Chapter 10: Façades Galore

James woke up in the morning with the blankets tucked under his chin and noticed the fire was still burning a little. He checked the clock and it read 5 a.m. School didn't start until two more hours, so he decided to get an early start at fixing himself up. He looked in the mirror and groaned at his own face. Here was the face that could attract any girl he wanted, but repelled the only girl that he most wanted. Then he learns that she actually has feelings for him and now was his chance to prove himself to her. But cowardice crept over him and he took out the extra bottle of hair that was laying inside his pocket. He stared through the bottle to the mirror and sighed deeply. It was so much easier for him to play the part of Amos when he knew that Lily like him. She treated Amos better than she had ever treated James and James loved that feeling. He loved being around her when both of them were comfortable. He loved the way she looked at him with those emerald eyes shining with delight. Hell, he thought, he loved her. He sighed. Was he allowed to say that when all she did was glare at him when he wasn't Amos? He couldn't help that he had feelings for her and yet…he looked at the bottle, unscrewed it and re-brewed another Instant Polyjuice Potion stolen from the secret cabinets, all the while thinking about what a coward he was being.

"Aw, hell, Potter!" he heard a voice moan from behind him. James raised his eyes to meet Sirius' in the mirror. Sirius was disheveled and groggy, but his scowl was apparent nonetheless.

"I have to."

"No! You don't. Be yourself damnit! For one day, just be yourself with her," Sirius walked over to the sink in an attempt to dump the potion, but James took it and held it out of his reach.

"This was your idea from the start anyway! Why are you so opposed to it now? Why!"

"It's gone too far. At first it was a game, but now it's gone too far. People are going to get hurt the way things are going, Prongs. I know you know that."

James sighed. He did know it. He knew it all too well as a matter of fact but…

"I can't face her myself. I want to know the truth about her…about us, and the only way I can do it is through Amos," James bowed his head in self-loathing, "I don't have the strength…I don't have the guts to ask her myself and to let her know what I've done behind her back."

"I won't let you hurt her anymore. The more you pretend, the more she gets hurt in the end. I won't stand for it, James!" Sirius again attempted to reach for the potion feeling very protective of Lily all of a sudden. He hadn't felt like this ever since the incident six years ago.

"I don't want to hurt her either, damnit! But this is the only way I can find out the truth! It's all I want! I've waited too long for this; I've been pining almost half my life for her! She does things to me, Sirius, things I can't understand. I can't think straight when she's talking to me, I can't see straight, I can't do anything but stare at her until she finishes scolding me or beating me up! Can you imagine? I let myself get beat up by Lily Evans! And even after all of it, I still like her! She…she…I don't know. She's something else."

"I know that. But there has to be a way you can do it as James Potter. You always find a way when you want to," Sirius almost smiled and tried to hide it, but James saw.

"So you forgive me, then?"

"After what you've done for me, I could never hate you. But as for my sister—what you do to her will meet its own consequences," Sirius warned gravely.

"I haven't done anything for you," James mumbled.

"What are you talking about! You basically disowned yourself on my account just so I wouldn't be alone for the rest of my life!" Sirius threw his arms up in disbelief.

James' mouth dropped. That had been the day they had left for Hogwarts and James had never said anything about it. James had never mentioned it!

"You knew?"

"Prongs, I'm a dog—I have the best ears," Sirius laughed. Then he sternly walked over to James and shook his shoulders, "I know you. You would do anything to spare the people you love any pain. You saved me. Now save Lily and be yourself."

There was something sincerely touching in his voice, but James forced himself to push it aside. He knew what he had to do and being the stubborn, arrogant fool he was, he was going to follow through with his plans.

"I'm so sorry Sirius. It's got to be this way," James looked down at the potion. Sirius was silent for a moment scanning James in disbelief. Finally, he dropped his hands from James' shoulders and look at him so directly that James shivered. It was as if Sirius could read his soul.

"If she cries, I'll make you cry," Sirius warned.

James nodded, Sirius acknowledged it and then walked away fearing the worst of the coming situation.

-------

Lily sat in front of her vanity with eyes red and puffed from crying, hair mussed from turning constantly in her bed never finding a comfortable position, and face pale—almost transparent. She stared at the mirror.

James stared at the mirror.

She took her wand and cantered a spell.

He grabbed the potion and swallowed.

Gold dust showered her whole body.

He squeezed his eyes shut, feeling his face bubble.

She breathed heavily and scanned her new self.

He opened his eyes and saw everything but himself.

Revenge started now.

He promised this was the last time.

------

"Whoa," Peter whispered in passing Lily in the hallway. She flicked her head so her auburn hair flew over her shoulder.

