Disclaimer: I don't own ccs. Clamp does. I just own this story

Chapter. 8

Title: Part of me

Story

Soft tears of rain tapped against the windowpane, sparkling against the street light. A sense of peace and gaiety settled over her, making it almost impossible to suppress a dreamy and shy grin from her lips. Exhaling softly she leaned back against the rocking chair, staring up at the ceiling, giving up. Her mind was too full of thoughts. Thoughts of a certain blue-eyed man.

The blades of the fan casted faint shadows across the dimly lit room. Flames from the fireplace across from her flickered and danced impatiently. Proving brighter and more animated then the dim and silent gas lamps.

Tomoyo loved this room more than any in the whole mansion. It was styled in the classical British way. Of the era where women in beautiful flowing gowns and men in distinguished frock suits would sit in content pleasure beside the fireplace. Drinking tea, reading books and having pleasant talk. Tomoyo only had the chance to relish the feeling through books after books in Eriol's library, but still couldn't seem to get enough of it. Here she felt like one of them. Sitting and staring at herself in a beautiful white dress above the fireplace, she felt an exhilarating sense of excitement bubble up in her chest. Here she got the chance to be alone. Free to imagine what life must had been like with Eriol before she lost her memories. Eriol had told her so many beautiful stories and their adventures together that it was hard for her to believe her life wasn't a book itself. If it weren't for the pictures Eriol had shown her, she would never have been able to believe she had such a perfect life.

More than anything she wanted to get her memories back, but days after days she'd only manage to get frustrated when all she'd come up with were a certain pair of emerald eyes belonging to the cat Eriol told her she once had. Weeks had passed by since she had gained back her consciousness and came out of her comma. But besides falling for Eriol all over again, she was losing hope of ever remembering anything. She was afraid to disappoint Eriol and lose his hopes by not remembering anything. But Eriol would always flash her his understanding and amazingly patient smile and say "It doesn't matter, as long as you're safe and with me, we'll create new." But it mattered to Tomoyo. She was afraid she'd never get those wonderful memories back.

The room was filled with a silent eerie aura. But Tomoyo barely acknowledged it. With a sigh, she felt her smile wear off as a song started playing on the radio.

"Everybody's got something

They had to leave behind"

If only she could gain back more memories of her life before the accident. Eriol had showed her so many pictures of them together. From their childhood, to college graduation.

"There's no use looking back or wondering

How it could be now or might have been

All this I know but still I can't find ways to let you go"

She smiled looking up at a portrait of herself Eriol had painted. She was wearing an off-shouldered cream dress, a string of pearls resting against her collarbone. Eriol had done a wonderful job in painting the portrait almost life-like. Her eyes sparkled with mischief and love, as her smile curled up delicately at the corner. Her hair, pulled back and clasped in a clip of white fish-string, pearls and silk ribbon, tumbled down her back like a blanket of black silk. A few strands carefully pulled out of her clip grazed against her skin gracefully, making her eyes even softer and innocent. Gliding elegantly to the middle of her neck, they curved inwards contrasting with her pearl pale kin. A pair of round white earrings holding up a teardrop pearl seemed to finish up her attire.

Tomoyo watched in pride as her portrait smiled back at her. The background of the picture was painted darker, making her glow and outstand the scene. A single Jasmine flower nestled against her cheek, half cupped in her hands.

She looked down at the withered flower in her hand intensely. She now understood why she kept it. She wasn't surprised it wasn't ruined.

"There's no use looking back or wondering

How it could be now or might have been

All this I know but still I can't find ways to let you go"

She looked at the ring on her finger. The band was a delicate gold wine, complete with a few small leaves and flower buds sprouting out. The diamond was a grown Jasmine bud, in the middle of its bloom illuminating shades of light blue. Reminding her of him.

She gazed almost hypnotically at the diamond. It was the most beautiful thing she had ever seen. Or remember seeing anyway.

Suddenly she felt a pair of firm yet warm hands cover her eyes. She grinned and covered the hands with her own, pulling them down to her lips. She felt like the luckiest girl in the world.

"What are you up to?" He asked, leaning beside her and looking at the ring.

"I was having a quality time with myself before you disturbed us." She said, pointing to the portrait.

Eriol pouted slightly, making her heart swell up.

"And you yelled at me for spending time with her." He mocked, waving a hand at the portrait.

Tomoyo's eyes sparkled, this was one thing she didn't know, "I did?"

"There's no use looking back or wondering

Because love is a strange and funny thing"

Eriol smiled, "Unfortunately. The only difference was I was usually in your place and you in mine."

