A/N: Remus and Laura . . . sigh. They got back together before, but never
really resolved anything . . . Let's see if they can fix their problems!
I don't own Harry Potter.
Trust and Love
"Come," Dumbledore said gently, placing his hand on Dana's arm. "Let me take you to the Ministry."
Dana nodded, and detached herself from Olivia and Lily. Olivia reached out to touch her face.
"Are you sure you want to go alone, Dana?"
"I'm sure," Dana replied, wiping tears from her face. "Thank you so much – all of you."
A murmur went through the group, as though to assure her that they would always support her.
"I don't know if I'll be home tonight," Dana said, addressing herself to the girls.
Lily nodded. "You'll be in our prayers."
Dana nodded, and left the room with Dumbledore. They all watched her go, unsure of what to do.
Frank cleared his throat. "In light of what's happened, I think we'll postpone further training exercises for tonight. We'll be in touch with you to give you the exact time of when we'll meet again."
"But know this," Moody said. "This is what we deal with every day as members of the Order. Maybe not always the death of someone close to us, but the attacks, the sorrow – these are our constant companions. If you don't want to continue with us, please tell us now. We won't think any less of you."
Sirius looked him straight in the eye. There was no way he was going to quit – not Auror training, and not the Order. Moody met his eye, and nodded slightly. He stepped closer to the younger man.
"Dumbledore told me you were different," he said. "He told me that you weren't like the rest of your family. I'm glad to see that he was right."
"This is my family," Sirius replied, indicating the friends that were gathered around him. "These people have stood by me when my blood relatives didn't. These people have been there for me through every possible circumstance. I would do anything for them, and I know that they would do the same for me."
Moody nodded again. "Trust, Black," he said softly. "Trust."
***
James, Sirius, Lily, and Olivia Apparated to the girls' flat. Peter had gone home, and Remus and Laura had gone to her place to discuss what exactly had happened between them during training. Once they were all inside the flat, they collapsed in the sitting room.
"I can't believe that just happened," Olivia said, curling up against Sirius. "How could something so awful happen to Dana? She doesn't deserve that."
"Does anyone?" Sirius asked quietly. "Did you deserve to lose part of your family?"
"No, of course not. But Dana is so sweet, so compassionate – I can't stand the thought of her suffering like that." A tear slid down Olivia's cheek.
"Hey," Sirius whispered, brushing away her tear, "Dana's going to be all right. She's strong. She'll get through this."
"I know," Olivia whispered.
Sirius bent his head, and kissed her cheek, just under her eye. "You're sweet and compassionate, too, Liv. If you weren't, how could you ever feel so much for your friend?"
"Sirius," she whispered.
He put his hand under her chin, tilting her head up to kiss her. She melted up against him, sinking into the kiss. When Sirius' hands began to move over her body, James and Lily looked at one another a bit uncomfortably.
"Do you want to go back to my place?" James whispered.
Lily nodded. "This is a bit awkward."
James grinned. "I don't think they'll notice if we just leave without saying good bye."
"Probably not."
"Let's go, then."
They both Apparated to James' flat, and collapsed onto his sofa. James put his arm around Lily, drawing her close. She sighed as she curled up next to him.
"When will this end, James?" she whispered. "When will the death, the loss, the pain, and the heartache end?"
"Will they ever?" James replied. "I mean, even without the war, even without Voldemort, people will still be in pain."
"I know," Lily said softly. "But far more of them are in pain now. I wish there was a way we could help."
"We are helping. That's what joining the Order is all about."
"Yes, but I feel like I should be doing something more. Sirius and Olivia are. They're going to work as Aurors. And you are. The main reason you're in the Ministry is to do work for Dumbledore. Laura will do work for him, too. And Remus and Dana will save the lives of Voldemort's victims. But I . . . I just write sports stories for the Daily Prophet."
"It doesn't always have to be that way, you know. Didn't you say that your editor was willing to consider you for a promotion? Think of all the good you could do at the newspaper! You could investigate stories, and uncover plots. You can publish the truth about what's going on. You can make a real difference, Lil. You just have to find a way to do it."
"I guess I can, can't I?" she smiled.
"Of course!"
Her smile faded. "Assuming, of course, that I live long enough to make that difference."
"Hey," James said quickly, tilting her face up so that he could look into her eyes. "What's all this about?"
"James, you've said yourself that we need to live like there won't be a tomorrow." She drew a shaky breath. "Did you know that Dana's dad was Muggle-born?"
"No, I didn't know that."
"Well, he was. And so am I."
"Lil, no. Don't even think like that! The two are not connected. Mr. Morgan was caught in the crossfire. Dumbledore said that himself."
"No, that's not what he said," Lily corrected. "He said that Mr. Morgan was defending a group of people who were caught in the crossfire, and that he was killed by a Death Eater. He didn't say anything about it being accidental – and somehow, I don't think it was."
"You think they attacked with the intention of killing Mr. Morgan?"
"Well, not just him, I'm sure. But I do think that he was one of their targets." She paused, and looked down. "Just like I am."
"NO, Lil! I'm not going to let anything happen to you!"
"But it might." She looked up again, her eyes full of tears. "I'm not afraid for me, James. If I was, I wouldn't be doing this training for the Order. I'm afraid for my parents, for my sister, for the girls . . . I'm afraid for you." She drew a shaky breath. "I can handle the idea of dying, James, but I can't handle the idea of leaving you."
He pulled her close, wrapping his arms around her. "You WON'T. You aren't going to leave me now, and you won't ever leave me. And I'm never going to leave you. I love you, Lily, and I won't let anything happen to you."
"God, James, I love you. I can't stand the idea of living without you."
"You won't. I promise you, Lily, we're always going to be together."
***
Remus and Laura Apparated to her flat. For a moment, neither of them spoke – neither of them knew what to say. It was Laura who finally broke the silence.
"I hope Dana's all right. I don't know what I'd do if something like that happened to someone in my family."
"Dana will be fine," Remus said in a choked voice. "She has Dumbledore with her now, and she has the support of her friends." He paused, and drew a deep breath. "I'm more worried about us, Laura."
Laura looked up to meet his eyes. They were full of pain and a sense of betrayal. "Remus," she whispered.
"Please explain what happened back there," he said, his voice shaking slightly. He was trying to stay calm. There had to be a perfectly reasonable, logical explanation for what had happened.
"I – I don't know," Laura said, lowering her eyes. She couldn't stand to see the hurt and confusion on Remus' face.
"You don't know?" Remus repeated. He ran his hand through his hair. "I really thought we had worked all this out, Laura. I've been completely honest and straightforward with you ever since . . . ever since that day in the Shrieking Shack. I've done everything I could to make you trust me. Why can't you?"
Tears filled her eyes. "It's just . . ."
"You don't trust me?" Remus asked incredulously. "So, all those times that you told me you love me, you were lying?"
"NO! I love you, Remus!"
"Do you? How can you love someone that you don't even trust? How can you make love to someone that you don't trust? Or didn't it mean as much to you as it did to me? Was it just meaningless shagging for you?"
Laura flinched as though he had struck her. "How can you say that? You know it's not like that!"
"Do I? I feel like I don't know anything anymore." He ran his hands over his face. "Have we been living a lie for all these months? Damn it, Laura! I've tried so hard to make you believe that I love you, that I trust you, and all this time, you've . . ."
"I do love you, Remus! And I do trust you! But . . ."
"But what?"
"I'm afraid," she said, her voice just above a whisper.
