Disclaimer: Kishimoto Masashi is my biatch! FEAR ME! XD I'm kidding of course. Naruto isn't mine. Don't sue.

Author's note: Well, my FAQ certainly received very interesting responses. XD I'm glad you liked it. XD Truth is, my parents DO know I write uh, sexually explicit stuff, but they think it's hetero, not yaoi. More plot this chapter! XD

And crap, I made a continuity mistake! In Chap. 2, I had Ino married to Shikamaru, but last chapter, they were sort of dating! ARGH! Now edited chapter 2. So Ino and Shika are still dating. Sorry for my mistake!

Warnings: Yaoi. Lime. Slight violence in the future. Don't like? Run now.

Pairings: Uh, SasuNaru, of course, a bit of NejiNaru, GaaraNaru, and vice versa. XD

Special thanks to: Lady Samurai: Hahaha! Same here. They don't know what yaoi means, though my dad has a bit of a clue what it means…XD

Azamiko: True! True! And I also act like that! For some strange reason, I can't stand kissing/love scenes in movies or film. And I'm nearly twenty-one years old.

Bhodi li: Uhm, he's not dating anyone, really. And him and Neji? You'll find out more next chapter!

Wiglady: You'll feel sorrier for Sasuke soon enough! XD

Asinine: Yes, Weiss Kreuz is a GREAT fandom. XD And I agree about the Rookie Nine!

Strawberries and Napkins: I agree on the bathroom thing. And though all yaoi fans dream of that moment, I doubt Kishimoto would draw a scene like that, which is sad. XD And I'll take your word that you're batman. XD

Vin: One word: Maybe. XD

Rachel: Thank you. XD Yes, parents are prone to freaking out, I've noticed. XD Of course there will be more SasuNaru scenes! XD

The Lazy Fairy: Thank you. I've been desperately trying to improve my writing for the past years or so. I'm glad you think the characters are IC. That's the problem with many fics, the out of character-ness of stories.

Sol fa: I hope you didn't wait that long for this one! XD

Yum2: We could have Shikamaru do that. XD Wow! Your mother's very open-minded! I envy you! XD

Chubby-King-Chocobbo: Uh, thank you. XD Yes, sasuke's a pretty fast mover. XD

Tristripe: Thank you. XD Hope you enjoyed the other chapters!

PrinsesaSasurin: Thank you! That's ok! I hope you're having fun with your plans! I had fun with mine! XD

This one is for Muraki-chan, a good friend of mine. Now if she'll only update her fanfiction…and for Momo-chan, who gave me tons of yaoi manga scans:gets dragged away:

Chapter IV: Oddity

The first time they met, they ended up destroying their room.

"Whose idea was it to put those two boys together in a room, anyway?" Kurenai asked as she surveyed the damage. Bits of broken furniture littered the ground, along with bits of plaster crumbling from large holes in the wall. Goose down and tattered fabrics filled the air in the room.

Asuma glanced past his shoulder at Kakashi, who was now talking to the two sullen, bruised boys, the carefree smile still plastered on his face. "Who else? Kakashi, of course."

"He's an idiot. Those two have completely different personalities. They'd kill each other." She flashed Asuma an annoyed look. "And would you please stop smoking in my presence? If you want to commit legal suicide, do it on your own."

Smiling, Asuma took a long drag out his cigarette, and then blew out perfect smoke rings. If looks could kill, Asuma would be dead and buried by now. "Well, judging from the damage they did to the room, they nearly did. What are they fighting about, anyway? Skills? Food? Girls?"

"No. It was a kiss."

Asuma's mouth hung open, cigarette nearly dropping to the floor. "A kiss?"

Kurenai smirked. "Both of them accidentally tripped and ended up kissing the other. They were arguing who tripped first." She glanced at the two boys as they continued to argue loudly.

"He stole my first kiss! ARGH! I was saving that for SAKURA! Give me back my first kiss, you snobbish bastard!"

"I didn't steal your first kiss. No one in his right mind would kiss a complete, dead-last moron like you."

"WHAT DID YOU SAY, you FU–"

"Now, now, let's not say bad–"

"–CKING ASSHOLE?"

"–words."

-------

"Naruto, wake UP!" Sakura hissed under her breath, roughly shaking Naruto awake. "Some journalist you are, falling asleep in the middle of a speech–"

"–which is just full of bullshit," Naruto muttered, barely sparing a glance at the red-faced old man at the podium. He'd listened enough to the old man's speech to know there was nothing substantial to what he'd been saying. The old man was simply praising the company and its people. Besides, he could always get a copy from the speech from the person's speechwriter, which he already had sitting in his house, along with other documents he got from a quick research about the party and Hebi Corporations.

