Author's Note: Hey guys! So I was going to wait for a few more reviews or another day or two before I posted another chapter, but since I got those AMAZING reviews from you all, especially Ali since she hardly ever reads or responds to ITPOAA and TSS anymore, so I decided to post the next chapter. It's longer and there's lots of flashbacks. The chapters will be pretty short for a while since it will mostly bee Haley-centric with just her kids and Karen and Deb in the story right now. Anyways, I hope you like it! As always, please read and review!

Disclaimer: I own nothing. One Tree Hill and its characters are property of the WB.

Rating: K+ to T (PG to PG-13)

P.S. – Ali babe, you need to start reading and reviewing ITPOAA and TSS again! I know you're really busy, but try to find time to catch up, I really love your reviews!

Finding Our Way Back

Chapter 2 – Back Home

Two days later, Haley and her kids arrived in Tree Hill after making many stops because of the restless five-year-olds. The town hadn't changed much in the six months since she last visited or even the five years she'd been gone. It was still the quiet, yet bustling little town she had grown up in and come to love.

The moving truck had already arrived the day before and she now had all her furniture and boxes in her new apartment. After sorting the boxes into the different rooms and unpacking some of them, Haley decided to take a break and head to Karen's Café to see her old friend and grab a bite to eat.

She gathered a few toys and coloring books along with crayons for the kids to keep them occupied while she talked to Karen and Deb and then called for them, "Katie! Derek! We're going to see Grandma Karen and Grandma Deb so find your shoes and I'll help you guys put them on." There was a pounding of feet as they rushed from their room, shoes in tow, to where Haley was waiting on the couch. "Yay," Derek bounced up and down happily, "I haven't seen them in FOREVER!" "Me too," Katie responded enthusiastically. She picked each one of them up and placed them on the couch then tied Derek's shoes and buckled Katie's pink jelly sandals that she almost never went without. She grabbed the bag of toys and her purse then led the kids outside, where she locked the apartment door. Haley reached out her hands to them, "Hold my hands."

As they walked along the familiar streets, Haley wondered how the old gang was and where their lives had led them. She passed by the park that held the river court and the playground she and Lucas used to frequent during their childhood and high school years and her breath hitched slightly in her throat when she saw that the old oak tree was still there. Haley began to head towards it as tears welled in her eyes, the many memories involving that tree beginning to overtake her.

"Mommy, where are we going? Aren't we going to the café," Derek asked, tugging on her hand. Still staring ahead at the tall oak, she let go of her children's hands and said softly, "You guys go play on the jungle gym for a while, but be careful. Mommy's got to do something by herself okay?" They nodded and ran off to the playground as Haley proceeded closer to her destination. Her hand ran over the rough, hardened bark as she walked around the tree, searching for the carving. She finally found it the same as it always had been since the day they'd engraved it into the tree. Clean knife marks marred the smooth wood where the bark had been stripped to write the words and she let her fingers brush softly over the indentations before dropping to her knees and covering her mouth with her hand as a choked sob escaped her lips. The engraving read:

Lucas + Haley

Best Friends Forever

The memories began to flood back full force and hit her like a ton of bricks. They had shared their first kiss under that tree at ten years old, even though they had both claimed that it be only for experimental purposes, but it was so much more for Haley. She had longed to kiss him for years, but was always afraid to. She remembered the day she and Lucas had climbed the tree and she had fallen from it, breaking her arm in two places and receiving a pretty purple cast to splint it. He'd quickly jumped from his branch to the ground and carefully held Haley in his arms as yelled for his mother to come. Even though the pain had been excruciating, Haley felt comforted and safe within his arms and somehow she felt that the pain had lessened because of it.

Her sobs became louder and wracked her trembling body even more as she recalled one of their conversations at six years old.

