This is another chapter that concentrates on Remus's memories of his friends that begin to overwhelm him. Then, he has a run-in with someone...unexpected. Things happen. People change. And friendships die.

Of Memory and Traitors

Remus decided to take the Knight Bus back to Grimmauld Place, not really wanting to feel the harsh grip around his chest during Apparation. Wasn't it enough that his mind was in anguish?

As he sat down on one of the beds in the far back of the bus, he buried his head in his hands and allowed his sleepy, scattered mind to meander into the past...

He sat quietly in the corner of the empty compartment, looking, to the normal eye, like an average eleven-year-old boy. Of course, not many average eleven year old boys would be reading a book...but, as Remus well knew, he was not exactly the norm.

He had just about finished the book when his compartment door was opened. He looked up to find another first-year, by the looks of it, looking around the compartment. He had very messy jet-black hair and some baggy clothes. His eyes were a light hazel behind round wire-rimmed glasses. He looked at Remus.

"Can I sit in here?"

Remus raised an eyebrow. He waved an arm at the empty seats. "It's not my private compartment or anything." he said. The other boy shrugged.

"Just checking. Sometimes everyone in a compartment goes to the loo at once and leaves someone behind to save it for them..." he said. He hauled his trunk in, and, with Remus's help, got it up onto the luggage rack. He then collapsed in the seat opposite Remus. He stuck out his hand. "James Potter."

After hesitating slightly, Remus accepted it. "Remus Lupin." he said. James grinned.

"You name's weird."

Remus snorted. "Oh yes, that's a sure-fire way to make friends. Greet them then insult them. Greeeat." James chuckled.

"Sorry. But you have to admit, Remus is a pretty unusual name."

Remus had to say he had a point. Before he could voice this thought, however, the door was once more yanked open. A trunk was thrown in. After it a tall boy quickly came in, shutting the door tight just as a screaming mob of what looked like angry sixth years stormed by. The boy collapsed to the floor, laughing. Remus and James exchanged glances before looking at the boy, he had finally calmed down somewhat. He grinned.

"Sorry about that, mates..." he said, standing.

"Why were they chasing you?" Remus asked, looking up at him. His black hair was shiny and his skin was very pale. His eyes were big and gray, and although he was talll, he looked to be about their age.

The boy shrugged nonchalantly. "Just figured, since they were Slytherins and all, I'd pop in and give them a present. Who'da known that they wouldn't have appreciated a few respectable Dungbombs?"

There was silence in the compartment for a moment, which James broke by laughing, "That's bloody brilliant!"

The other two erupted with laughter.

"So, mate, what's your name?" asked James after the laughter had died down.

"Sirius."

There was another silence, then James let out a small snort of laughter. "Really, what's your name?"

"SIRIUS. Sirius is my name."

"Yeah, yeah, real funny. Come on, your name can't be much weirder than his!" James said, gesturing to Remus, who made a noise like an angry cat.

"MY NAME IS SIRIUS BLACK." said the boy, looking extremely frustrated. Remus looked at him.

"It's seriously Sirius?" he asked, grinning. Sirius playfully whacked him on the back of his head. James looked at him.

"Wait...aren't the Blacks-"

"Evil, psychotic maniacs who need to be wiped off the face of the Earth? Yup." said Sirius, throwing himself into a seat next to Remus.

"But then..."

"I'm sort of the black...scratch that, I'm sort of the white sheep of my family." Sirius said sheepishly. (No pun intended, I swear!)

James shrugged. "If you can prank, I'll be your friend." he said. Sirius's face erupted into a broad white grin.

"Cool!"

"Uptown London!" called Stan Shunpike. Lupin rose and climbed out of the bus, paying Stan on his way out. As he was about to leave, Stan grabbed his arm and handed him back his money. "You look like you're having a rough night." he told him. Remus nodded.

"You have no idea." he said quietly as the bus roared away. He closed his eyes. There was a pain in his chest. It was so sharp that it felt like an actual wound. He placed his hand on it, hoping it woud go away, but, if anything, it grew worse. He meandered to a nearby bench and slumped upon it. A voice speaking out of the silence made him jump.

"Remus?"

He looked up and his eyes grew wide.

"Pettigrew." he said coldly. He groped in his pocket for his wand. His fingertips didn't come into contact, and he realized that he had left it on the bedstand of Sirius's old room in Number 12, Grimmauld Place.

Seemingly ignoring Remus's harsh tone, Peter sat down upon the bench next to him. The little man looked up at the sky.

"They told me when they got back...what happened at the Ministry."