Remus blinked. "You're afraid?"
"Yes."
"Of what?"
"Of losing you." She sank down onto the couch. "Weren't you listening to what Moody, Longbottom, and Dumbledore were saying? They were all trying to prepare us for the worst. They were all trying to tell us not to get too close to one another."
"What do you mean? That whole exercise that they made us do was about getting close. It was about TRUSTING one another," Remus replied, the irritation returning to his voice.
"Didn't you see the way they split us up at the beginning?"
"Laura," Remus said, now clearly annoyed, "they did that because they were sure that we would trust our significant others. They weren't sure we'd be able to trust our friends. You, however, seem to have the opposite problem. I watched you! I watched you fall into Sirius' arms, Lily's, everyone's! You didn't have a problem believing that they'd be there to catch you! I was the one you didn't trust!"
Laura shuddered slightly, trying not to sob. "Remus, please."
"Remus, please WHAT?" Remus spat. He began pacing in front of her.
"Please LISTEN to me!"
Remus stopped pacing, and looked down at her. He took a deep, steadying breath. "All right. I'm listening."
"I do trust you," she said quietly.
"Well, you have an odd way of showing it."
"I said to listen!" she yelled, jumping out of her seat.
"Sorry."
Laura took a deep breath. "Remus, I'm closer to you than I've ever been to anyone in my life. I know you have trouble believing it right now, but I do love you, and I do trust you. You're right – how could I have made love to you if I didn't love you, or didn't trust you? You know I wouldn't do that without loving you. I'm not like that. I've loved you ever since fifth year."
"Laura, you have to admit that our relationship has changed since we were fifteen."
"I know it has. Especially after I found out . . ."
"Since you found out what I am," Remus said, looking away from her. He sighed. "I shouldn't blame you for not trusting me. Most people don't." The words weren't said for her benefit, or to gain sympathy. They were true.
"You listen to me, Remus Lupin! That has nothing to do with anything!"
"Laura, I told you that I'm a werewolf, and you left me. You have to admit that your actions make it seem like it has everything to do with it."
"Remus," she sighed. "All right, we'll take this back to that day. Was I terrified when you told me? Yes. Was I hurt that you hadn't told me before? Yes. Was I angry that you trusted your friends with your secret, but not me? Yes. Was I heartbroken for both of us? Yes. But did I think any less of you as a person? No."
"Why didn't you stay?" Remus whispered. "Why did you leave me standing there, thinking that you couldn't love me because I'm a werewolf?"
"Don't you understand? It had nothing to do with that!"
"How can you say that?"
"Because it's true! If that was what it was about, would I be here with you right now? If I hated you because you're a werewolf, would I have ever let you touch me, let alone . . ."
"Laura . . ."
"NO! It's my turn to talk now, Remus! When you told me, I was scared for you, I was hurt that you hadn't told me, and I was sure that you were trying to hide part of yourself from me because you didn't trust me enough to tell me. It took shocking news to make me acknowledge what my sister had told me all along – that I was hurt, but I never stopped loving you."
Remus' face began to soften. Laura looked up at him, feeling hopeful in spite of herself. Maybe this wasn't over. Maybe they could save it.
"I love you, Remus. I love you so much that it scares me. THAT'S why I couldn't fall back into your arms."
"I love you, Laura," Remus interjected. "I really do, but I can't understand why you couldn't just fall back into my arms. Don't you know that I'll always catch you? I'll never let you fall, love. Never."
"I know that," Laura whispered, tears filling her eyes. She sank back down onto the couch. "I'm scared to get to close. I'm scared to let myself go completely, to . . . I guess it's too late. I'm completely in love with you. But, ever since that day at the platform, when I thought that you were dead, I've been terrified that I would lose you. I don't want to get too close because I can't stand the pain of what might happen, yet I'm already so close that I can't stop it."
"Laura, I'm right here." Remus knelt down in front of her, and touched her face. "I'm right here. You're not going to lose me."
Laura leaned forward until her forehead was touching his. "Do you promise?"
"Of course. I'm not going anywhere."
"Good. Neither am I."
***
When Remus arrived at the boys' flat, he found James sitting alone in the dim sitting room. He frowned slightly. Where was everyone?
"James?" he asked.
"Remus," James exclaimed. "What happened? Did you and Laura --?"
"We're fine," Remus said, his relief evident on his face. "We had a lot of stuff to talk about, and a lot of issues to work through." He sat down next to James, and ran his hands over his face. "Do you remember the day that Laura and I got back together? When we were going back to Hogwarts after Christmas?"
"I remember."
"Do you remember when I told you? You were so shocked, and you had this look on your face . . . I think I finally understand that look you gave me."
James smiled slightly. "I was worried. I mean, you guys had had a huge fight, and then you patched everything up in fifteen minutes? It didn't make sense."
Remus nodded. "Well, your fears were well-grounded. We finally worked everything out tonight." He sighed. "I had no idea . . . But it's over now, and we're fine."
"Why aren't you still with her?"
"I wanted to see how you guys were holding up. Where is everyone, anyway?"
"Lily went to her parents' house. She wanted to make sure that they're all right. I told her that someone would have come to find her if anything happened, but she said she had to see for herself."
Remus nodded. "I guess I can understand that."
"Yeah, I suppose. She's a little paranoid," he grinned. "Don't tell her I said so."
"I won't," Remus laughed. "What about Sirius and Olivia? Where are they?"
"At the girls' flat. When Lily and I left, Sirius and Olivia were practically on their way to the bedroom."
Remus raised his eyebrows. "Bit of an awkward situation for you and Lily?"
"That's an understatement!" James laughed.
"And Peter?"
"He went home when we left Headquarters. He didn't come back with us at all. He said he wanted to check on his parents, and to let them know that he was all right. He figured they'd be panicked since they knew that he was supposed to be in Diagon Alley tonight."
"I should owl my parents," Remus mused. "I don't know if they'll have heard that anything happened yet, but I want to tell them that I'm fine.
"You can borrow Owl," James offered. "My parents will already know that I wasn't involved."
Remus nodded, and got up to write his letter. He had just sent Owl off when Sirius Apparated into the kitchen.
"Hey!" he called cheerfully, entering the sitting room. "How's everyone doing?"
"You're chipper," James commented, giving Remus a knowing look. Remus laughed.
Sirius watched the looks that passed between his friends, and grinned. "Guilty as charged."
James shook his head. "Bit of a depressing time for that, wasn't it?"
"Well, we had to cheer ourselves up, didn't we?"
Remus shook his head, and sat down. "Laura and I are fine, thanks for asking."
"Well, Prongs was determined to learn about my activities for the last few hours, so I haven't exactly had a chance to ask."
"Oh, sure, blame me! It's always my fault!"
Sirius laughed, then calmed down. "I knew you guys would be able to work it out. You have a strong relationship."
"No, we didn't," Remus replied. "But we do now."
Sirius nodded. "Good for you, Moony. I'm proud of you for seeing this through, and for working out your problems."
Remus grinned. "Thanks, Padfoot."
James cleared his throat. "Can I ask you guys a favor?"
"Sure."
"Anything, mate."
James grinned. "Well, I had some time alone to think, and I've made a decision."
"What's that?"
"I want to ask Lily to marry me."
For fifteen full seconds, Sirius and Remus stared at James in shock. When the fifteen seconds were up, they both jumped out of their seats, shouting their congratulations.
"How did you come to this decision?" Sirius exclaimed. "I mean, I know you two are really close, and really in love, but . . .?"
