A new face after the race
Chapter 16
As soon as Emily heard the door close and stay close for a few seconds, she went to her room. Melissa was at Lulu's and Jason was at work, so she was alone. Something she didn't want to be at the moment, contrary to her actions. She purposely stayed quiet during the ride though she wanted to ask Lucky to stay with her. He wouldn't have stayed anyway, he always had something better to do.
Sitting on her bed Emily finally felt her tears fall. She made no movement to wipe them away, she just let them fall. She could hide her tears no more. Feeling a sob coming on and the tears increase, Emily hid her face in her pillows and let them soak up her tears and misery.
When she was calmer, Emily sat up and leaned against her pillows and turned to stare at her night stand. She found herself looking at the picture of her and Lucky at a picnic a few months ago. They were so happy and carefree. They were celebrating the end of her first year of college and getting past the finals that she worked so hard to pass.
Now here she was in the second year of college with good grades and marks, more knowledge, and too many problems with her boyfriend and best friend. Soon to be ex-boyfriend and ex-best friend if their relationship didn't get any better.
She knew she should have dumped him after he cancelled all those dates and when she learned he didn't remember their anniversary, but she couldn't. She couldn't let him go. She would never survive the heartbreak and it would always pain her to see him with another girl. It would all be too much.
But what would be the difference? She was hurting now and it was killing her. Lucky could barely look at her, nevertheless talk to her. He didn't even want to be near her unless necessary, which wasn't all that much anymore.
A sudden urge of anger and sadness came and Emily took the picture frame and threw it against the wall. The glass broke loudly and fell into small pieces on the floor. Emily stared at the mess. That would soon be her heart if she didn't do anything.
Carefully Emily walked to the transparent pile of broken glass and found that the frame was intact and the picture still in there. The only thing that broke was the glass cover. Wiping her traces of tears Emily looked around for a broom to clean up the mess.
When she found one, she cleaned up the pieces and placed it in the trash can and stared at the pieces and saw them as the broken pieces of her life. She picked up the biggest piece and looked at it. It would be so easy to use it to her advantage and leave all the pain that the world makes. Her reflection stared back at her and Emily put it back to where it was before.
No, she decided. She wasn't going to let the world win. She was stronger than that. She wouldn't prove her father right. He always said she would never survive the outside world as she taunted him about his abuse and when she was gone he would have no one to take his anger on. He had only laughed and said she would never make it in the world. She promised right there and then she wouldn't let the world and her father rub it in and would survive even if she had to do some desperate stuff.
She had gotten farther than that though. She was in college, learning to be successful. She had a steady job and people that cared. She had money to use if necessary. She was loved.
Then why was she here moping around, taking her pain out on a helpless possession that screamed you were happy once? Oh yeah, love was playing its tricks. She had always said that a broken heart was nothing compared to what she went through and she would survive it. It would be no problem to handle.
That belief blew up in her face. She had stupidly fallen in love, with her best friend nonetheless. Then they thought that nothing would happen for them to hurt this much and their friendship. They were so young and stupid.
Then reality hit and blew them off the okay line. She had read The Diary of Ann Frank and something Ann said was always fresh in her mind. She was talking about reality and how much it hurts your dreams and defeats your goals. Considering what Ann went through and what happened to her, it was too true. She truly knew how she felt now.
She and Lucky had felt that they would marry, have children, face troubles and live to tell their tales to their grandchildren. That vision was quickly disappearing from future views.
And there was nothing she could do about it. She could try to do something about it; had tried to do something about it, but Lucky just hid, so she hid. She had never been good with confrontation anyway.
So all was left up to Lucky, but there was no hope there. So all she could do was sit and watch her heart break and them split apart painfully and then have to face Lucky with another woman.
Maybe it'd be Sara. She had always wanted Lucky, but there was a strong hold between her and Lucky he hadn't felt the same. When the hold would break, he would just try to make her jealous and why not use her rival? It was a perfect plan and he would get what he has wanted to do, though he tried to hide it, since he had started to really have those thoughts. The process that continued the human race.
He would lose his virginity and she would be the one hurting. He'd be happy and she would be passing tears. He would be moving on and she would never. She would never have faith in another man. The only men she really trusted were Jason, Luke and Lucky. Beyond them, she was nice to the ones who was interested, but never got too personal. It was better that way.
She learned that years ago but got close to Lucky and this is where they are! Her in unseen pain and Lucky hiding as if nothing is wrong
Willing all these thoughts away, Emily went onto the internet to get the notes she missed. There was no homework, every professor already had a term paper out that was due in a matter of days and gave the students some relief to work on those and she had finished those yesterday.
She was also supposed to work, but the hospital called Bobbie and said she wouldn't be in. Even if they didn't call and she showed up, Bobbie would shoo her away, so no reason to do that.
