Tears, Fear, and Butterbeer

Three days, three days Harry thought. Three long days before he could return to the Burrow. Ron, Hermione, Mr. and Mrs. Weasley, and Ginny. Cheerful thoughts of her ran through his head yet it began to swell with pain, sorrow and regret. Harry shook of thoughts of Ginny. He did the what was best for everyone, he had protected those closest to him from harm. He had done what was right . . . hadn't he? Harry shook himself again in dismay. It was done. Dumbledore was gone, and he could not bear to go on without someone he loved. Ron, Hermione, Ginny . . . . no, for now this is what is best.

Harry couldn't help but let a few solemn tears escape his face. Harry was sitting on the edge of his bed. With a smirk of a smile Harry reminded himself that Ron would be arriving the next day in the morning to celebrate Harry's belated birthday. Yesterday had been his birthday, but for some reason Harry had received a letter earlier saying that if it was all right with him, they would like to give him all his gifts and things when he arrived for his party that apparently was being held at the Burrow. Yet nearly packed for tomorrow's pick up, Harry could only look in the darkness of his cold Dursley room and fight all the emotions that were surging into his body.

Harry laid back onto the comfort of his bed, and in a sigh of relief exhaled a deep breath. It seemed like ages that he had last seen his friends. Yet it seemed like merely yesterday he and Dumbledore had . . . . More drops of tears left his face. And what's more, it felt as though he and Ginny had left something important behind. But Harry knew he had a big day tomorrow, and sleep was something that he very much needed.

As Harry began to look into the darkness of his ceiling, he slowly drifted off to sleep. . . .

All of the sudden he was in the Headmaster's office. It was a scene that strongly resembled one of his previous meetings last year with Dumbledore. Assorted pictures of dead headmasters, Fawkes, and the pensieve decorated the room. And there stood himself as if he was watching a recording of himself, like looking into the pensieve, yet this was not the past nor the future anymore than it was the present. And yet, . . . . could it be? Harry thought. Dumbledore himself, magnificently as ever, no injuries, healthy, fit strong, and glowing in some strange bright white aura stood elegantly in the middle.

Dumbledore began to speak. His face very stern and serious with a look of great importance. "Harry if there be one thing you never forget, take back from all your years of training I want to make it known to you the most important thing there is. Harry, should I leave you, should I no longer serve Hogwarts, should I become long expired," Dumbledore's voice turned grave and Harry shuddered at the thought. "Harry know that the most important thing you need now is love. You have an edge Voldemort does not and will never possess and that is-"

"Love," Harry answered.

"Yes it is indeed my boy. I can't tell you what to do any more than I can tell you who to be. But in the upcoming trials ahead, the most important thing you can do to prepare for what is coming is to stay close to ones whom you trust, whom you share loyalty and above all else, whom love you and love in return."

"But Professor it can't possibly be that simple."

"Ah but it is Harry. I don't have much time, but listen closely as you have promised to do so. Do not shut out your friends. Do not shut out those whom have been loyal to you from the beginning. Do not above all else shut out those whom you have love for. Instead stand by them. Mr. Weasley and Ms. Granger have never let you down, they knew the dangers of Voldemort's power. And shutting out the girl you love is just the same. Listen carefully. In the valley of a thousand shadows, love is your greatest illumination."

Harry wished to say something but he was cut off.

"Remember Harry, remember" were his last words, and then Dumbledore was no longer there.

Harry suddenly realized that he had been laying on bed the whole time, in the same Muggle jeans and shirt he had been wearing last night. The sun was out, it was a nice warm day and. It had all been a dream, yet it felt all too real. The message was clear but, it wasn't that easy. Dumbledore doesn't understand! But, but that. . . that meant . . . maybe Dumbledore was still alive in spirit, maybe, somewhere, helping Harry even in death. No it wasn't possible. It was just his head.

"Harry!" yelled Aunt Petunia in a muffled voice from the kitchen. "Some red headed boy wants to see you." Harry suddenly realized he'd overslept and that Ron was probably waiting at his front porch for him. He quickly jumped up out of bed, threw the rest of his things in his trunk and tried hastily to change into something fresh. "GET DOWN HERE NOW!"

With that Harry quickly grabbed the handle of his trunk and flew down the stairs in a mad hurry, nearly collapsing on the last step. When he looked up he realized that Ron and Mr. Weasley were at the door in Muggle attire and Aunt Petunia, Uncle Vernon and Dudely were all waiting impatiently by the entrance.