"Well, we came back here tonight, and we started talking about everything. Lily told me that Dana's dad was Muggle-born. She's really scared that she'll be one of Voldemort's targets, since she's Muggle-born, too. She said that she isn't afraid to die, but she's afraid to leave me. She said something that made me realize – I can't imagine every living without her. I can't imagine loving anyone but her. She said that she can't stand the idea of living without me. I know exactly what she means, because I can't stand the idea of living without HER." He smiled. "I love her, guys. She's it for me. I want to marry her. I want to be with her for the rest of my life."
Sirius and Remus looked at him solemnly. "You're sure?" Sirius asked. "This isn't a decision you can take back, James."
"I'm sure," James nodded. "Which brings me to the favor. Will you guys go ring shopping with me?"
"Absolutely!" Sirius exclaimed.
"Definitely," Remus grinned.
"Good," James said, obviously relieved. "Is tomorrow all right?"
"Perfect."
***
"Are you sure she'll like it?"
"If we didn't think she'd like it, would we have let you spend all your savings on it?"
"Fair point."
It had been a week since James had made the decision to propose to Lily. He, Sirius, and Remus had shopped all over Diagon Alley, Hogsmeade, and London, searching for the perfect ring for Lily. They had finally selected a circle cut diamond that was large enough to be impressive but small enough to be within James' budget. As soon as he had bought it, James owled Lily, asking for a date. He had everything planned. It was going to be a perfect evening.
"So you're meeting in Hogsmeade?" Sirius asked.
James nodded. "She said she was going early to visit Laura. I'm going to pick her up at Laura's flat."
Remus grinned. "Thank goodness I didn't tell Laura what's going on. I don't think she'd be able to stand not telling Lily."
"Yeah, I had the same thoughts about Liv," Sirius grinned.
"Really, I don't know how you guys have kept it quiet," James laughed. "I think you're more excited than I am!"
"That isn't possible," Sirius replied.
"Your whole plan is incredible," Remus said with an encouraging smile. "You guys are going to have a great night, and Sirius and I want to help you with that."
"What do you mean?" James asked, frowning slightly.
Sirius grinned. "Well – just in case you want to bring Lily back here tonight, we're going to make ourselves scarce. I'm going to spend the night at the girls' flat."
"And I'm spending the night with Laura," Remus added.
James' jaw dropped. "What?"
"We want to make sure that everything is perfect," Sirius grinned. "We're going to give you guys some time alone to celebrate your engagement."
A slightly worried look came into James' eyes. "Guys . . . What if she says no?"
Sirius and Remus exchanged a glance that clearly said that James was crazy. However, looking at their friend again, they realized that this was a very real concern for him. Sirius clapped his hand down on James' shoulder.
"Do you remember back when I used to tell you that it was hopeless – that Lily would never like you?"
James laughed. "How could I forget? You said it repeatedly for over six years!"
Sirius smiled. "Yeah, well, I was wrong. Lily loves you, mate, and she's going to say yes. There's no way she'll turn you down."
James swallowed. "I hope you're right."
"He is," Remus said with a simple confidence. "We've seen the way she looks at you. It's the same way you look at her. You guys are completely a part of one another – you're the most important thing in each other's lives. She's going to say yes, Prongs. There's no chance she'll turn you down."
James smiled weakly. "Thanks, guys. For everything. You've been great, and I don't know how I would have made it through the last week – no, the last seven years – without you."
Sirius and Remus both grinned. Words seemed inadequate.
***
James Apparated to the street just outside Laura's flat, and walked up to knock on the door. For some reason, he felt it would be inappropriate to just appear inside. The weight of the ring in his pocket smacked against his leg as he walked. He felt a jitter of nerves as he knocked on the door. What if -?
Laura answered his knock, her face lit with a smile. "Right on time!" she laughed. "I thought you'd be late."
"When am I late to meet Lily?" James grinned.
"Well . . . I guess I hoped you be late. I hardly ever get to see Lily, and I wanted some more time with her."
"That's your own fault!" Lily laughed as she joined them. "We practically begged you to move in with us, but you refused."
"I know," Laura smiled. "Most of the time I'm happy to be alone, but I've really enjoyed having you over today." She glanced at James. "Do you want to come in, or do you guys have to be off?"
James hesitated. It wasn't that they had reservations, but he really wanted to start the date. Fortunately, Lily saved him from making the decision.
"We should be off," she said. "We'll come by to see you before we go back, as long as it's not too late."
"Oh, yes, do!" Laura exclaimed. "Remus is coming over tonight, so you'll get to see him, too."
Lily's eyes twinkled. "Well, then we'd definitely better go. I'm sure you need plenty of time to primp."
Laura laughed. "I don't know exactly how to take that remark."
Lily laughed with her. "We'll see you later, Laura."
"Bye," James grinned. "Tell Remus hello."
"Didn't you just see him about ten minutes ago?"
"That's hardly the point," James laughed.
Laura shook her head, and waved her hand. "Go! Go on your date! I'll see you both later!"
James took Lily's hand, and steered her out of the house. They were both still laughing as they reached the street.
"Where are we going?" Lily asked.
"I thought you liked surprises," James teased.
"I do – but I thought the surprises would be over by now."
"No way, little girl. There will be plenty of surprises tonight."
Lily smiled. "Well, then I guess I'll have to be patient."
"Yes, you will." James led her through the streets of Hogsmeade, stopping in front of Honeyduke's. "Shall we go inside?"
Lily looked at him with raised eyebrows. "We're going to Honeyduke's?"
"Sure. I thought you liked chocolate!"
"Oh, you know I do, it's just – a bit odd."
James grinned. "Come on. Let's go inside. I want to buy you something chocolatey."
Lily looked at him oddly. She was sure he had said something like that to her before, but she couldn't remember when. "All right," she said, still confused.
"What would you like?" James asked. He walked over to a chocolate display, and picked up a box. "These are your favorite, aren't they?"
"Yes, but you already knew that."
"Well, I guess I can skip calling it a lucky guess then. Why don't you pick something?"
Lily fell into the spirit of the game, and wandered around the store, trying to decide what she wanted to buy. James followed her through the aisles, making suggestions. She finally managed to select a box of candy, which James promptly offered to buy for her. As they stood at the counter, Lily looked at him again.
"You know, I have the oddest sense of déjà vu right now."
"Really?" James asked, pretending to be surprised.
"Yes," she said slowly. "I'm not quite sure why, though."
James grinned. "I can't think of any reason. Every other time I've been in this store, it was full of Hogwarts students."
Lily smiled. "Yeah, I guess you're right."
James paid for the candy, and led her outside. "Right. Anywhere you'd like to go next?"
"I thought you had everything planned out."
"True. Let's walk around for a bit, shall we?"
"All right," Lily smiled. She reached down to take his hand. "It's nice, spending time together like this. We don't get to do it nearly often enough."
"My thoughts exactly," James replied, lifting her hand to his lips.
She smiled. "I've missed you," she said softly.
"I've missed you, too," James said, his own voice quiet. "I feel like we hardly ever get to see one another anymore."
"That's because we don't," Lily replied. "All we do is work and train for the Order."
"Oh, be fair. We've only had one training session since the first . . ." He trailed off, and glanced sideways at her. "Lil, how's Dana doing?"
Lily sighed. "She's all right, I guess. She's been spending a lot of time with her mum, and with Aidan. He's helped her immensely." She bit her bottom lip.