"Lil, baby!" Michael hooted as she waved her hips seductively.

"Oh, my God, Becky. Look at her butt. It is so big," Genevieve said disgusted. Becky nodded furiously and threw Lily a scathing look.

"I think it's a nice ass," Jordan said a little too loudly. He received a punch on the arm from both girls immediately.

Lily overheard and turned her chin over her shoulder to see who said it, and winked at him. Had she been bold enough, she would've given him a flying kiss.

Several more hallways down, the news of the new Lily Evans had already spread like wildfire and when she turned in a new direction, the students were anxious to see what she actually looked like.

God Lily, what a fool you are…her conscience told her. She felt embarrassed she had actually charmed herself to start a revenge on Potter, but what had to be done was going to be done. So with that in mind, she plastered on a bright smile and wagged her behind a little more dramatically than before.

After three more strides of her catwalk, she found herself pinned up against the wall in one of the closets. It was dark, which made Lily even more scared. However, the presence she sensed was angry, not lustful.

"What the hell are you playing at, Evans!" she heard Sirius whisper vehemently.

"Let go of me," she whispered back just as angrily. He did so but continued to glare at her and though it was still pitch black, she could feel the coldness in his eyes.

"What are you playing at!" he demanded again.

"You should know—" she started, but she shut up sensing that she shouldn't let Sirius know her plan for revenge.

"Know…? Lily! If you put yourself out there looking like that, you might as well accept what Dad did to you," he said bitterly.

Blindly, she swung at him and apparently got somewhere around his face when she her a smack.

"I didn't ask for that, Sirius!" Lily said darkly.

"So why are you asking for it now!" he countered, "Lily, you're acting like a slut! God knows the things that happened to you when you didn't want this kind of attention—and now…"

"I don't want everyone's attention. I just need one." Lily's green eyes sparkled dangerously.

"What—" Sirius took one look into those glowing eyes now that his had adjusted to the lack of light and he saw pure mischief.

"Stop acting like my great protector. You've been gone for six years of my life. You don't have the right to tell me what's right and what's wrong you hypocrite!" she turned the subject on him.

"Hypocrite!" he repeated, obviously stunned. She rolled her eyes.

"You're going to stand there and tell me that I look and act like a whore practically begging for attention and you put yourself out there everyday and actually take girls to bed! Tell me you're not a hypocrite!" Lily demanded.

"I'm not a hypocrite!" he shouted back. If there was one thing that pushed Sirius' buttons, it was being called a liar when he was telling the bold truth. Ironically, it often occurred in situations dealing with Lily.

"Prove it!" Lily said and before Sirius could react she muttered, "Pinocchio!"

"What did you do!" he didn't feel anything.

"Tell me a lie," she said.

"Why?" he raised an eyebrow, afraid of what would happen.

"Do you want to know what I did, or would you rather be stuck with this ridiculous curse for the rest of the day?"

"What should I tell you?"

"Have you ever loved a girl you've romanced?" Lily was interested. It seemed like a good question to ask since he was rumored to be a rake.

"No!" Sirius said quickly, and he felt his nose grow an inch, "NO! YOU DIDN'T! Lily take it off!" She laughed and shook her head.

"Not until I find out what I need," Lily twirled a lock of shining hair around her finger in thought, "Hmm, so you have fallen in love? Who was it?"

Sirius looked up at her, "It only grows if I answer to yes or no questions! So even if I lie—"

"Oh sweet brother, this isn't the normal Pinocchio you find in fairytale books. This is my own version. Now. Who was it?"

"Gretl," he nose grew another inch, "Sophie!" It stayed, and Sirius sighed. Lily had caught him and now he was a dog on a leash.

"You see how this works, Sirius?" Lily asked him, "Now, prove you aren't a hypocrite. Have you ever had sex with anyone?"

"NO." Nothing happened. Lily was sure something would. She stared at him after a few seconds and 'hmm'ed.

"I wouldn't have thought you to be a virgin with the kind of reputation you are rumored to have," Lily examined her stepbrother closely.

"I have a reputation? Fancy that. Now, take it off. You know the truth," Sirius wanted it off for more than that reason. He feared she would figure out she could find out about James with this spell and he wanted it off before he exposed his best friend's secrets unwillingly.

"Not quite," Lily shook her finger at him, "Don't think me to be some stupid girl, Sirius. I have plenty more questions to ask you before we end this conversation."

"You're going to make us late for class," Sirius pointed out. She was never late to class. In fact, she was in her classroom before anyone else, no matter how far away it was from her other ones.

