FPM : HEY EVRiBUDi ! soooo sorry I haven't updated in …forever, but (Bum, bum, BUM!) I WENT TO FRANCE! YEAH! Oh, so many hotties, so little time…(drools)

Cell: (snickers) so much for 16…

16: HEY! (pouts, then looks at FPM)…FPM, you love me still, right?

FPM: (dreaming of hotties)

16: RIGHT?

FPM: mmm, Jerome…( snaps out) –huh? Yeah, um, sure…mmm, Jerome…

16: (cries) CURSE YOU SON-GOKU!

Cell: HEY! That's MY line, stupid android!

16: WHO YOU CALLING ANDROID, YOU ANDROID?

Cell: (cries)…I want a muffin.

16: yeay! I'll make you one! (puts on apron) okay, so-

(sounds in background)

Cell: wait…what's that?

16: huh?

Cell: shh! Listen…(16 and Cell stand close)

(17: yes, Yes, YES!)

Cell/16: AIGHHHHHHHHHHHH….(run away)

-----

17: yes, Yes, YESS! (does moonwalk) I got it, I got it….

18: (peers at self in mirror) Hmm. Not bad. Who knew you did hair? …

-----

FPM: mmm, Jerome…(still drooling…)

-----

Crystal stumbled over the doorstep and fell onto her face. She groaned as her head throbbed with even more pain. Pushing herself up from the floor using her left hand, Crystal rubbed her face and ran her right hand through her hair, attempting (though not succeeding) to straighten out her knotted and clumped hair. Sighing, she leaned against the doorway's side rail and rested her head against the black wood. Through her hair, she could feel the cool material, and so turned her head and kept her forehead on the wood to keep it cool. Closing her eyes, she focused her thoughts on what happened the previous night…

Though, what did happen the other night?

-----

Trunks had finished wolfing down his food in time to finish his homework before he left to school. Goku tried to help him with it, but didn't know more (or as much) as Trunks.

"Ya mean you never wen' to school? How crazy is that!" Trunks stared at Goku in disbelief. A small smile suddenly appeared in place of his gaping mouth. "Man, you're my new hero."

Goku smiled just as a door creaked open.

"—Rrmph. What a friggin' headache."

Goku and Trunks both turned their heads to find Vegeta chugging down water bottle after bottle with his eyes closed. After devouring thirty-four bottles of mineral water, Vegeta wiped his mouth and breathed in deeply; he let out what could almost be mistaken for a sigh. After rolling his head around in counter-clockwise circles, Vegeta opened his eyes and turned his head to see Goku and Trunks staring back at him.

"What friggin' business do you friggin' have in my friggin' house?" Vegeta snarled as he stared at Goku. Vegeta's eyes suddenly darted to Trunks's enlarged ones and calmly added, "Sleep well?"

Trunks almost burst out laughing from his father's mood swing, but kept his emotions hiddenas henodded and darted out the door. Vegeta smiled, proud of his son, but then closed his eyes and frowned. "Well, Kakkarot, do you like the interior? Or is there another reason why you're staying in my house?" Vegeta suddenly opened his eyes and glared at Goku. "Well? What's your excuse?"

"Uh, I wasn't trying to intrude here, Vegeta. --Bulma just offered me a place to stay 'cause…"

"Hmm? Tell me…" Vegeta grinned. "You have my interest."

As Goku was about to answer, Bulma appeared next to Vegeta and smacked his head with a stove pan Goku had been using earlier. The batter splattered all over Vegeta from the pan (Goku could have sworn he smelt it cooking, too).

"He's a guest, you moron! And you don't go interrogating guests!" Bulma sreamed in Vegeta's ear.

Vegeta quickly gathered himself after he wiped off the un-cooked batter that clung to him…Goku suddenly noticed Vegeta was only wearing a towel around his hips and that his hair was still wet, though it was up, like usual.

"Hey, Vegeta…" Goku continued staring, "-did you take a bath?"

Vegeta was dumbfounded, and his shock was obvious. After a few minutes, Vegeta glared. "What do you think I did, you idiot! Swim in a lake?" he roared defensively.

Bulma smacked him upside the head again. "There you go interrogating our guest again. Ya know, he's almost been here for a week and only now you're-"

"A week! That's preposterous! Why don't you settle him down and adopt him, for God's Sake?"