"You're still worried, aren't you?"
"About Dana?"
"Yes," James said slowly. "And about her dad being Muggle-born."
"Yeah, I am worried about it," Lily replied softly. "I haven't had time to start looking into it at work yet, but I will as soon as this interview with Ludo Bagman is over."
"When is that?" James asked, his eyes lighting up.
"Next week," Lily laughed. "It's all that Olivia will talk about. She keeps trying to get me to let her come."
"Sirius isn't good enough for her anymore?" James laughed.
"In Liv's world, everyone pales in comparison to an international Quidditch star."
"Everyone does in most people's worlds."
"Are you trying to tell me that you have a secret crush on Ludo Bagman?"
James gave her a teasing smile. "Maybe. How would that make you feel?"
"A bit used," Lily laughed. "And now that I know that, I certainly won't get you that autograph that you so desperately wanted!"
James laughed. "Ouch! That was harsh!"
"Yeah, well, I'm not going to share you with Ludo."
"You won't have to. You don't have to worry about sharing me with anyone."
Lily smiled. "Good. I don't want to."
"So possessive," James grinned.
"Well, when you're dating one of Hogwarts' most-wanted bachelors, you tend to be possessive," Lily laughed. She looked around, then turned to James, her eyebrows rising. "Where are we?"
"Hogsmeade," James replied at once.
"Yes, I'm aware of that," she said a bit sarcastically. "I mean, where in Hogsmeade are we? Are we lost?"
"No, not at all. I know exactly where we are." He turned a corner, revealing the Three Broomsticks. "See? I thought we could stop here for dinner."
Lily looked at him with a curious expression. "James – I know we've done this before. Are we – did you – is this our first date all over again?"
James grinned nervously. "Yeah, it is."
"Really?" Lily's face relaxed into a delighted smile. "You went to all the trouble to recreate our first date?"
"It wasn't a lot of trouble, Lil," James laughed. "I mean, our first date included Honeyduke's, the Three Broomsticks, and wandering around the village."
"But still – you remembered all that?"
"I could never forget," James said in a low voice. "Could you?"
Lily stood on tiptoe to kiss him in reply. James smiled against her lips.
"I guess it was a good idea, then?"
"The best," she whispered. "I can't believe you did this. I love you, James."
"I love you," James whispered. He kissed her again. "Do you want to go inside?"
"Yeah, I'm starving."
James laughed, and took her hand. "Come on. I'm sure Madam Rosmerta will have a table open for us."
Madam Rosmerta was thrilled to see them again. She asked about what they were doing with their lives, and about all their friends. She was duly impressed with their careers. She stayed to chat while they ate. Before they had finished, business picked up, and she had to wait on other tables.
Left alone, James and Lily fell into silence. It wasn't awkward, or even slightly uncomfortable. They found themselves staring into each other's eyes, almost as though they were looking into one another's souls. Unconsciously, their hands drifted together on top of the table.
"You tell those other boys that they had better get in here to see me." Madam Rosmerta reappeared, breaking the spell.
James dragged his eyes away from Lily's, but didn't release her hand. "I will," he said. His voice a little hoarse, almost as though he had been caught snogging her at the table.
Madam Rosmerta smiled fondly. "I've really missed having you boys in here. None of the new third years can compare with you."
James smiled. "Well, I'm sure someone will come along someday."
"Let's hope not," she replied, squeezing his shoulder. "I don't know if Hogwarts could handle more students like the four of you."
"I'm not sure if that's a compliment or an insult."
"Take it however you want," she laughed. "Here's your check."
"Ah, come on, now," James laughed. "You were so excited to see me, but you're still going to charge me?"
"I don't give freebies, James," she laughed.
James shook his head, and handed over the money to pay for their meal. "Well, Lil, are you ready to go?"
"Sure," she replied. "Where are we going next?"
"I thought maybe we could walk around the park."
"That sounds lovely."
James took her hand, and led her to the park. He had discussed it with Sirius and Remus, and they had agreed that this would be the perfect place for his proposal. He glanced up at the sky. It was after dusk, and stars were beginning to shine. He noted that there wouldn't be a moon to light the sky, a fact for which Remus was grateful.
Lily moved closer to him, and he looked away from the sky. His eyes fell on her face, and he grinned.
"I love you," he said spontaneously.
Lily looked up at him in confusion. "I love you, too, James."
"I'm sorry. It was just . . . I . . ." He trailed into silence, and smiled helplessly. "Let's go sit over here, shall we?"
Lily nodded, and walked with him to a bench. They sat down, and he looked at her. He had to do this. Sirius and Remus were right. She would say yes. She had just told him that she loved him. She wouldn't turn him down. He swallowed nervously.
"Lil, you know that I love you," he began, taking her hand in his. "And my feelings are never going to change. I don't just love you for now – I'll love you forever. I want to know that you're going to be with me for the rest of my life. I want to have dinner with you every day, fall asleep next to you every night, and wake up with you every morning. I want to fight over who gets the shower first, to play evens and odds to see who has to clean up after meals, and to debate where we're going for our next holiday."
As he spoke, tears began to gather in Lily's eyes. "James," she whispered.
"No, let me finish," he said, feeling tears sting his own eyes. "I know that we're way too young for this, Lil, but we have to live like there's no tomorrow. Lily, I love you, and I want to be with you forever. Will you please marry me?"
Tears slipped from Lily's eyes, and spilled down her cheeks. "Yes," she whispered. "Yes, James, I'll marry you."
Eyes shining with tears, James reached into his pocket, and pulled out a box. He opened it, and held it for Lily. She gasped, her hands flying to her mouth.
"Oh, James! It's too much!"
"Nothing's too much for you," James grinned. He pulled the ring from its box, and held it between his first finger and thumb. "May I?"
"Please," she whispered, holding out her hand.
James slid the ring over her finger, feeling his own tears begin to fall. Lily looked down at the ring for a moment, then back up at him. She threw herself into his arms, holding him tightly.
"I love you, James."
"I love you, too," he whispered. He pulled back enough to kiss her.
Lily pulled away from his kiss, and looked at him, an ecstatic smile on her face. "We're getting married!"
"Yeah, we are," James grinned. "We're getting married!"
"We have to tell our families, and our friends, and . . ." She looked at him for a moment. "The guys already know, don't they?"
"Yeah, they do," James admitted sheepishly. "Who do you think helped me pick out that ring?"
"How long have you been planning this?"
"About a week."
Lily shook her head. "I don't know how I didn't find out."
"Only Sirius, Remus, and Peter knew, and they swore not to tell anyone. Sirius and Remus have helped me plan everything, but we had to owl Peter to let him know, too. So, they've all been in on it."
Lily shook her head again, and kissed him again. "You're amazing."
James smiled, holding her close. "Do you want to go tell your parents?"
"Not right now," Lily replied, burying her face in his chest. "I want to be alone for awhile first."
"Do you want to go back to my place?"
"You want to be alone with Sirius and Remus?"
"Remus is staying with Laura tonight, and Sirius is staying at your place."
"You guys really did plan this!" A slightly nervous expression crossed her face.
"Actually, they planned that part. They thought we might want to be alone for awhile." He looked at her, his expression completely serious. "I'm not asking you for anything, or pushing you into anything, Lily. We can just talk, or whatever you want. You're in charge."
She kissed him again. When she pulled back and looked at him, the nerves had been replaced with love for him. "I don't want to just talk," she whispered. "Can we go now?"
