Chapter 32
It was a quiet ride for Don and Terry. Don was focused on getting to the hospital, not only for Terry's sake but Charlie and Amita's too. Terry was silent because while her and Don needed to talk about their relationship, she sensed that now was not the time, that and her head was killing her. The hospital came into view and Terry felt the car accelerate. Now that the hospital was in sight, it seemed Don couldn't wait any longer to get there. After waiting very impatiently at a light, Don swerved into the hospital parking lot, climbed out, ran around the side of the car, and opened the door all before Terry had barely gotten her seat belt off. Terry seemed anxious, not knowing how to proceed. "Do I take his hand?"," Do we walk side by side?", "Is he going to put his arm around my shoulders?", were all thoughts entertained in Terry's mind. His words and her kiss had made the casual things she took for granted, suddenly awkward. Terry's questions were answered when Don put an arm around Terry's lower back and guided her to the entrance of the Emergency Room. As Terry and Don walked through the double doors, both scanned for Charlie. On first scan they couldn't find him. It wasn't until Terry stopped looking for his face, and started for his hair did she find him: he was huddled in a corner with his head in his hands apparently very distraught. Don guided Terry over to the chairs next to Charlie. She sat down as Don went to tell the triage nurse that Terry needed to be seen soon.
"Charlie?" Terry spoke softly tapping him on the shoulder. It was a moment before he answered, and looked up (but not before he wiping away tears Terry swore were shining on his cheeks only moments before)
"Hi Terry. How's your head?" Charlie asked turning to face Terry. His face had worry lines etched in them and fear was the only thing Terry could see in his eyes.
"It's been better" She answered touching it tentatively. It was sore and the blood from the cut had congealed on her hair but it wasn't a gun shot wound "How's Amita?" Terry asked timidly
"I don't know. She went into v-fib on the way here, they shocked her three times and she came back. They gave her blood and they paged a surgeon. I spoke a nurse and she told me she would tell me when they take her up to surgery. That was fifteen minutes ago…" Charlie trailed off, and looked back at the ground. Terry suddenly understood what Charlie was nervous and scared about. She knew that he knew it doesn't take that long to get her up to surgery. If she was going up to surgery, he should have been notified. If she wasn't going up to surgery, that only meant one thing….
"I'm so sorry Charlie. I feel like all of this is my fault" Terry admitted softly. If I had only told Don the truth, if I only took her to the cafeteria, if I had only realized there was a situation sooner, if I had only negotiated harder…
"It wasn't your fault" Charlie replied with a force she didn't expect "It was Joe's fault and anyone else that was with him" Terry was about to reply (she oddly felt the need to defend herself) when Marlene appeared at the front of chairs
"Dr. Eppes there you are" She called walking towards Charlie. Charlie and Terry both looked at the approaching woman. Don who had been trying to pin someone down to give Terry the sutures she needed, turned and jogged towards his brother at the sound Charlie being called to. He knew this was news about Amita and he needed to be there if it was bad news.
"I'm sorry. I thought you told me to wait here, nurse…" Charlie suddenly realized he never got her name
"Marlene Landis. You can just call me Marlene" She said smiling "And yes I did tell you to wait here, I must have missed you the first time I went by"
"How is she?" Charlie asked his voice shaking. He was afraid to ask because he was terrified of the possible answers
"She's up in surgery, which is why I came to find you" Charlie let go of a breath, closed his eyes, and leaned against the chair. Terry however noticed there was more she wanted to say and nudged him to open his eyes and sit up again
"I'm sorry, you weren't finished?" Charlie asked
"Well, I wanted to know your relationshipwith Dr. Ramanujan"
"She's my girlfriend" Charlie saidsmiling slightly(though it didn't quite reach his eyes), for he had been waiting a long time to be able to say that
"How long have you known her for?" Marlene asked. She was curious why he had been named next of kin. Marlene had noticed in her years as an ER nurse that many people who don't have family close, tend to ask a good friend because they were more dependable then a girl or boyfriend. She's seen instances where the next of kin listed was the patient's partner that they had broken up with recently and didn't get a chance to change, and now their partner was saddled with making life or death decisions for someone they were most likely never going to see again
"Three and a half, four years. Why?" Charlie just wanted to go up to the surgery waiting room and she was keeping him down here. Logically he could leave, but that was rude and on a second thoughtit didn't matter how quickly he got up to the waiting room, it wouldn't make the surgery end sooner nor guarantee her safety
"Well she has you listed as her next of kin" Marlene said bluntly. Don and Terry exchanged looks. Charlie looked surprised
"She-she listed me as her next of kin?" Charlie hesitatingly asked. He was surprised for a moment but then remembered what exactly that entailed: making possible life or death decisions
"You're surprised?" Marlene questioned
"Well I knew-" Terry noted this (Charlie was already talking in past tense) "-her for three and a half, four years. We only started dating last night" Charlie finished softly. Had it really only been just last night?