He'd also taken note of who were the guests in this party for later checking. He wasn't being lazy. After all, he wasn't the one who was going to write an article about the party. That would be his co-workers, a senior reporter of Konohagakure Times' business section, Urahara Saki, and Ishida Himeko, a columnist for the lifestyle section. Both sat on a table not far from the stage, listening to the speech with rapt attention. They would be the one writing the articles on the party, not him. Naruto made a mental note to talk with Saki and Himeko tomorrow.

Naruto inwardly chafed at Sakura's admonition. He hadn't been sleeping! He was just…reminiscing on the first time he and Sasuke met when they were children.

He and Sasuke had never gotten along during the first few years they had known each other. Sasuke was then a newcomer to the group, but the Uchiha already had this high and mighty attitude about him, which had pissed Naruto off, as the blond had been part of the group much earlier than Sasuke. Not only that, Sasuke captured the attention and affections of Sakura, who was then Naruto's crush.

Of course, the kissing incident had just worsened the things between them. Naruto smiled at himself. How strange that a few years later, he and Sasuke would be trading more than just kisses.

The whole 'thing' he and Sasuke had was really weird at first. They had nothing in common, except the fact that they were orphans then. Naruto had then always thought that he was an orphan since birth, while Sasuke had just been orphaned. Maybe the thing they had was because of loneliness. Or maybe it was just raging teenage hormones.

"Naruto, pay attention!"

Naruto sighed and straightened from his slouching posture. Why did Sakura have to be obsessed with manners and propriety? He and Shikamaru (who was also being scolded by Ino) shared a look of understanding. Then Naruto glared at Kakashi, who seemed to be amused with the whole thing.

"Uchiha's up," Neji said, stiffening a little. Naruto's eyes zoomed in on Sasuke, who, much to Naruto's annoyance, looked perfect and neat despite what they did in the bathroom. Argh. I should have messed up that bastard's clothes somehow. Splashed some water or crumpled his suit. You wouldn't think he'd been harassing me minutes before.

In the corner of his eye, Naruto saw Shikamaru and Kakashi shift in their seats, the indifferent look in their eyes changing to one of acute alertness. Even Lee looked attentive.

Whatever they were looking for in Sasuke's speech, they didn't find it, Naruto noted when he saw the brief flash of disappointed in their eyes as they listened to Sasuke's speech. Unlike the other speeches, he didn't get a copy of Sasuke's speech, and he'd be damned before he would ask Sasuke for a copy.

The speech was very much like the one the old man gave, but Sasuke's language was more…confident, in Naruto's opinion. Even his gestures and voice showed it. Naruto was about to close his eyes and tune out Sasuke when something caught his attention.

"–has made mergers of late with several companies–" Sasuke was saying, but that was not what caught Naruto's attention. It was the ghoulish man sitting just behind Sasuke.

Orochimaru was smirking. Not at Sasuke. But at him. Orochimaru was smirking at him, Uzumaki Naruto.

Naruto had only met Orochimaru once, but that one meeting was all it took to convince Naruto the man was a sick, perverted, and dangerous bastard. They met on a mission to assassinate a government official who had been taking bribes from drug lords to look the other way. Orochimaru was then that bastard's security chief.

Naruto would never forget that mission. It was the only time in their lives as assassins that they had ever come so close to dying. Orochimaru seemed to have guessed every move they'd make, and taken the appropriate steps of making that mission hell for them. It was nothing short of a miracle that they'd managed to kill the target and get out of the burning mansion alive. Neji was barely conscious by the time he was loaded bleeding by Shikamaru into the waiting getaway van where Ino waited anxiously in the driver's seat, while Naruto himself looked liked he been literally through hell and back. Naruto had never come so close to losing his control until that day.

Sasuke, on the other hand, was wounded as well, but there was a troubled look on his face. He and Naruto had been separated in that mad dash to get out of the mansion alive. When he met up with them in the van, the Uchiha was quieter than usual (Sasuke would always make insulting remarks about Naruto's ability after missions), and wouldn't speak a word of what happened during the moment they were separated, even when Sandaime himself commanded him to. Days later, as they were recuperating from their wounds, Naruto asked him about what happened. Sasuke just stared at him, then kissed him hard, and told him nothing.

It was hen they were about to leave the mansion that Naruto saw Orochimaru standing on the upstairs balcony, looking evil against the fiery backdrop of the burning mansion. He made no move to stop them from leaving and stared at them with a self-satisfied smirk. The smirk unnerved Naruto more than anything else did.