"Yeah," James said, his voice raspy again. "Yeah, let's go now."
I don't own Harry Potter.
Trust and Love
"Come," Dumbledore said gently, placing his hand on Dana's arm. "Let me take you to the Ministry."
Dana nodded, and detached herself from Olivia and Lily. Olivia reached out to touch her face.
"Are you sure you want to go alone, Dana?"
"I'm sure," Dana replied, wiping tears from her face. "Thank you so much – all of you."
A murmur went through the group, as though to assure her that they would always support her.
"I don't know if I'll be home tonight," Dana said, addressing herself to the girls.
Lily nodded. "You'll be in our prayers."
Dana nodded, and left the room with Dumbledore. They all watched her go, unsure of what to do.
Frank cleared his throat. "In light of what's happened, I think we'll postpone further training exercises for tonight. We'll be in touch with you to give you the exact time of when we'll meet again."
"But know this," Moody said. "This is what we deal with every day as members of the Order. Maybe not always the death of someone close to us, but the attacks, the sorrow – these are our constant companions. If you don't want to continue with us, please tell us now. We won't think any less of you."
Sirius looked him straight in the eye. There was no way he was going to quit – not Auror training, and not the Order. Moody met his eye, and nodded slightly. He stepped closer to the younger man.
"Dumbledore told me you were different," he said. "He told me that you weren't like the rest of your family. I'm glad to see that he was right."
"This is my family," Sirius replied, indicating the friends that were gathered around him. "These people have stood by me when my blood relatives didn't. These people have been there for me through every possible circumstance. I would do anything for them, and I know that they would do the same for me."
Moody nodded again. "Trust, Black," he said softly. "Trust."
***
James, Sirius, Lily, and Olivia Apparated to the girls' flat. Peter had gone home, and Remus and Laura had gone to her place to discuss what exactly had happened between them during training. Once they were all inside the flat, they collapsed in the sitting room.
"I can't believe that just happened," Olivia said, curling up against Sirius. "How could something so awful happen to Dana? She doesn't deserve that."
"Does anyone?" Sirius asked quietly. "Did you deserve to lose part of your family?"
"No, of course not. But Dana is so sweet, so compassionate – I can't stand the thought of her suffering like that." A tear slid down Olivia's cheek.
"Hey," Sirius whispered, brushing away her tear, "Dana's going to be all right. She's strong. She'll get through this."
"I know," Olivia whispered.
Sirius bent his head, and kissed her cheek, just under her eye. "You're sweet and compassionate, too, Liv. If you weren't, how could you ever feel so much for your friend?"
"Sirius," she whispered.
He put his hand under her chin, tilting her head up to kiss her. She melted up against him, sinking into the kiss. When Sirius' hands began to move over her body, James and Lily looked at one another a bit uncomfortably.
"Do you want to go back to my place?" James whispered.
Lily nodded. "This is a bit awkward."
James grinned. "I don't think they'll notice if we just leave without saying good bye."
"Probably not."
"Let's go, then."
They both Apparated to James' flat, and collapsed onto his sofa. James put his arm around Lily, drawing her close. She sighed as she curled up next to him.
"When will this end, James?" she whispered. "When will the death, the loss, the pain, and the heartache end?"
"Will they ever?" James replied. "I mean, even without the war, even without Voldemort, people will still be in pain."
"I know," Lily said softly. "But far more of them are in pain now. I wish there was a way we could help."
"We are helping. That's what joining the Order is all about."
"Yes, but I feel like I should be doing something more. Sirius and Olivia are. They're going to work as Aurors. And you are. The main reason you're in the Ministry is to do work for Dumbledore. Laura will do work for him, too. And Remus and Dana will save the lives of Voldemort's victims. But I . . . I just write sports stories for the Daily Prophet."
"It doesn't always have to be that way, you know. Didn't you say that your editor was willing to consider you for a promotion? Think of all the good you could do at the newspaper! You could investigate stories, and uncover plots. You can publish the truth about what's going on. You can make a real difference, Lil. You just have to find a way to do it."
"I guess I can, can't I?" she smiled.
"Of course!"
Her smile faded. "Assuming, of course, that I live long enough to make that difference."
"Hey," James said quickly, tilting her face up so that he could look into her eyes. "What's all this about?"
"James, you've said yourself that we need to live like there won't be a tomorrow." She drew a shaky breath. "Did you know that Dana's dad was Muggle-born?"
"No, I didn't know that."
"Well, he was. And so am I."
"Lil, no. Don't even think like that! The two are not connected. Mr. Morgan was caught in the crossfire. Dumbledore said that himself."
"No, that's not what he said," Lily corrected. "He said that Mr. Morgan was defending a group of people who were caught in the crossfire, and that he was killed by a Death Eater. He didn't say anything about it being accidental – and somehow, I don't think it was."
"You think they attacked with the intention of killing Mr. Morgan?"
"Well, not just him, I'm sure. But I do think that he was one of their targets." She paused, and looked down. "Just like I am."
"NO, Lil! I'm not going to let anything happen to you!"
"But it might." She looked up again, her eyes full of tears. "I'm not afraid for me, James. If I was, I wouldn't be doing this training for the Order. I'm afraid for my parents, for my sister, for the girls . . . I'm afraid for you." She drew a shaky breath. "I can handle the idea of dying, James, but I can't handle the idea of leaving you."
He pulled her close, wrapping his arms around her. "You WON'T. You aren't going to leave me now, and you won't ever leave me. And I'm never going to leave you. I love you, Lily, and I won't let anything happen to you."
"God, James, I love you. I can't stand the idea of living without you."
"You won't. I promise you, Lily, we're always going to be together."
***
Remus and Laura Apparated to her flat. For a moment, neither of them spoke – neither of them knew what to say. It was Laura who finally broke the silence.
"I hope Dana's all right. I don't know what I'd do if something like that happened to someone in my family."
"Dana will be fine," Remus said in a choked voice. "She has Dumbledore with her now, and she has the support of her friends." He paused, and drew a deep breath. "I'm more worried about us, Laura."
Laura looked up to meet his eyes. They were full of pain and a sense of betrayal. "Remus," she whispered.
"Please explain what happened back there," he said, his voice shaking slightly. He was trying to stay calm. There had to be a perfectly reasonable, logical explanation for what had happened.
"I – I don't know," Laura said, lowering her eyes. She couldn't stand to see the hurt and confusion on Remus' face.
"You don't know?" Remus repeated. He ran his hand through his hair. "I really thought we had worked all this out, Laura. I've been completely honest and straightforward with you ever since . . . ever since that day in the Shrieking Shack. I've done everything I could to make you trust me. Why can't you?"
Tears filled her eyes. "It's just . . ."
"You don't trust me?" Remus asked incredulously. "So, all those times that you told me you love me, you were lying?"
"NO! I love you, Remus!"
"Do you? How can you love someone that you don't even trust? How can you make love to someone that you don't trust? Or didn't it mean as much to you as it did to me? Was it just meaningless shagging for you?"
Laura flinched as though he had struck her. "How can you say that? You know it's not like that!"
"Do I? I feel like I don't know anything anymore." He ran his hands over his face. "Have we been living a lie for all these months? Damn it, Laura! I've tried so hard to make you believe that I love you, that I trust you, and all this time, you've . . ."
"I do love you, Remus! And I do trust you! But . . ."
"But what?"
"I'm afraid," she said, her voice just above a whisper.
Remus blinked. "You're afraid?"
"Yes."
