Hello folks! I know, it's been a while, but things have been so crazy here. What with going back to (gulp) school in two weeks….
Anyway, here's the second-to-last installment!
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INT. ANAKIN/PADME'S HOUSE
Padme: (cries) (turns pregnancy on)
Anakin: Hi!
Padme: I thought you were dead.
Anakin: I'M NOT! I'M IN THE SEQUEL!
Padme: Look! The Jedi Temple's under attack!
Anakin: That…sucks…
Padme: What are you going to do?
Anakin: Leave. Bye!
He does.
Padme: (cries)
C-3P0: I'm quite useless, aren't I?
INT. SECRET JEDI HQ
Yoda: Dead the Jedi are.
Obi-Wan somehow got there.
Obi-Wan: Let's go look for survivors!
Yoda: Okay!
Senator Alderan: I'm going to a meeting. I'm sure it's not a trap.
Obi-Wan: Whatever.
INT. JEDI TEMPLE
Obi-Wan and Yoda finish off all the clones.
Obi-Wan: Whoa. This sucks quite a bit.
Yoda: Killed by a Jedi these ones were.
Obi-Wan: I wonder who? I know! I'll look at the handy-dandy security tapes!
Yoda: If look at the security tapes you do, only pain will you find.
Obi-Wan: …right. Oh no! Anakin went to the Dark Side! Who saw that coming?
Audience+Yoda: We did!
Yoda: Destroy the Sith we must. Destroy the apprentice you must.
Obi-Wan: Dammit. Where is he anyway?
Yoda: How the hell should I know?
INT. SENATE ROOM
Palpatine: I am horribly scarred and disfigured not because I am a Sith but because I got attacked with a lightsaber.
Guy next to him: God. You are one ugly guy.
Palpatine: Shut up! Anyway, let's build an empire! And I can be king!
Everyone else: COOOL!
Padme: God these people are stupid. But I won't do anything about it, because I might hurt my currently nonexistent baby.
INT. PADME/ANAKIN'S HOUSE
Obi-Wan: Hi. Where's Anakin?
Padme: Somewhere.
Obi-Wan: He's evil, you know.
Padme: NOOOOOO! (cries)
Obi-Wan: Where is he again?
Padme: Will you kill him if I tell you?
Obi-Wan: Yes.
Padme: WAAAAAAAAAHHHH!
Obi-Wan: Anakin's the father, huh?
Padme: What?
Obi-Wan: You didn't turn off your pregnancy, dummy.
Padme: Shit! (does)
INT. MUSTAFAR
Palpatine hologram: So yeah, Darth Vader will come to 'take care of you'.
Sepratists: Let's be oblivious! YAY!
Anakin: See ya in hell, shitheads!
He kills them.
INT. CORUSANT HANGAR
Padme is leaving to talk to Anakin. How she even knows where he is, I don't know.
Padme: (to S. Alderan) I'll be fine. C-3P0 will protect me. Hey, where is he?
C-3P0: Ooooohh…shiny gun…must…touch…(BOOM!)
Padme: Bye then!
She boards. Obi-Wan sneaks on and hides. Padme is wearing a kindergartener sized dress, which doesn't show her pregnancy, even though it is turned on.
INT. MUSTAFAR
Anakin sees the ship coming in and goes to greet it.
Padme: I thought you were dead!
Anakin: AAAAA! I WON'T DIE! I'M IN THE FLIPPING SEQUEL! HOW MANY TIMES MUST I TELL YOU!
Padme: …Obi-Wan said you're evil and killed (snicker) younglings (snicker)!
Anakin: But the Chancellor is starting an Empire! He offered it to me freely. Long have I desired this…in place of a Dark Lord you will have a KING! NOT DARK, BUT SEXY AND TERRIBLE AS THE DAWN! TREACHEROUS AS THE SEA! STRONGER THAN THE FOUNDATIONS OF THE GALAXY! ALL SHALL LOVE ME AND DESPAIR!
Padme: Waaaaahh! You suck!
Anakin: Your mama sucks! (chokes her)
Obi-Wan: Here I come, to save the day!
Anakin: YOU! I HATE YOU THE MOST! IT'S ON, OLD MAN!
I wasn't sure how to translate this into Yoda-speak. Sorry!
To Be Concluded….
Please review!
QueenofFlarmphgal