Flashback

A six-year-old Haley and Lucas sat quietly beneath the big oak tree side by side as Haley picked a flower and Lucas gazed up at the sky, full of white, fluffy clouds. He broke the silence as a thought came to him. "Think we'll ever get married someday," he mused as he stared up into the expanse of the tree, looking at all the colorful leaves the fall season had begun to change. "Maybe, I dunno. Why," Haley asked curiously as she looked at him with her soft brown doe eyes. "Because you're my best friend. Who better to marry than the one person who knows me best, other than my mom," he chuckled as he lay back on the grass and folded his arms behind his head. "There are other girls out there that you'll like and once you find the right one, you'll know," she responded as she picked another flower and placed it in her hair. "But how do I know that you're not the right one? I mean, you know more about me than even my mom or the guys at the river court do. I can tell you things that I can't tell them," he replied seriously, with his six-year-old baby face scrunched in confusion. "Like what," she inquired.

"Like the time last year when we snuck out of our houses and met at the clubhouse and had a sleepover. Or the time when Mom gave us a bath together and you screamed and cried for over an hour even after she took you out because you didn't want me to see you naked," he smirked devilishly. "We were three years old, Luke," she shouted exasperatedly as she blushed a deep crimson then responded, "I didn't like boys back then." "Oh, and now you do," he asked, raising an eyebrow. "No, I still don't like boys," she replied. "Hey, what about me? I'm a boy," he objected as he turned his head back to face her. She grinned back with a mischievous look in her eyes, "Oh really? I'm sorry, I didn't realize." He shouted again, "Hey!" Haley giggled and laid down, mimicking Lucas' position with her arms under her head, "You're not like other boys, you're my best friend. That's different." "Yeah," he smiled as he stared back up at the sky.

There was silence for several minutes as both lay contentedly beside each other on the grass under the tall oak tree until Lucas spoke, "Hey Hales?" "Yeah," she replied a little sleepily. "If we ever do get married, what's your dream wedding like?" Haley smiled as she closed her eyes and imagined her perfect wedding, "It would be something simple, not something all flashy or big. I would be wearing a simple white dress with my hair down and have curls in it. You would be wearing a traditional black tux and we'd get married right under this tree." He smiled at the picture she'd painted for him and replied, "That sounds nice." "Yeah," Haley smiled too. Suddenly, Lucas sat upright, a disgusted look on his face. Haley sat up too, looking concernedly at him, "What's wrong?" "If-if we got married then I would-I'd…" his face scrunched up even more, "I'd have to kiss you." Hers wrinkled too and she responded, "Ewww." "I don't want to marry you anymore," he replied, "you can get cooties if you kiss a girl." "Me either, you can get cooties from kissing a boy," she responded as she lay back down. "Best friends forever then," he asked. "Yeah," she smiled back at him.

End Flashback

She remembered the time she and Lucas had gotten into a major fight, but for the life of her couldn't recall what it had been about now. They were eight years old at the time and he had just told her that he was going to find himself a new best friend. Haley had run to the tree and cried for hours as she ran her hand over the engraving of their names they had made the year before. Haley had visited the tree two years ago when her parents had died in a fatal car accident by a drunk driver, wishing Lucas had been there to comfort her. However, due to school and work, she had missed her parents' funeral by two days, but she had visited their gravesite next to each other and paid her respects. She had never told them about Katie and Derek and she regretted that they would never get to know their grandchildren.

This brought Haley back to the day she found out she was pregnant and the days following that life-changing event.

Flashback

Haley frantically paced her bedroom floor as she counted the days and realized that she was late. All color drained from her face as she whispered to no one but herself, "Oh god, I'm late…" She took a deep breath and rationalized in her mind, 'I'm not pregnant, I can't be. I'm just stressed out with everything going on… I have to know for sure.' Haley grabbed her coat and keys then drove to a pharmacy a few miles outside of town to avoid anyone knowing her. She bought two pregnancy tests to make certain that she wouldn't get a false result then headed home.

Haley sat on the edge of her bed with her legs bouncing up and down nervously as she waited for the results. Thoughts were racing through her mind, causing her to have a migraine. 'What if I'm pregnant? How am I going to tell Lucas? God, how am I going to tell Nathan?' Her only time had been with Lucas and she knew Nathan would be furious if he found out because she had always told him that she wanted to wait until she got married. All that had flown out the window when she had finally realized her feelings for Lucas four years ago.