"Well it was unfair of you then," said Tomoyo

Eriol raised his eyebrows, "Unfair? How?"

"I never had a dream come true

Till the day that I found you"

"You had me there all the while and you still preferred to look at the portrait."

Eriol grinned, "Is it my fault its so beautiful?"

Tomoyo's eyes went wide as she stared at Eriol. Feeling a bubble of anger and irritation raise up her blood she stood up and stalked off.

"Wait!" Eriol called after her, grabbing her hand and pulling her back to him.

"What?" Tomoyo spat turning around to face him, "You'd want a some time alone with her wont you!"

"Well…not some." Eriol answered, amusement flashing his eyes.

Tomoyo felt her cheeks flush up in anger. The guy was impossible!

"A part of me

Will always be"

"Well I'd give it to you then!" She growled, trying to wretch her arms free from Eriol's grasp, "Everybody gets what they want-"

Eriol rolled his eyes to the ceiling, looked back at her with a smirk and pulled her to him in an effortless jerk. Wrapping his other arm around her waist and lips firmly over her's shocking Tomoyo to stand still. Regaining her composure, Tomoyo tried to pull away, fighting for her dear pride and keeping herself from making a fool out of herself. But Eriol seemed to have other plans. Tightening his arm around her, he trailed his lips down Tomoyo's throat and up just below her ear lobe. Feeling her shiver slightly he smirked and lowered back against the chair, pulling Tomoyo on his lap. He captured her lips in his again, relishing the sweet taste and enjoying her struggle as it started to subside. Yes! He had her!

Tightening his grip gently he raised his arms from Tomoyo's waist and ran it through her hair before resting it on her back, deepening the kiss. Tomoyo blushed silently as she felt him pressing her closer to him, as though he couldn't get enough. She felt his heart beating under her palm on his chest with her pace and blushed a shade darker as he nibbled her ear lobe gently. Stifling a blissfully flustered sigh as Eriol buried his face once again at the nape of her neck, she let her hand crawl up his shoulders, inhaling his intoxicating scent before catching herself. No way would she give in this time!

Eriol sensing her tense up smiled at her stubbornness. He trailed feather kisses up her neck to her lips again, caressing the luscious crimson flesh gently with his tongue. Feeling a slight tremble he bit into the flesh gently, catching Tomoyo off-guard. Taking advantage he inserted his tongue in her mouth, before she realized what she did. Tomoyo felt her mind swirl, losing grasp of reality as Eriol explored every inch of her mouth. Finally, just as Tomoyo lost her senses and wrap her arms around Eriol's shoulders, Eriol pulled away. A smug and playful smile curling his lips, making Tomoyo come crashing down to earth. Catching the triumphant and amused twinkle in his eyes she blushed furiously, feeling a wave of anger cloud her mind.

"Now this is what I really want." He whispered, tracing a hand down Tomoyo's slightly pink cheek, her anger evaporating instantly at his touch, before leaning over to kiss her again.

Tomoyo closed her eyes when

'WHACK'

Tomoyo jumped back and sweat-dropped. Staring at a dazed swirly-eyed Eriol. Looking up she got dotted eyed and sweat-dropped even more, seeing a smug and satisfied Nakuru holding a large frying pan.

"Now Eriol-sama I know you can't get your hands off of Tomoyo sama-" Tomoyo felt herself bursting into flames, "BUT YOU PROMISED ME A PICNIC!" Nakuru yelled directly in Eriol's ear, glowering at him with fire in her eyes.

Eriol, coming back to his senses winced, "I did?"

"YES!" Nakuru spat, "Last night!"

"When you accidentally on purpose choked on her food in front of her," Spaniel reminded him, settling himself comfortably on a still red-faced Tomoyo's shoulder.

Nakuru glared at him. Spaniel was un-fazed. Tomoyo fought the urge to hide her face behind her hands.

'Can't get your hands off of Tomoyo-sama' the words played across Tomoyo's mind.

"Hoe…!" She whimpered out suddenly, and then blinked.

Eriol, Nakuru and Spaniel were watching her blankly.

'Where did that come from?'

"Pardon?" Nakuru stammered, staring at Tomoyo.

Tomoyo felt her cheeks burn once again, "I-um…I don't know where that came from..?" Tomoyo murmured lamely. What else could she say?

Fortunately Eriol took that time to try and escape and Nakuru caught him.

"I hope you're going to get ready!" She growled, giving him the look that would have probably frozen molten lava into ice.

Tomoyo watched in silent apprehension as Nakuru barged up on Eriol, screeching and screaming so fast her words were barely audible.

