Gazing at his own two hands, Lucius spoke again after a moment, almost trying to keep himself together. "I almost wish –I- had the ability to hide Narcissa and Draco...to save them from the fate I condemned myself to. I wouldn't even care about what happened to me. He could torture me...beat me...curse me...ra..." A pause... "The Dark Lord could do whatever he wanted to me, even kill me, as long as I knew he could never touch those two again."
Nodding, Severus smiled an extremely rare smile, one that you'd probably ONLY see if he was slightly drunk, "If you wished, we could get you and your family under protection. But, because of earlier events that involve you, proving yourself to Dumbledore won't be easy...but he would protect your family for sure...if only you ask him to willingly. I can't ask him for you, my friend."
Lucius almost laughed at this big, almost unnatural, smile on his friend's face, but instead he chuckled almost silently. Listening to this promise of help for his family, he wanted to immediately jump for it. "There would be no need for Dumbledore to protect me...I can...I can take care of myself, handle whatever is thrown at me. I just couldn't take it...if they died..." Lucius' voice dropped to nearly nothing with those last words, he wasn't sure if the other had heard them.
"I will not align myself to the light for I'm likely to do them more harm than good. You're right, I am not a spy and the Dark Lord would know if I changed sides almost immediately. Despite Occumency, he can get into my brain by breaking me down first...and he knows just how to do that..." Lucius stated with a cruel choking laugh. They were rather pathetic sounding and acting, but given their lives Lucius thought they rather deserved to act like that. He was immensely glad that he'd put up that silence spell and no one would be the wiser to their drunkenness.
Severus thought long and hard before saying slowly and carefully, "When I get back to Hogwarts, I'll have Dumbledore come with me to your home and put your wife and have Draco under protection, even at the school. Your family will have to move to a different location, of course...and we put up wards to require a Secret Keeper. I would offer to become your Secret Keeper...or Dumbledore could do it. You can chose."
Gazing up to his old friend, Severus gave the other a small smile, "Once they're under protection, the Dark Lord can't use them against you anymore. And I say we put you into protection as well...because when he figures out that your family is under protection, he'll figure things out and will suspect you for being traitorous. To save you from any agony from him, we could just put: you into protection along with your family. I could also make you potions to take whenever the Dark Lord summons you to stop the burning in your arm from the mark. I...I've used them a couple times. I used one when he summoned everyone when he came back to power. I was delayed by two hours, so my arm was nearly numb." he sighed, remembering the pain, "The potion helped."
Listening to his friend's proposal, Lucius nodded slowly, taking in every bit of information but almost entirely disregarded what the other said about putting him under protection.
"It would be useless to take me as well...he would always be able find me. Either by this mark..." Lucius ran his fingers over the Dark Mark and then moved them to his forehead, "or by my mind. I would be a danger to all those who were around me. I can't risk that. I will be able to handle whatever punishments he gives out. And I could manage to create some story about how they were taken from me, hidden from me. It is even a plausible idea really, to have Dumbledore and his helpers kidnap them, and then use him as the Secret Keeper...it wouldn't be a lie then. I truly wouldn't know where he had taken them..."
Severus looked to Lucius, "I'm sure that your family would care if you were torture or died, my friend. You might not care what happens to you, but I'm fairly sure that they would."
Lucius was almost cheerful at this thought of freedom and safety for his wife and son. "They might care about what happens to me, but I just want them safe. The Dark Lord would have no reason to kill me if he realized I had nothing to do with their disappearance. Add my own grief for my loss, which wouldn't be entirely faked, and you got a decent plan." He finished, taking a swig of the bottle.
Severus sighed, "So you wish for Dumbledore and myself to take them somewhere that you don't know of? We could do that...make sure that your wife and Draco don't let the location away. The Secret Keeper will either be myself or Dumbledore...which one, I suppose I shouldn't tell you...we could keep that up until the war is over. And I assure you, the war will be over as soon as our young Harry Potter, the boy-who-lived learns enough defense and spells to be able to beat the Dark Lord..." he smirked.