"Why do you criticize everything I do? Don't you care an ounce about me?-"

"Goddamnit-- I do, woman! Christ!" Vegeta suddenly wrapped his arms around Bulma, pulled her close, and nestled his lips against hers. They both closed their eyes as Bulma placed her hands on Vegeta's ears and accepted his kiss. Goku watched in morbid curiosity as the two continued to kiss and embrace each other lovingly.

-----

Trunks met up with Goten and Gohan at the school bus stop.

"Hey, Trunks!" Goten smiled warmly. "How'd your morning go?"

"Great, yours?"

"Great, thanks!"

Both of their smiles suddenly faded as they both realized the two of them were lying. They stared at each other, and their rosy cheeks dropped their color. Trunks knew Goku was staying at his house for another reason—one deeper than Capsule Corp. just having good food. And Goten had never experienced his mother being as easily shaken as she was now, and he knew that Trunks knew where Goku was. The fact that they had lied to each other easily bothered both of them, and they dropped their heads in shame. Gohan sighed as his heart filled with despair after being reminded for what seemed the thousandth time that his parents were going through a disagreement—and at the most important time yet: right before the Cell Games! Gohan looked away and watched as the blue bus pulled up.

"C"mon, guys. Just (sigh)…one-hundred, eighty-nine days 'till the year's over." Gotten and Trunks nodded sullenly and followed Gohan into the bus.

-----

Goku had grown bored after four minutes. The first minute had gone by in a flash because this was something new that he had never experienced watching; the second and third went by semi-fast as Goku tried to memorize what and how they did it… and the last was just plain boring.

Sighing, Goku turned and went to the black leather couch and plopped himself down. He stared at the coffee table where he noticed two slim bags from the Quik-E-Mart that was at the end of the block. He opened the first bag and pulled out a magazine that read "flirt—for girls by girls" as the title and a picture of a group of teens that could be considered "popular" in the middle of the page. He flipped through a couple pages just as he heard a "Whumph!" as something(s) hit the floor. Goku turned around in reaction to the sound.

He found Vegeta and Bulma on the ground, still kissing as Bulma untied the towel around Vegeta… Goku turned back around before he picked up any more details. He stared aimlessly at the magazine, fully bored from just looking at the clump of papers for a mere two minutes, but shrugged and flipped on. He found a page the said "Are You A Good Lover?" at the top of the page. His eyes widened and he kept his finger on the page as he flipped the book shut and peered at the cover. "They're only teens!..." he continued flipping back and forth, amazed something as this was in the magazine. He shrugged and the first question:

"When he leans in to kiss, what do you do?

a) kiss him first

b) turn so he only gets a cheek

c) say "no"

d) this has never happened"

Goku thought back on past memories…though it saddened him that he had to refer to a long while back. Chi-Chi had surprised him by cradling her arms from behind him –back when both of them were in love. He had then kissed her check… He had kissed her first. Goku took the pencil from off the table and marked " a)". He read on.

"Who makes the next move?

a) I do

b) he does

c) there isn't one

d) this has never happened"

He bit his lip. "Next move"? What did that mean? Goku shrugged and marked "a)" again.

"What comes off first?

a) shirt and pants

b) shirt

c) nothing

d) this has never happened"

Goku knew he didn't have to think on this one--he took off her shirt while she took off his pants. He beamed. Logic! Proud, he marked "a)".

"When do you do it?

a) anywhere, anytime

b) inside, anytime

c) never

d) what are you talking about?"

"b)".

"Why do you do it?

a) I want to

b) he wants to

c) don't do it period

d) never dealt with situation"

He stared, dumbfounded. I'm the guy, but it says he wants to…oh, right, it's a girl's magazine. …Um…"a)" or "b)"? …I'll check both! Yeah…

"What protection do you use?

a) Trojan

b) "c" and pill

c) don't need because don't do it

d) huh?"

Goku was blushing now. Aw man-- this is crazy! I'm taking a quiz in a girl's magazine about sex… What guy does that? Man! Oh well… started so might as well finish… speaking of which-- Goku turned around and found neither Vegeta nor Bulma…he shrugged. Privacy, I guess…anyways…uh…"a)"

"Who goes in?

a) I make him

b) he just does

c) no one ever

d) what?"

He shrugged again and marked both "a)" and "b)" …then he wondered if he should try this from Chi-Chi's point of view…

"How many releases?

a) can't count

b) one or two

c) none

d) I ask again: what?"

