Author's Note: I have counted the reviews! Today's topic will be about funerals! Wooh!
Insane Pirate Dragon: Umm… fikidoo!
Lesson Six: Clowns Do Not Go To Funerals
Hey, Don Lino here. Today we shall talk about funerals.
Today's Lesson: Happy Birthday!... Oh wait, this is a funeral.
For today's lesson, I'd like to start it off with a story.
STORY:
Shark families from all over came to Don Kacy's funeral. Everything was going okay, until…
(Door busts open and everyone stares at the shark coming through the door.)
Shark guy: (dressed in a rodeo clown suit) Well howdy doo! I'm here to turn ya'll frowns upside and down!
Another Shark Guy: Dude…
Shark Guy: (Pulls out cake) Happy birthday to you!
Another Shark Guy 2: Dude…
Shark Guy: (goes near coffin) Happy birthday to you!
Some Other Shark: Dude! Get away from that coff…
Shark Guy: Happy Birthday dear husband…(Opens up coffin)
Don Kacy's wife, Lucy: Husband?
Some other shark, Another shark guy, Another shark guy 2: Husband?
Everyone else: Husband?
Shark Guy: Yeah, husband. We're a secret married couple!
Lucy: But, you're a guy…
Shark Guy: (Waves around rainbow flag.)
Lucy: Hey! I saw that in his room before!
Shark Guy: Don't you know what a rainbow flag is?
Lucy: (realizes stuff)
Don Kacy's son, Danny: No! My father is respectable! (Swims out door crying)
Lucy: My hubby cheated on me! (Grabs the shark guy's cake and smashes it in her husband's face)
Everyone: Oooh.
Some other shark: Harsh.
Shark Guy: What the (censored) is goin' on here? What type of (censored) birthday party is this?
Lucy: Birthday party?
Another Shark Guy: This is a funeral. Besides, Kacy's birthday is five months from now.
Shark Guy: Oh.(Blushes) I'll just be leaving now. (begins to leave)
Another Shark Guy 2: Wait? Why are you wearing a rodeo clown suit?
Shark Guy: (Just Grins)
Everyone: (Eyes go wide)
Lucy: Oh (censored) no! (Pulls out chainsaw)
Shark Guy: Ahhh!
Lucy: (chases around shark guy with chain saw)
Some dude named Jerry: (whispers to Some Other Shark) This is the best funeral I've ever been to!
END STORY
What you heard was a true story. Ninety years ago, that incident happened at Don Kacy's funeral. His funeral wasn't the worst of some I know; I've heard of a funeral where some guys thought it was a bachelor party, and they got a cake…(shudder) I'm not even gonna go near that story.
If you want to be a Don, you have to know when all funerals take place, but more importantly, you have to know if it's a funeral. It'll be very embarrassing if you think that the occasion is a costume party, and dress up in your favorite spider-man costume. People will laugh at you, and you'll lose some of your status as a don.
Also, you need to know how to dress. You should put on a tie or something, or just where nothing at all.
Lenny: (blinks) You want us to go naked to a funeral?
Lino: I don't see you wearing anything.
Lenny: Ahhh! (Swims off)
Back to the lesson…
Anything formal is nice. You don't want to show up to a funeral looking like a gangster, nor do you want to show up looking like you've been to hell and back.
Lenny: (Has on the outfit he wore at the end of the movie, plus matrix shades) 'Sup ya'll. I come back from da land of da clothed!
Lino: Lenny! Get out!
Lenny: A'ight, A'ight. Chill pops, I'll be jettin' now. (Swims off)
Lino: And you're a bad gangster impersonator!
Anyway…
Don't go to a funeral thinking it's a birthday. You'll just be disappointed and depressed when you find that instead of seeing balloons, you'll be seeing a dead guy float to the top of the ocean.
Lenny: It's very depressing.
Lino: Yeah… wait!
Lenny: (Swims out door.)
Lino: (sighs and rubs his head)
Now, what have we learned today?
Lenny: We've learned that Don Kacy was a player, and that funerals are not fun.
Lino: Grrrr…
Lenny: It's true!
Well that's it for this lesson. See ya next time.
Well, what did you think? Sorry if this one wasn't very funny… but the next one will be. It's going to have extreme randomness… but, I'll need your help to make the extreme randomness! So, it's time for…
Reviewer's Choice!
In your review, type in three or four things that you'd like to see in the next chappie. For example: I want to see flowers, a music show, and I want to see (Insert name here) do (Insert thing here.) It doesn't have to be like that though. Just type in anything that you'd like to see.
So that's it! R&R please!