It took my about another hour for it to hit me. When it did it hit me…like a ton of bricks. Though the bricks were metaphorical, I still got the after headache. My brain hurt. Suddenly a whole wave of thought washed over me, cold like the ocean's water in the winter time. I was feeling something. No, not love…more like confusion. I couldn't love after my mother. I figured that if I got close to anyone they would get hurt, just as she did. The three years spent with Vicious have made me loveless.

When my brain finally caught up to y body I was dragging myself blankly down the hall. I stared at the gold trimmed crimson carpet that my feet were scuffling so innocently. It was hard to concentrate on anything other than what had just happened. Many thoughts raced through my pounding head. Would Lin tell Shin, and if so…what would Shin say? Why did I care? WHATS GOING ON! I just wanted to rip my head from my shoulders and play football with the imaginary man down the hall. Go long. I was just wracking my brain. I needed some serious help. I knew the one person I could go to, but if I went, I would have to stay there. And If I stayed…I'd be killed. At that very moment, I didn't care at all. Next stop, Callisto.

…………

Now my feet were once again planted firmly on familiar ground. Callisto was still as cold as hell…Or hell frozen over, I suppose. With ease I found my way to the Blue Crow Bar. I knew Gren would be there, it was that time of night. I stared at the door, wondering what would be the consequences. What in my future would coming here alter?

I sighed and yanked back the door. The annoying creak-clink-clunk of the door sounded and once again many guns were turned on me. I grinned wildly and sniffed, widened my eyes and threw out my arms. "Man! That never gets old!" I cried. All attention was turned back to Gren who was playing that same sad song. The song named after the woman that got between a bond between two brother-like men. I sighed and walked over, sitting in a chair at the closest table to the stage I could get. So many of the men were ogling Gren. I laughed sort of and smiled to Gren, whom wouldn't look at me. Suddenly the smile dropped from my lips. I knew that he was upset about my leaving.

As soon as he got off stage I ran to him and hugged him. Grin stiffened and looked at me, before relaxing slightly. I sight and set my forehead against his shoulder. "I'm so sorry Gren. I didn't want to leave. I had to, you have to understand. Because of my duty, my obligation. If I stayed they would have killed me, you have to under stand that." I pleaded with him. He looked to me through blue eyes filled with sadness.

"Then why did you come back?" He asked, kind of coldly. I sighed some.

"I need advice." I said. He looked away from me then back again.

"Let's not talk here." He said. His smile returned and a small fleck of happiness showed in his eyes. His beautiful, beautiful, blue lake eyes. With that, we were off once again to his apartment. I sat next to him on the couch and leaned my head on his shoulder. "What is it that's bothering you?" He asked. I sighed.

"Lin." I said simply.

"What had he done to you!" He asked, showing a bit of anger. I winced slightly only to relax moments later.

"Nothing bad, as you may think. Its just, I believe he has feeling for me. The only thing is…I don't love him back. I can't love. I have no love left in me." I explained. "Not since my mother." Gren laughed slightly so I looked at him funnily for a second. Why is he laughing?

" So young." He said. "You do have love in you, and you do love him, I'm sure. Though you may not know it now, in time you will learn and grow with him, you will love him. Its not that you don't have love, its that you are afraid to show it. He's not going to hurt you, nor will you him." He said. I stared at him in disbelief. That was possibly one of the most wise and intelligent things that anyone had ever said to me. I looked into Gren's aged face. A face weathered by time, by hurt, by joy. He wasn't old, but he had seen many things that one mortal being should never have to see.

I wasn't quite sure what he meant, but I thanked him anyway.

"I just want you to know that I can't stay much longer. I'd love to stay forever, if you'd let me…Oh how I'd love that. However, right now, I don't have a choice." I said and closed my eyes, taking in a big breath. Just then my radio crackled at me, the signal that someone was trying to contact me. I picked up the radio and turned it off. "Screw it." I said quietly and put it down. Gren looked at me oddly for a moment. "It was a…Bill collector?" I said and smiled. He laughed at me. I stayed another hour with him, laughing and talking, sharing and telling. I left reluctantly and headed for my pod.

Once I reached HQ, I was greeted by silence. There was no one there. Someone obviously had tried to contact me about some big mission that I probably shouldn't have missed. Just as I went to turn and walk to my room, pod came flying in. About half the people that left returned. Many of the good men were wounded and bleeding badly and suddenly it hit me to go and find Lin. I searched forever but couldn't find him. Right in the middle of my spasm I felt a hand on my shoulder. I turned to be face to face with Lin, who was smiling at me but was wounded rather badly. He had a gash at his right eyebrow and was holding his ribs, his right arm hung uselessly, and he had a gash in his left leg. I sighed and set my head gently against his un wounded arm. "Come with me." I said, dragging him to my room. I knew Lin well enough to know that he wouldn't go to the infirmary even if Vicious himself were to order him to go. I sat him down and went on my way to find bandages.

I returned with the bandages, a thread and needle, some disinfectants, tweezers, and a knife. Lin had generously already taken his coat and shirt off, and was waiting for me when I get back with a grin. I smiled at him slightly. "Can you take a lot of pain?" I asked.

"Yes." He said. I smiled.