Sighing she looked at a sheepish Eriol wearily. So much for a quiet time…

Sensing her discomfort, Spaniel nuzzled against her cheek, sending a rush of warmth in Tomoyo.

"Why don't we leave the master and his guardian to complete umm…planning while we take care of the picnic basket?"

Tomoyo felt a rush of relief flooded in her. She could always count Spaniel to get her out of…stuff.

Creeping quietly out of the living room, she sneaked into the kitchen, starting to prepare.

Light breeze swept across the field to the lake. Gentle ripples spread across the clear smooth surface, distorting her reflection. She sat quietly at the edge. Her knees tucked under her. A few lose strands swinging to and fro, teasing her skin with light kisses. She stared at the stream glassy eyed. Swirling her hand in circles, not really focusing on anything.

Every now and then a few gems of liquid would spill down her eyes. Trailing to the curve of her cheek until it reaches her chin, before letting gravity take hold. She didn't bother to wipe them away. Ignoring the freezing track on her skin, she continued to caress the almost jelly like surface with her fingertips. Only concentrating on getting rid of one thing. Pain.

Another tear fell. And she sighed in frustration slapping her arm against the pool in frustration. Getting her clothes wet. Why did Meilin have to be angry at her! What was she supposed to do then! She didn't KNOW what to do!

More tears started to build up. She wiped them away, irritated. Feeling as though her mind had just been run over by a bulldozer, she glared at her reflection.

Sakura had been sitting there for the past three hours. Trying to calm down and rationalize. But even being away form the hotel, Meilin's accusing glare continued to follow her.

She felt her heart crumple as she stared down at herself. Her eyes were tinted red and blotchy from crying. Her cheeks were flushed and warm. If Tomoyo had saw her then, she would have immediately-

…Immediately what?

She couldn't remember what Tomoyo would have done. Given her a makeover? Made her cry on her lap? What? Why couldn't she remember?

Suddenly Sakura felt the familiar suffocating guilt wrap around her. Her shoulders slumped down as she gulped down a few swigs of air.

Was Meilin right? Did she really not understand her best friend as well as Tomoyo did her? Was she forgetting her?

Sakura shook her head furiously. Of course not! Tomoyo had been her best friend ever since she was practically in diapers! How could she forget her! It was impossible!

...But then…why couldn't she remember how Tomoyo would have acted on seeing her like this..? And how come Tomoyo never answered all the advertisement and flyers across the town crying out to her? Was she mad?

A gust of strong breeze blew against her, tearing out a few cherry blossom petals from a tree nearby. Sakura watched as the petals twirled around in a small tornado before rising to the havens.

Up until now, Sakura never needed her friend more. She wanted Tomoyo to be there and take her in her arms. Squeeze her gently to herself and tell her everything's going to be all right, just like she used to.

Sakura closed her eyes, feeling a sense of warmth fill her.

Tomoyo had always been there for her. Even when she had lost her voice, she never blamed Sakura. But now that she thought about it, it seemed like Tomoyo had been there for Sakura all her life. There to cheer and tape Sakura in her adventures. There to listen to her rant about her brother. There when she had been head over heels in love with Yukito, then with Syaoran. Helping her with her homework, baking cookies and cakes as well as keeping Kero at her house whenever Sakura and Syaoran went out on dates. Having sleepover and arranging everything to just the way Sakura wanted. Most importantly, always there to talk. Never saying a word about herself. She always had costumes made ready for her on every adventure. As though she didn't spend any time for herself besides choir and school. And what had Sakura done in return? Aside form getting her voice back which was her fault in the first place.

Whenever Sakura got into a messy situation. Tomoyo would held out her hand and pull her out of it. Without so much as waiting for Sakura to utter a cry for help.

Sakura never realized how much she had started to depend on Tomoyo to offer a shoulder. Whenever she turned around, Tomoyo used to be there. Camera at hand smiling. Knowing well what to do. Like a part of Sakura herself.

Just like she wasn't. When Tomoyo had needed her the most. Sakura wasn't there. She had turned away as though it was all a nightmare.

Sakura pressed her lips tightly together and looked down at her key.

It wasn't her fault. Tomoyo would never blame her. Right? There was nothing she could do. She had been so surprised. What could she say? She didn't want to accept it was happening.

Sakura bit her lips hard, almost tasting the blood flowing out of her flesh. Taking in a deep shuddering breath as her eyes flooded up again she let out a hoarse heartbreaking wail, almost hearing her heart being ripped to shreds. Why did this had to happen to Tomoyo!

Suddenly she felt a firm hand rest on her shoulders. Turning around, she gasped loudly. Her eyes wide with disbelief.