Author's Note: Hey guys! Sorry for such a long wait for the next chapter. I was having major writer's block and couldn't figure out what to write. But surprisingly, once I started typing the words just flew out and this is one of the longest chapters of this story! It's kind of boring and dull but that was due to my lack of inspiration. You can all thank Lin for this chapter because she kept bugging and pestering me about it. :P Love ya babe! Anyways, I hope you like it! As always, please read and review!

Disclaimer: I own nothing. One Tree Hill and its characters are property of the WB.

Rating: K+ to T

Finding Our Way Back

Chapter 25 – My Previous Life Is In the Past

Haley woke the next morning to bright sunlight shining through the large windows. Haley slowly stood and stretched to get the kinks out. Surprisingly, she had slept pretty well last night despite being on the floor. She had finally fallen asleep late last night out of pure exhaustion from the past two days and from crying so much. Haley was suddenly hit with a wave of nausea and took a step back to steady herself from feeling the dizziness in her head. She quickly rushed to the bathroom and threw open the toilet lid, collapsing to the floor as she emptied what little contents were left in her stomach since she hadn't eaten since yesterday afternoon.

After about fifteen minutes she finally stood on shaky legs and moved back into the living room, using the walls and ledges to help steady her. She crossed her arms over her chest as she looked out the large bay window, admiring the beautiful scenery. She loved the view from here; it was one of the reasons she'd gotten this apartment. It had a great view of Central Park just a block or two away and she could see the small beautiful lake and some boats sailing through the crystal blue waters. She and Ky had taken the kids to Central Park almost every day since they were born and allowed to go outside and even during her pregnancy. They would walk through the park or lie down on the lush green grass as they stared up at the sky or sat up and read books or talked. When the kids were older, they would go to play on the jungle gym or at the basketball courts, but they were often occupied by older kids so they were content with just bouncing their basketball on the concrete of the sidewalk as they strolled through the park. Katie and Derek would sometimes bring along their little motor boats and race them against each other in the water. Surprisingly, Katie won just as many times as Derek did. They had probably gained so much dexterity in the hands from playing the PlayStation to easily manipulate the controls of the motor boats on the remotes they used.

She loved the park; it was so beautiful and it amazed her every time she went there. Haley sighed again as her stomach began to grumble in hunger. She laughed at how ironic it was that not five minutes ago she'd been throwing up and now her stomach was rumbling again, asking for food that would most likely come up later. She suddenly had the urge for a chili dog and had absolutely no reason why. Of course she knew it was the cravings but a chili dog for breakfast at nine in the morning? Not the best choice of food. However, she decided that she would give in to her hunger cravings and get the chili dog. If her cravings got satisfied then she was satisfied too; that was how it worked with her and pregnancy. She would be at the mercy of her body and unborn child until the day that child came out into the world.

Haley bundled up in her large winter coat and wrapped it tightly around her. She would need to get some heavier clothing. It was winter in New York after all and one of the coldest ones yet. She cursed herself silently for not packing a bag of warmer clothes. She had made a rash decision though, heat of the moment. She'd been driving around Tree Hill and suddenly felt that she needed to get away. She she'd put her foot on the gas and drove out of town, not putting a thought to anything else because of the shocked state she was in about the news she'd just received. She didn't know how long she was going to stay here; it was a mystery to her. She hated dumping him with the kids like that and making him take care of them all by himself, but she needed to think and sort out everything she was feeling and adjust to the news of being pregnant again. She couldn't do that with work and the kids, and especially with Luke there. She had reverted back to her former eighteen year old self when she first found out she was pregnant. She was scared and didn't know what to do. She didn't know how to tell Lucas or how he'd react. They had only found each other seven months ago and been together for six months and now she was pregnant? It was so soon. Things were moving so fast.

