I was just examining my story, and I noticed that, uh, the little star-thingies didn't appear, and I needed them to explain something. The quote "Join the club, we've got jackets" is directly from Shrek 2. I just had to clear that up for my own personal benefit.

So, um, yeah, more narration about a couple scattered days in the lives of famous pregnant witches. Not including Britney Spears.

Just to keep it fresh in the mind, I own nothing. If I did, I wouldn't be using my parent's computer.

Several months into the future... Probably like, four or five months-ish, I can't be sure. I don't know exactly what happens at what time during a pregnancy, because I've never been pregnant. But carry on.

-----

"GINNY!" Hermione's head once again bobbled through the fireplace of the Potter residence.

"Eh, Hermione?"

"I'm FAT!"

"Well, really, what did you expect to be, a fucking beanpole?"

"No, it's not like that. I'm fat! I'm fat because I'm MUTATING!"

"Hermione, get the fuck over here!"

"Alright, don't lose your blob!"

"Haven't got one, DUH!" Hermione tumbled through and sulked into the couch opposite a sprawled Ginny.

"Why are you fat, Hermione?"

"Look at this!" Hermione lifted her shirt just enough to show a stiff round belly. "I could smash a vase against this! This is too weird!" Hermione began to bawl.

"Hermione, please. The happened to me weeks ago. At least your kid doesn't play football with your organs. I swear, after this, I'm adopting."

"Hear, hear. Damnit, I wish I could drink. I think I need a couple shots to calm me down."

"Harry's got some alcohol-free beer-"

"BEER!" Hermione ran to the fridge and began digging before she caught sight of something.

"Hey, did Harry go to that big bulk store an get you these?" Hermione held up three giant jars of pickles, mayo, and marinara.

"Yep. I made him. There's also cool whip and Doritos. Bring all of it over."

"Stupid Ron. He's sleeping on the couch tonight. Ooh, Cool Whip!" Hermione magiced over everything and the women began a gigantic feast.

-----

Meanwhile, back at the Ministry, Harry and Ron were mulling around the office until the next report came at four.

"Harry, has it hit you yet?"

"Has what hit me?"

"The whole... pregnant thing?"

"Kinda. You?"

"It really did last night. She barged out of the shower and abstractly declared that she's mutating." Harry laughed at his best friend.

"Ginny's just become more sarcastic. Other than that, the puking and the food, I haven't really noticed as much."

"Is she, quote-unquote, 'mutating', as Hermione calls it?"

"No, but she constantly looks as though someone knocked the wind out of her."

"Geez, I wish my wife were more like yours."

"Ew, Ron. That's perverted." Harry gave Ron a look and walked out for some more infected work-coffee.

-----

"Hermione, next time, can we raid your fridge? I've got almost nothing left for my 3.00 snack."

"If Ron bothered to buy anything, I would offer, but he's stupid."

"Well, yeah, he's Ron."

"Why do you get the good husband?"

"I won the dating lottery."

"Rrrr. I'm going to have a chat with Ron tonight."

"Better yet, get my mum involved. That would be interesting."

"Yes, that would."

"I wish I had some pie."

"I wish my husband weren't so stupid."

"I wish this little blighter would stop kicking me."

"I wish that- OW!" Hermione screamed and rubbed a spot on her belly.

"What?"

"The baby kicked!" Hermione became excited and rubbed the spot again.

"Oh, don't get too happy. It's not as great as you think."

"Kind of like Howard Stern?"

"Exactly. Overrated. All of it."

-----

Harry and Ron trudged into Harry's house, soaking wet, again.

"Fucking England and its rain. Hi, Hermione. Hullo, Gin." Harry kissed his wife.

"Hi, Harry."

"Hullo, Hermione, love." Ron attempted to kiss his wife but she backed away with a stern look.

"I have to talk to you."

"Haha, Ron, you dumbass. What did you do now?" Harry laughed at Ron's predicament.

"Oh, shut up." Ron and Hermione retired to another room in the house. Harry sank into the couch, right next to his wife, and pulled her over into a cuddle, because he's sensitive like that.

"So, how was your day?"

"Alright, but you need to go the store again. We're out of Doritos and marinara, and we're almost done with the Cool Whip."

"Why don't you ever invade their place?"

"Because Ron's a dumbass."

"Sorry, forgot." Something smashed against the wall and high-pitched screaming resonated throughout the room.

"Ugh, god, get them away from each other before they begin to fornicate in our den!"

"What?" Ginny got up and waddled to the den, demanding that they clean up and leave. A slight clink and two pops later, Ginny came back in with an exasperated look on her face.

"What the flying fuck-?"

"Those two are rabbits, honestly. They were horrid when they were dating. Nothing in the Burrow could block them out. It was horrid."

"I never heard them at school."

"Head Girl Dorms."

"Oh."

"You making dinner?"

"Absolutely, love." Harry kissed his wife before getting up.

"Oh, cut the mushy crap, and turn on some Springer before I barf! I'm going for a bath." Not wanting to take her up on the barfing offer, Harry quickly switched on a Springer classic, I'm dating your brother and screwing your grandmother because I am a transvestite.

I had to add some Americana into it.

So, apparently, this is no longer a one-shot, but it may end here, because, of course, I'm lazy as hell.

I don't own Cool Whip, Doritos, Howard Stern, Springer, or that specific episode.