-can-go-cry-alone-in-my-room-okay?"

Delainia hardly waited for an answer, "Thank you for picking her up and for letting me know, Ms. Skouris. I'm on my way home now."

Delainia disconnected the phone and dropped it into her purse. Her eyes held an unimaginable amount of pain in them and she looked like she wanted to cry.

"I have to go home. Now."

"What's wrong?"

"The girl who asked Kaleen and Maia to the birthday party, Drusilla, she wasn't asking them to the party because she liked them. She invited them because Maia is somewhat of a novelty since she's a 4400 and they thought they'd play see if the psychic knows what we're really thinking. It was all a game. Kaleen found out and is crushed. Maia's just hurt by what they did. And because Kaleen's hurt."

"Maia Rutledge?"
"Yeah. You know her?"

"She's one of us. I know that much. And she's sweet."

"She is. I have to get home and see Kaleen. She's going to be miserable for days."

Delainia bit back tears as she thought of her sister's face. What did she do to deserve all the stuff that had happened to her? She was eight! Life should still be all fluff and innocence, cartoons and fun. Why wasn't it ever for the Graces?

"Okay. I'll leave a message with Danny and Nikki that we've gone."

"No. That's okay. I'll just grab a cab. You should stay here."
"No. I really can take you home."
"No, thank you. I had a nice time tonight, Shawn. Thank you for inviting me out. I felt -" She searched for the right word. "I felt normal."
Shawn cocked his head at her comment, but Delainia ignored it. She turned away from him and went running towards the street as tears stung at her eyes. This shouldn't have happened. Not to Kaleen. And now Kaleen was going to be beyond repair in the self-esteem department for a while and she was going to be pining over some guy that she didn't have time for. Friends complicated things. She knew that. She should have known better. She had learned that a long time ago when everyone had deserted her the day her mother had died. She had responsibilities and reliance on others just wasn't a possibility.

Delainia slammed the door and rushed into the living room. Her father sat in the chair, fascinated by the unlit fireplace in the center of the room. She didn't even greet her father as she hurried into her sister's bedroom. Kaleen was curled into a tiny ball, the blanket their mother had made wrapped around her. She was sobbing into the blanket, trying to stifle the sounds. Delainia rushed to the bed and pulled Kaleen into her lap. She rocked her sister without saying anything to her. She just comforted the poor girl. Kaleen buried her head into Delainia's shoulder, alternately wailing and sniffling. Delainia pressed gentle kisses in her sister's hair to soothe her. She would do anything to get Kaleen to stop crying. Finally, she did, but she stayed clutched onto Delainia.

"What happened, pet?"

Kaleen hiccupped and tried to breathe deeply. She seemed to be at a loss for words.

"They didn't want us there. They wanted to see if Maia was really psychic, because they said if she were she would know that we weren't wanted there. And since we went, they-they…."

A fresh floodgate of tears opened and Kaleen buried her face in tighter. She mumbled into it, "It's not fair, Laini. They were so mean."

"I know."

"No. You have friends. I only have Maia."

"I know that you only have Maia, but if you ask me, Maia's pretty good to have around. And I hardly have tons of friends. I have three, at most, and even then we're not exactly friends."

"At least people aren't mean to you."

"That's true. Listen, Kaleen, you can't let them get to you. You're better and stronger than that. Kids are cruel and careless in what they say. You have to accept that. You are one of the sweetest, most intelligent little girls I know. You're better than them. And so is Maia."

Kaleen shook her head in denial. Delainia had never felt so angry at a bunch of eight-year-olds. She wasn't exactly sure what had happened, but they had really done a number on her little sister. Kaleen's self-esteem was now well below healthy and she had no idea how to raise it. She didn't know how to help her sister fit in, she was an outcast herself. How did she fix the world for Kaleen? If she could just help Kaleen adjust better than she was, she would be happy. It was times like these that she missed Coral. Coral always knew how to fix problems. She always knew how to put everything in perspective. Her mother had a special talent for making life seem magical. Delainia had no clue how to do it.

"I wish Mummy was here." Kaleen whispered suddenly.

"I wish Mum was here, too." Delainia cuddled into her sister's hair, trying her best not to feel hopeless. Now was not the time. She had to be tough for Kaleen's sake. Kaleen needed someone to be her rock. She was nominated, not that she minded caring for her sister. She just didn't have time to dwell on what they were missing. She had to put things in perspective for Kaleen; the way Coral had always done for her. No amount of wishing would bring their mother back. She would have to learn how to do it herself because Kaleen deserved the same perceptions and chances that Delainia had had when she was eight. She would try her best to fill her mum's shoes, even if it was hard to walk in them.