"Of what?"
"Of losing you." She sank down onto the couch. "Weren't you listening to what Moody, Longbottom, and Dumbledore were saying? They were all trying to prepare us for the worst. They were all trying to tell us not to get too close to one another."
"What do you mean? That whole exercise that they made us do was about getting close. It was about TRUSTING one another," Remus replied, the irritation returning to his voice.
"Didn't you see the way they split us up at the beginning?"
"Laura," Remus said, now clearly annoyed, "they did that because they were sure that we would trust our significant others. They weren't sure we'd be able to trust our friends. You, however, seem to have the opposite problem. I watched you! I watched you fall into Sirius' arms, Lily's, everyone's! You didn't have a problem believing that they'd be there to catch you! I was the one you didn't trust!"
Laura shuddered slightly, trying not to sob. "Remus, please."
"Remus, please WHAT?" Remus spat. He began pacing in front of her.
"Please LISTEN to me!"
Remus stopped pacing, and looked down at her. He took a deep, steadying breath. "All right. I'm listening."
"I do trust you," she said quietly.
"Well, you have an odd way of showing it."
"I said to listen!" she yelled, jumping out of her seat.
"Sorry."
Laura took a deep breath. "Remus, I'm closer to you than I've ever been to anyone in my life. I know you have trouble believing it right now, but I do love you, and I do trust you. You're right – how could I have made love to you if I didn't love you, or didn't trust you? You know I wouldn't do that without loving you. I'm not like that. I've loved you ever since fifth year."
"Laura, you have to admit that our relationship has changed since we were fifteen."
"I know it has. Especially after I found out . . ."
"Since you found out what I am," Remus said, looking away from her. He sighed. "I shouldn't blame you for not trusting me. Most people don't." The words weren't said for her benefit, or to gain sympathy. They were true.
"You listen to me, Remus Lupin! That has nothing to do with anything!"
"Laura, I told you that I'm a werewolf, and you left me. You have to admit that your actions make it seem like it has everything to do with it."
"Remus," she sighed. "All right, we'll take this back to that day. Was I terrified when you told me? Yes. Was I hurt that you hadn't told me before? Yes. Was I angry that you trusted your friends with your secret, but not me? Yes. Was I heartbroken for both of us? Yes. But did I think any less of you as a person? No."
"Why didn't you stay?" Remus whispered. "Why did you leave me standing there, thinking that you couldn't love me because I'm a werewolf?"
"Don't you understand? It had nothing to do with that!"
"How can you say that?"
"Because it's true! If that was what it was about, would I be here with you right now? If I hated you because you're a werewolf, would I have ever let you touch me, let alone . . ."
"Laura . . ."
"NO! It's my turn to talk now, Remus! When you told me, I was scared for you, I was hurt that you hadn't told me, and I was sure that you were trying to hide part of yourself from me because you didn't trust me enough to tell me. It took shocking news to make me acknowledge what my sister had told me all along – that I was hurt, but I never stopped loving you."
Remus' face began to soften. Laura looked up at him, feeling hopeful in spite of herself. Maybe this wasn't over. Maybe they could save it.
"I love you, Remus. I love you so much that it scares me. THAT'S why I couldn't fall back into your arms."
"I love you, Laura," Remus interjected. "I really do, but I can't understand why you couldn't just fall back into my arms. Don't you know that I'll always catch you? I'll never let you fall, love. Never."
"I know that," Laura whispered, tears filling her eyes. She sank back down onto the couch. "I'm scared to get to close. I'm scared to let myself go completely, to . . . I guess it's too late. I'm completely in love with you. But, ever since that day at the platform, when I thought that you were dead, I've been terrified that I would lose you. I don't want to get too close because I can't stand the pain of what might happen, yet I'm already so close that I can't stop it."
"Laura, I'm right here." Remus knelt down in front of her, and touched her face. "I'm right here. You're not going to lose me."
Laura leaned forward until her forehead was touching his. "Do you promise?"
"Of course. I'm not going anywhere."
"Good. Neither am I."
***
When Remus arrived at the boys' flat, he found James sitting alone in the dim sitting room. He frowned slightly. Where was everyone?
"James?" he asked.
"Remus," James exclaimed. "What happened? Did you and Laura --?"
"We're fine," Remus said, his relief evident on his face. "We had a lot of stuff to talk about, and a lot of issues to work through." He sat down next to James, and ran his hands over his face. "Do you remember the day that Laura and I got back together? When we were going back to Hogwarts after Christmas?"
"I remember."
"Do you remember when I told you? You were so shocked, and you had this look on your face . . . I think I finally understand that look you gave me."
James smiled slightly. "I was worried. I mean, you guys had had a huge fight, and then you patched everything up in fifteen minutes? It didn't make sense."
Remus nodded. "Well, your fears were well-grounded. We finally worked everything out tonight." He sighed. "I had no idea . . . But it's over now, and we're fine."
"Why aren't you still with her?"
"I wanted to see how you guys were holding up. Where is everyone, anyway?"
"Lily went to her parents' house. She wanted to make sure that they're all right. I told her that someone would have come to find her if anything happened, but she said she had to see for herself."
Remus nodded. "I guess I can understand that."
"Yeah, I suppose. She's a little paranoid," he grinned. "Don't tell her I said so."
"I won't," Remus laughed. "What about Sirius and Olivia? Where are they?"
"At the girls' flat. When Lily and I left, Sirius and Olivia were practically on their way to the bedroom."
Remus raised his eyebrows. "Bit of an awkward situation for you and Lily?"
"That's an understatement!" James laughed.
"And Peter?"
"He went home when we left Headquarters. He didn't come back with us at all. He said he wanted to check on his parents, and to let them know that he was all right. He figured they'd be panicked since they knew that he was supposed to be in Diagon Alley tonight."
"I should owl my parents," Remus mused. "I don't know if they'll have heard that anything happened yet, but I want to tell them that I'm fine.
"You can borrow Owl," James offered. "My parents will already know that I wasn't involved."
Remus nodded, and got up to write his letter. He had just sent Owl off when Sirius Apparated into the kitchen.
"Hey!" he called cheerfully, entering the sitting room. "How's everyone doing?"
"You're chipper," James commented, giving Remus a knowing look. Remus laughed.
Sirius watched the looks that passed between his friends, and grinned. "Guilty as charged."
James shook his head. "Bit of a depressing time for that, wasn't it?"
"Well, we had to cheer ourselves up, didn't we?"
Remus shook his head, and sat down. "Laura and I are fine, thanks for asking."
"Well, Prongs was determined to learn about my activities for the last few hours, so I haven't exactly had a chance to ask."
"Oh, sure, blame me! It's always my fault!"
Sirius laughed, then calmed down. "I knew you guys would be able to work it out. You have a strong relationship."
"No, we didn't," Remus replied. "But we do now."
Sirius nodded. "Good for you, Moony. I'm proud of you for seeing this through, and for working out your problems."
Remus grinned. "Thanks, Padfoot."
James cleared his throat. "Can I ask you guys a favor?"
"Sure."
"Anything, mate."
James grinned. "Well, I had some time alone to think, and I've made a decision."
"What's that?"
"I want to ask Lily to marry me."
For fifteen full seconds, Sirius and Remus stared at James in shock. When the fifteen seconds were up, they both jumped out of their seats, shouting their congratulations.
"How did you come to this decision?" Sirius exclaimed. "I mean, I know you two are really close, and really in love, but . . .?"