Naruto had never figured out who the hell Orochimaru was until much later after that disastrous mission, when Kakashi explained that Orochimaru had been once an assassin like them, the very best, in fact, but later betrayed the group in search for more power. When Naruto met Jiraiya a few months later, Naruto nearly choked on his ramen when Jiraiya casually mentioned that Orochimaru had been his teammate, and that once, they had been close friends and rivals. Like him and Sasuke, Jiraiya added with a meaningful look at Naruto.

Looking back, Naruto knew Jiraiya had been warning him about Sasuke. And sure enough, months after that conversation with Jiraiya, Naruto found himself chasing after Sasuke, who had decided to join Orochimaru.

That was why Naruto found it disconcerting that Orochimaru was smirking at him now, five years after he had left for Europe with Sasuke. Why the man smirking at him he didn't know, but he did what he would always do when faced with situations like this. He'd be damned if he would back off.

Naruto smirked back at Orochimaru. They stared at each other and smirked on.

"Naruto, who are you smirking at?" Sakura asked, frowning. "Why are you smirking at Orochimaru? Stop it. You're making my hair stand up."

"He smirked at me first," Naruto muttered as he broke contact with Orochimaru and turned to Sakura.

"He's really creepy looking. And he really does look like Michael Jackson." Ino shuddered.

"From what I've heard, he likes little boys, too," Kakashi said casually. He glanced at the podium, eyes narrowing as Sasuke finished his speech. Everyone except them stood up and applauded loudly.

Shikamaru winced at the noise. "Geez. How loud. You'd think he just made a speech about world peace." He ignored the glare Ino sent him.

Naruto stood up. He'd had enough. "I think I'm going home. It's late, and I still have work tomorrow." And what a fucked-up night this was, he thought. His eyes met Neji's, who nodded and stood up as well. Shikamaru and Kakashi also rose from their seats, their apathetic movement belied by the serious expression in their eyes. Naruto wondered if Sasuke was watching them now.

The girls looked at each other. With a sigh, Sakura stood up, but not before casting a glance at Sasuke who sat at the center of the raised table, looking like a marble statue, so still and cold his face was.

Lee put an arm around his wife's shoulders. She smiled at Lee, and then she said simply, "Let's go."

As they collected their coats and made their way out, they didn't see two pairs of eyes following them, each for their own purposes and reasons.

-------

Their night was far from over, Naruto knew. There was still much to talk about. They found themselves sitting in a booth near the window in a 24-hour barbeque restaurant, ostensibly having coffee they got from the condiments bar. Luckily, they were the only customers the restaurant had so there were few chances they would be overheard.

It was Ino who broke the tense silence. "So, why did you think Sasuke-kun invited us? He didn't even bother to greet us, the nerve!"

"I don't think it was his idea to invite us," Neji said, putting his cup of black coffee carefully on the table. "And if it was, I don't think it was us he wanted to see or it wasn't him who wanted to see us."

Naruto found himself staring at his decaf. "Orochimaru," Naruto said quietly.

"Possibly." Kakashi looked up from his book. "Sasuke might have been just the lure."

"But why? We're not a threat to him anymore. We aren't in that line of business," Sakura said.

Kakashi shrugged. "I was hoping that little party might tell us something, but it turned out to be a mere PR exercise." Then he turned to Naruto. "Naruto might have an idea, though."

All eyes fell on Naruto. Naruto glared at Kakashi. "You should be the one who'd have an idea. What have you been doing all these years? And how the hell did Sasuke manage to give you an invitation? Where the hell did he send it?"

"To my apartment, of course. I never changed my address." Kakashi smiled briefly at them, and then turned serious. He looked at Shikamaru. "You know about the mergers, I suppose. And how is Asuma doing?"

Shikamaru grunted. "I know about the mergers. Most of them weapons research firms that seemed to be on the verge of bankruptcy or lacking in funds. Asuma's getting married to some girl–"

"Kurenai," Ino supplied, shooting an annoyed look at Shikamaru. "Really, Shikamaru. How can you forget something like that? You're the best man in the wedding, not to mention the fact that you're the wedding singer."

Shikamaru scowled at Ino, and then turned to Kakashi. "Asuma also said he'd send up what you wanted in a week or so. He's still looking for it."

"Ah. Good. So Naruto, what have you found out so far?" Kakashi asked again.

"What makes you think I know something about this?" Naruto demanded belligerently. As far as Naruto knew, no one other than Tsunade knew that he was going to interview Sasuke.

"Because you're going to interview Sasuke, aren't you?" Kakashi said bluntly. "And if I know you, you'd have done some research by now."

