SAIYUKI IN WONDERLAND

By: Insomnia's Child

SUMMARY: It all started when Hakkai bought Goku a book entitled "Alice in Wonderland", and now our favorite monkey is thrust in a different world, filled with familiar faces. Will he be trapped forever, or will he lose his sanity instead?

CHAPTER 1: The Grumpy Yellow Rabbit

Thunder was roaring and rain was lashing mercilessly at the windows. Trees outside were swaying madly and they looked like they were dancing. The wind was howling. Darkness filled the star-free sky. And everything was depressing. A pair of golden eyes stared at the scenery before him. Son Goku was bored. Damn bored. It had been raining since yesterday, much to the Sanzo-ikkou's displeasure, and their road was blocked with flood so they only reached the village early this morning. But even if they were now inside the safety of one of the inns, he couldn't help but feel down. Lazily, Goku made patterns on the windows with his fingers, a hobby he had acquired during boring, rainy days.

"Zzzzzzz…."

He turned to his right from his position on the window sill, and looked at a snoring Gojyo, who, even when he was already sleeping with one of his feet peeking from under the blanket, looked every bit like the cockroach he was accustomed to. Goku envied him for his ability to be able to sleep through the raging storm, and for the first time ever, he felt the need to wake him up and start another argument with him, anything to break this overwhelming silence that was threatening to damage his brain.

Goku yawned. It was almost midnight, and he still couldn't sleep. Somehow, the racket the rain was making bothered him immensely and he really wished for it to go away. As much as he wanted to go bother Sanzo instead, he couldn't bring himself to do it. After all, it was raining, and Sanzo was most likely still in a bad mood, and Goku couldn't risk angering the monk. He had already suffered enough, with Sanzo threatening to drown him in the flood when they were on the way to the village. And going to Hakkai was hardly an option at all. He knew he was tired, with all the grocery shopping he did this afternoon, amidst the harsh weather.

"Goku?"

A little bit startled, the earth-child raised his head and met Hakkai's brilliant green eyes. Goku need not turn on the lights in order to see him standing there by the door, for the ample light the thunder provided was enough. He was wearing one of those loose shirts that he usually used during the night, and on one hand rested a cup of steaming hot chocolate that teased his nose.

"Hakkai?"

"Why are you still awake?" Hakkai asked him, a worried expression on his face. A thought occurred to him that Goku might be having nightmares again about his demon side, a thing that had never escaped the healer's notice in the past. Or maybe he thought of going to Sanzo's room and was immediately thrown out…

Goku shrugged. "I couldn't sleep," he replied. "How about you?"

Hakkai barely managed to conceal his relief at this. So it was just insomnia… "Well, I myself am not feeling very sleepy this night. So I went down to the kitchens to get some warm drinks, but I heard movement in your room. And I thought maybe you or Gojyo was still awake," he said, all the while smiling.

"Oh."

"Do you mind if I join you then?" Hakkai asked. After seeing Goku's grateful nod of assent, he quietly closed the door, so as not to disturb Gojyo, and sat down on Goku's bed, which was empty, given that the golden-eyed boy hadn't moved from his place in the windowsill. He gestured towards the cup he was holding and offered Goku, "Would you like to drink?"

Goku, who was never a man who wasted food, or in this case, drink, grinned. But then he looked at Hakkai. "Are you sure? I mean, you don't want it?" he asked.

"You need it more than me, Goku. And I would be very displeased if you don't take it," Hakkai said, while Goku wasted no time in grabbing the hot chocolate. After all, there were rare times when he had seen Hakkai displeased, and all of them had been traumatic experiences.

For a while, they basked in comfortable silence, both content with the knowledge that they had someone for company. They listened to the endless pitter patter of the rain and Gojyo's snoring. But, Goku, being the restless guy that he is and having finished his hot chocolate, just couldn't help but speak.

"Ne, Hakkai. Can you sing?"

Hakkai was more than startled at his request. Chuckling, he shook his head, suddenly feeling very foolish. "No, I'm afraid I can't do what you ask of me, Goku. That is simply most embarrassing," he told him. "Whatever gave you that idea?"

Goku sighed as he rubbed his neck. "I knew you'd say that," he mumbled. "But I'm just so damned bored, I feel like if I don't do or listen to anything, I'd melt like a puddle. Hakkai….think of something!"

Hakkai smiled. It seemed that without Sanzo and Gojyo's presence, boredom became Goku's most dominant feeling. Just that instant, he suddenly remembered something. Why didn't he think of that before…"Alright, Goku…" Hakkai started as he stood up. "I'll be back in a minute. I'm just going to fetch something from my room."

