Summary: Robin expresses his true feelings for Raven...through song.
Disclaimer: I do not own Teen Titans or the song used in this songfic.Also, this isn't to be taken seriously. It's just merely plain, silly fun. And it's a little something to read while you wait for ESNH. Enjoy.
One More Minute
It was about seven thirty in the morning, and Robin walked through the halls of Titans Tower with a disgruntled look on his face. He was heading straight for Raven's room, and he wasn't letting anyone stop him. When he made it there, he knocked on her door. There was no answer. He knocked again. There was still no answer. Finally, he lost his temper.
"Open up, Raven!" he yelled. "I know you're in there!"
With that said and done, the door to Raven's room was slid open just a few inches, half of her face showing as well. Despite her blank look, her face looked a bit flushed.
"What?" she said flatly.
"We need to talk," said Robin.
"We can talk later," she said as the door began to close. Robin stuck his hand in the door and pulled it open furiously.
"We can talk now," he said as he let himself in. The door closed behind him, and he faced Raven as he stood by her vanity. Raven just rolled her eyes.
"Okay," she said. "What do you want to talk about?"
"About us," said Robin. "I know we've been a steady couple for a few months, but I don't think our relationship is working out."
"How's that?" she asked with a raised eyebrow.
"For one," said Robin as he pulled up a chair. "Our first date consisted of going to the Dark Rose Café and listening to your loser friends whine and complain about things that were out of their control. Did I mention that guy who showed us that stupid scrap-book of black and white photos with him stabbing a dove and his sister licking a coloring book? I don't care what people say, that was just weird!"
"For two," he continued. "There's more interaction between a rock and the dirt than there is between us. Every time I hug you, it's like hugging a tree stump. Every time I try to kiss you, you slither away. And every time I try to do something with you, like go to the movies, you retreat to your room."
"But most of all," he said. "And I mean most of all, I think you're not being faithful to me."
Now Raven was getting annoyed. "Look," she finally said. "If you want to break up with me, all you have to do is say so."
"Oh, I want to break up with you alright," he said. "But first, I need to get a little something off my chest..."
Robin then pulled out a guitar seemingly out of nowhere, and began to play. The room seemed to shift into a stage, and three guys dressed in white tuxedos were standing behind Robin and snapping their fingers. The music being played reminded Raven of an old 50's slow dance song. And finally, Robin began to sing...
Aahh, ahahaa, ahahaa, ahahaa...
Well, I heard that you're leavin', leavin'
Gonna leave me far behind, so far behind
'Cause you found a brand new lover
You decided I'm not your kind, aahh
So I pulled, I pulled, your name out, name out, of my rolodex, ooh
And I tore all your pictures in two
And I burned down the malt shop where we used to go
Just because it reminds me of you, doobidy doobity doo
That's right, that's right, you ain't gonna see me cryin'
I'm glad, I'm glad, that you found somebody new
'Cause I'd rather spend eternity eating shards of broken glass
Than spend one more minute with you
I guess I might seem kinda bitter
You got me feeling down in the dumps
'Cause I'm stranded all alone in the gas station of love
And I have to use the self-service pumps
Oh, so honey, let me help you with that suitcase
You ain't, you ain't, gonna break my heart in two
'Cause I'd rather get a hundred thousand paper cuts on my face
Than spend one more minute with you
I'd rather rip out my intestines with a fork
Than watch you go out with other men
I'd rather slam my fingers in a door, yeah
Again and again and again and again and again
Oh, can't you see what I'm tryin' to say, darlin'...
I'd rather have my blood sucked out by leeches, leeches
Shove an ice-pick under a toenail or two
I'd rather clean all the bathrooms in grand central station with my tongue
Than spend one more minute with you
Yes, I'd rather jump naked on a huge pile of thumbtacks
Or stick my nostrils together with crazy glue
I'd rather dive into a swimming pool filled with double-edged razor blades
Than spend one more minute with you
I'd rather rip my heart out my ribcage with my bare hands
And then throw it on the floor and stomp on it 'til I die...
Than spend one more minute...with you...
The stage reverted back into Raven's room, the guys in the suits disappeared, and Robin's guitar was gone.
"Well," Raven said after a brief pause. "Guess you can't be more straight forward than that...fine. We're not a couple anymore. Now, we're just friends. Happy now?"
"Immensely," said Robin.
"Oh, Robin," Starfire's voice called from outside the door. "I do not mean to interrupt, but we are going to be late if we do not hurry."
"Coming, Star!" said Robin happily. He then looked at Raven and gave a cocky smile. "Now if you'll excuse me, Starfire and I have a busy day ahead of us. First we're going out to breakfast, then I'm taking her to the zoo, go for a ride around the country side, see a movie, go to the museum, then to the carnival, and not to mention dinner at the Golden Savanna. So much to do, so little time."
"Golden Savanna?" said Raven with an undertone of confusion. "Isn't that the most expensive restaurant in Jump City?"
"Sure, it's expensive." said Robin. "But you want to know something? All the money in the world will never even come close to what Starfire is worth."
With that said, Robin exited the room and threw himself into a loving embrace into Starfire's awaiting arms. The two lovers then broke the embrace and headed towards the garage where the R-Cycle was parked, holding hands the whole time. Once they were gone, Raven shut the door, locked it, and let out a sigh of relief.
"Okay," she said as she looked at the closet. "You can come out now."
Her closet opened up, and a slightly flustered Cyborg emerged from Raven's assortment of leotards and cloaks.
"Bout time," said Cyborg as he brushed himself off. "I thought he'd never leave."
"Yeah," said Raven. She then looked back at Cyborg as she discarded her cloak, revealing that she was wearing nothing save for her undergarments.
"So," she said with a sly smile. "Where were we?"
Raven and Cyborg then embraced each other, kissing and moving towards the bed as they did so. Cyborg fell back on the bed, and Raven inserted her tongue into his mouth.
"This is going to be a long day," Raven thought. "I hope Robin and Starfire have as much fun as I will."
The End
What was the inspiration behind this fic? Not much, truth be told. I was just listening to my little brother's Weird Al CDs, and it was his 'One More Minute' song that gave me the idea. Fact of the matter is, I'm so sick of the Robin/Raven fluff and the relentless Starfire bashing that's been happening lately that I could puke my guts out. This fic is nothing more than my feelings towards the Robin/Raven pairing.
I usually don't except flames, but you can flame this one all you want. And if anyone ever wants this removed, all you have to do is ask me nicely. Don't report me. And don't scream at me about it, either.
Peace.