"I can risk it. This is far more important," Lily looked down at Sirius who had collapsed on a stool in exhaustion…no it wasn't that. Well, it was something that made him collapse.

"I want to talk…" she continued.

Not about James, please, not about James! Sirius prayed feverishly.

"…about us. About what happened that day..." Lily finished.

Sirius looked up at her completely startled. He hadn't even thought of the fact that she might bring up their past. He didn't want her to, and he didn't think that she wanted to bring it up either. He eyed her curiously. What could she possibly ask him. He told the truth, they didn't believe him, she didn't stick up for him and he was therefore banished.

It would serve her right if James hurt her, he thought bitterly and then quickly dismissed the thought. He would never wish ill on Lily, no matter how much she made him suffer. In truth, he actually adored her as if she was his real little sister.

"What're you thinking?" Lily prodded seeing that his eyes had drifted farther than she could reach.

"I was wondering why you wanted to talk about…it…" Sirius broke off his sentence. He couldn't even bring himself to say 'rape' in her presence. It was so wrong. His father was so wrong, such a bastard.

"Do you hate me Sirius?" Lily kneeled before him and placed her hands on his. She let her guard down and he had realized that he could hurt her just as she had betrayed him six years ago, but the innocence in her eyes broke him.

"Truthfully, Lily, you are my little sister no matter what happens. I could never hate you. And if I ever did, it was because I hated myself. I don't know why, but I'm always looking out for you. Even in the past six years when you didn't think I cared a damn about you, I have been. Actually I'm on Malfoy's case right now—I saw you two in the library. By the way, I have your Divinations book," he smiled.

She laughed.

"Amos and I haven't studied Divinations…" Lily caught her breath—Amos? Or James? "Well, we just stopped studying it all of a sudden, I don't remember why. We stopped Astrology, too come to think of it."

"Because he took you to the tower and showed you what heaven really meant?" Sirius responded coyly.

"Ye—SIRIUS!" Lily turned accusing eyes at him and leapt off the floor, "have you been spying on me!?"

"No," Sirius' nose stayed the same.

Then Lily remembered Amos had been James in the tower. James who was suppose to be himself today—and she hadn't seen him at all. James…James…UGH! How she hated him and all the same cared about him! What a disgusting feeling.

"We're drifting subjects," Lily reminded herself of her point in talking with Sirius.

"We are," he repeated.

"Why did you tell? Why couldn't you just let me suffer—" Lily's sentence was cut off when Sirius grabbed her shoulders and shook her.

"ARE YOU CRAZY? YOU'RE MY BABY SISTER LILY! I am not so ungentlemanly that I would allow my dad to harass you! It's incestuous! Plus I was fond of you and your mother. It finally broke our family's obsession with pure blood and blah blah. I would let you risk your mother's life by telling anyone, so I told. It seemed logical since there was no threat to me if I told. But of course, Dad always finds a way to shield his humiliation and blame someone else," Sirius look at Lily who's eyes were brimming with tears.

"You know, I'm not that much younger than you," she tried to joke.

"Why didn't you back me up, Lily? Why did you let them kick me out?" Sirius asked her and offered her a tissue from his pocket.

She sighed. She wanted to protect Sirius from harm from her stepfather, so naturally she did everything she could not to anger him any further. Before her real father's death, Lily promised to take care of the people she loved since she hadn't spent much time with her father and it was too late. She swore to protect her mother and Sirius, who was close to her age so they connected quickly.

"He could have murdered you and Mum. I couldn't let it happen," Lily looked at Sirius, "I'm not the only one who needs protecting, you know? You leaving was probably best for your health seeing as Dad would have found a more violent way to be rid of you."

"Lucky me I found the Potters," he stuck in.

"Yes, you found the…" Lily quieted for a moment, "Sirius I just want you to know that I understand if you hated me since I let that happen to you. But Dad and Mum are dead now, and it's been hell having to deal with it alone."

Sirius immediately understood. Though his father was a bastard for having done something so wicked to Lily, before that he was well loved. It was difficult having known that the only who could possibly understand and share your pain was at the moment an enemy. He was glad they had this conversation, even if it was in a closet, it was much needed. Sensing a need for comfort, he hugged his sister, swore to make up for lost time, and then demanded that she take the curse off of him.

Again, she laughed and obliged. Then he demanded that he take her charm off and return to normal.

She shook her head.

"I've got a job to do," Lily murmured.

"I refuse to let you out of this closet until you take it off!" Sirius warned as he blocked the doorway.

"Fine," she smiled and then…

Pop!

Damn her for learning to Apparate on her own!