"Oh…um she's had you listed as her next of kin for long time" Marlene answered slowly. How close were they? Its unusual enough that partners are listed as next of kin, but they've only been going out for less then twenty-four hours and Charlie didn't even know he was listed
"How long? Can you tell?" Charlie asked. He wasn't angry but how could he be listed as next of kin and Amita not even tell him?
"Um about two years" Marlene answered sheepishly. Everyone's (well Terry and Charlie's, Don just sat there) jaw just dropped. Two years? Charlie thought she had that much faith that I'd still be close to her NOW, two years ago when she decided me to be her next of kin
"Right, well it doesn't surprise me" Don said after a moment of silence. As everyone turned to look at him he got the feeling he had said something wrong "It doesn't." Don repeated justifying himself "She knew that you and her would be safe, their both professors of mathematics at college. Not exactly the most high risk of jobs" As Charlie looked down and Terry's stare turned from one of curiosity to one of 'are you stupid?' and 'apologize, idiot'. He then looked at Marlene, who held a gaze similar to Terry's, he suddenly grasped what he had done wrong. Despite his previous words of not having a dangerous job it was Amita, the math professor, on the brink of life and death after getting shot, not Don or Terry the FBI agents. "Oh buddy, I'm so sorry" Don reached out and squeezed one of Charlie's shoulders
"Its ok. You're right. Being a mathematics professor is a safe job. Amita wasn't hurt teaching a class" Charlie said a little unsteadily. She was the one that had the truly safe job. Yes, he was a mathematics professor teacher too, but he consulted for all the levels of security in the government, he knew there was a chance HE'D get hurt but never in a million years did he think Amita…
"You're right. She was hurt by some-" Terry muttered an obscenity under her breath, lost in the bustling sounds of the hospital "-who thought he'd try a get rich quick scheme, albeit an illegal one. I just can't believe Joe. Of all people" Now it was Terry's turn to be stared at "We grew up together. I realized who it was when he called me Ter, there are very few people that call me Ter"
"I'm sorry to interrupt-" Marlene interrupted. She had to get back to work and she wanted to walk Charlie to the waiting room. There was something familiar about him and she wanted to make sure he was ok "-but I need to get back and I promised Dr. Eppes that I'd get him to the surgical waiting room"
"It's Charlie" Charlie told her. He felt bad about telling her doctor in the trauma room but it was a reflex. As he stood, he turned to look at Don
"I'll-" Don started to say but Terry interrupted him
"We'll" Terry corrected
With a slight smile Don continued "-be up as soon as Terry's done with her sutures"
"I didn't know you were hurt" Marlene exclaimed
"Just a cut on the back of my head" Terry answered timidly while Marlene moved to look at the cut
"Come on" Marlene said pulling Terry from her seat "I'll flag a doctor to suture your head and then I'll take you upstairs" Marlene gathered the three people and took them to the treatment area. She instructed them all to stay put while she tried to find a doctor. The three sat in silence. Terry and Don needed to talk but they wanted to do it privately, and Charlie was so anxious to get up the waiting room, Don and Terry knew that he wouldn't be able to focus on a conversation on anything other then Amita no matter how hard he tried. After a few moments Marlene returned with a very timid looking young man. There was a whispered conversation between the man and Marlene, than Marlene walked towards them dragging the man behind her "I'm sorry, I could only grab a med student"
"It's ok. I'm Terry" Terry said holding out her hand for a handshake. The med student still looking timid, quickly shook her hand and still said nothing
"Again, I'm sorry. Jacobs, get ready for the sutures, I'll be back in a few minutes" He nodded, Marlene rolled her eyes, and lead Charlie away. They walked in silence as Marlene tried to wonder why she felt such an odd connection to Charlie. She felt this need to protect him and she didn't know why. He obviously was old enough to take care of himself. There was just something really familiar about him and she wanted to know what it is
"Um, Marlene, I don't want to seem rude but is there a reason why you're staring at me?" Charlie asked. Since they left Terry and Don, Marlene had been watching Charlie closely. They had stopped at the elevator banks, when it had finally driven him crazy enough to ask
"Oh sorry. I have this feeling that I've seen or met you before"
"Do you have any mathematicians in the family?" Charlie tried. That was the most possible answer. Someone had heard of him and it was passed on
"No. No one. Where do you teach?" Marlene tried
"Calsci"
"I went there for nursing classes, but you're too young to have been a teacher or a student for that matter…"
"You'd be surprised. What years did you attend?"