The timer dinged and Haley stood, not moving for a few seconds before she finally walked towards the bathroom to the test that would decide her fate. Her hands trembled as she reached for the two tests and she closed her eyes before looking at them, taking a deep breath and preparing herself for what they might read.

Several moments passed and Haley finally opened her eyes and looked down at them. They were both blue, she was pregnant. The two tests clattered to the tile floor as sobs began to wrack her body, "Oh god… I'm pregnant…" She collapsed onto the carpeted shower mat next to the bathtub as she leaned back against it and pulled her knees close to her chest, resting her head on them. Images of Nathan's trusting face and Lucas' loving smile and his bright blue eyes swam around in her head as her cries intensified. She fell asleep on the cold bathroom floor that night.

The next few days were hell for her; she couldn't sleep at night and barely ate. Haley had thought of ways she could gently break it to Lucas, but she found none. She hadn't talked to him since the night before he left and that was three months ago. He had never called or written and she was hurt by the fact that he could just dump her like that. She was his best friend and he had left her, she had thought he would keep in contact with her. Haley buried her head in her hands. How could she just call Lucas up without talking to him for such a long time and tell him that he was going to be a father in six months?

Haley didn't even have the number to the apartment Lucas and Keith had gotten in Charleston, so she decided to ask Karen.

As Haley entered the café, she looked to see how busy it was and noticed that there weren't many customers. She took a seat on a stool at the counter while she waited for Karen to finish taking an order from a table. Haley noted that Karen's eyes had begun to lose their sparkle, her happiness drowned out by sadness all due to the leaving of her son, but she put on a front for everyone just as she herself had been doing. She was hurting too; her best friend and the man she loved had left her.

Karen placed the order and returned to the counter then spotted Haley and walked over. "Hey Haley, can I get you anything," the older woman inquired, giving her a smile. "Do you have a few minutes to talk," she asked, toying with a napkin. "Sure, just let me go get Deb from the back so she can cover for me. Are you sure you don't want anything," Karen replied as she lifted the coffee pot up in questioning. Haley waved her hands and shook her head no then responded, "Some hot chocolate with marshmallows would be nice." Karen's smile faded slightly as she remembered that Lucas had always loved her hot chocolate. She patted Haley's hands, "I'll be right back."

"Here you go," Karen replied as she placed the mug in front of Haley who said, "Thanks." "Now what did you want to talk about," Karen asked concernedly. Haley had always been like the daughter she never had. More often than not, Haley's parents had been off on business trips ever since she was young so Karen had taken care of her until she was able to stay at home by herself. Haley wrapped one hand around the mug while she stirred the liquid and stared into the brown mixture, "How are you?" Karen replied with a forced smile, "There have been some good moments. How about you?" "Same here. I miss him. Have you talked to him since he left?"

"Yeah, he calls every two weeks; I wish it were more though," Karen responded wistfully. Haley's face fell at this admission and said softly, "Oh." He'd been keeping in contact with his mom, but he hadn't even called her, his best friend? She was so confused. Why hadn't he called her? Karen continued, "He's so vague about everything, he seems happy though. He asks about you, you know. But I never know what to tell him; you hardly talk to me anymore and you're so quiet now. I don't know what's going on in your life, we always used to be able to talk to each other…."

"I know…it's just so hard, I miss him so much… and I haven't talked to him since he left…" Haley began to sob almost uncontrollably as she brought a napkin to her mouth to try and muffle her cries. Karen wrapped an arm around her back and rubbed her shoulder while she brushed a stray strand of hair from her face, "Oh baby, I miss him too." Now Karen was in tears and she kissed Haley's forehead.

Deb came up to them with a plate in hand, "Here are the fries you ordered Karen." The woman turned to her and Deb saw that both the girls were crying. She mouthed to Karen, "What's wrong?" and Karen mouthed back, "Lucas." Deb nodded in understanding then went off to wait on some tables.