"What?" Sakura exclaimed, glaring at Naruto. "You're going to interview Sasuke? And you didn't tell us?"

Glaring daggers at Kakashi, Naruto replied, "I'm not sure I'm going to now. The bastard's not worth the trouble." He could feel Neji's eyes boring into him, but he didn't dare look at the Hyuuga. "How did you know–" He stopped when realization dawned on him. "Tsunade. The old hag told you." He narrowed his eyes. "I'm going to kill her."

Kakashi grinned through his mask. "Actually, she didn't. Someone else did, but I'm not telling whom."

"Who–" Oh shit. Haku and Zabuza. He'd told them. Naruto had forgotten about that. He'd also forgotten Kakashi was on good terms with Zabuza. Damn.

"So, what did you find out?" Kakashi asked again.

Naruto sighed. "The same things as Shikamaru did." He didn't bother to ask how Shikamaru got the information. "Nothing much yet, but I haven't dug deep enough yet. There are some suggestions that Hebi's involved in some kind of illegal arms trade. I still need Tsunade's permission to pursue the whole thing." He paused for a moment, looking around nervously. "Are you sure we could talk about this here?"

"Ch'. Don't worry about it," Shikamaru said. He glanced over Naruto's shoulder. "Oi, Chouji, come over here. How troublesome. "

To Naruto's astonishment, a portly man wearing a grease-spotted apron stepped out of the kitchen, glaring at Shikamaru. "Chouji? Is that you?"

Akimichi Chouji squinted his eyes, brushing aside the smoke coming from the kitchen. "Oi, Naruto. How are things?" He glanced at Shikamaru. "I'm cooking, you know."

"Cooking? Or are you eating?" Ino teased. She faced the bewildered Naruto. "Chouji owns this place. He regularly sweeps this place for bugs, so don't worry. We're safe here."

Naruto still eyed Chouji with shock. Chouji seemed to have grown bigger in the few years they hadn't seen each other. "You own this place? I didn't know that!"

"That's because you don't come here," Ino said. "You're always at that ramen place, Ichiraku's."

"I should go back to my grill. Nice to see you guys again." Chouji eyed Shikamaru and Ino. "I'm the caterer at the wedding, okay?"

Shikamaru grunted, while Ino spluttered an outraged "Chouji!" as the fat man made his way back into the kitchen. She glared at Naruto, who was trying hard not to laugh. "One word, Uzumaki, and you die."

"How appropriate for Chouji! I'm sure he's a very good cook," Lee remarked. "Now," he began in a no-nonsense voice, "why are we discussing all of these troubling things? Are we in any danger?" He looked straight at Kakashi.

"I don't know," he admitted. "But it wouldn't hurt if we're just a tiny bit cautious. Especially you, Naruto." Naruto narrowed his eyes. "Orochimaru was observing you all night, and he's always been interested in you, even before he got interested in Sasuke, so watch your back."

Naruto said nothing. He glanced at Hinata, who remained quiet throughout the conversation. Her pale eyes were wide with worry. He reached out across the table and took her hand, squeezing gently. He smiled comfortingly at her. "Don't worry, Hinata. Everything's going to be fine." Among them, Hinata was the only one who wasn't part of the group, but everyone trusted her, so it didn't matter. Besides, she was Neji's cousin, after all.

Hinata blushed at the contact, but smiled back. "Okay. But be careful, Naruto."

"All right," Kakashi stood up and yawned. "Now that's been discussed, we should all go home. I'll see you around."

Naruto snorted, but got up as well. "Yeah, right." Naruto gave Sakura an impudent grin. "See you around, Sakura."

"You're not off the hook yet, Naruto," she said ominously.

After saying farewell to Chouji, they went on their separate ways. Naruto tried to hide a grin as he watched Ino and Shikamaru ostensibly go off in different directions; he was sure those two were going to end up in the same place.

That left him, Neji and Hinata. Neji would be taking Hinata home, of course. Naruto would just call a taxi. His car was still in the garage under maintenance.

"Naruto," Neji began in a tight voice. Naruto inwardly winced. He knew Neji was upset about Naruto not telling him about interviewing Sasuke. The Hyuuga was probably making conjunctions with what happened at the bathroom with his interview with Sasuke, most of them probably right.

"Look, Neji, I'll tell you everything you want tomorrow, I promise," he said in his most sincere voice. It was already late into the night, and he didn't have enough strength to deal with Neji now. Encountering Sasuke and the discussion they had a while ago had sapped what strength he had. Yes, he did have incredible stamina, but he was human too.