"Okay," Goku replied, although the expression on his face told Hakkai that he didn't want to be left alone.

Hakkai exited the room, and as promised, came back much earlier than he had expected, clutching what seemed to be a book. Judging from its looks, it seemed new. Goku squinted to see the title, which was in big, bold swirling letters. Alice in Wonderland.

"Is that yours?"

"No. Actually, it's for you, Goku. I chanced upon it on one of the shops while grocery shopping and I thought you might like it. But with the ruckus you and Gojyo were making when I arrived, I somehow forgot to give it to you. Here," Hakkai gently held out the book in front of Goku, who excitedly took it and pored through its pages.

"Wow!" Goku exclaimed, his eyes taking in the colored pictures in the book. But however strong his desire to read it, he simply couldn't, for he hadn't mastered the art of reading yet, even though Hakkai sometimes taught him during his free time. So….

"Hakkai, can you read it for me?" he pleaded, his eyes suddenly becoming bigger and filled with such an expression that Hakkai found himself saying yes immediately. Goku hopped on his bed and situated himself beside Hakkai.

"One hot summer's day, a little girl named Alice sat up in a tree. She was supposed to be listening to her grown-up sister read out an important history lesson," Hakkai began in a soft voice, Goku listening eagerly to his words, "But it wasn't very interesting, for it had no pictures in it. Alice began to feel sleepy..."

This went on for quite sometime, with Goku being quite for once, only speaking when he wants to ask Hakkai about the meaning of words that he didn't understand, which the smiling man happily explained. They were already half-way to the story when Goku felt such drowsiness and he was very much tempted to lie down on the bed and sleep.

"The Cheshire cat appeared and told Alice that she might find the White Rabbit at the Mad Hatter's house, or else the March Hare's. So Alice walked on, and came to a tea table…"

And that was the last thing Goku heard before he lost his senses and allowed sleep to envelop him…

Goku woke up to the sound of chirping birds. He was known to be a nature lover, but not even that knowledge cannot stop him from being angry at the loud noise the birds were making. He still wanted to sleep, and for a few seconds, he willed his body to obey him. Sleep. Sleep. Sleep. That only proved that his figure was indeed a traitorous one, for he suddenly found himself opening his eyes slowly and sitting up straight, only to be face to face with the blinding sunlight.

Goku yawned. As expected, when he looked at Gojyo's bed, he found it empty. He must've already gone downstairs for breakfast. And then his stomach also gave a loud rumble that reminded him that he, too, needed to eat. Racing down the inn's stairs as fast as his legs could carry him, Goku entered the dining room, only to find out that no one was there. He thought it strange. Yesterday, the inn was fully booked due to the storm, and even if the majority had already left due to the change of weather this morning, he had at least expected some to have remained. And also, where was the inn staff?

"Sanzo!" he called, even though he had an odd feeling that he wouldn't hear him. "Gojyo! Hakkai! Anybody!"

Goku resolved in going up again. Maybe they were just in their rooms, still sleeping, or playing another predictable game of poker. Well, what other reasons does he have, aside from that? Surely, he couldn't force himself to believe that they left him behind. He once again shouted their names as he searched room after room. He even called Hakuryu. But it was hopeless. And slowly, the truth sank in. The rest of the Sanzo-ikkou is missing.

Goku was about to lose all hope when he saw something. His eyes widened. "S-s-anzo?" he said.

There enough, on the doorway was what he thought was Sanzo. But he was most unusual dressed. In all his life, Goku had never seen Sanzo wearing a yellow, bunny costume, and he knew Sanzo would never willingly wear one unless Hakkai or Gojyo somehow managed to convince him, a feat he deemed beyond impossible. It wasn't Easter or Halloween either. Goku also noticed that his Sutra was missing. Sanzo was holding a pocket watch and kept cursing to himself. "I'm fucking late. Shit. Those stupid idiots will kill me!" he muttered under his breath.

"Is…is that really you Sanzo?" Goku asked, unable to believe his eyes.

But Sanzo wasn't listening. Instead, he ran up the third floor without even a word, with Goku at his heels, shouting, "Sanzo! Sanzo! Matte yo!"

Only when he managed to catch up with him did Sanzo turn to him and glared at him. "Who the hell are you and why do you keep following me? I'm already late, for Hell's sake!" he exclaimed.

Goku's eyes widened considerably. He couldn't believe it. He just couldn't. "S…Sanzo…Don't you know me? It's me, Goku," he told him, hoping against hope that Sanzo was only kidding. But of course, he knew the ugly truth. The blonde monk never joked.

