Hello again!
SO SORRY for the late update! It completely flew out of my mind on Friday, and then I went on a computer-free vacation all weekend, and….
Sorry.
Anyway, here's the next chapter!
INT. PALPATINE'S ROOM
Anakin and Palpatine walk around in Palpatine's closet.
Palpatine: (closing door) I have a secret!
Anakin: Um…
Palpatine: I know everything about the Force. Even the Dark Side!
Anakin: GASP! But that's like…evil!
Palpatine: Going to kill me?
Anakin: No, that would be too smart. But I'm TELLING ON YOU!
He runs away to find Mace Windu.
INT. WOOKIE PLANET
Yoda: Hello wookies!
Chewbacca: Mwaaaaaaaagh.
Yoda: Useless this army is.
King Wookie: Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!
Yoda: Fight anyway you should.
Wookies: Woot!
A very small and pathetic Wookie army takes on the droids with the help of the clones.
INT. UTAPAU
Obi-Wan jumps off the car-alarm lizard and onto the O-Mobile. They stop at a conveniently empty hangar when the O-Mobile breaks.
Greivous: NOOOO! Bleagh! You broke my O-Mobile!
Obi-Wan: Ha ha!
Greivous: I kill you HARDER!
Greivous, because he is (mostly) a robot, grabs Obi-Wan and throws him against a few walls. Obi-Wan never seems to get hurt or knocked out. Until he kicks Greivous.
Obi-Wan: AAAAAA! MY TOE! IT'S BROKEN! MOMMY!
Greivous throws Obi-Wan to the ledge. Obi-Wan holds on and gets a gun . As Greivous approaches, he shoots him in his real, beating heart. Why a droid has a heart, I don't know.
Greivous: AAAA! HEARTBURN!
Tylenol lady: He needs some TYLENOL HEARTBURN!
Greivous burns and dies.
Obi-Wan: Cool! I win! But this gun- humph! It's so uncivilized!
INT. GREAT HALL
Anakin runs in and smacks into Mace Windu.
Mace Windu: Oh, it's you. Great news! Obi-Wan killed Greivous all by himself. Without you.
Anakin: He did? But…Wait! No! Palpatine is a Sith Lord!
Mace Windu: Sure he is.
Anakin: No! He is! Really!
Mace Windu: Fine, I'll come. But you had BETTER be right. And stay here.
Mace and two unimportant Jedi go to kill, I mean, arrest Palpatine.
Mace Windu; You're under arrest!
Palpatine: Over your dead body!
Palpatine gets out a lightsaber and kills the unimportant Jedi while Mace twirls his lightsaber around.
Mace Windu: Nooooo! Die, die, die!
They fight. Mace gets the upper hand and pins Palpatine down.
Mace Windu: Now you're REALLY under arrest, chuckle head!
Anakin: (burst in) Noooooooo!
Mace Windu: I TOLD YOU TO STAY BEHIND!
Anakin: So?
Palpatine: Die, Mace!
He shoots lightning at Mace, but he absorbs it easily into his lightsaber. Palpatine keeps doing it and begins to shrivel up like a prune.
Palpatine: No! My pretty!
Mace Windu: Now I'm going to kill you. MOO HA HA!
Anakin: No! DON'T KILL HIM!
Mace Windu: YES! DIE!
Palpatine: Anakin save me!
Anakin: Okay!
He chops off Mace's arm, making him lose control. Palpatine shoots some more lightning, making Mace fall out of the window. Let it be known that Mace Windu was the only Jedi to ever die by falling off of a high building.
Anakin: Shit! Why do I keep killing the wrong people?
Palpatine: Because you're EVIL! Be EVIL with me!
Anakin: Okay! Sounds fun! Yay! Now Padme won't die!
Palpatine: Um, yeah! You are now Darth Vader! Now go kill the Jedi children.
Anakin: Okay! What about the, you know, trained Jedi? Should I kill them?
Palpatine: No, I'll take care of them!
Anakin, I mean, Darth Vader leaves while the Darth Vader music plays! A bunch of Storm Troopers, I mean, clones come along.
INT. JEDI COUNCIL ROOM
A bunch of 'younglings' are hiding. Anakin walks in, a spring in his step.
Little kid: Oh yay! Skywalker will save us!
Anakin: You know, I didn't put killing younglings on my resume…oh well.
Audience: NO! ANAKIN! NO!
Anakin draws his lightsaber.
Younglings: wtf?
Meanwhile, Palpatine gets out his hologram thing.
Palpatine: Execute order 65!
Clones: Okay men, strip and do the-
Palpatine: NO! NO! I mean 66!
Clones: Oh. Okay. Kill the Jedi.
We watch a very sad sequence in which tons of Jedi are killed in fairly pathetic ways, considering they all survived the intense gunning at Geonosis.
INT. UTAPAU
Clones: Hey, here's your lightsaber.
Obi-Wan: Thanks.
He rides away on car-alarm lizard.
Clones: …okay, kill him.
They shoot the cliff with a giant gun. Obi-Wan and car-alarm lizard fall in the water. But Obi-Wan doesn't die. Because if he died, there wouldn't be a movie!
INT. WOOKIE PLANET
Yoda feels all of the Jedi dying. He gets all sad, but when clones try to kill him he kills them in about a second.
Yoda: Sucks this does.
Chewbacca: Mwaaaaaaaaaagh!
Yoda: Leave I think I will.
Yoda jumps on Chewbacca's shoulders, and later gets into a little tree-escape pod.
Audience: Awwww…
Yoda: Farewell, Chewbacca. Meet again in a sequel, we will not.
TBC….
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