DEAR READERS: You've all been so patient and I appreciate that so much! I've been so swamped with ACT, PSAE, and AP Exam studying that I've been neglecting my story (Thank you J.R. for getting me on track). I'm sorry for the delay, but I truly hope this chapter will make up for it! Keep reviewing so I know what I need to work on! YOU'RE ALL SO AWESOME! -MoaninMyrtle410
Chapter 14: Hell's Gates
St. Peter's Hospital was busy with nurses paging doctors, and stretchers being rolled across floors by five nurses in a half-jog.
"Excuse me, Sir?" a secretary called from behind the desk. She was balancing the phone between her shoulder and her ear.
James turned around and gave her an apprehensive look.
"You'll have to sign in."
"I'm looking for my parents," James said nervously. The Muggle World always made him nervous. His mother tried to get him accustomed to it, but the only time he actually felt comfortable was when he was with his friends on their vacation to America last summer.
Sirius had been right. He couldn't do this alone, and he sincerely wished that he had someone go with him because this hospital—though he hated to admit it—scared him a little.
"Your parents? Who are your parents? Do you want me to page them? Are you lost?" the secretary asked in one breath.
James stared at her, not even hearing all the words because they came out in such a hurry.
"My parents—Marian and Colin Potter. They're patients. I want to know where I can find them, please," James looked a young lady who had been filing folders behind the secretary. She had abruptly looked up with he said his parents' name.
"The Potters," she whispered to herself. She looked at him hard—black hair, hazel eyes…
"You're James, aren't you?" the nurse asked.
"Yes? How do you know?" James had never seen this person in his life.
"Your mother can't stop talking about you. I'm their nurse, Eliza. Please come with me," she motioned him with her hands.
James took one glance at the secretary who had completely forgotten about him, and he proceeded to follow the nurse.
"How are they?" James asked as they stepped into the elevator.
"I'm not going to lie to you—you're going to be a little shocked when you first see them. But try not to upset your mother, she needs to keep her blood pressure down. If she gets too excited…"
"I understand," James said, "My mum's awake. But what about my dad?"
"He's still in a coma."
"Coma?"
"He hurt his head pretty badly and he lost consciousness. He hasn't been awake since," Hailey gave James a sympathetic look.
"It's been almost two months!" he fairly yelled, "Why aren't you doing anything about it!"
"Please, calm down. St. Peter's has the best medicine and doctors available. If it weren't for us, they'd be gone by now."
James bit his tongue for that one. He should be grateful his parents were still alive instead of bickering.
"I'm sorry," he apologized.
"That's fine, it's just nerves. You're scared of what you're going to see," Eliza said quite accurately.
The elevator made a ding and the doors opened.
An old lady waiting for the elevator turned around. James stared at her.
"Gram?" James stepped out of the elevator and hugged her gently.
"Wha—oh, get off me!" Adelaide blindly swung her purse at her intruder.
"It's me, Gram! James!" he pulled her out at arms length so she could see him.
For a few seconds Adelaide didn't make a sound, but all of a sudden she burst into tears and grabbed him back into her arms.
"You foolish, foolish boy!" she accused while raining kisses on his cheek, "I looked everywhere for you! Everywhere!" she repeated shrilly.
"I'm sorry, Gram. Did you just come from Mum's room?" James looked past her head and down the hallway.
"I'm going to get some coffee. I haven't slept," Adelaide looked weary and leaned heavily against James. He supported her easily, and told the nurse to prepare a cot in his mother's room for his grandma.
"Come here, Gram. You need to sit down. I'll get you some coffee after I visit Mum, okay?" James led her to a row of chairs against the wall.
"Oh, bullocks! You'll be in there all day and night and I'll never get my coffee! You know, it's quite better than tea I should say. I do enjoy this hazelnut cream," she saw him open his mouth to say something, " Oh, hush up and go visit your mother. I can take care of myself," she patted his arm lovingly and he smiled and kissed the top of her head.
"Where's Mum's room?"
"Just go straight. It's the end of the hall," and with that Adelaide went to the elevator.
James was finally here. Everything would be all right now. James is here. Adelaide sighed with relief as she watched his back as the doors closed.
Each step brought him closer to his parents until he found himself almost jogging to the end of the hallway. But when he reached the door, he panicked and held the doorframe for balance. His gaze had been on the floor, and he forced himself to raise his eyes.
They grazed over the legs of the bed, the side rails, and finally to his mother. He let out a breath he didn't even know he was holding.
"Mum," he whispered.
She was obviously in a deep sleep so James quietly walked into the room and put his jacket on the chair at the foot of her bed.