"Well Harry," Uncle Vernon said almost in a nice way, "I guess you'll be off then."

"Yea, I suppose so," Harry said politely as possible to try to leave on at least a neutral note.

"Good morning Mr. Dursley I believe we've met but for the sake of manner," Mr. Weasley said extending his hand in greeting. The Durselys however somehow mustered their predjudice against Harry's "kind" to shake it briefly. "Arthur Weasley, nice to meet you.Aand this here's my boy Ron," he said directing their attention to Ron Weasley who was now an inch or so taller and possessing a slightly more built frame.

Mr. Weasley paused for a moment in a brief awkward period of silence. He blinked several times then managed to say "Well then, best be off Mr. and Mrs. Dursley. Well I suppose you won't be seeing much of Harry any more after today."

"Good luck boy," Uncle Vernon managed to somehow let slip through his fat beefy lips.

"Er, thank you sir," Harry forced himself to say. He might even had hugged them all had Ron not pulled Harry along through the door in a bit of haste.

In the background, Harry saw Mr. Weasley performing several charms of some sort that apparently had to be safely removed now that he was seventeen.

"So how you been mate?" Ron asked escorting Harry into a shiny auburn colored car that was protected by two very gruff looking Aurors. The door swung open and it smelled ripe with fresh car smell and clean leather.

"Not so good," Harry said breathing heavily as they began to drive away.

"Oh, well I can't blame you really," Ron said without making any eye contact. He sighed then after a short pause said, "It's been tough on all of us, with Dumbledore and all that is. And well, Gin, well she's," Ron looked at Harry for a brief moment then turned away, "well anyway, we have a party for you this evening at our house. Mum's been hustling and bustling all week to make this special for ya."

Harry didn't really know what to say. Ron's words were comforting, yet bittersweet all the same. It was comforting, but still a sad reminder of what had occurred only a few months earlier. "Thanks Ron, I, I appreciate it you know."

"Don't mention it, you're my best mate," he answered back shrugging his shoulders gently. "You look a bit sluggish, you best take a nap so you have energy for your party. We can't have our birthday boy sleeping like a troll all night!"

Harry laughed for a short moment then took Ron's advice and decided to take a short nap before they arrived at the Burrow.

Harry soon was awaken by Ron, Fred and George who were all seeing how many Bernie Bott's Ever Flavored Beans they could fit in his nose.

"Haha Harry's a weak one, I thought he'd get at least three in each nostril," Fred chuckling as the rest broke out in laughter.

"Well I suppose that's a whole lot better than being woken up by my Uncle or Aunt with a metal baseball bat over the head," said Harry playfully as he began to regain his sense. The four all broke out in hysterical laughter until Mrs. Weasley's voice called them all in for an early lunch.

They all began to rush in. But as soon as he was within ten paces of the door, he realized what would lay inside and stopped for a second as the others kept going on. Ginny was strong, and he was equally tough though. And if he knew Ginny as well as he thought he did, at least for this day, things would, or rather should be fine.

Sucking in his breath, Harry went through the door and sat down at the lunch table. Mr. Weasley and the twins were there as well as Ron and Charlie. Mrs. Weasley was running back and forth throughout the kitchen testing different meat pies for consistency and assorted breads for fluffiness. Ginny was helping much to Harry's surprise in the kitchen as she was mixing different ingredients together to make some sort of reddish pinkish punch. She turned for brief moment as Harry pulled out his chair beside Ron. And for a moment that seemed like a lot longer than it actually was, their eyes met, and what appeared to be a small almost glum smile appeared on her face. But she quickly pushed aside the hair in her eyes, faced the ground and continued to stir her sweet smelling punch. Harry felt a sense of deadshot happiness that he hadn't felt in a while, yet he knew it was surreal and was something he could not have.

He let that thought pass and did his best to be cheerful as they all began to eat a light lunch and conversation began to fire up.

"I bloody tell you the Chudley Cannons are far better than any other team out there!" Ron yelled at Charlie.

"Ha brother, did you see how Cera Flamble did playing chaser for Hungary did? And how about Ryan Levski as keeper? That guy has some extraordinary hands, nothing gets past that bloke!" Charlie fired back by giving Ron a playful slap on the back. Ron had nothing to say and a looked a bit discouraged while Mrs. Weasley and Ginny had their own conversation. Meanwhile Harry was having a grand time just listening to their heated debate

"But have you forgotten how terrible Demila Mullet did as seeker? Why she had a hard enough time dodging those blood bludgers. It seemed like that toothpick of a seeker could never stay in one piece during a single match," George added with a bit of a laugh. "However if she has some excellent Beaters," he winked at his brother Fred sarcastically, "then perhaps it would be a different story. Everyone at the table couldn't help but let out a laugh or too.

