Author's Note: I have tallied the reviews! Once again, there was only one. Why don't you people like me? Was it something I wrote? Is it because I'm new? If you're reading this chapter, please review, even if it's a flame. If not, please tell somebody about me. I'm really sad. Comments for making my story better is allowed, please tell me if I spell something wrong, correct my grammer if you have to! I'm desperate for more reviews! (Author begins crying) Sniff. Okay, now that that's over, today's lesson is, Do Not Start Stupid Wars.
Disclaimer: I do not own Shark Tale, but I wish I did.
Lesson Three: Do Not Start Stupid Wars
'Ay, Don Lino here. Need I explain why I'm giving this lesson?
Today's Lesson: Stupid Wars are for Stupid People
All right. Lesson three of How to Become a Don. The only bad part is… I really have nothing to say. It'll be a short lesson. So, I'll start off with this:
Okay, so about, what was it, five hundred years ago? A guy named Don Kris started a war. It was because another don, Don Lee, was terrorizing everybody. I mean, he was really terrorizing people, eating everything in sight, eating everyone in sight, and what's worse, he even tried to eat his own daughter. This guy was nuts! I was glad to hear that his daughter got away. This period of time was the worst period of time in Reef City history. It became known as the 'Great Reef City Massacre,' because so many fishes died. I have to give Don Kris credit for keeping his cool through this. He didn't start the war 'till Don Lee decided to try and kill more fishes and start a fire on where he lived. Don Kris won the war, and everything went back to normal.
Don Kris had a reason to start a war, which is why I admire him. This guy was, how d'you young people say it, whiggedy whack?
(Lenny comes in)
Lenny: Pops, it's not whiggedy whack. Being called 'whack' is bad.
Lino: Sorry for the error. I'm jus' tryin' to keep it… real… ya' dig?
Lenny: Stop trying to act cool. You're embarrassing yourself.
Lino: Yeah well… you know what… Go to your room!
Lenny: You can't ground me, I'm a twenty two year old shark.
Lino: Ahhh, how time flies by.
Lenny: Riiiiiight, just stop tryin' to act cool. (Swims off)
Anyway, back to the lesson. As I was saying, Don Kris was great, unlike another guy who started a stupid war. Here's Don Jovi's story.
(The seventy's. Back to the golden age of Reef City.)
Don Jovi: (Sitting at his desk with disco music playing) everybody, get on the floor, and dance!
Guard shark: (Comes in the room) Sir, Don Jay is here. (Notices Don Jovi dancing) Sir…?
Don Jovi: Wha… oh… sorry. (Turns off music and stops dancing) Sorry 'bout that, what were you saying?
Guard shark: (Looking amused) Uhh… Don Jay is here.
Don Jovi: Oh. (Looks confused) Who the heck is he?
Guard shark: Oh c'mon, you know? Don Jay…
Don Jovi:…..
Guard shark: The west reef ruler…
Don Jovi: (Stares blankly)
Guard shark: He's been terrorizing this side of the reef for a year! Didn't you know that?
Don Jovi: Oh yeah! That Don Jay! From the East Reef dance party! The boss of East Reef!
Guard shark: (Groans) West reef, and there was no dance party. Besides, you're the East reef boss.
Don Jovi: Oh, right. Well… send him in, I guess. (When the guard shark is gone, Don Jovi turns the music back on.)
(Don Jay comes in)
Don Jay: Hey, I'm here for some business… (Stops, looks around, listens to music.) Hey! Is that the 'Shake your booty' song!
Don Jovi: (nonchalantly) Yeah.
Don Jay: (Singing along) everybody, get on the floor, c'mon take a chance!
Don Jovi: Shut up! It's my music!
Don Jay: (Ignores Jovi and begins to dance) Shake, shake, shake! Shake, shake, shake! Shake your booty! Shake your booty!
Don Jovi: (Outraged) how dare you shake your booty in my presence! I'm declaring a war against you!
Don Jay: (Stops singing and dancing) Why?
Don Jovi: For having the nerves to booty shake in my room!
Don Jay: so you mean it's not because I had an affair with your wife and killed your messenger?
Don Jovi: You did what?
Don Jay: Nothing.
The sad and stupid story of Don Jovi. He got his butt kicked. To make it more descriptive, he had the crap beaten out of him, and needed more crap. I was Don when that happened, and I remember telling Frankie that story. He laughed his head off. He was so young and full of life. (Sniffle.)
If you want to be a Don, then you cannot start stupid wars. If another Don steals your pastry, does that mean that you can freak out and go, 'Oh my gosh! He stole my pastry! That was my pastry! He stole it! He had the nerve to steal my pastry! I loved my pastry! He stole my pastry! I must have my pastry! I am determined to have my pastry! I cannot live without my pastry! My pastry belonged to me! My pastry will be mine, so I'll go and attack that guy! Your answer will come in a few seconds...
…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………Hold On …..…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………..NO! SO DON'T START STUPID WARS!
Okay?
Now, what have we learned today?
We learned that you should never freak out because another Don stole your jelly donut…. Oh yeah! And don't start stupid wars.
That's all for today's lesson. That's not all though. There are much more lessons than this, much more.
So, what d'you think? Was it good? Was it bad? Did it suck eggs? I'll only know if you review. As I said before, I am desperate. Very desperate. And my brain will blow up if more people don't review. C'mon, review please! You know I'd do the same for you… kind of… never mind that, just review please! But for now, it's time for…
Reviewer's Choice!
What should the next topic be?
You are a nice shark, not a mindless eating machine
Or
MY SON IS NOT FRUITY!
Well, that's it. R&R, pretty please!