Well, here we are at last…
Enjoy thefinal chapter!
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FINALLY, we get to the epic fight. It is way cooler than all the fights in the other five put together. Along the way they fight on this building, which breaks. Obi-Wan jumps to safety on an unsuspecting droid.
Obi-Wan: Whew! Hope he died!
Anakin: (jumps on other droid) Not till Return of the Jedi, fool!
Obi-Wan jumps to higher ground with his JEDI POWERS.
Obi-Wan: Ha!
Anakin: 'Anything you can do, I can do better…'
Obi-Wan: No! Don't!
Anakin does this really impressive cartwheel jump with his SITH POWERS. But on the way, Obi-Wan chops off his legs and an arm.
Obi-Wan: You were supposed to destroy the Sith, not join them!
Anakin: I think I missed that memo…But I HATE YOU! AAAAARRGH!
He catches fire.
Obi-Wan: Well, screw that.
He leaves Anakin suffering, taking his lightsaber. While this has been going on, Yoda has been fighting the Emperor.
INT. CORUSANT
Yoda: Going down, you are!
Emperor: You wish!
They fight and end up in the Senate Room, where the Emperor throws Senate boxes at Yoda.
Yoda: Hmm. Stronger than I thought, you are.
Emperor: MOO HA HA!
Eventually, Yoda falls. He runs away into a secret tunnel thing. The audience realizes that without a robe, Yoda looks a lot like his action figure.
Emperor's Friend: Did you find Yoda's body?
Clone: Well, he fell.
Emperor: When does anyone die from falling in a movie?
Clone: Ah.
INT. CRUISER
Yoda drops next to Senator Alderan.
Yoda: Lost I did. Time to go, it is.
S. Alderan: Right-O!
They go to Secret Jedi HQ.
INT. MUSTAFAR
The Emperor finds Anakin, who is obviously still alive, as he's moving around.
Emperor: He's alive!
Clone: No shit Sherlock!
Emperor: Quick! To the handy-dandy MACHINE ROOM!
INT. PADME'S SHIP
Obi-Wan enters with about two burns.
C-3P0: I'm useless and she turned her pregnancy on!
Obi-Wan: To the Secret Jedi HQ!
INT. SECRET JEDI HQ
Padme is finally giving birth.
Droid: Oomba Boomba!
Obi-Wan: Look! A boy!
Padme: OW, DAMN IT! I mean, Luke!
Droid: Oomba Goomba!
Obi-Wan: Look! A girl!
Padme: Leia…
Obi-Wan: NO! DON'T DIE!
Padme: There is still…
Obi-Wan: There is still what? Sausage?
Audience: No! There is still hope!
LOTR Fans: SQUEE!
INT. MACHINE ROOM
Anakin puts on his Darth Vader suit.
Anakin: Does this make me look fat?
Emperor:…
Anakin: Where's Padme?
Emperor: You killed her, dumbass.
Anakin: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! SHHIIIIIIIIIIT!
INT. JEDI HQ
Obi-Wan: Padme's dead.
Yoda: Separated the twins must be.
S. Alderan: I want the girl!
Obi-Wan: I want the b-
Yoda: To his family the boy can go. The girl's grandparents were cut out of the movie.
Obi-Wan: Fine. (scowl) I'm going to watch over him though!
Yoda: Got Cingular Wireless, Qui-Gon has.
Obi-Wan: What?
Yoda: Talk to him toll-free you can.
Obi-Wan: Sweet!
INT. PADME'S FUNERAL
Obi-Wan: Damn! I forgot to turn off her pregnancy!
We see Padme's family but don't recognize them because they were cut from Episode 2.
INT. EVIL SHIP
Darth Vader: I hate you, you know.
Emperor: Embrace your anger!
Anakin: (scowls) (folds arms)
INT. ALDERAN
S. Alderan: Lookie here! A baby!
His wife: Gee whilikers!
INT. TATOOINE
Obi-Wan: Anyone want a baby? No one? Oh well, looks like-
Some Lars: I do!
Obi-Wan: Damn.
Commence heroic pose.
END
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Well, there you go! Hope you enjoyed it! I know I did!
I can't respond to this chapter's reviews, but please tell me what you think!
And be on the lookout for Episode IV: A New Whiner, coming soon to