His breathing became shallow as he tried to fight tears. This was his mother, his most adored woman in the world, and she had been hurt for so long while he pranced around trying to get a girl to fall in love with him. He dragged the chair next to her bed and sat.
Gently, he took her hand and kissed it. He reached up and brushed a few strands of loose hair from her face.
"Oh, Mum. I'm so sorry!" he squeezed her hand and kissed her forehead, "I'm so so sorry!"
She stirred a little but did not wake.
James would allow her to sleep. It was important she was well rested and he certainly did not want he heart rate to go up.
Without thinking, he had turned and pulled back the curtain where his father lay as still as death. James gripped the rail of Colin's bed as he stared at the blank face.
"Oh God," he muttered. He had never said a prayer in his life, but now seemed like a good time as any.
Dear Lord, forgive me for anything I have done to deserve this punishment. They need help. I need help getting through this. I can't do this alone. I can't live alone. Let them live. Let him wake up, I'll do anything.
"Anything…" he whispered.
"Lily!" Sirius boomed when he entered the Heads Quarters with Remus.
"Lily, get out here!" Remus knocked on her door.
Lily turned on her side and checked the clock—3AM…
Groaning, she turned on her stomach and fell back asleep.
"Lily! Get up!" Remus found a way to unlock Lily's door and peered in through the darkness. He stood over her bed and attempted to shake her. Instead, he hit soft mattress.
"SIRIUS!" Remus cried out the door, "She not in here! She isn't here! Where is she!"
"Stop freaking out," Sirius demanded from the Common Room. "This night is already crazy, damn it."
Sirius stood in one spot and made a circle to view the whole room thinking of all the possible places Lily could be. His eyes fell on James' door. For some reason, he smiled gently.
Knocking softly on the door, he opened it a fraction.
"Come on, we gotta go," he whispered into the darkness.
When he heard her groan, he came inside and dragged a chair next to James' bed. He looked at her while she nestled further into the blankets.
God, she loves him! He thought silently.
"Lily. Get up, Lil. James is going to need you soon."
She stirred at the mention of his name and got enough effort to push herself up into a sitting position.
With sleepy eyes, she looked at him and mumbled miserably,
"He doesn't want to have anything to do with me. I just want to leave him alone."
"No," he scolded, "You have to go whether you like it or not. I know what is best for him even if he can't see it. He's going to need you. And you're going to have to take care of him."
"How can I, Sirius? I can't face him again!" With that she flopped back onto the bed and pulled the covers over her head.
He stood up, scooped her up, sheets and everything, and carried her out the door with impatience. She screamed once, but laughed the rest of the way.
"Let's go Remus. Shut the door."
"Wait! Wait! I thought you didn't want to go, Sirius!" Remus ran after him down the hall.
"Well, he's going to need his Get Well present isn't he?" Sirius nodded to his sister, "Plus I need to see Marian and Colin. I need to."
Remus just nodded, not quite understanding why Sirius would be so angry with James and then all of a sudden turned into Mr. Sensitive. It wasn't like Sirius to show any sort of emotional side. He always thought of Sirius to be a perverted git, but it wasn't so in this case. Sirius cared about James enough to stop fighting and travel to the hospital in Boofu.
"Let me down, I promise I'll walk with you—not away from you! I don't even have my wand!" Lily struggled.
"You won't need one," Sirius grumbled as he set her down.
She stopped and put her hand on her hips with a look on her face.
"What?" Sirius exhaled. God! Too much drama!
She reached over into his cloak and extracted he wand and waved it in his face.
"You won't need this," she mimicked and made it disappear.
"Damn it, Lily! What if something happens, we might need magic!" Sirius said through gritted teeth. He wasn't going to wake the whole school before they snuck out.
"Bullocks. I'm a Muggle. I know what's dangerous," she reminded him.
Remus would have normally been patient with the brother-sister arguing moment, but he was restless and worried.
"Let's go. That's enough," he said with a certain tone that cut off both Lily and Sirius from any further argument.
Unconsciously, Sirius had led them to Rubeus Hagrid's room. Lily tensed. She was quite afraid of the giant because she didn't really know him personally. He was ten times her size and could blow her away with a deep sigh.
Well, almost she thought and then Sirius knocked on the door and she stopped thinking at all. She froze and held the blanket around herself as a sort of shield.
"Whaddya want out there!" came a deep voice.
"Hagrid! Open up. It's Black. We need—"
The door whipped open.
"Black? Whaddyar you doing 'ere mate?"
"We need to borrow a flying animal. You have animals hiding everywhere," Sirius raised an eyebrow when Hagrid gave him a blank expression, "I know you do."