She was interrupted from her thoughts by another loud grumble from her stomach. Haley sighed as she grabbed her keys and locked the door behind her as she trudged down the stairs and stepped out into the cold winter morning. Haley took and deep breath and she shivered as the frosty air filled her lungs and spread through her body. She walked quickly towards the park, trying to keep her body warm. Haley knew there was a really good hot dog stand in the park. She'd often take the kids there after playing or when they got hungry. They had the best chili dogs for miles around. She found the stand quickly; it was in the same place it always had been. She ordered one then went to a nearby bench to eat. She smiled as she took in the delicious aroma, savoring it for a few moments, before she took a bite. Haley groaned as she tasted it in her mouth, her taste buds assaulted by the wonderful food she hadn't had in so long a time.

After she finished eating, Haley began to stroll through the large park, admiring the beautiful scenery. The trees were bare but a light snow had fallen the night before, covering the ground in a blanket of white. Parents sat on benches by the playground as they watched their children play. Little kids bundled up in jackets and heavy clothing so far to the point that their rosy red cheeks and cherry button nose were all you could see. The lake had frozen over so many people had unearthed their skates from the back of a closet and now glided gracefully over the smooth ice. Well, some were. Haley watched as a little boy who had fallen on the ice was helped up by a young girl about his age. She smiled as she remembered times like those. Winters where she and Lucas would go ice skating but he fell a lot of the time until she actually taught him how to skate.

She heard a noise and turned her head to see a small girl about Katie's age run back to her mother, giggling happily. Haley sank down onto a nearby bench and buried her head in her hands, beginning to cry. How would Katie and Derek react to the news of another sibling? They were used to having all the attention to themselves. What would they think, feel, when the baby came? Her pregnancy would limit her too. She wouldn't be able to run around and play with them like she usually did. She wouldn't be able to pick them up later in her pregnancy because they were getting heavy in her arms even now and heavy lifting was on the 'Do Not Do While Pregnant' list. She would get tired more easily leaving less time for her to spend with them. Time was limited as it was with work and grading papers and Lucas having practices and games with the basketball team. Haley began to cry harder. Was she really right in having this baby? Should she really bring another baby into their already chaotic lives?

Haley was so confused about what she should do. She needed to talk to someone and that person definitely wouldn't be Lucas. He didn't even know about the pregnancy yet. She needed a woman to woman talk. Well, Karen was out. It was hitting too close to home. Kyla. She would be able to help her. They had been through this before with Haley's first pregnancy. She'd had doubts that she would be able to take care of a baby, attend college, and hold a job all at once. Babies were needy and time consuming; they would cry at all hours of the night; she wouldn't get any sleep or homework done. Her grades would slip, she'd have to drop out and end up at some McDonald's for the rest of her life saying, "Would you like fries with that?" Haley shuddered at the thought. In the end, she'd decided to keep her baby, then knowing that she was only having one. The baby was a part of her, a part of Lucas, and she was too much in love with him to do that to him. She knew that Dan had wanted Karen to get an abortion when he found out she was pregnant. She knew it pained him greatly that his own father hadn't wanted him to live, even though his father was an ass and had refused to accept him as his son.

Haley sniffled as she wiped the tears from her face. She still needed to talk to someone. She needed reassurance that everything would be alright. That Lucas would be accepting of the news and not yell at her, that Katie and Derek would adapt to having a new sibling in the house, that she would be able to handle everything that was going on in their lives and the coming months. Pregnancy hadn't been an easy time for her the first round, but she'd been having twins then. Hopefully it wouldn't be as bad the second time. She wasn't good at dealing with stress and stress definitely wasn't good for the baby. She slowly stood from the bench and headed back to the apartment so she could call Kyla.

She settled down on the comforter after she had retrieved her cell phone from her car. She turned it on and saw that she had ten voicemail messages. Probably all of them were from Lucas. She slowly dialed Kyla's phone number as tears welled in her eyes again. She needed to hear Kyla's soothing voice, her rational mind, her reassurance. What she really needed was a hug. Already she was out of control with her emotions and she hated that feeling. She knew the mood swings weren't far behind.