Karen comforted Haley for a few minutes until she was calmed down and not crying anymore, but still sniffling. "Are you hungry? Do you want some fries," she asked, lifting the plate and offering it to the young woman. Haley shook her head no, quickly pushing it away and sliding off the stool, running to the bathroom. Karen followed and found Haley in one of the stalls, hunched over a toilet and throwing up. "Are you alright sweetie," she asked concernedly as she gathered up her hair and held it for her. Again she shook her head no and coughed a little. Haley felt like she could not stop vomiting; her stomach contracted and gave her the urge to throw up but there was nothing left so she just kept retching, causing her throat to become sore. She took a few deep breaths to try and calm down, succeeding slightly, then leaned back against the wall as she closed her eyes and tears cascaded down her cheeks. With worry laced in her tone, Karen asked concernedly, "Haley, are you pregnant?"

Without opening her eyes, she nodded. "Oh honey…" Karen hugged her and Haley buried her face in her chest, feeling comfort in her strong embrace. Karen had always been a mother to her and at times seemed more of a mother than her own; this was one of those times. "Have you told Nathan yet," Karen questioned softly. "No," Haley responded in a squeaky whimper. There was silence for a few moments before Haley said quietly, "Karen, there's something I haven't told you… um, Nathan's not the father…" Haley pulled her legs to her chest, trying to curl into a tight ball, fearing Karen's reaction. "Who," Karen asked softly. "Lucas is," Haley responded before burying her head in her thighs as she cried. There came a gasp from beside her as Karen covered her mouth with her hand and her eyes widened in shock, "When did-" "The night before he left," Haley said, her response muffled by her head being tucked against her legs, before Karen could finish her sentence, already knowing her question. Karen slowly let out the breath she'd been holding in and replied, "You need to tell him." "I know… I don't have his number at the apartment, do you have it," Haley asked as she finally got the courage to look up at the older woman. Karen nodded and gave her a small smile then brushed a strand of hair from Haley's face. "Everything will be okay, honey," she kissed the young woman's forehead then broke down into tears herself, "you're both just kids yourselves…" They both sat there and cried as they clung to each other for another hour.

Afterwards, Haley went to the park and sat under the old oak tree. Somehow she always felt closer to Lucas whenever she was around that tree. Her fingers traced the carved words and she slowly let her hand slip down the trunk then came to rest it on her stomach. "Where are you Lucas? I need you. Please come back," she cried aloud, as if somehow he could hear her.

A week passed and she still had not called Lucas. Well, she had attempted to, but as soon as he answered the phone, she had hung up. She recalled her conversation with Karen and realized that she couldn't tell him. He was happy and she didn't want to ruin that for him. Plus, she knew of his dreams to go to college and play pro basketball. She couldn't and wouldn't deny him his dreams.

Nathan had noticed a change in Haley too; she avoided him like the plague most of the time and when she did spend time with him, to keep up the appearance that nothing was wrong, she was withdrawn.

One morning he was down at the river court shooting some hoops when Haley walked up to him, her arms wrapped tightly around herself. "Hales, you okay," he asked concernedly, noticing her pale complexion. "I really need to talk to you…" she trailed off as she stared down at her feet. "Okay," he replied hesitantly as he picked up his basketball and she walked over to the picnic table beside the court, sitting on the wooden bench. "I'm sorry…" Haley said as tears began to fall down her cheeks. "What's wrong Haley, you're starting to scare me," Nathan asked, placing a hand comfortingly on her back. "I-I'm… pregnant…" she trembled as her body shook with emotion. Nathan immediately stiffened and stood up, pure hatred and anger in his eyes. "Whose is it," he asked in a low, cold growl that caused Haley to shudder in fright. She had never imagined that, that one night with Lucas would have such devastating consequences to her life. In the same cold tone, Nathan asked, his eyes piercing through her, "It's Lucas' isn't it?" Haley nodded and hung her head in shame; she hadn't wanted to hurt Nathan. "I'm sorry…" she responded as a sob escaped her lips. In a low, angered voice, he replied, "We're over. Don't even try to talk to me; I don't want to see you ever again." With that, he grabbed his basketball and ran from the court.