"Well, we came back here tonight, and we started talking about everything. Lily told me that Dana's dad was Muggle-born. She's really scared that she'll be one of Voldemort's targets, since she's Muggle-born, too. She said that she isn't afraid to die, but she's afraid to leave me. She said something that made me realize – I can't imagine every living without her. I can't imagine loving anyone but her. She said that she can't stand the idea of living without me. I know exactly what she means, because I can't stand the idea of living without HER." He smiled. "I love her, guys. She's it for me. I want to marry her. I want to be with her for the rest of my life."
Sirius and Remus looked at him solemnly. "You're sure?" Sirius asked. "This isn't a decision you can take back, James."
"I'm sure," James nodded. "Which brings me to the favor. Will you guys go ring shopping with me?"
"Absolutely!" Sirius exclaimed.
"Definitely," Remus grinned.
"Good," James said, obviously relieved. "Is tomorrow all right?"
"Perfect."
***
"Are you sure she'll like it?"
"If we didn't think she'd like it, would we have let you spend all your savings on it?"
"Fair point."
It had been a week since James had made the decision to propose to Lily. He, Sirius, and Remus had shopped all over Diagon Alley, Hogsmeade, and London, searching for the perfect ring for Lily. They had finally selected a circle cut diamond that was large enough to be impressive but small enough to be within James' budget. As soon as he had bought it, James owled Lily, asking for a date. He had everything planned. It was going to be a perfect evening.
"So you're meeting in Hogsmeade?" Sirius asked.
James nodded. "She said she was going early to visit Laura. I'm going to pick her up at Laura's flat."
Remus grinned. "Thank goodness I didn't tell Laura what's going on. I don't think she'd be able to stand not telling Lily."
"Yeah, I had the same thoughts about Liv," Sirius grinned.
"Really, I don't know how you guys have kept it quiet," James laughed. "I think you're more excited than I am!"
"That isn't possible," Sirius replied.
"Your whole plan is incredible," Remus said with an encouraging smile. "You guys are going to have a great night, and Sirius and I want to help you with that."
"What do you mean?" James asked, frowning slightly.
Sirius grinned. "Well – just in case you want to bring Lily back here tonight, we're going to make ourselves scarce. I'm going to spend the night at the girls' flat."
"And I'm spending the night with Laura," Remus added.
James' jaw dropped. "What?"
"We want to make sure that everything is perfect," Sirius grinned. "We're going to give you guys some time alone to celebrate your engagement."
A slightly worried look came into James' eyes. "Guys . . . What if she says no?"
Sirius and Remus exchanged a glance that clearly said that James was crazy. However, looking at their friend again, they realized that this was a very real concern for him. Sirius clapped his hand down on James' shoulder.
"Do you remember back when I used to tell you that it was hopeless – that Lily would never like you?"
James laughed. "How could I forget? You said it repeatedly for over six years!"
Sirius smiled. "Yeah, well, I was wrong. Lily loves you, mate, and she's going to say yes. There's no way she'll turn you down."
James swallowed. "I hope you're right."
"He is," Remus said with a simple confidence. "We've seen the way she looks at you. It's the same way you look at her. You guys are completely a part of one another – you're the most important thing in each other's lives. She's going to say yes, Prongs. There's no chance she'll turn you down."
James smiled weakly. "Thanks, guys. For everything. You've been great, and I don't know how I would have made it through the last week – no, the last seven years – without you."
Sirius and Remus both grinned. Words seemed inadequate.
***
James Apparated to the street just outside Laura's flat, and walked up to knock on the door. For some reason, he felt it would be inappropriate to just appear inside. The weight of the ring in his pocket smacked against his leg as he walked. He felt a jitter of nerves as he knocked on the door. What if -?
Laura answered his knock, her face lit with a smile. "Right on time!" she laughed. "I thought you'd be late."
"When am I late to meet Lily?" James grinned.
"Well . . . I guess I hoped you be late. I hardly ever get to see Lily, and I wanted some more time with her."
"That's your own fault!" Lily laughed as she joined them. "We practically begged you to move in with us, but you refused."
"I know," Laura smiled. "Most of the time I'm happy to be alone, but I've really enjoyed having you over today." She glanced at James. "Do you want to come in, or do you guys have to be off?"
James hesitated. It wasn't that they had reservations, but he really wanted to start the date. Fortunately, Lily saved him from making the decision.
"We should be off," she said. "We'll come by to see you before we go back, as long as it's not too late."
"Oh, yes, do!" Laura exclaimed. "Remus is coming over tonight, so you'll get to see him, too."
Lily's eyes twinkled. "Well, then we'd definitely better go. I'm sure you need plenty of time to primp."
Laura laughed. "I don't know exactly how to take that remark."
Lily laughed with her. "We'll see you later, Laura."
"Bye," James grinned. "Tell Remus hello."
"Didn't you just see him about ten minutes ago?"
"That's hardly the point," James laughed.
Laura shook her head, and waved her hand. "Go! Go on your date! I'll see you both later!"
James took Lily's hand, and steered her out of the house. They were both still laughing as they reached the street.
"Where are we going?" Lily asked.
"I thought you liked surprises," James teased.
"I do – but I thought the surprises would be over by now."
"No way, little girl. There will be plenty of surprises tonight."
Lily smiled. "Well, then I guess I'll have to be patient."
"Yes, you will." James led her through the streets of Hogsmeade, stopping in front of Honeyduke's. "Shall we go inside?"
Lily looked at him with raised eyebrows. "We're going to Honeyduke's?"
"Sure. I thought you liked chocolate!"
"Oh, you know I do, it's just – a bit odd."
James grinned. "Come on. Let's go inside. I want to buy you something chocolatey."
Lily looked at him oddly. She was sure he had said something like that to her before, but she couldn't remember when. "All right," she said, still confused.
"What would you like?" James asked. He walked over to a chocolate display, and picked up a box. "These are your favorite, aren't they?"
"Yes, but you already knew that."
"Well, I guess I can skip calling it a lucky guess then. Why don't you pick something?"
Lily fell into the spirit of the game, and wandered around the store, trying to decide what she wanted to buy. James followed her through the aisles, making suggestions. She finally managed to select a box of candy, which James promptly offered to buy for her. As they stood at the counter, Lily looked at him again.
"You know, I have the oddest sense of déjà vu right now."
"Really?" James asked, pretending to be surprised.
"Yes," she said slowly. "I'm not quite sure why, though."
James grinned. "I can't think of any reason. Every other time I've been in this store, it was full of Hogwarts students."
Lily smiled. "Yeah, I guess you're right."
James paid for the candy, and led her outside. "Right. Anywhere you'd like to go next?"
"I thought you had everything planned out."
"True. Let's walk around for a bit, shall we?"
"All right," Lily smiled. She reached down to take his hand. "It's nice, spending time together like this. We don't get to do it nearly often enough."
"My thoughts exactly," James replied, lifting her hand to his lips.
She smiled. "I've missed you," she said softly.
"I've missed you, too," James said, his own voice quiet. "I feel like we hardly ever get to see one another anymore."
"That's because we don't," Lily replied. "All we do is work and train for the Order."
"Oh, be fair. We've only had one training session since the first . . ." He trailed off, and glanced sideways at her. "Lil, how's Dana doing?"
Lily sighed. "She's all right, I guess. She's been spending a lot of time with her mum, and with Aidan. He's helped her immensely." She bit her bottom lip.
"You're still worried, aren't you?"
"About Dana?"
