A/N: While I was typing this chapter up, I was eating those goldfish crackers and inhaled a crumb and started choking…

Pleasant huh?

Hope you enjoy it! And yes, I have realized that my chapter titles kind of suck but hey, what can I say? I'm not good with titles.

What's in a name anyway?

Disclaimer I no own Harry Potter

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James stood rooted to the spot, wondering whether she had really been speaking to him or to his overall self, and just muttering thoughts.

"You shouldn't have had to see that," she mumbled, answering his unasked question. "I couldn't suddenly tell Amos that I had other things to do just because you stepped in, especially after he spent the entire evening doing whatever I wanted to do."

James took off his invisibility cloak and took the now empty seat across from her.

"He really is a sweet one," she whispered.

James held back a scoff. "He didn't even walk you back to Gryffindor tower."

"That's because I begged him not to earlier. I told you once, I don't want a knight in shining armor."

James scowled onto the table, the jealousy within him rising. He hated Amos, despised him. And he would prove himself the better in the Quidditch match, chaser against keeper.

"You're being childish," Lily chided, reading his thoughts. "We agreed to be only friends, as well as to have OTHER relationships."

James sighed with defeat apparent in every note his voice held.

"Potter," Lily groaned, "please don't…don't be jealous, I guess. I don't want our friendship to end."

He didn't say anything, even though he felt the urge to scream every piece of hurt he felt at her. He wanted to yell the betrayal away. For the first time as long as James could remember (reaching back to first year memories) he had never felt this pained over anything just as he had never wanted to destroy something more than he did at that moment.

"I'm going to bed Potter," Lily whispered when the awkward silence had gone on for too long. James didn't bother responding. He knew that Lily was disappointed with his behavior, could feel the hurt-filled and ashamed jade gaze on his back. But he didn't care. He didn't look at her, didn't bother responding to her nearly silent goodnight. It wasn't until minutes after she left when he finally moved at all, being asked by a house elf if he wanted anything.

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James hadn't slept one bit. He (just like the rest of Gryffindor Quidditch Team) didn't have an appetite, though his lack of hunger was for different reasons. All the anticipation, all the excitement and allure of the game he had waited so long for had disappeared.

James trudged with the rest of his teammates onto the field, the weather contrasting greatly with his mood.

How could the day be so calm, so sunny and even relatively warm, when inside him a violent storm was attacking?

Because life moves on, whether you're ready or not.

And he didn't have to wonder where he heard those words.

As their team captains shook hands, James looked at Amos, looking so happy and full of life whereas James knew that he looked his emotions.

Sad that one mans happiness cost another mans his, and the happy one doesn't even know the horrible pain he's causing ME!

James really didn't concentrate on the game, but more concentrated on throwing the quaffle into Amos's, all-too-innocent face.

He felt childish, immature, reverting to secret plots of in-direct revenge that was undeserved on behalf the victim. But he couldn't help it, as the savage within him rose uncontrollably. The roller-coaster ride Evans had put his heart on (hah another cliché) for the past month made him feel sick, with a desperate attempt to vomit the anger out.

And, as he should have expected, they lost the game, putting them in third place for the cup until the final game of the year.

When the rest of the team had resorted to the common room, James furiously threw his broomstick against the wall, where it fell to the floor with a piteous clatter. And when the strong urge to cry overtook him, he listened to his heart's need as the only way to relieve the pain.

If this is being in love, I wish I didn't have a heart.

Sirius, Remus, and Peter sensed that there was something besides the match bothering James, but felt it was better to leave James in peace for the time being.

And, as much as James loved their sense of privacy, he needed them to ask and pry, so that maybe, just maybe, his heart could heal a little.

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Lily had killed him; she saw it in his eyes during those brief seconds they were caught looking at each other.

The entire week had been dreadful, for her moments alone at least. She couldn't get over James, how she had hurt him. When she was with Amos, she certainly felt BETTER, but a small part of her always felt guilty.

Why, she didn't know. He had agreed on the terms of their pact, had known this would happen eventually. But she still felt so guilty.

And she couldn't get the memory of that flight out of her mind.

James was miserable; EVERYONE knew that. he even attempted to act happy, but his broken heart shone through his eyes, and his smile was n o longer what it had once been.

It all felt…

Unreal?

They hadn't spoken since that late Friday night, and two entire weeks had passed by. The Hogsmeade weekend had been spent with Amos, rather than the original plan of James.

Lily found herself constantly waking in the middle of the night from yet another dream of James, where the two somehow always ended up kissing, and she always ended up sending a brokenhearted him away.

Not only was Lily guilty for her fault of James's misery, but she also felt remorse in her hidden feelings from Amos. The two WERE a couple, and her thoughts of James should have long faded.

Lily remembered back to that first week over Christmas, when she had told James that if they were really meant to be, they would be together in the end.

She just didn't know if they WERE meant to be.

"Lily?" Amelia asked, waving a hand in front of her face. "You were spacing out again."

"Really?" Lily asked, looking down at her failed attempt for a History of Magic essay.

"You haven't been yourself lately," Alice commented, "ever since you and Amos began dating."

"Maybe you should break it off with him?" Amelia carefully suggested.

"No, no, no, no, no, no!" Lily shook her head vigorously. "He's the only one that's kept LILY here."

"Isn't he the reason she's trying to leave in the first place?" Sirius suddenly said, taking a seat nearby them. "Lily, Prongsy is completely miserable! He tries to be happy, but doesn't seem to be responding to anyone!"

"Sorry," Lily quickly said, packing her stuff, "but I'm not a therapist. If Potter can't snap out of his self pity himself, there's no point in bothering." And she quickly left the common room.