After several minutes everybody began to finish their meal and clear out from the room. Harry would have liked to help decorate and cook but Mr. and Mrs. Weasley insisted that him and Ron go and relax in Ron's room so that for once Harry can have a little peace in his life. But the reality was, with everything he was going through, his life was a battleground, and it was right in the middle of it.

Ron could read Harry's troubled look and second rate smiles as they began to start a game of chess. "Somethin' eating you mate?"

"No," Harry lied.

"Are you sure, you look like you tried to digest troll dung."

Harry tried to laugh, but it was more like a smirk. "I just, all you guys do for me, no amount of galleons can replace who all of you are to me. But I guess I've just been very depressed with Dumbledore and all, and," Harry paused for a moment and hoped Ron would not slap him after this, "Ginny and all. I stand by what I did, with her that is, it's just feels like something's missing or something. I dunno."

Ron finished off the last of Harry's pawns and said without making eye contact, "I understand. Must been tough, to lose everything, I can't say I know you pai-, well I don't know what it's like. I'm here for you though," Harry smiled. Ron looked out the window casually and said, "About Ginny, I don't really know much about it. But for our sake, and her sake, and maybe even your sake, I'd appreciate it if you'd talk to her, or at least try. She has quite been the same." Those words hit like a pang of guilt to Harry's heart. "She's seemed to improve though. It's like she's lost her spirit. Gin stays in her room more than she used to and doesn't like to go out and play Quidditch as much as she used to. Been in a rather sad mood I guess. But she's a bloody girl, who knows."

Harry had no words that seemed right. And for a while there was a long awkward silence as they played. Conversation stirring up every so often, but they didn't last long. Harry had too many things running through his mind. All of the sudden Ron banged the table.

"Listen Harry. I know it's tough for you right now. But please, just for today, try to be happy for everyone here. At least let them know that you're as thankful as you said earlier.

Ron was right, he couldn't let all those things get in front of today. Just for today he would put aside his feelings. "Yea you're right."

It wasn't long before Harry and Ron were called down just before the party began. When they got down they found Hermione whom had just arrived earlier as well as Lupin and Tonks.

Everyone was dressed rather casual Muggle clothes and seemed to be having a good time talking to others they hadn't seen in a while and making enormously funny jokes. The Burrow had never looked so festive in Harry's life. Differnt banners of gold and red streamed throughout throughout the house, and in the kitchen was a very large brown keg of Madam Rosmerta' finest butterbeer. There were even party hats that said different encouraging things about Harry. And by a corner in the room was a very considerably large pile of shiny and color boxes and bags, all gifts for Harry.

As Harry came down the stairs, everyone began to cheer in celebration.

"Ah there sleeping beauty is!" Fred chuckled.

Everyone took turns giving Harry birthday hugs and saying words of encouragement as Harry hastily tried to get down to the party. When Harry came by Ginny, much to his surprise she somehow managed to still embrace him the same way everyone else, yet with the warmth that only she could give. Before long the hug had been considerably longer and some people noticed, and Harry asked himself why he passed this up. Her long pretty sunset orange hair, her had against his chest.

But then Harry was hit in the side of his head by George whom had unleashed the cap of a bottle off some of their most expensive wine into Harry's temple.

"Well let's not all just sit around, let's eat!" George yelled playfully as they all began moving to the kitchen.

Harry pulled away from Ginny suddenly as she just stood there for a moment with a tiny toothless smile and then continued back to their conversation with Tonks and Hermione. Harry somewhat wanted to thank George for his interruption with Ginny so that he had a reason to pull away. But before Harry could think about it any longer Mr. Weasley called a toast in Harry's honor.

Everyone was poured a glass of warm butterbeer then Mr. Weasley began to speak, "Ahem. Good evening everybody, I would like to thank you all for coming here. It's a big day for us all, especially Harry. And in the light of all that's happened, I would like to make a toast to Harry."

"Aye, heres to Harry!" Cheered Ron

"To Harry!" everyone joined unison.

Harry blushed a bit and joined in on their tribute to him as they hit their glasses together and took a sip. But all of the sudden Harry felt terribly sick. He felt as though his whole body had been immersed in some warm liquid and as if his brain had been filled with chocolate frogs. And then slowly, his vision began to get blurry and then it all went black and several people screamed.