Goku smiled--Finally I can answer one! …I can't count in general--is that what this means? oh well …"a)"

"How long is foreplay?

a) what foreplay?

b) a little bit

c) never dealt with it

d) what's that?"

Goku marked "d)".

"After each date?

a) definitely

b) maybe

c) never

d) never had a date"

Goku shrugged. He guessed he could consider every Friday a date…he checked "a)".

His eyes wandered to the bottom of the page where, in bold, it said, "turn to the next page for your answer!" Obediently, Goku flipped the page. His eyes skimmed over the colorful sheet:

"if you marked mostly "a"s, you're :
an aggressive lover. You get what you want, whoever it's with. (Sometimes too much dominance--one more testosterone molecule and you'll be shaving your face! …granted you already don't…)

if you marked mostly "b"s, you're:
an old-fashioned lover. You're in the right place and let the guy take over--or is that because you're too shy? No reason to if you're considering that he's "the one"…have some fun next time!

if you marked mostly "c"s, you're:
choosing abstinence. Why'd you take the test?

if you marked mostly "d"s, you're:
pathetic. Don't bother buying this mag anymore."

Goku was shocked at the last answer. How could sweet, little girls be so mean and nasty to each other--especially their buyers? Goku looked back at his answers and found himself to be "mostly "a"s. you're: an aggressive lover." Smiling and content with his answer (and definition of his answer), he circled it and closed the book with the pencil inside. He opened up the blue magazine, though he noticed this one said "flr-t --4 guyz bi guyz" and that this magazine was blue (the previous had been mostly pink). Shrugging, he opened it to the first page--

where he found a Playboy mag sewn into it. Goku quickly shut it and shoved both magazines into the bags. He stood up and brushed himself off, newly-found confidence overwhelming him. At least I know it wasn't the sex that drove Chi-Chi away…or was I too aggressive? Damn it!

-----

Cell woke up with his legs bent at different (though not abnormal) angles. He sat up and instantly found the blood in his head to flow out of it. Immediately, Cell laid back down and sighed.

'I can't understand it…nothing makes sense not here...kay, I'll go make some toast for the chicken...'

-holy friggin' cow! Are you nuts? Since when do chicken eat bread? -They like dried corn, nincompoop!-

'Eh? Corn? It's TOAST…'

-CORN!-

'TOAST!'

-CORN!'

'TOAST!'

-COR—oh what the hell. You know it's corn-

/how did—and why would—you know that/

-erm...-

/C'mon, Cell! Don't you remember anything/

'Uh...no, but I know Bessie'll be need'n a wash t'day...'

/oh my god, he's an idiot. NO, Cell! You were the only one I could talk to! Now I have two brothers...because of you! It's all because of you! YOU,YOU,YOU,YOU/

'...? Like I said, bread for the chicken and the cow needs-a-washin'."

/Cell/

'Yess'm?'

/...there are no cattle (or farms, for that matter) around here-- for miles! Actually, I don't think there are any on this continent…/

'…erm...'

-you an' me boff, brutha. You an' me boff…-

---

FPM: oh my god (blushes) that had to be the most dirty chapt-

Cell: (pouts) well, I didn't like it 'cause I didn't get to do much. I mean-

FPM: STOP CUTTIN' ME OFF LIKE THAT! -Anywho ...well, because I feel so bad about not giving you "admirers" (if all haven't died-out yet. :) anything to read from this story since...well, the end of first semester (yeeck!) , I'll extend this chapter. Hope ya like it:)

Cell: (slaps hands) GOODIE! A longer part!

16: (enraged—rips off apron) WHEN DO I COME IN?

FPM: (shocked) erm... (pouts) just read the friggin' story. I gotta go t' summer school.

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…

-----

FPM: shit. I can't think of anything.

Cell: Well…if it's any correlation, I haven't gotten my muffin yet.

FPM: WHO CARES ABOUT YOUR FRIGGIN' MUFFIN?

Cell: (pouts) I do…(looks at 16, cries)

16: Don't look at me…don't- (cries)

17: pfft. Babies. (watches Cell and 16, cries)

FPM: …?

18: there are no more MANLY MEN…what a sad concept…(cries)

FPM: (stares) whatever. I have my picture of Jerome, and that's all—

18: (rips it up, cries)

FPM: …I'VE GOT THREE-HUNDRED and TEN MORE! WAHAHAHA!...but I used up all of my money. (cries)