Kyla answered several rings later and before the woman on the other end of the line could say anything, Haley said shakily, "K-Ky?" "Haley, oh my god! Lucas, Karen, and I have been worried sick about you! Where the hell are you? Are you alright? Are you and the baby okay," Kyla asked frantically through the receiver. Haley's head shot up from looking down at her hand playing with the fabric of the comforter at her last question. "H-How did you know," she asked, eyes wide in shock. "Hales, Luke found the pregnancy test in the trash can when he went to take out the garbage the other day. Why didn't you tell us," she questioned softly. "I-I don't know. I was scared…" Haley replied with a whimper. Kyla sighed, "I know sweetie…" "I don't know what to do Ky," Haley whispered with a squeaky voice. "Haley, do you want this baby," Kyla asked with surprise.

She nodded but then remembered that Kyla couldn't see her. "Yes," she said quietly. "Then what's the problem? Haley, Lucas loves you, and he already loves this baby. This isn't the same situation as the one you were in five years ago. Hales, you're not eighteen anymore, you're twenty-three years old. You're engaged to a wonderful man and the father of your children. Both of you are extremely happy together and now you're having a baby… I don't see what's wrong with that," Kyla responded, trying to knock some sense into her friend. Haley looked down at her stomach and softly placed her hand on it, a small smile forming on her lips. "Thanks Ky," Haley whispered as she sniffled through her tears. "No problem sweetie," Kyla replied, "You just come home okay?" However, Haley didn't hear this last line as she had hung up and Kyla heard the dial tone sounding in her ear.

Haley curled up with the comforter and pillows after she hung up her phone. She clutched one of them in her arms as she slowly began to rub her stomach. A few moments passed and she lifted the hem of her shirt up slightly, noticing the slight bulge and roundness for the first time. Haley's eyes widened. She couldn't be that far along, could she? She wouldn't be showing this early if she'd conceived Christmas night after Lucas had proposed to her. It had to have been…no, it couldn't be… the night they'd had the candlelit dinner or maybe a few days after that with the strawberries in the kitchen…That was three, almost four months ago! How could she have not noticed the signs? The throwing up, the nausea, the headaches and dizziness, the fevers… God, how could she have been so blind? She knew. She'd been sick with Bronchitis and the flu. Then a thought hit her that caused her eyes to widen even more as she placed her hand back on her stomach. What if she'd gotten the baby sick? Being sick for so long had to have an effect on the baby. Haley quickly stood and pulled on her big overcoat as fast as she could then grabbed her purse and keys, racing down to her car and quickly driving to the hospital.

Haley sat there in the cold, gray exam room, her arms wrapped around her stomach protectively as she waited for the results of he tests the doctor had taken more than an hour ago. The wait was killing her and she was so scared, more than she ever had been besides when Derek was born and she hadn't heard him crying. She wished with all her might that Lucas was there with her, holding her hand, stroking her hair, whispering comforting words and telling her that everything would be alright, that nothing was wrong with the baby. Ten minutes later, the doctor finally reentered the room, a clipboard in hand, and sat on the little rolling stool. He looked over the papers one more time before looking up at her. "Is-Is my baby okay," Haley asked the doctor shakily, her chin and lower lip trembling as tears threatened to spill down her cheeks.

"Your baby is fine, Ms. James. You do need to get rid of that cold though. I'm going to prescribe you some medicine to break up that nasty cough and get rid of the flu. These ones are a bit stronger than the ones your other doctor gave you, but they're also okay for pregnant women to take. Take two a day for about two weeks then one a day for one more week. I wouldn't recommend taking them past that amount of time. I'm also going to prescribe you some prenatal vitamins. You can get these all refilled at your local pharmacy where you live when you need more, okay?" "T-Thank you," Haley replied as she took the papers from his outstretched hand.

Haley slept the rest of the day and woke up early the next morning, nausea hitting her once again. Thankfully, she'd had somewhat of a good sleep last night because she had a long two days of driving ahead of her. She was heading back home. Once she'd packed all of her things back in the car, she went back up to the apartment to make sure she hadn't forgotten anything. Haley stared at the empty apartment surrounding her, remembering all the years she'd lived here with Katie and Derek. Her previous life was in the past now. She had to move on, move forward. She was with Lucas now; they were engaged to be married and they were going to have a baby. Life couldn't be better, right?