The notes weren't posted yet, so Emily shut down her computer and decided to get some rest. She had a long day tomorrow so it's best she get more sleep than usual. Feeling her eyelids falling she made her way to her bed and got in. She wrapped herself in the blankets and imagined Lucky's arms around her; protecting her, holding her, giving her undying support. Minutes later Emily was fast asleep, escaping the world as she knew it.
Lucky, however, couldn't. He made his way to his favorite thinking place, the catacombs. He knew there were dangerous and criminals lurked around, but he didn't care. They left him alone along with his thoughts. The catacombs were special to him because they symbolically told him it could be worse.
That was true. He could have a meager-paying job, but he didn't. He could be living in the streets, but he wasn't. He could have no family, but he had plenty to go around. Emily didn't have all his luck. She had no family, well not biologically anyway. She wasn't living in the streets but with a broken family trying to make it through. She had a decently-paying job while trying to get a degree in journalism. She had a future he had a future that he once thought tied in together. Apparently that wasn't so true anymore.
They had so many views of the future, and to be frank, this wasn't it. Them hiding from each other, hiding their feelings, doing nothing until it was too late. Well technically that wasn't true, Emily tried, and it was him who screwed up. So it was his turn to go farther and get them on the right track. How was the question? He had screwed up so much he didn't even know if the biggest thing or the smallest thing would do the trick. It was sad really, but he would make up for it. He valued Emily too much to let go.
But the problem was they were just words. Actions spoke louder than words, it was said and it was then he got his answer to his problems. If he couldn't say them, why not write them?
With a big smile on his face and a plan in mind Lucky walked to his truck, to start his plan, praying it would work. Too much counted on it.
Much later Emily woke up drowsy and stiff, but refreshed. When she looked at the clock she saw she had only slept for a couple hours, but knew every extra minute of sleep helped her. When she really came into attention she saw red. Originally she didn't like the color so she didn't really have anything that color in her room so it came as a surprise.
Standing and stretching Emily found a beige envelope with a red rose on top. She picked it up, being careful of the thorns, and smelled it. It smelled wonderful and brought a smile to her face. With a broad smile, she picked up the rose and envelope and made her way to the bed. Sitting down she set the rose down next to her and opened the envelope. A plain but nice stationary paper was in it. Opening it fully she read it, the words flowing through her mind.
Emily,
I didn't know how to say all the things I wanted to say orally, so I did the next best thing. I wrote it down. You could say it was the cowardly thing to do, but you would have every right to think so. I have been pretty terrible to you and hiding. It seemed like a good idea at the time. I know now that it wasn't. It's better to face your troubles head on, no matter what you say to yourself.
What I wanted to say was I'm sorry. The root of all our arguments and problems were because you wanted attention. I was ignoring you, putting all my strength in my work. You just hid in your homework and job while trying to tell me you were feeling alone and neglected. I didn't get the message and it was sad what opened me up to it. It was your fainting spell, and when I found you unconscious I feared the worse. I felt my heart flop, my whole world falling at the thoughts running through my head. I took you for granted and that was a rude awakening, People say to never do that, but that was what I did.
Everything else doesn't matter. The truth is I love you and haven't been showing it and despite your thing against gifts I got something to show it. They say actions speak louder than words. I will know if that is true if I manage to get through to you. It has been hard to in the past, but that was how you grew up. It was all you had and I would like to show you just how much you mean to me if you just give me a chance. I will make no promises, because I know the possibility that they won't be kept is there. I would like a chance however, if you let me.
Lucky
Finishing reading Lucky's note Emily wiped the happy tears that were falling. Those words meant so much to her that Lucky wouldn't ever know. Glancing at the rose by her side Emily really felt that she could take Lucky's apologies and embrace his attention. It would be nice to be dotted on again. His attention meant a lot to her, and that discovery was new. She had always liked being inconspicuous, but when it came to Lucky it was different. She enjoyed being the center of his attention. It completed the love they both shared and she now knew all the pain in it was worth it.
Emily sniffed and gave a small frown with the notation that she was being emotional. She always hated emotions it showed too much and hurt to know how vulnerable she really was.
Only then did she feel another presence in her room and found Lucky leaning against the open doorway to her room. She felt her smile come back and her heart start beating faster. It was always that way with Lucky. He had that reaction when it came to her. Without a word, she ran into his arms and hugged him, leaning her head against his shoulder.
It was that way for sometime. They just held and comforted each other, and soon fell asleep in each other's arms getting the rest they both needed.
No words were shared, but Lucky knew he had his chance and he wouldn't waste it. Not when it came to Emily. She meant too much to him and he would do all he could to satisfy Emily. He wouldn't put her off anymore too much rode on this chance. He wouldn't get another one, so it had to count. But he suspected it was going to be harder thanks to exterior forces.