Author's Note: Yeah, so I'm slow. I'm sorry. And I can't even offer you a longer chapter. ;-; I would, but then it'd take away from the next chapter (which'll probably be the last one. Not sure on that.) But I hope you like it nonetheless (wow, strange word, eh?), and please review if you have the time. And I know you do.

Disclaimer: Um. (Trying to think of a funny way to say she doesn't own.)

Strawberries and Sugar

Chapter IV: Don't Want to be This Way

I marched into Sesshomaru's bedroom.

"Get up, Sessh," I said, pulling his blankets off his large bed in one yank.

He groaned and rolled over on his stomach.

"C'mon, you lazy bastard," I muttered, poking him in the back with a sharp nail. I knew he wouldn't let anyone else treat him this way, so I abused to privilege.

It has been nearly six months since Sesshomaru had hired me to be little Rin's "nanny," but now I seem to be doing everything, including his personal aid.

He growled and shimmied away from my prodding nail.

"Nuh-uh, mister." I grabbed his ankle and pulled him off his bed. He landed with a loud thunk on the ground. I guess that demon strength does come in handy.

"Gods, Kagura. Can't you wake me up like a normal person?" he grumbled, scratching his bare chest lazily.

"Would you rather that or I smothered you with kisses, eh?"

He glared. "I'd rather be pulled off my bed," he said and got up to shower, leaving a trail of discarded clothes for me to pick up.

I smirked at his remark, though inside I was a little hurt. Over the months, I had really grown to like the guy, and it seemed like I wasn't having the same effect on him.

Of course, we're talking about Sesshomaru, the most cold-hearted man on the face of the planet—demon or not.

As he showered, I straightened up his room. I wasn't surprised to find the pictures I had taken of him and Rin at the zoo a few weeks ago in a drawer. I was shocked, though, when I saw the outcome of what happened when Rin had taken my camera.

Pictures of Sesshomaru and I, talking back or sticking our tongues out (yes, very un-Sesshomaru like), but there was also a few where we actually looked nice together. I grabbed a few of the pictures—two of him and Rin, three of Rin, two of all three of us, two of Sesshomaru and I, and one of me—and stuffed them into my purse so I could buy some frames for them later.

"What're you doing?" Sesshomaru asked, digging through his drawers for some clothes.

"Cleaning up after your slobby ass," I shot back at him.

"Good luck," he smirked at me. He always seemed so closed off in front of everybody, but he was a real smart-ass when no one was around.

I punched him in the arm, though he barely moved. "Don't be such a dick," I said rudely.

"Better watch that tongue of yours, Kagura."

"Or what?" I stuck my tongue out at him.

"I may just have to bite it," he said, snapping his teeth at me.

I stopped, taken aback.

"Go throw these in the wash," said Sesshomaru and he handed me dirty clothes, talking like what he said had no erotic meaning.

I quickly recovered, though. "You really need to stop reading those trashy novels, Sesshomaru, they're making your brain all mushy and twisted." I poked him in the forehead and walked away to go clean his laundry.

OoooO

Later that day, I had convinced Sesshomaru to take his daughter to the beach. Of course, he made up some bullshit to make me come along. Damn the pretty bastard.

Which brings us to Sesshomaru and me sitting on a blanket under a huge umbrella, while we—more like I, since he just slept and read—watched Rin play in the water.

I sighed. The parasol wasn't helping much. I could still feel a sun burn forming. Sitting up, I started putting on some more sun block. It was a pain trying to get it on my back, but I could do it. Sort of.

Two hands started massaging the lotion into my pale back, making me shudder.

I looked back over my shoulder, and saw Sesshomaru calmly rubbing the sun block in.

"Sessh?"

"Can't have my servant having a sun burn holding her back from tending to my every whim, now, can I?"

"'Servant'! What the hell you—" I was cut off by him winking—that's right, winking—at me.

I sat there, my eyes wide as he went back to reading another one of his books.

I sat there, staring out at the blue, blue water.

And as I sat there, I realised something. That bastard made me fall in love with him.

OoooO

Ever since that day at the beach a few months ago, I see things every day that make me love him. And I hate it. I despise it. I shouldn't love that evil, demented man. But I do. And I am.

OoooO

"Sesshomaru!" I shouted up at him. "Get that fat ass off the couch and come to dinner! Now."

