Disclaimer: Still don't own it, sigh, but the Zuko fan mob is growing. Soon, very soon.

I am gonna loose it since one of my best buddies is gonna be gone for three weeks in Canada and New York! I am also on the verge of becoming a first-degree murderer by slipping bleach into my sister's lemonade. She is driving me nuts. As bad as it is to say this, I think I need to go back to school.

I dedicate this chapter to KTHM's brother, since he came up the idea for using the cabbage man.

How to take over the world- The Cabbage Man

Me again. Why do I still have this job? Oh yeah, it pays a lot. Um, this next person is not that important, but still funny, I guess. We had to use him since all the meaningful characters are busy watching Katara in the mental hospital. Especially Zuko. Damn her. But on to this weirdo, he loves cabbages, hates Omashou with their cabbage hating people, and, oh who cares?

I do.

So? But whatever, how would you take over the world?

I would use my cabbage bending skills, silly!

JERRY! I THOUGHT YOU SAID THIS GUT ISN'T CRAZY!

Who are you calling crazy? Anyway, I can bend cabbages! See! he raises hishands and does this funky hand cutting movement, then the cabbage goes into a bowl to make a salad

God, why do you torture me so? WHY?

Jerry: Hey, that's pretty good! Have you considered catering?

No, I only want to use my mad skills to hit people in the head with them. then he hits Bev in the head with one

Nice one!

That's it, your fired Jerry!

Now back to me, I would use my skills and perfect them. Then I would build an army of cabbage benders. After I build a crap load of cabbage farms to supply my armies, of course.

Of course! I mean, what else do we have to do with our valuable time? With all the pain and disease in the universe, we have to conquer it to bring more pain and suffering to it, but hey, then we can fuck around with it all we want! Then it would be ours! Am I right! AM I?

Geeze lady! Calm down!

I AM CALM! Hem, go on.

Then I would cut off the Fire nations supply of cabbages so they would all die of scurvy!

What the hell!

Don't tell me you don't know about scurvy! Am I the only smart one around here? Uhhh! Okay scurvy is a disease where you die from lack of vitamins. Eating some sort of fruit, onion or cabbage can cure scurvy. It happens mostly to people on a ship when you can't keep things fresh for very long. That is why using foods that don't spoil for a while, like cabbage, keeps the sailor's scurvy free. Since most of the fire Nation is on ships or long journeys now, destroying their supply of this food would create a mass plague.

Please tell me you are kidding me. Please give me one sane person to interview. Please.

Ha ha, no. Suffer, suffer!

Then when the ruling nation is at it's weakest, my armies and I would strike. We would use our awesome cabbage bending skills to hit them in their heads until they beg for mercy. Then I would use the conquered Fire benders as puppets and burn down that nasty city of Omashou. That reminds me, I need to go out and get started on my massive cabbage bending armies. Toodles!

Okay, I need to go see my physiatrist and talk about this new hatred toward cabbages. Bye.

Since the main person who helps me is going away, the next couple chapters might either bad, or non-existent.I might also be in jail for killing some one. I have nothing to say, but DESTROY WAL-MART! They are putting in a super center near my favorite shopping spot, so now I'm gonna get a bunch of creepy people next to me when I'm buying Love Hina! This sucks! I'm gonna go down and protest tomorrow with my mom and dad and friends. Join me or perish! Until next time! OAO!