Closing his eyes softly, almost wanting to cry at the thought of not seeing his family for what could be forever, Lucius nodded a bit. "It would be best that way...if I didn't know where they are, who the Secret Keeper is...it would be much safer for them and for me. I'm sure after torturing me long enough, he'll realize I truly -don't- know where they are and will stop."
"Once he's dead, we can be free men again...I for one, am going to restart over again...I plan to continue a life that I couldn't start from the beginning..." Severus had many plans of things that he wished to do after the Dark Lord was dead...if he'd be able to do these things, he wasn't totally sure.
Despite his talk of going behind the Dark Lord and hiding his family, Lucius still was not sure if he rooting for the 'light' side or not. "I just want to enjoy living freely with my family again, but even after this war...it's not going to be possible." Looking at Severus, he smirked, "Unlike you, I will always be labeled the bad guy...I will most likely go to Azkaban for my crimes..." Could they really be called crimes when you're force to do them or face pain and possibly death?
Giving the other a smirked, Severus tried to convince him that he wouldn't have to go to Azkaban. "With Dumbledore on your side, and if you admit to everything that you've done, and know that it was forced upon you, the Ministry will most likely not put you in Azkaban. I'll even speak in your defense if you wish. As the spy, I can give information that will help you in court. Besides, Fudge is too stupid and too thickheaded to be able to land you in Azkaban. You're too smart for him." he chuckled and sat up, taking another gulp of his Firewhiskey.
Lucius spoke in all seriousness now, knowing that his fate was sealed years ago, "Severus...there is nothing you, Dumbledore, or I could say that would protect me from Azkaban. I have done things in my life that I am not proud of, but I was not always forced to do. I joined Tom as a teenager willingly. I've never attempt to leave, ever. Even as a competent adult who knows right from wrong, I haven't tried to lead or deny full loyalty to him. I have done things as his servant willingly, including torture and even kill muggles and wizards alike. There is nothing that will free me from that." Lucius understood this. "But, as Narcissa hasn't really done anything in the way of harming another and Draco isn't a Death Eater, I'm sort of banking on my confessions in exchange for their full pardons."
Listening, the Potions Master sighed, "Well, we can always try...your family wouldn't want you to be in Azkaban for the rest of your life...and I'm sure that somewhere in your heart and soul, you don't want to go, either...you don't want to leave your family for the rest of your life, do you?" he gave a small reassuring smile.
"I know that if I was in your position...I would not wish to leave my family for the rest of my life. Even though you've done horrible things...you can repent for what you've done. Among the things that I plan on doing after the Dark Lord is dead, is to do much...and I mean...MUCH...community service. I also...and you might not see it as such...but by teaching here and helping in every way that I can to give as much information to Dumbledore about the Dark Lord and his meetings is my own way of taking at least a small bit of the guilt off of my shoulders...but that's just me." Severus sighed deeply before continuing.
"I also plan to continue to teach here at Hogwarts after he's dead. Just so that I can do something productive that will help others rather than helping myself. Why else do you think I took up becoming a Potion Master?" Severus sat up straight and popped his back a bit, "I brew potions to help others most of the time. I very rarely brew potions for myself. I brew potions for the Hospital Wing, the Dark Lord, Dumbledore, my silly students when they blow up their caldron because they were so incompetent to not follow the instructions that are written up on the blackboard in fairly large font now...but my hopes of them being able to read large font never helps." he chuckled lightly and took another drink from his Firewhiskey bottle.
"I suppose we can try for all three of our pardons...but if it comes down to whether they get free and I stay with my confessions or we all stay, you know exactly which path I plan to choose. I want to pay for what I've done...and Azkaban seems an appropriate place to do just that. I've been done unimaginable things Severus...things you can never compensate for by community service. The Dark Lord asks me to do things that you'll never be required to do." Wincing at thoughts of his wife and child...he thinks of the pain they've been in... pain that he's actually given to them. Lucius thinks about the degrading, disgusting, and horrible things he's done over the years.