End Flashback

Haley was hunched over with her head close to the ground, emitting quiet cries when Katie spoke up behind her, "Mommy, I'm hungry." "Me too," Derek piped in, "can we go to the café now?" Haley wiped her eyes then stood and faced her children, "Yeah, come on guys, let's go get something to eat." She took their hands in hers and walked from the park, giving the tree one last stare as it disappeared from her view.

As they entered the café, Haley was hit with another memory when her eyes landed on her favorite spot at the counter, the last time she had sat there.

Flashback

It had been two weeks since she had told Karen that she was pregnant and she now sat with her at the counter, talking quietly so no one would hear. Tears welled in her eyes as her voice cracked with emotion, "I can't do this anymore Karen. I can't be here; it hurts too much. There are so many memories of him here…" "Haley, if you just tell him…" Karen pleaded with her eyes wide, slowly shaking her head from side to side. "I can't… I know how much he wants to go to college and play in the NBA; I won't take his dreams away from him. Karen, I'll tell him, but just not now. I have to do it in my own time and I'm just not ready to tell him yet," Haley begged her to understand. Karen nodded her assent and Haley replied, "Karen, I can't stay here anymore. I'm leaving Tree Hill."

The older woman gasped and tears welled in her eyes, "Haley, you can't leave!" "I-I have to. Everything reminds me of Lucas and I just can't… I can't be here right now, it hurts too much," Haley responded, squinting her eyes shut at Karen's worried face, which looked so much like Lucas' when he was concerned. Karen engulfed her in a tight embrace and stroked the back of her head, "I guess I understand… do you know where you'll be going?" Haley shrugged a little, "I don't know, I was thinking about maybe heading up to New York. Or maybe I'll just head up the coast and see where the road takes me, I haven't really decided yet. I just know that I need to get out of Tree Hill." The older woman hugged her again, "You come see me before you leave okay? You be careful out there. And call me while you're on the road and when you get to wherever you're going, alright? I'll be worrying too much about my daughter and my grandchild even with you calling, so you better call me." Karen discreetly placed her hand on Haley's stomach between them and buried her head in the crook of the younger woman's neck, "Both my kids are leaving me…"

Haley wrapped both her arms around Karen's shaking form and quietly comforted her. "P-Promise you'll visit," Karen asked with watery eyes and a trembling chin. "I promise. I'll be okay. I will call you every few days on my trip and I'll call you when I get there," Haley responded. Karen wiped her eyes and gave a small smile as she cupped Haley's cheek, "I love you my daughter." Haley covered Karen's hand with her own as tears welled in her eyes, her hormones beginning to take over, "I love you too Mom." Karen let out a slight laugh as she wiped her eyes again, "We've got to stop crying or I'm going to start looking like a raccoon." Haley grinned, "Me too." "Are you hungry," Karen asked, getting up from her stool and walking behind the counter. The other girl responded with a smile and a roll of her eyes as she looked down at her stomach and rubbed it tenderly then gazed back up, "When am I not hungry?" A twinkle sparkled in Karen's eyes, "Ah, the joys of the symptoms of pregnancy. I sure don't miss those. I loved being pregnant with Lucas though. I swear it seems just like yesterday he was learning to walk and speaking his first words…" Her expression saddened and the happiness dulled from her eyes as she thought of her son. Trying to lighten the mood a little, Haley suggested, "Why don't we have some hot cocoa with marshmallows? I could use something chocolaty right now."

