Hello!
And on we go to the next part!
INT. CONTROL ROOM
We get our first good look at General Greivous. He seems to be a droid, but he has funky human eyes and an obvious lung problem.
Greivous: Bring the humans! Bleagh!
Anakin, Obi-Wan, and Palpatine are brought in.
Greivous: Bleagh! You're a little stupider than I thought. Bleagh!
Anakin: You're a little uglier than I thought.
Greivous: I KEEEEEL YOU, JEDI!
Anakin: R2! Save me!
R2 pops a million little weapons out of his body and frees Obi-Wan and Anakin. They get their lightsabers back using the FORCE. Anakin talks to Greivous while Obi-Wan fights his spinny-droidy things.
Greivous: I'm totally going to jack your lightsaber when you're dead, Jedi! Bleagh!
Anakin: Over my dead body!
Greivous: …Bleagh! That's what I said!
Anakin: Over my dead body!
Greivous: Bleagh! But I said…then you…Bleagh! You're confusing me! Screw this!
He breaks a window, turning everything into a vacuum. Then he turns into a spider and escapes from the ship, which is shot in that exact moment.
Obi-Wan: Anakin! Can you drive this piece of shit?
Anakin: Sure hope so!
Palpatine: You damn well better! Or there won't be a movie!
Anakin drives the ship toward Corusant. On the way, the ship breaks in half.
Obi-Wan: I think we lost something!
Palpatine: Hmmm, ya THINK!
They enter Corusant atmosphere. Firefighters surround them.
Firefighter: Dude, you are HOT!
Anakin: Why, thank you!
Firefighter: I mean…uh…ship…on fire.
Anakin: Oh. We are going to land now. By land, I mean skid across the ground until we stop.
INT. GREAT HALL THING
A bunch of people greet the Chancellor.
People: Yay! You're back! But you know, it's been much better here without a Sith Lord…
Palpatine: …right. Glad to see you too!
Anakin and Obi-Wan talk.
Obi-Wan: Ok, see you later. Got to go be a JEDI MASTER. On the JEDI COUNCIL. Have fun with your politician friends, WHO AREN'T JEDI.
Anakin: Whatever. Oh look! It's Padme!
Padme: I thought you were dead.
Anakin: Now honey, if I die, there wouldn't be a movie!
Padme: Oh yeah. Anyway, I'm pregnant! Isn't it great!
Anakin: …
Padme: Isn't it?
Anakin: …
Padme:…YOU HATE ME! (cries)
Anakin: Huh? Oh, wait! It's great! A baby! Yeah!
Padme: (stops crying) I know! And I even have a special on/off pregnancy button!
Anakin: Cool.
INT. PADME/ANAKIN'S HOUSE
Padme: (brushing hair) And I'll make the room pink and put it by the garden, and stay on Naboo forever, and get fired from my job and-
Anakin: …
Padme: -and you'll get fired too, and we'll have no more money, but we'll have a baby!
Anakin: Huh? Oh! You're soooo beautiful.
Padme: Aww! I love you!
LATER THAT NIGHT
Anakin has a dream, in which Padme dies in childbirth. He gets up without a shirt on, giving us a perfect view of his abs/chest.
Drooling Fangirls: SQUEEEE!
Anakin walks around outside. Padme follows.
Padme: What's wrong? Do you hate me?
Anakin: …no. I had a bad dream.
Padme: Oh, did the sweety-weety-wittle-Annie have a bad dream? Tell me about it.
Anakin: You died.
Padme: …Damn! I mean, I won't die!
Anakin: You aren't in the next movie!
Padme: …
INT. YODA'S MEDITATING ROOM THING
Anakin: I have dreams…that your arms are lovely…
Yoda: What?
Anakin: I mean, uh, I see dead people.
Yoda: Sucks that does.
Anakin: How do I stop?
Yoda: Away from everyone get. No one you care about. No problem that should be, because married you are not.
Anakin: …yeah.
INT. WAR STRATEGY PLACE
Obi-Wan: You missed the meeting.
Anakin: About what?
Obi-Wan: The WAR.
Anakin: What war?
Obi-Wan: (rolls eyes) Anyway, the Chancellor wants to 'see' you.
Anakin: Cool.
Obi-Wan: Be careful. Palpatine is a meanie head. And he's probably evil, because he's a POLITICIAN!
Anakin: …right.
INT. PALPATINE'S OFFICE
Palpatine: I want you to represent me at the Council.
Anakin: I am overwhelmed.
Palpatine: That's a BIG word! Who taught it to you?
INT. JEDI COUNCIL
Anakin: I get to be on the council because Palpatine said so!
Mace Windu: Think again, smartass! I don't trust you or the Chancellor dude.
Council: Me neither.
Anakin: (whining) But Palpatine SAID!
Mace Windu: Whatever. Be on the council. But you're not a Master.
Anakin: THAT'S NOT FAIR! I HATE YOU!
Council: …wtf?
Anakin: Ahem. I mean, ok.
Mace Windu: Right. Now, anyone know where General Coughs-A-Lot is?
Council+Anakin: Nope.
Mace Windu: Damn. Meeting over.
TBC…
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QueenofFlarmphgal