"No, I don't know you. Who's Sanzo and why do you keep calling me that?" Sanzo said, his face showing hints of annoyance.

Goku was even more surprised. What the hell was going on? First, the others disappear at breakfast, and now Sanzo in a bunny suit doesn't even know him, or his name, for that matter. Or maybe he really isn't Sanzo…Could this be another trap made by youkai? That was most unlikely, for he couldn't sense any evil presence in the room. But he knew the person standing in front of him is really Sanzo, since he only knew one person on earth who cursed like him. "S-seriously? What happened to you, Sanzo? I'm Goku, and you're Sanzo. Why don't you remember?" he asked.

"Tch. I have no time for idiots like you. Time is running out." With that, the Sanzo look-alike continued running until he reached one of the rooms and disappeared inside. Goku opened the door and found himself in the weirdest room he had ever seen.

"Ahhh!" Goku yelled as he saw all the furniture floating, including him, and no matter how he tried to touch the ground, he found himself unable to do that. What the hell is this place? He looked around the room for any signs of Sanzo, but he wasn't there. Where had he gone? "Sanzoooooooo!"

As if his shouting had some effect, he and the furniture stopped floating and everything was back to normal. It was as if nothing out of the extraordinary happened. Goku leaned on the wall and sighed. "Sanzo," he mumbled, feeling very worried about the monk. His stomach gave another rumble. "Ahh…Hara hetta…I hadn't even had breakfast yet…"

But then the impossible happened. A long table filled with all his favorite dishes suddenly materialized in front of him. Blinking several times in order to make sure he wasn't daydreaming about this, he approached the table and started to eat, not even bothering to think whether this was some sort of trap, or whether the food was poisonous or not. "Itadekimasu!" he exclaimed and proceeded to wolf down the food.

When all plates were cleared and Goku had managed to fill his stomach with enough food, that's when he started to feel that something was wrong and mentally cursed his stupidity for even eating without thinking. He found the room growing larger and larger before his very eyes. But then he realized that it was the opposite. He was the one who suddenly became smaller. The shrinking continued, until he was only the size of a small stone. Any youkai who had been plotting on killing them could easily squish him now.

Goku looked around for signs of food that might help him grow back to his full height, but it was useless. But what he did saw was a small doorknob that he must've overlooked when he first went inside the room. He walked towards it and thought that maybe this was where Sanzo and the others have gone to. But just as he was about to touch the doorknob, it suddenly moved.

"Why does a person like you want to go inside?" it squeaked.

Goku didn't know whether to feel scared or surprised. "What the heck…" he muttered as he tapped his head several times to make sure this wasn't any kind of hallucination. "You…you just spoke…"

"Well of course I did," it said in an annoyed voice.

"W-wait a minute…" Goku said. "Did a yellow rabbit happen to pass through here just a while ago?"

"Why yes. Said something about being late and threatening to kill me if I didn't let him through. Very grumpy fellow, is he?" the doorknob said casually.

That gave Goku some sort of relief. At least he knew now where to find Sanzo. "Well, can you let me in?" he asked the doorknob. "I really need to go chase San-er, that rabbit."

"Very well."

The doorknob let him through a hole big enough for Goku to fit into. He thought that maybe there was indeed a youkai hiding somewhere and he or she had successfully managed to transport Sanzo and the others in this place. He was expecting some sort of evil lair filled with disgusting creatures and the like, a thing that was common with most youkais, but what greeted him wasn't this. He was standing in something that could pass up as a garden. It was the strangest place he had ever seen. There were moving mushrooms, leaves and all kinds of flowers that smelled so good, it made him so light-headed. Everything looked very unrealistic.

But Goku saw one sight that sent him running. It was the Sanzo look-alike. He was running towards the direction of the woods, not too far away. Goku was determined to follow him, but he was immediately stopped by two familiar voices that talked at once.

"Hey, you! Stop!"
And when the golden-eyed demon turned his head, he almost had a heart attack once he saw who it was who was calling him.

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AN: This is certainly another weird fanfic by moi. Yeah, yeah, I know I'm still not through with Monkey In a Bottle, but let's just consider this as another form of entertainment. There won't be much of a plot, since I plan to inject nothing but weirdness in this fic and you may also have noticed that it isn't as long as my other fics…I'm not particular sure what genre this is; adventure, fantasy, humor, or whatever, so I just decided to place it in "General". Anyway, feel free to flame me if you want…And for those who care, I'm undecided whether the Cheshire cat should be Nii or Homura. Please help me decide!