TKS: Requiem of the Show Not Broadcasted
By: -Kalabora-
Episode 002: Smoking Tail
Good evening. Here for you viewing pleasure is The Kalabora Show!
The screen shows Kalabora sitting at his desk.
Kalabora: Hello, ladies and gentlemen. Tonights guest are Vegeta from Dragon Ball Z and Lois of Family guy. But, first we have an update on Squalls location.
Kalabora claps and the T.V. comes down.
Kalabora: Using our patented "Where are you?" technology we can see Squalls location on this screen.
Kalabora turns on the T.V. a strange diagram with a small blinking red dot.
Kalabora: This dot is Squalls location and knowing this we can zoom in on him at anytime with a GPS satellite. I will now do so.
The screen slowly appears to be falling toward something until we finally see Squall on a basketball court. He is being guarded be one of the other players.
Squall: Yo yo yo. Pass me the rock! He ain't got nothin' on me.
The ball is passed to Squall, then he drops it. Another player grabs the ball. Squall chases the guy around then pushes the guy to the ground.
Squall: Yo, Money! You got a prob?
The guy gets up and stands in front of Squall as the other players surround him. The guy throws the ball into Squalls stomach. Suddenly the video feed is lost and the screen turns black. We now see Kalabora.
Kalabora: It appears we have lost the feed. Looks like he's having fun...anyway on with the show, Terro.
Ladies and Monkeys of all ages please welcome the prince of Saiyans, Vegeta!
The Dragon Ball Z ending song plays as Vegeta walks onto the stage. At the last beat he turns and sends a ki blast at Vicious. Vicious rolls out of the way to narrowly dodge the attack, but his drum set is destroyed. Vegeta takes a seat in the desk chair.
Kalabora: Nice shot! I hate that bidi piece of shit!
Vegeta: Your no better, maggot!
Sorry for the interruption, but the producer would like to come out.
Kalabora: I knew he was gay!
No, he would like to speak with you on the stage. Please welcome, Retsu!
Sephiroth's theme begins playing as Retsu walks slowly from backstage to Vegeta.
Music ends. Retsu leans toward Vegeta and looks into his eyes.
Retsu: You...BITCH!
Retsu slaps Vegeta across the face. Vegeta starts to stand up, but is pushed back down into his seat.
Retsu: Those drums cost MONEY!
Without a reply from Vegeta he pulled out his blade and stabs Vegeta through the chest.
Vegeta: I...whezz I'm Rick...James...Bit--...
Retsu: Helper Monkey!
Kile rushes to Retsu and kneels down.
Retsu: Relieve my eyes of this corpse.
Cut to commercial When we return everything is clean and back to "normal" Retsu is also gone.
Kalabora: Welcome back! Our next guest is a stay at home mom and mother of three please welcome Lois of Family Guy!
Lois walks out and takes a seat in the guest chair.
Kalabora: Hello, Lois. How are you?
Lois: Oh, I'm fine. How are you Kalabora?
Kalabora: Good. Umm... what do you have to say about your husbands erratic behavior?
Lois: Who? My husband was home all day working on a car with his son, Chris.
Kalabora: Right... and the crazy baby who beat up Bender last night?
Lois: I must have missed that. I fell asleep with Stewie last night.
Woooooo!
Kalabora: You are a strange and sick man...
Animemaster comes onto stage from the audience area. He walks over and stands in front of Lois.
Kalabora: Animemaster? What are you doing?
Animemaster reaches down into his right yellow boot, and pulls out Stewie who is holding some sort of gun.
Stewie: Hello, vile women... die!
Stewie fires the gun as several lasers shoot out. Lois grabs Stewie from animemaster.
Lois: Awww... did this nice man give you a new toy?
Stewie: Damn you!
Cut to commercial. We return and see an excited Kalabora sitting at his desk.
Kalabora: Welcome back. I am proud to introduce a new segment called "Interview With a Monkey." Please welcome our good friend who is back from disposing of a body, Kile Terro!
Kile jumps from behind the desk and then onto it.
Kile: My guest tonight will be Sanzo of the show Saiyuki.
Sanzo walks out and sits in the chair to the left of Kile. Kile points behind Sanzo.
Kile: It's Gyumaoh!
Sanzo doesn't flinch.
Sanzo: Ingrate.
Kile: So this Shangri-la. Your searching for I found it!
Sanzo: Humph.
Kile lifts up a bottle of vodka.
Kile: Yeah it's right here.
Sanzo: You dare degrade the bliss of this place?
Kile: Indeed I do. Why do all that work when you can just take a sip or two and get there in no time. Your an idiot for doing all that just to stop the resurrection of some demon.
Sanzo stands up and points his gun at kile's head. Kile's tail flails around frantically and points at Sanzo.
BANG!
Sanzo's body slowly falls to the floor. We see Kile sitting on the desk with his tail smoking.
Kile: Damn! Another body to roas-- I- I mean get rid of. Well, that's our show. See you tomorrow.
Next Time:
Our guests will be Kyo from Samurai Deeper Kyo, Dante of the Devil May Cry series, and Jin from the Tekken series.
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