"Yes," James said slowly. "And about her dad being Muggle-born."
"Yeah, I am worried about it," Lily replied softly. "I haven't had time to start looking into it at work yet, but I will as soon as this interview with Ludo Bagman is over."
"When is that?" James asked, his eyes lighting up.
"Next week," Lily laughed. "It's all that Olivia will talk about. She keeps trying to get me to let her come."
"Sirius isn't good enough for her anymore?" James laughed.
"In Liv's world, everyone pales in comparison to an international Quidditch star."
"Everyone does in most people's worlds."
"Are you trying to tell me that you have a secret crush on Ludo Bagman?"
James gave her a teasing smile. "Maybe. How would that make you feel?"
"A bit used," Lily laughed. "And now that I know that, I certainly won't get you that autograph that you so desperately wanted!"
James laughed. "Ouch! That was harsh!"
"Yeah, well, I'm not going to share you with Ludo."
"You won't have to. You don't have to worry about sharing me with anyone."
Lily smiled. "Good. I don't want to."
"So possessive," James grinned.
"Well, when you're dating one of Hogwarts' most-wanted bachelors, you tend to be possessive," Lily laughed. She looked around, then turned to James, her eyebrows rising. "Where are we?"
"Hogsmeade," James replied at once.
"Yes, I'm aware of that," she said a bit sarcastically. "I mean, where in Hogsmeade are we? Are we lost?"
"No, not at all. I know exactly where we are." He turned a corner, revealing the Three Broomsticks. "See? I thought we could stop here for dinner."
Lily looked at him with a curious expression. "James – I know we've done this before. Are we – did you – is this our first date all over again?"
James grinned nervously. "Yeah, it is."
"Really?" Lily's face relaxed into a delighted smile. "You went to all the trouble to recreate our first date?"
"It wasn't a lot of trouble, Lil," James laughed. "I mean, our first date included Honeyduke's, the Three Broomsticks, and wandering around the village."
"But still – you remembered all that?"
"I could never forget," James said in a low voice. "Could you?"
Lily stood on tiptoe to kiss him in reply. James smiled against her lips.
"I guess it was a good idea, then?"
"The best," she whispered. "I can't believe you did this. I love you, James."
"I love you," James whispered. He kissed her again. "Do you want to go inside?"
"Yeah, I'm starving."
James laughed, and took her hand. "Come on. I'm sure Madam Rosmerta will have a table open for us."
Madam Rosmerta was thrilled to see them again. She asked about what they were doing with their lives, and about all their friends. She was duly impressed with their careers. She stayed to chat while they ate. Before they had finished, business picked up, and she had to wait on other tables.
Left alone, James and Lily fell into silence. It wasn't awkward, or even slightly uncomfortable. They found themselves staring into each other's eyes, almost as though they were looking into one another's souls. Unconsciously, their hands drifted together on top of the table.
"You tell those other boys that they had better get in here to see me." Madam Rosmerta reappeared, breaking the spell.
James dragged his eyes away from Lily's, but didn't release her hand. "I will," he said. His voice a little hoarse, almost as though he had been caught snogging her at the table.
Madam Rosmerta smiled fondly. "I've really missed having you boys in here. None of the new third years can compare with you."
James smiled. "Well, I'm sure someone will come along someday."
"Let's hope not," she replied, squeezing his shoulder. "I don't know if Hogwarts could handle more students like the four of you."
"I'm not sure if that's a compliment or an insult."
"Take it however you want," she laughed. "Here's your check."
"Ah, come on, now," James laughed. "You were so excited to see me, but you're still going to charge me?"
"I don't give freebies, James," she laughed.
James shook his head, and handed over the money to pay for their meal. "Well, Lil, are you ready to go?"
"Sure," she replied. "Where are we going next?"
"I thought maybe we could walk around the park."
"That sounds lovely."
James took her hand, and led her to the park. He had discussed it with Sirius and Remus, and they had agreed that this would be the perfect place for his proposal. He glanced up at the sky. It was after dusk, and stars were beginning to shine. He noted that there wouldn't be a moon to light the sky, a fact for which Remus was grateful.
Lily moved closer to him, and he looked away from the sky. His eyes fell on her face, and he grinned.
"I love you," he said spontaneously.
Lily looked up at him in confusion. "I love you, too, James."
"I'm sorry. It was just . . . I . . ." He trailed into silence, and smiled helplessly. "Let's go sit over here, shall we?"
Lily nodded, and walked with him to a bench. They sat down, and he looked at her. He had to do this. Sirius and Remus were right. She would say yes. She had just told him that she loved him. She wouldn't turn him down. He swallowed nervously.
"Lil, you know that I love you," he began, taking her hand in his. "And my feelings are never going to change. I don't just love you for now – I'll love you forever. I want to know that you're going to be with me for the rest of my life. I want to have dinner with you every day, fall asleep next to you every night, and wake up with you every morning. I want to fight over who gets the shower first, to play evens and odds to see who has to clean up after meals, and to debate where we're going for our next holiday."
As he spoke, tears began to gather in Lily's eyes. "James," she whispered.
"No, let me finish," he said, feeling tears sting his own eyes. "I know that we're way too young for this, Lil, but we have to live like there's no tomorrow. Lily, I love you, and I want to be with you forever. Will you please marry me?"
Tears slipped from Lily's eyes, and spilled down her cheeks. "Yes," she whispered. "Yes, James, I'll marry you."
Eyes shining with tears, James reached into his pocket, and pulled out a box. He opened it, and held it for Lily. She gasped, her hands flying to her mouth.
"Oh, James! It's too much!"
"Nothing's too much for you," James grinned. He pulled the ring from its box, and held it between his first finger and thumb. "May I?"
"Please," she whispered, holding out her hand.
James slid the ring over her finger, feeling his own tears begin to fall. Lily looked down at the ring for a moment, then back up at him. She threw herself into his arms, holding him tightly.
"I love you, James."
"I love you, too," he whispered. He pulled back enough to kiss her.
Lily pulled away from his kiss, and looked at him, an ecstatic smile on her face. "We're getting married!"
"Yeah, we are," James grinned. "We're getting married!"
"We have to tell our families, and our friends, and . . ." She looked at him for a moment. "The guys already know, don't they?"
"Yeah, they do," James admitted sheepishly. "Who do you think helped me pick out that ring?"
"How long have you been planning this?"
"About a week."
Lily shook her head. "I don't know how I didn't find out."
"Only Sirius, Remus, and Peter knew, and they swore not to tell anyone. Sirius and Remus have helped me plan everything, but we had to owl Peter to let him know, too. So, they've all been in on it."
Lily shook her head again, and kissed him again. "You're amazing."
James smiled, holding her close. "Do you want to go tell your parents?"
"Not right now," Lily replied, burying her face in his chest. "I want to be alone for awhile first."
"Do you want to go back to my place?"
"You want to be alone with Sirius and Remus?"
"Remus is staying with Laura tonight, and Sirius is staying at your place."
"You guys really did plan this!" A slightly nervous expression crossed her face.
"Actually, they planned that part. They thought we might want to be alone for awhile." He looked at her, his expression completely serious. "I'm not asking you for anything, or pushing you into anything, Lily. We can just talk, or whatever you want. You're in charge."
She kissed him again. When she pulled back and looked at him, the nerves had been replaced with love for him. "I don't want to just talk," she whispered. "Can we go now?"
"Yeah," James said, his voice raspy again. "Yeah, let's go now."