"Nineteen eighty seven- ninety one"
"I was a student" Charlie said smirking for the first time since the brief moment with Don involving his shoes
"No! Really? You look really young for your age" Marlene commented. This turn of conversation caught Charlie off guard for a moment
"How old do you think I am?"
"Well, taking in to effect that you're a professor with a doctorate, and you attend at least some of the years I did, you have to be at least in mid thirties but most likely a little older"
"I'm twenty nine" Charlie said bluntly waiting for her reaction which was, a jaw drop like he had expected
"What? How old were you when you started college? Twelve?"
"Thirteen actually" Charlie enjoyed her stunned expression. The conversation didn't go any further however because as the elevator stopped moving and the doors slid open, both Marlene and Charlie seemed to remember the gravity of what was happening. Marlene approached the nurse's desk to tell them that Amita's next of kin was in the waiting room, Charlie stood there in silence. The walk to the waiting room was one of the hardest walks Charlie's ever had to endure. Marlene noticed to sudden withdrawal of Charlie into himself and was concerned. Now that she thought back she does remember a little boy in one of her classes. She always thought that he was the teacher's kid. They arrived at the waiting room and Charlie froze
"What's wrong?" Marlene asked after walking back out of the waiting room, realizing that Charlie was not behind her
"I-I can't go in there. I don't want the last memories I have of Amita to be me sitting in a waiting room. I-I have to go and w-work on that um that program I created to um to trace the robbers" Charlie answered backing up
"Charlie!" Marlene called out as he started to back up faster. She jogged and caught him just as he turned to bolt "Look at me…you're last memories of Amita will have to involve Amita" She said bluntly. Charlie blushed at this slightly "Charlie, I've been a nurse for a good few years now, and I've seen enough people decide they can't sit and wait HERE. I understand that. If you go home to wait, that's fine too, I'm sure that doctors prefer you wait here…but don't do work. I know it's hard." Marlene said quickly as Charlie shifted, getting anxious again "I know people say try to stay busy, but I've noticed that the people who do stay busy regret for the rest of their lives they spent the last time with their loved ones, working." Seeing the fear flood Charlie's eyes she mentally kicked herself "Damn, this isn't coming out as I had hoped. I know you don't want to hear this but there are odds that Amita will die. You're a mathematician, I'm sure youunderstandodds. I'm saying I don't want you sitting here worrying yourself sick, but I also know that you don't want go and spend what might be the last of your time with a loved one working on a computer" Charlie sat there as the truth in her words sunk in. He felt guilty beyond words, beyond guilt (if there is indeed another emotion beyond guilt to explain how guilty he felt) about not being there more for his mother, his family in their time of need.
"I just don't know what to do. I can't sit here and wait then I'll go crazy. However, if I go home I'll work and I already made that mistake once, I can't waste the last moments of Amita's life like I wasted my mother's"
"Wait here. Terry and Don will be up here shortly. I'd wait here with you but-"
"-You don't trust the med student. It's fine" Charlie finished collapsing in a chair. He seemed startled for a moment. He didn't remember actually walking into the waiting room yet here he was. It was carpeted, had potted plants, a TV and magazines from five years ago. It was the hospital's way of saying 'Sorry you gotta be here, here's a pretty room to make it suck less'
"How about I come back up when my shift's done? An hour or so?"
"You don't have to do that" Charlie insisted. He didn't want to suck another person into what he was feeling now
"It's fine. I'll see you in an hour" Marlene gave Charlie's shoulder a squeeze. Marlene turned to leave, but Charlie called out
"Wait! How long is the surgery?"
"I have to double check but I think three or four hours"
"Thank you" Charlie said so quietly, Marlene wasnt sure he had actually said it. Marlene smiled a small sad smile and left. As the door closed behind Marlene, Charlie closed his eyes, and tried desperately to block out the statistics and gruesome images that rushed his mind. This is going to be the longest three or four hours of my life.
I don't know how long the surgery would actually take. It really depends on the damage the bullet did, but I'm trying not to go crazy over details like that. The story may be a chapter or two longer then I had said originally (I kinda get carried away when writing, these last two or three chapters have gone in a different direction then I had planned) but I'm sure after sticking around for thirty some odd chapters, one or two more then planned won't hurt