The pain in Remus's chest got sharper.

Apparently unaware of the werewolf's discomfort, Peter continued talking, still facing upward, as though he were addressing the stars.

"They're both gone...I didn't think it would hurt so much. I thought that my Master was more important than my old friends. But it still hurt." He gave a hollow laugh. "It hurt so much I thought that I'd died instead of them. I gave the Dark Lord my right hand, to prove to myself, more than anyone, that I was loyal to him, and him alone.

"I can't decieve myself anymore. I want to come back to the good side...to the Order...Remus, we're the last two Marauders left. Don't you think we should stick together? Be friends? Because any day now, it could be one of us. We could be dead instead of James. Instead of Sirius. Instead of Lily, or the Prewetts, or the Longbottoms." He turned to Remus. Now it was Remus's turn to look at the stars and speak.

"I'm sorry Peter. I really am. But...but knowing that you were responsible for Lily and James...and knowing that you could have prevented Sirius's death...I don't think that I can be your friend, Pete.

"And I know that one day, I'm going to die. And I know that one day, I'm going to see a flash of green light and then the next thing I'm going to see is their faces looking at me. But Peter, we are not the last two Marauders. I am the last Marauder. You stopped being a Marauder a long time ago. That friendship was broken, that bond was cut, those ties were severed long, long ago. I'm sorry, Wormtail. I really am. Goodnight."

And as he stood and walked to Grimmauld Place, he heard Peter's whisper carried to him on the wind..."Night, Moony."

His chest started to ache and burn, and tears stung his eyes. He quickly entered Grimmauld Place and dashed up the stairs, ignoring Mrs. Blacks screeches. He ran into Sirius's old room, slammed the door shut, and cast himself onto the bed, tears pouring out. Quite suddenly, he sat up. Grabbing his wand, he pointed it at himself and said, "Relatum emissio ab...Sirius Black!" (Message sending to...Sirius Black!)

A silver sheet of shimmering magic shot from the end of Remus's wand and hung in the air. Remus began to speak.

"Sirius...Pads...I don't know if you'll ever hear this. I don't know if they can deliver messages to Heaven, or the Veil, or...wherever you are..." Remus choked back a sob.

"You were the last Marauder besides me, Pads. You were the last thing that connected me to my past. Now when I see Harry, I'll feel so much pain. I should've been there, I should've run to try and catch you, I should've...I should've saved you, Sirius. But I didn't. And now..you're gone. Forever. And I'll never see you again...you'll never sneak up on me again, you'll never run with me under the moon...and now I'm alone. It's like...when James died, but worse."

Unbeknownst to Remus, his tears were falling from his face onto the silver magic. As the left his skin, they turned solid, into...something else. Something otherworldly. But he didn't notice. All he could do was cry and try to speak.

"And I'll never...never see either of you...never hear you make fun of Snivellus, never hear you both teasing me about being sentimental...but maybe you're happy where you are, Sirius. Tell James and Lily hi. -Moony..."

With a wave of his wand, the silver magic folded into an envelope, holding his things-that-were tears and his message to Sirius. It flew out of the open window and out of sight.

HEAVEN

A silver shining envelope flew to Sirius, where he was sitting next to James and Lily. He grabbed it. "It's from Moony!" he cried. He tried to open it, but couldn't. Suddenly, it folded gently open. As it did, several shiny teardrop shaped things fall out of it. Lily picked one up and showed it to the others in wonder. The tear had frozen into ice and diamond.

And as cold, hard, unshatterable tears fell from Moony's message, as they tried to hear his voice, all that they could hear was Moony, soft and alone, crying, whimpering over and over the word...

"Alone...alone...alone...alone...alone..."

EARTH

A silver envelope flew in through the window and over to Remus. Confused, he sat up, his eyes growing huge as he saw the name Remus Lupin scrawled in Sirius's messy writing.

He opened it and shining crystal drops fell to the floor and shattered, a piece of paper floating down onto his lap. He picked it up. It was blank. He flipped it over. Blank. He threw it down in a mix of fury and heartbreak and left the cold, cold room, the glass tears crushed beneath his feet.

And unknown to Remus, Sirius's voice came from the silver magic...

"I solemnly swear I am up to no good..."

And words appeared on the page. Words of comfort, of hope, of friendship...words that no one would ever read.

No one entered that room again. No one saw the heartbreak, no one saw the miniscule shards of glass that had been crushed underfoot, tears from the dead. No one saw the unread letter from one best friend to another, telling him to live on. No one saw. No one knew.

Fin