End Flashback

When Karen heard the bell above the café door, she looked up and blinked before breaking into a hundred watt smile and shrieking as she raced towards the trio. "Haley," she screamed and hugged her tight then pulled back and called out, "Deb! Haley and the kids are here!" "Hey Karen," Haley smiled as she hugged her again, "I missed you so much…" "Why didn't you call me before you came down? You usually do, but hey, I'm not complaining," she grinned. "Haley," Deb yelled as she appeared from the back, mirroring Karen's actions by running to her and wrapping her arms around the young woman, "it's so great to see you!" "Hey what about us," Derek's small voice said from down below among the taller, older people. "Yeah, what about me," Katie asked. Haley laughed; she was so self-centered even as a five-year-old.

Karen crouched down to their level and smiled, "You guys have grown up so much since I last saw you! Come give grandma a hug!" The two children wrapped their small arms around Karen's neck as Haley smiled in awe. "Come here you two little rascals. Grandma Deb wants a hug too," Deb said as she opened her arms wide for them to enter. They hugged her too and then Haley said, "Kids, why don't you go to that table over there and color while we talk." "Okay Mommy," Derek responded as he took the bag from Haley and headed to a nearby table Haley had pointed to, his sister following close behind.

"God, they've gotten so big and it's only been six months! What are you feeding those two, Miracle Gro for Kids?" Karen remarked as she stared at her grandchildren. Haley laughed, "No." "What would you like to drink Hales," Karen asked, "anything to eat?" "Coffee is fine for now. I may have something to eat a little later though," Haley replied. "You still into that bad habit? I mean, you're short enough, pretty soon you'll shrink and shrivel away," Deb joked. "It kept me alive during those late nights on set and it's the only thing that keeps me awake lately. Besides, I won't be getting any shorter; I've hit my limit," Haley responded then said, "lots of cream and two sugars please." "Still won't take it black will you," Karen smiled as she got out a mug and poured some coffee in it then added the cream and sugar. "Nope, can't stand the stuff," Haley's face scrunched in disgust then replied, "Oh, and about that bad habit… I seem to have heard that you've been passing it onto my young, sweet, innocent little children whose minds are very impressionable…" "Have they been telling you we've been giving them coffee," Deb asked with a laugh. "Yeah, you wouldn't know anything about that would you," Haley asked with a raised eyebrow. "I only give them cocoa but I tell them that there's coffee in it so they will stop pestering me about it and get them to stop saying 'Mommy drinks coffee. We want to drink some to be more like Mommy'." Karen answered. Haley turned to Deb, still with a raised eyebrow. "Okay, so I gave it to them ONE time! But I put too much cream in it and they didn't like it! What's an old lady to do? Those kids are irresistible," Deb exclaimed as she threw her hands up in the air. "You're not old Deb. You're only forty," Haley responded. "Only forty? Only forty! I might as well be reserving my grave right now," Deb joked. "Well then Karen might want to do that with you because she's not far behind you; she's thirty-nine." "Yes, remind me of how old I feel," Karen replied sarcastically. "Sorry Karen," Haley laughed and then they settled down to talk.

"So, what brings you down here for a visit and how long are you staying," Karen asked earnestly. The last time Haley had visited, she'd only stayed a day or two and they hadn't had any time to really catch up on all the things they needed to or just even to hang out and play with her grandkids. Haley smiled, "For as long as you like. I'm back; for good this time." Both Karen and Deb's eyes widened in surprise. "Really? When are you moving here? Where are you moving? When did you decide this? Why didn't you tell me," Karen bombarded her with questions. "I already moved here, yesterday. I got this great apartment on Rose Garden. It's got two bedrooms and one bathroom, kitchen, utilities. It's a standalone apartment, not attached to anything. It's a small house really, but you know me; I always preferred things small, nothing all big or flashy. It's cozy and it's home," Haley smiled. "Again, when did you decide this and why didn't you call me," Karen inquired. "I decided about two months ago. I love acting but that kind of career isn't for me. Derek and Katie are my life and I don't like being away from them all the time and I would regret it if I wasn't there for them while they were growing up. So I decided to quit acting and now I'm going to be a teacher down at the high school, teaching English and History. I wanted to surprise you." Karen hugged her, "It's good to have you home Hales." Haley wrapped her arms tighter around the older woman, "It feels good to be home."