He came into the room, grinning. "What's for food tonight? It's not going to kill me, is it? I swear, Kagura, yesterday night, that Miso soup suc—"

He was cut off by a kitchen knife being thrown at his head.

"You don't like it, hire a cook."

"Those guys never make me what I want."

"Maybe that's 'cause you're a whiny son-of-a-bitch."

He gave an oh-so-very-pleasant finger. He made some very calm threats, but I knew he wouldn't touch me. Sadly enough.

"So where's Rin?" Sesshomaru asked, eating his food slowly.

"She's at one of her friend's house," I told him, putting the dirty dishes into the sink.

"Why was I not asked?"

"Because her friend's mother assumed I was Rin's mother and didn't bother asking you."

He discreetly rolled his eyes, taking another bite of ramen.

"You know, you make very plain meals."

"Yeah, well, can you hurry up? I need to get home to have something to eat and wash the dishes, do a load of laundry, not to mention that dust bunny that's been staring at me in the corner of the room—"

"You don't live here?" Sesshomaru interrupted me.

"Um. No… Am I supposed to?"

"Well, you seemed to act like it. You're always here before I wake up and are there when I go to bed. I've never seen this house without you in it for nearly ten months now."

"Yeah, well, it's my job. You pay me to be here for every beck and call that his lordship requires."

"Wouldn't it save you money just to live here?"

"Yeah, I guess." What was he getting at?

Oh, come on now, Kagura. Don't be dense.

Shut up, you … er … me.

Nice. Real nice.

"So? Then why don't you?"

I shrugged. "Do you have a spare bedroom?"

He nodded. "You know I do."

I shrugged again. "Alright, sure."

So now I live in the house of Sesshomaru, the biggest name in books, and my boss. Oh, and he also happens to be the idiot I've fallen, unwillingly, in love with.

OoooO

"Gaaah! Gods be damned!" I screamed.

"What did you do now," Sesshomaru asked without a hint of interest.

"This fucking needle keeps stabbing me!" I had been trying to repair one of Rin's school skirts, but sewing isn't my greatest subject.

Letting out a sigh, Sesshomaru set down the paper he was reading and snatched the cloth and needle away from me.

"Go do something else," he said. "Cook or clean or sleep or something. You work too much. You're always tired when I need you to do something important."

I sneered at him and left the room, making my way up to my own bedroom, but not before muttering "Yes, your majesty."

I didn't go to sleep, though. I sat on my bed, framing the pictures that had been taken so long ago. I had finally bought some frames; not the cheap ones either, mind you.

Around ten o'clock I had finished and I went into Sesshomaru's room to scatter the pictures everywhere.

I saw him there, just lying on his bed, reading, and I couldn't help but stare at him.

"What do you want?" he asked calmly.

"I, er, was just going to put these back. Not that it's any of your business." Shifting on my feet slightly, I looked around, setting them down randomly.

"I was under the impression that this was my room."

"Yeah, well …" I couldn't think of a proper come back.

"Well …?" he pressed.

"It's nothing, geez, you don't need to know everything about me, do you!"

He didn't reply instantly, and he surprised me. "Maybe I want to?" The way he said it, he didn't sound like he was asking to know, just throwing the subject up in the air.

"Shut up."

"Is there something you want to tell me?"

I hated him for that.

"Shut up! I can't help it!"

He didn't look away. "Help what?"

"If I like you," I spat. "It's not up to me! If it was, I'd have never met you! You're such a jackass all the time, never telling anyone how you feel. Why are you like that?"

Sesshomaru looked away, not answering.

I gestured at him rudely and left.

OoooO

It was near midnight, and I was up chopping some vegetables. I couldn't tell you why, seeing as we wouldn't need them for breakfast.

I didn't hear the door open, as it always goes, so my breath caught in my throat when I felt a warm body pressed against my back.

Cold lips pushed against my ear, he whispered "Maybe because I don't want you to find out the real me." That thick voice always sent tremors across my skin.

I couldn't ask him what he meant by that, because he was gone as soon as he arrived.

I felt frozen, my entire body shaking so much I couldn't hold the knife steady.

My knees buckled. I couldn't remember crying so much in ages. Not when my mother died, not when I was left with my sister, not ever.

No wonder I hated loving such a bastard of a man.

Till next time.

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