Neji looked like he was about to say something, but changed his mind. He nodded curtly. "You still have to do my laundry, remember."

"Neji! I thought you were my friend!"

"I thought I was yours too," Neji said quietly.

Ouch. Suitably chastened, Naruto shut up and waved as Neji and Hinata drove away. When the two were just a small speck in the distance, he sighed and went about hailing a taxi. He just managed to piss off his closest friend, and earlier, his ex-lover harassed him. Not only that, a Michael Jackson look-alike was interested in him. God, what a fucked up day this was.

-------

Naruto was dead-tired when he finally came home. He pinched the bridge of his nose in an effort to control his growing headache. He needed an aspirin–no, several ones–and a shower–a long cold one. Then he was going straight to bed.

As he stepped off the elevator and headed for his apartment, his mind went back to what Neji said about the invitations. Could Sasuke have invited the others because he knew Naruto wouldn't have come without them? It was a possibility, a disturbing one at that.

His mind also went back to what happened at the bathroom. Naruto felt himself blushing again. God, he acted like some sex-starved idiot back then. He should have known better than to go off the bathroom alone. He was sure Sasuke had some evil, lecherous plans for him back then. Thank the gods for Neji. Naruto made a mental note to apologize to Neji, even grovel one, if need be. He owned the guy too much for him to treat him as crassly as he did by not telling him about the interview with Sasuke.

What the hell did Sasuke want with him? Hell, the guy dumped him, even tried to kill him. Damn, he should have read the warnings in that ice-hot 'little' package called Uchiha Sasuke. That would have saved him a lot of trouble.

Ah, you're mad, Uzumaki Naruto. He was right. It would never be simply business between the two of us, Sasuke, Naruto thought.

As Naruto neared his door, he fumbled in his pockets for his keys, and then froze, his instincts afire. His eyes swept across the hallway, body tensing like a coil ready to spring.

He opened his door carefully, and then cautiously entered his apartment, still trying to sense whose presence he felt. When he finally recognize who it was, he almost angrily flicked open the light switch and found himself almost face to face with the person he most did NOT expect to see in his apartment. "What the FUCK are you doing here? How the fuck did you get in?"

The young woman tossed back her long blonde hair and smiled at Naruto, blue eyes wide with innocence that looked so real Naruto wanted to puke with disgust. "Is that any way to greet your twin sister, Naruto? We haven't seen each other for such a long time."

Naruto grimaced. He was wrong in his past assessment. His day wasn't the only thing fucked up; his life was fucked up too.

T.B.C.

Author's notes: Mwahahahaha! I hope you like this chapter. Not much smut, sorry, but there will be some next chapter, if I'm in the mood for it. Poor Naruto. His troubles are just starting! Why was Orochimaru smirking at him? Whooo! Plot is moving, finally! I'm sorry if I'm not too descriptive. Would you like me to be, or is this style just fine?

Writing the article: Naruto wasn't the one assigned to write the article because it wasn't his beat. Remember, he only 'agreed' to write about Sasuke (even when it was out of his beat and he was 'hostile' to Sasuke) was because Tsunade practically begged him to.

Orochimaru's plans: Let's say the guys are getting the right idea, but are looking at the wrong direction. XD

The twin sister: Ahahaha. That would be Naruto's Sexy no Jutsu version. XD I made her into a real person. XD I'm gong to have fun with her. I didn't want the Sexy no Jutsu to be just a disguise for Naruto. I love the technique too much for that! Promise, I won't mess her up or turn her to a Mary Sue. What do you think of her? Do tell.

Sasuke's speech: Were you looking for something important in Sasuke's speech? Well, there wasn't much, really, and as Naruto deduced, Sasuke invited the others because he knew Naruto would be reluctant to go without some company. And for more…business reasons…:wink:

Conversations: The following are some lines of conversation that may appear in the future chapters. I wonder if anyone can guess who will be or who are speaking the lines:

Person 1: "I've always thought it would be Rock Lee that would turn out to be gay. I was wrong, though."

Person 2:nods: "I had the same thought. It's the spandex, I tell you."

P1: Kid, this is the sad truth: When you're in the high school paper, you're not journalists. You're advertisers.

P1: Why do you know my name? Why do you know where I live? Why do you know what I've been doing? You're a STALKER, aren't you?

P2: Actually…I'm a journalist.

Next chapter: What does Naruto's twin want? The Kyuubi makes his appearance! Naruto goes off to do some research on Hebi Corporation and falls into Sasuke's lap. Naruto, watch out! Possible lemon or lime (if I feel up to it!) XD Iruka also comes to visit! And Orochimaru makes a very interesting…proposal.