"To repent for things means to regret them Severus. I cannot explain my way out of certain things. There are things I've enjoyed doing for the Dark Lord, despite the nature of it. I've raped, tortured, murdered, harmed little children, among other things. Some of this things I feel no remorse for..." Lucius felt an emptiness within him where that remorse would be. "These things can only be repaid in blood, suffering, and pain, the type of pain given at Azkaban."
The other man nodded sadly, "I see...I only wish you luck and happiness for the rest of your life, that's all. And I say this because I am your friend...because I wish for us to be able to start over...I would love to be given a second chance at life. I regret much of what I've done...I wish I could take it all back..." he looked like he was daydreaming. Severus was definitely a dreamer at heart. He had always had dreams for his future. He had much to wish for. He wished that he could somehow find an aging potion, take that, and just do his whole life starting from year one in Hogwarts all over again. Severus would rather take another beating from the Marauders then be a spy, risking his life every day...he'd take the Marauders with a goofy smile on his face rather than live under the watchful eye of the Dark Lord.
"And I only wish those things for you as well, my friend. I wish that we could both start new lives where we never joined the Dark Lord, that he never came to rise...So many lives have been lost because of him. Many of those lives were innocent, never hurt anyone Severus. It hurts to think about what lives they could have led if we never came across a silly little boy named Tom." Sometime Lucius thought about using a Time Turner to go back and stop Tom himself. Oh how Lucius wanted to kill that boy, he'd dreamed about it often. But...all the Time Turners were destroyed now, so that dream was now lost.
Sighing, Severus nodded, "True...but, sadly, no matter how much we wish, it may never happen..." he shoved the now empty bottle of Firewhiskey away from him, "Wouldn't it be nice if all of the Dark Lord's followers would see the light and decided to turn against him? I wonder how he'd like to have several Killing Curses aimed at him?...heh, his face would be priceless." he laid his head back down on his folded arms on the bar top, a lazy expression on his face.
Looking sadly at this almost empty bottle, Lucius decided against ordering another. He was already fairly drunk and having another whole one would probably make him have extremely loose lip. "It would be nice if they would all turn, but I believe many of the stupider ones wouldn't think twice. Many of them like the opportunities to hurt and maim that are provided by the Dark Lord. As for the Killing Curse...I think one or two wands would work just as well. For some reason, I think that annoying Potter will have to be the one to do it. I suppose we'll just have to wait until then."
At hearing that Potter might have to be the one to kill the Dark Lord...Severus paused and averted his eyes to the bar top again, "Well...I know for a fact that Potter will have to be the one to kill him...that has to do with the information that I had given the Dark Lord back then...I over heard a prophecy being made...Potter will either have to kill the Dark Lord, or be killed by the Dark Lord." he continued to stare down at the bar top.
Nodding his head a bit, Lucius gave a scoff. "I always knew that annoying little brat would be the only one to kill the Dark Lord, if he didn't get killed first. All I can say if that I hope it is the former...I couldn't stand to be in a world where he failed. I'm sure the boy will succeed, considering how time the Dark Lord has tried to best him and didn't do so." Lucius had been a part of numerous of these plans and planned many of the ones that never made it past the blueprints.
Finally, Severus looked back up to the man sitting beside him, "Yes, this is true beyond all doubt." he then had a strange question pop into his head. Of course, he wondered if Lucius even knew this, but he was sure that he didn't...then there was the question that was rising: Would be betray me? Would he think that I betrayed him? What exactly would he think? He knew that Lucius didn't approve of...those kinds of people...It made Severus smile when he thought of the fact that Lucius had been best friends with him.