Disgruntled, Hagrid mumbled something like bloody wizards at three o'clock…crazy…
But he carried his lantern and beckoned them to follow him to the den. They passed the dark corridors, down the stairs, and finally reached a door with a heavy handle. Hagrid tapped around the door, and it opened.
"Sirius…" Lily gripped his arm.
"It's ok. Don't cut off my circulation, ok?" he smiled and she loosed her grip.
"All right! Ye better watch out fer the darn thing. 'E ain't gotta lick a sense in 'im. 'E'll bump righ' in ta ye! It's too dark in 'ere. Shudda kept 'im outside, but ye know Dumbledore'd throw a fit!" Hagrid laughed a little, but saw that Lily was burying her face in Sirius' arm.
" 'ey there, 'lil Miss Lily. Don't ye be scared now. 'E won't 'urt ya!" Hagrid squatted down to pat Lily's head. She looked up at him with teary eyes and smiled timidly.
"I just don't want to die in a cell…we don't have our wands!"
"Oh shut up already! I told you we're going to be fine!" Sirius scolded.
"Bucker! COME 'ERE YOU LAZY OAF!" Hagrid called.
"Bucker…!" Lily whispered with wide eyes to Sirius. He shook his head to calm her down. It wouldn't be as bad as she thought.
In fact, the bird that showed itself was the most amiable thing. Of course, he trotted and blindly slammed into the wall at first, but after that, he came to Hagrid in tiny squawks.
" 'Ere 'e is. Gentle as ever! 'Ere you go Miss Lily! Go on an' pet 'im a 'lil," Hagrid walked Bucker to Lily. It gently nudged her shoulder and she immediately grabbed Sirius' arm.
"Sissy!" he muttered and took her hand, guiding it down the flying horse's head.
"We have to go!" Remus burst out urgently. All of this meeting the animals crap was all well and sentimental, but James could be emotionally dying while they rubbed horse hair.
"You're right, we have to go. Thanks Hagrid. Sorry to wake you. We'll be back soon, hopefully," Sirius said.
Hagrid walked them all out to the courtyard and watched them sail off with Bucker.
By the time they reach St. Peter's Hospital, it was late in the night.
"The thing is so bloody slow!" Remus whined.
"It's the only thing we had. Did you wanna ride with a stick in your crotch?" Sirius asked.
"What!" Lily threw him an apprehensive glance.
"A broom! A broomstick! Those things are easy for you girls to maneuver, but I'm sorry—it's not so easy for us!" Sirius muttered.
"Easy for James!" Remus laughed.
"That's only cuz—"
"STOP! JUST STOP!" Lily shouted, "I don't want to hear about…this…anymore!"
The boys laughed but Lily cut them off.
"Where are we suppose to hide him when we're gone?"
"Shit! I didn't even think about that!" Sirius sighed.
"We have a shed. We can put him in there. I can explain it to Petunia later. I hope she doesn't freak out," Lily shook her head, "Everything is freaky according to her."
"Petunia, ugh," Sirius shuddered.
Remus fell asleep somewhat and his head lolled forward. He didn't get much of a nap though because they had landed in a backyard.
"This it?" Sirius asked while he helped Lily down.
"Yup. Uncle Jack and Aunt Grace. Here, put Bucker in here," Lily pulled the shed door open and shifted a few things around so there was room for the winged horse. There was a lot of room to spare.
"He'll be fine in here. Let's go," Sirius said.
As he was latching the door, Petunia squealed from the patio. She didn't run, but instead she stood with her mouth open and a flashlight.
"Hello Petty," Lily smiled.
"YOU BROUGHT YOUR FREAK FRIENDS OVER HERE?" Petunia screamed.
"We're not staying to contaminate the ground," Lily rolled her eyes.
"What's in the shed? A freak experiment?" Petunia walked over, but stayed away from Remus and Sirius.
"Actually, if you don't want to release a plague on the entire earth, I wouldn't open it. We are doing an experiment at school. Uncle Jack's shed was the only place it could fit," Lily crossed her arms, "Can you tell Uncle Jack and Aunt Grace I came by. But don't open the shed. I promise you'll regret it."
She smiled sweetly and patted Petunia's arm.
Sirius and Remus followed Lily and they took the bus to the hospital.
It was a cold night and the wind blew the clouds away in the sky so that the moon and the stars were clearly seen.
"Damn the moon," Remus muttered.
"I think it's romantic," Lily whispered, "It's so mysterious."
"It's a bitch is what it is!" Remus snapped.