"Good, because, there will be a lot of it." I replied, sitting net to him. First step, use the knife to get the bullet from his right shoulder. Unfortunately it hadn't gone through, so I dug lightly at the bundled flesh until I found the bullet that was indeed imbedded in his shoulder. Using some tweezers I plopped the bullet onto the stand directly adjacent to my bed. Once I finished, I disinfected it and bandaged his shoulder. Next stop, the ribs. I found he had a big gash there too. One of the opposing morons must have had a sword. I carefully but tightly wrapped his ribs after putting antibiotics on it, then smiled to him. Now I had to remove his pants. I blushed as I did so, but I had to get the wound at his leg. Taking the antibiotics, I cleaned and bandaged that wound. Now all that was left was to sew up that gash in his right eye brow. Taking the needle, which had been soaking in disinfectant, I began to sew the gash at his right eyebrow. Lin never winced once. The was a little blood that dripped from his torn flesh, but it soon stopped when I finished sewing. Then I gently wrapped some bandages around his fore head. He smiled and me and brought his left hand up to my cheek. I smiled back and closed my eyes. Maybe Gren was right, maybe I would grow to love this man.

I told Lin to stay where he was and went to his room to get him a clean pair of pants. His current pants were ripped and gashed. I grabbed up a pair of black knits and bought them back to him, laying them on my bed next to him. He gratefully pulled them on, but had a hard time doing so with only one hand. It may be wrong to laugh at a handicap person, but if you saw him with his one hand, grunting to get his pants up, you'd laugh too.

After that, I helped him down to the mess hall, where Shin greeted us. His worst was a gash at the ribs. He had a gash on his eyebrow as well, but on the other side. I laughed slightly at the convenience of it all. I sat Lin down at the table and left him with his younger brother, to get him some food. Nancy was serving something that backwashed into a motel toilet, but I got it for Lin anyway. I brought that and a glass of water to him, setting it in front of him. "Eat." I said, waving my hands at him. He looked at it oddly for a moment but began to eat. "Shin, you should eat too. If you'd like, I can get it for you." I said. Shin shook his head and told me that he could et it, because he wasn't nearly in as bad a shape as Lin.

Out of the corner of my eye, I caught something gray. I turned to see vicious, whom has a large gash at his right cheek that he hadn't bother to take care of. As he walked I could see that he was attempting not to limp. For a fraction of a second I felt bad for him. This was long enough for me to tell Lin that I would be back, and for me to walk to Vicious, who looked upon me coldly as he had always done. I sighed some. "I'm sorry for not being at the mission, Sir." I said and bowed lightly. He grunted at me. "Allow me to bandage your wounds, to make up for it?" I asked. He shook his head.

"No. Leave me." He said.

"Sir, with all due respect, I think you should have someone clean them. They'll get infected. If they do, you wont be able to fight. If you get gangrene and you could die. Judging by the gash at your cheek, you wouldn't live long, catching gangrene there." I said. He looked at me crossly. "Please?"

"Fine." He said and turned on heel. I followed him back to his own room. I had to hold in a gasp, for no one but Vicious himself had ever seen his room. It was amazingly furnished. Crimson carpets, golden lined. His walls has some sort of intricate design that could only be seen if one was close enough. He had a huge bed in the corner where he now sat. "There is a first aid kit in my closet, top shelf. You will find every thing you need." He said. I walked to his closet and opened it to find many, many uniforms. Big surprise. I did, in fact, find the kit and took it down, walking to the now shirtless Vicious. More held in gasps. I first took out a sterile needle and thread, dousing his cheek with disinfectant first. Vicious neither flinched nor grimaced. You have to admire such a stoic response.

"Vicious, sir…" I paused and gulped. "For me to be able to bandage the wound on your leg, you have to remove your…pants." I said and turned away. I heard him stand with a slight grunt, then the metal of his belt hitting the floor. I turned and kneeled, dousing the stab wound on his leg with disinfectant. I then wrapped his leg with bandages, quickly but carefully.

"There you are, sir." I said and turned from him quickly.

"Thank you. You may leave." He said. I quickly made my way out his door and back to the mess hall. Lin and Shin were still there. When they saw me, they both gave me an odd look.

"Call me crazy…" I started as I sat down.

"Okay, crazy." Lin teased. I smiled at him and closed my eyes before opening them wide again.

"Call me crazy BUT…I felt a little bad for the guy. He wont go to the infirmary, and there is no one to bandage him. I felt bad for him, so I did him a favor." I said. "As much as I hate that, that…man." I said. They sighed and looked at me. We spent about ten more minutes before retiring back to our quarters. Or at least Shin did. I walked out onto a deck with Lin. From the deck you could see all of the stars that moved by as we putted along in the big HQ ship. Little white-ish blobs of light floated peacefully by. By international time, it was about 3:30 in the morning. I yawned slightly and leaned against the rail on the deck. What a lovely site to behold…

…………

Author's notes:

Well, I hope you all enjoy this chapter.

I want to say HI! To Ash! Because Ash rox my sox! Hell yes!

Okay, done with that now.

If you read my Vega story, that's currently on hiatus. Kinda…have…nowhere to go with it. - Heh! Should have the next installments of ILTHYDM up soon. For those of you who don't abriviate well, that I love to hate you Draco Malfoy.