"Tell me what you know about me? Tell me something interesting about myself." Severus had a knack for asking those kinds of questions when he was on the drunk side, and knew that they were amusing. Plus, he enjoyed seeing what the other man knew about him.
Giving the other man a strange look at his question and statement, Lucius gazed at him for several moments, contemplating what to say. He had known Severus since their first year at Hogwarts, so of course he knew a lot about the other man. But what was something that Severus didn't know about himself that Lucius did know?
Smirking, the blonde finally answered, "You talk in your sleep. But that isn't the unusual part...you list off potion's ingredients. I think that sometimes it seemed like you were saying entire potions, but we both know how good I am at memorizing potions." In truth, Lucius barely passed his potion's O.W.L.S. and N.E.W.T. by the skin of his nose, thanks to the help of Severus.
Chuckling, Severus sat up and did a very poor impression of a younger Lucius by stating in a would-be Lucius voice, "Oh, Severus! It's terrible! I don't know how to make the world's easiest and most simple love potion! Help me get that pretty girl in the common room to go out with me!" He burst into almost uncontrolled laughter. Regaining control, he looked to the other man.
"I remember that, back in our sixth year when you saw Narcissa for the first time. You fell head-over-heels for the poor girl, and you simply begged me to help you brew a love potion because you thought that you wouldn't be able to go out with her without it." Severus chuckled then looked back at the man, "Tell me something else interesting about myself." he laid his head back down on his folded arms on the bar top.
Lucius scowled at Severus' impression of him, but started laughing quickly after. See? No one could say that Lucius Malfoy didn't laugh at himself. "And to think that I never actually needed your help, just good ol' Malfoy charm." Lucius chuckled again, but his expression sobered after a bit. "To think that that girl eventually became my wife without any means of intervention...kind of hard to believe considering what I became. To this day, it surprises me that she is my wife...still remains my wife."
Stayed quiet for a bit, not sure what else to say, Lucius turned back to Severus at his want of another tidbit about himself. "A bit conceited are we? Very well...you also mumbled out people's names in your sleep...a very specific red-haired Gryffindor girl's name." Surely the other man knew which girl he was talking about.
At the mention of this 'red-haired Gryffindor girl', Severus sat up and his mouth was slightly hanging open. He just stared at the other man and glared, "So what if I had crush on her? Besides...she's the mother of the Boy Who Lived...and she's dead now...I tend to dwell on the past, you know that." he sighed sadly and then looked to his old friend with a slightly lighter expression.
Lucius didn't really expect such an angry response from the other man, but in truth he should have guessed that it would be a touchy subject. "It's alright really. I almost always knew you had a crush on her, even back at Hogwarts when she tried to help you." For some reason they both avoided her name, it almost seemed like slander for either of the two Death Eaters to say it out loud.
"Tell me...what do you know of my parentage?" Severus decided to take a very...VERY slow approach to the subject that he wanted to get into so that he could let his friend know exactly who he really is.
Lucius' brows furrowed at the question. "About your parentage? I'm not really sure...you never told me much about them, truthfully...you usually avoided such conversation. I always assumed you had a decent family, pureblooded for sure, since the Dark Lord accepted you."
Severus listened to this, not really nodding or shaking his head. But, now was as good a time as any to tell his old friend the truth behind himself, "And there was good reasoning behind my not wanting to go onto the subject of my parents..." here it goes, "...because my father was a Muggle and my mother was a Witch."
Paused to look up to Lucius, trying to read his expression, he gave a small smirk, "How does it feel to know that your best friend is a mudblood?" Severus spat out the last word as if it were poison; mainly because he was using it to describe himself. He then ordered another bottle of Firewhiskey and, once receiving it, the Potions Master drank down a good one fourth of the bottle before replacing it on the bar top, looking rather flushed.