"I'm sorry, Remus. I wish you could appreciate it. The stars are equally magical if it makes you feel any better?" she patted his shoulder.
"Yeah mate, just think. The Big Dipper, Little Dipper…Skinny Dipper," Sirius grinned.
Lily smacked the back of his head.
"Sh!"
After a few minutes, they were standing in front of the door of the hospital.
"You go first," Sirius pushed Lily. She rolled her eyes at him because he was afraid of the revolving door.
When each of them had gone through, Lily went to the desk and asked to see the Potters.
"I'm sorry Miss, but visiting hours are over," came the reply of the secretary with the phone between her shoulder and ear.
"But we've come all this way. And we're very close to them," Lily pleaded.
"I'm sorry, no exceptions unless you are family," she refused to argue further, "Please sit down and make yourself comfortable. There are blankets and pillows in the drawers off to the side if you plan to sleep in the chairs overnight."
"Thank you," Lily replied politely even though all she wanted to do was strangle the woman. They traveled for many hours and the least they could do was see the Potters tonight.
Remus launched himself at the drawers and yanked a blanket and pillow for himself.
"If James comes, wake me up. Otherwise, I'm going to sleep!" He situated himself across one of the empty couches in the back of the room.
"I can't sleep now. Not when we're so close to them," Sirius said. He put his chin in the palm of his hand and waited.
In half an hour, Lily had turned to ask him something, only to find that he had accidentally fallen asleep.
Damn it! Lily looked around and no one else was in the waiting lounge. She stared out the window into the blackness of the night and saw her reflection in the window.
She heard feet shuffling and someone's back at the vending machines. Someone tall, with a physical build, and black hair that was mussed…
She got up slowly and quietly walked over to the vending machines. He hadn't heard her while he leaned down to get his food out of the machine.
She lightly touched his shoulder and his heart slammed against his rib in surprise as he jerked up.
For a while he stared at her as if she was a ghost. Then he began to touch her cheek, her chin, her mouth tentatively.
"God, I'm hallucinating," he muttered.
"No, James. I'm real, it's me," she whispered so as not to startle him.
"I told them not to come here. Why didn't they listen?" he looked at her with empty, hopeless eyes. The vibrant hazel lost its warmth.
"They said you'd need me," she dropped her gaze. She shouldn't have said that. He was mad at her. Why would he need her? He made it clear he didn't even want to see her.
But instead, he grabbed her and held her solidly against him.
"God, I do," he onto her as if she was his last shot at life, and she rubbed his back for reassurance.
They stood that way for a long time. He needed to be held, he needed to feel alive, he needed comfort but not pity. In short, he needed Lily, and here she was.
I need to pray more often was all he thought while she held him.
LETTER TO READERS: OK, i've been getting a lot of confusion about the Sirius/Lily relationship. I'm going to explain it again. Lily is a Muggle born. Her parents divorced and her mom married Sirius' father. She was gorgeous and Sirius' father was shallow. Obviously Lily's mom was shallow for marrying him, too. Sirius's family is all about pureblood, so it was hard for the family to accept the Evans'. Sirius' father raped Lily. (IF YOU ARE UNCOMFORTABLE WITH THIS SUBJECT AND KEEP READING MY FIC BY CHOICE, DON'T BOTHER TO YELL AT ME IN YOUR REVIEWS. IF YOU THINK THE SUBJECT OF RAPE IS CLICHED AND UNREAL, YOU'RE DEAD WRONG. IT HAPPENS. YOU HAVE TO FACE IT. AND I'M SORRY, BUT I ONLY MENTION IT AS BACKGROUND, I DON'T DESCRIBE IT. IT'S NOT THE PLOT OF THE STORY.) Another thing- a fanfiction does not follow the books exactly. That's the whole point of it being a FANFICTION. YOU come up with different things that make it your own story. So sorry if you can't handle the fact I tweaked it a lot, but it's what makes it unique. And the last thing: losing your virginity by force is not the same as losing it by choice. The point where James wants Lily's "virginity" himself instead of Amos means that he still thinks she is innocent, because rape is stealing your virginity, and he wants her to be willing with him. If she had offered herself to Sirius' father (sick!) that would be a whole other story. So I hope that clears everything up. I'm sorry if I came off as mean, but I hate it when people don't know what they're talking about and criticize anyway. If you think the story sucks, why do you continue to read? I can't make everyone happy, but I think most of my readers like my story--so if you have a problem, I'm not redoing my whole story just to fit your ideal standard of storymaking.
As for the rest of you who this message does not apply to, that you for being wonderful and patient. I sincerely appreciate the fact you can handle this drama.
-MoaninMyrtle410