Lucius almost felt uneasy about this subject. He felt that he was missing something and then Severus filled him in. Not quite sure how he felt about this new information, Lucius stayed silent for several minutes. Thinking back on all that history with his friend, he -wondered why the man never trusted him with this until now. What made -now- so different from -then-? With all this talk of the stupidity of joining the Dark Lord, Lucius realized something else: most of his hatred toward mudbloods came from Voldemort. "In reality, I guess it doesn't change things much, other than me wondering why in the hell you didn't trust me enough to tell me sooner." The second part was partially a statement and partial a question. Why had it taken almost forty years for his closest friend to tell him this?
Severus sighed heavily, shaky, you could say, "I...I suppose you could say that I was too scared to say anything to you...ashamed, you could say. Because I knew what you thought of muggle-borns, even back in school...I couldn't face the rejection from you back then...and I suppose that now, since I've gotten myself completely smashed, I could gain enough confidence to tell you my small secret of my parentage...It had nothing to do with the trust that I hold with you...it wasn't lack of trust that caused me to not speak of it until now...I suppose I just needed more courage to be able to tell you." he was rambling now, but he was hoping that his friend would get his point, at least.
Lucius laughed a little, waving a hand toward their collection of bottles, "Oh yes, our bottle of liquid courage..." he murmured. Right now he was focusing on not slurring...or falling off his chair. "If it makes you feel any better, there is a rumor that hundreds of years ago, some Malfoy's wife got herself pregnant by a muggle-born wizard. But because there is such a small percentage, they don't even count it. A lot of 'pureblood' couples have children that aren't from the pureblood father. Most families just don't talk about it." Lucius finished his drink and received another one immediately. Ah, the benefits of being a frequent customer.
Severus chuckled, "Yes, indeed...this is also true. And…I think we should stop drinking for now, for fear that we will not be able to make it back to our appropriate homes tonight...and I think we will put your family into protection the day after tomorrow, sometime in the morning. Because in my current state, Albus would not enjoy me hanging all over him like a dopey teenaged girlfriend because I'm so drunk that I can't walk or even stand on my own. Which brings up the next problem: can we even Apparate properly?" he made an attempt to stand up but then quickly sat back down, finding that he couldn't stand right, since his legs felt like jelly, due to the fact that they were slightly numb.
Lucius watched the other man's attempt at standing up, "Apparently, that would be a no." he stated with a laugh. Figuring he was at about the same state as Severus, he didn't try to stand. "I agree, we should move them as soon as possible. The sooner they are away from me, the safer they are." Sighing slightly, he realized he spent the majority of his second to last night with his family with Severus. Well, at least he still had another day and night to be with them. "I don't think we should try Apparating, but this bar has a fireplace for Flooing, so we can use that instead."
Severus turned to his friend, "I suggest that tomorrow, you do something nice for your family. I'll send Draco home tonight when I get back to Hogwarts. I'll tell him that you wish him to be home for the duration of tomorrow. You should just spend a nice day with them...create a nice memory for your wife and son to remember...something nice that they can look back on and remember you in a good light," he smirked.
"I will do something nice for them...it's the least they deserve...maybe a day in Paris or Milan..." Lucius pondered this thought while Severus continued to speak. Thinking back upon the years, Lucius found he didn't really have a great deal of good memories with his wife and son. Tomorrow he would fix this.
"That is, until the Dark Lord is dead. And believe me...during the last battle, I will make sure that you don't die." Severus sighed and looked around, spotting the fireplace...he also noted how far away the fireplace was from where he and Lucius were sitting, "Oh great...and just how are we supposed to get over there?" if he could, he would've kicked something.
Gazing over at the fireplace and back, Lucius shook his head, chuckling. "Obviously you haven't partied very often, my friend. Having you never heard of heard of Sobering Spells or Potions in all your years of dealing with students?"
Severus looked to Lucius and replied in a very sarcastic tone, "Of course I have, but I don't get overly drunk to the point where I can't walk right just because Longbottom blew up his caldron more than twice in a whole class period." he sat and pondered for a moment, then got a great idea, "Hmm...this just might work..."
Taking out his wand and pointing it to his empty glass, it filled about one inch full of water. Severus then took the bottle and transfigured it into a peppershaker full of pepper, and he reached into his pockets and pulled out an empty potion bottle and transfigured that into a normal chicken egg. He cracked open the egg, carefully putting it's contents, minus the eggshell, into the glass slightly full of water. He then put one dash of pepper into the concoction.
"It's a muggle remedy for getting you sober." Severus plugged his nose and drank it down in one gulp. He put the glass down, coughing a bit then shook his head a few times, "Ugh...that was extremely nasty...but it works every time." he slowly stood up and offered the man his hand, "Lets go. I need to get back to Hogwarts to tell Draco to go home." he chuckled at his last line.
Watching with a confused look on his face, Lucius grimaced at the thought of eating raw eggs, water, and pepper. He was quite glad Severus didn't offer him some of his concoction...for Lucius was quite sure he would throw up the entire contents of his stomach if he were to try it. Looking at the proffered hand, he attempted to stand, experimenting on his own. It seemed like Lucius could hold his alcohol slightly better than Severus, for he was able to stand a bit better.
"Works every time? Please don't tell me you use that nasty drink when every you get drunk..." Lucius went green at this thought...or maybe it -was- the alcohol. Moving towards the fire, he shook off the other man's arm.
"If you must know, yes, I use it every time...it's so amazingly gross, that it would sober up anyone, no matter how much alcohol they've consumed." Severus took hold of the side of the fireplace, keeping himself steady, "Have a safe trip home. I'll head to Hogwarts and have Draco come straight home." he rubbed the bridge of his nose, attempting to shove an oncoming headache as far away as possible.
Noticing how green Lucius looked, the Potions Master commented, "When you get home, you should make a bee-line to the bathroom." he chuckled and then grinned, "Would you like me to make you some of my special egg-in-water-with-pepper concoction?" he chuckled, knowing what Lucius would say to him even offering such a foul thing to him.
Turning his head slowly to face the other man, Lucius fixed it with a hard glare, "No. Way. In. Hell. Would. I. Touch. That." Giving the other man a hard shove into the fireplace, he shook his head a bit. "Well, at least I know where you get your few muggle habits from..." He joked lightly. Waiting for the other man to leave, Lucius thought about how he was going to hold his wife very tightly tonight...among other things.
Severus openly laughed at Lucius' reaction to his offer, "I figured as much. I'll leave then." He took out a small jar from his pocket that had some of the Floo powder in it and he tossed it down, saying clearly, "Hogwarts, Snape's Office!" and disappeared.
During the Floo trip, he kept his eyes closed, for he knew very well that if he were to open up his eyes, he'd vomit on the spot from all the twirling and spinning of different fireplaces zooming by. Once he made it to his office, he climbed out of the fireplace, dusting himself off, shaking his head so that the ashes would get out of his hair as much as possible. Severus sighed, "To the shower again...for the third time today..." he had taken a shower that morning, and before he left to the bar...and now he was going to have to take one again. Scowling, he left his office and classroom, went down the hallway a little ways, and went through the portrait that served as the doorway to his private rooms to take his much needed shower.
Removing his own small jar of Floo Powder, Lucius stepped into the fireplace when the flames from Severus' travel died away. Repressing the urge to throw up, he murmured, "Malfoy Manor, Lucius' Study." He also closed his eyes to try to prevent throwing up while Flooing for it would be quite messy. When Lucius landed in the fireplace at his house, he immediately ran to the bathroom. After tossing his cookies several times, Lucius sat there for several minutes. Standing slowly, he rinsed out his mouth and washed his face.
"What a night..." Lucius muttered as he gazes into his reflection in the mirror. "What a night indeed..."
A/N: See, I told you this was a long scene. Coming up, we have Lucius spending his second to last night with his wife.