Chapter 2 – Welcome to Ruggsville, 1978
I woke up lying on the side of a road, my face in the dry dirt. I got wide awake in two seconds, jumping to my feet with excitement. Am I in the right place? I wondered, tapping the dust off of my clothes. Looking around, that place didn't look any different from California. I began walking along the road, carrying only a small backpack. The sun had just set when I awoke, and it was getting darker by the second.
In twenty minutes I stopped in front of a sign. With a big grin, I knew that I was in the right place. The sign had an arrow pointing to the direction I was going, and it read "Fried chicken and gasoline."
Soon enough, there I was – standing like an idiot in front of Captain Spaulding's gas station and horror museum. All of a sudden, I wasn't sure if I had the guts to go in there. I hesitated. Now only clowns in general gave me the creeps, that one clown in particular frightened me more, and for a good reason. I saw his scrapbook in Rejects, he was a killer too – although I doubted that killing was his main hobby, as Otis and Baby.
What if he murders me? I thought, my stomach starting to hurt from nervousness. What if he forces me into that creepy murder ride and guts me like a pig, all the while laughing loud and showing his rotten teeth? What if he rapes me? The memory of his sex scenes in Rejects crossed my mind. Hell no! That very disturbing idea seemed so much worse than being gutted alive.
I'll be fine, I assured myself, trying calm down my fast breathing. I'll just have a casual chatting with the Captain, smile a lot and play dumb, get him to draw me a map to the House and get the hell out of there.
When I was more or less calm, I assumed a confident attitude and walked in there.
The famous Museum of Monsters and Madmen was empty, and it could have used a brighter lamp or two. No one was behind the counter, so I took my time to look around. Rob Zombie didn't get it quite right on the movie, but the idea was the same – a large display of weird and shocking objects, most of which I didn't dare to give a second glance, or wonder where they came from. In the back of my mind I knew that a lot of it was Otis' "artwork", but I kept in denial not to lose my cool. I could leave panicking and being grossed out for later.
Approaching the counter, I barely rang the bell when a large figure jumped up as fast as a spring, screaming a cheerful "HAAA!" while I did my own jumping and screaming.
"Ha ha ha ha ha ha! I scared the living guacamole out of you!"
What a clown, that Cutter.
I forced a little "ha ha ha", studying him for a moment. He was wearing thorn, stained jeans and a very old, dirty t-shirt saying "Sometimes I pee when I laugh." And when I saw that face in white, black, pink and blue makeup, I stared. "Gosh, you do look a bit like Sid" I said without thinking.
"Poor bastard!" he exclaimed, much louder than necessary. "Who's this Sid? He your boyfriend?"
Fuck, I thought. Think before you speak, you idiot! "No" I smiled, "Sid... Johnson, he is my neighbor, and he looks just a tiny bit like you. Not much. I'm Laura, by the way." I reached my hand for him to shake, but instead he splashed some water on my face, pressing a button on a little clown head that was handy.
"Ya ya ya ya ya ya ya!" He teased annoyingly, while I forced another smile. "What can I do for you, Laura? Need some gas, some maps, or maybe some of my tasty fried chicken?"
"Actually, I'll be traveling around this area for a few days, so I'm just kind of exploring the place." Yeah, right, as if there is much to explore in that middle-of-nowhere town.
"I see" he said, studying me. "How do you like my museum?" He made an ample gesture with his arm, encompassing the room. "I've been collecting these pieces for too many years."
I followed his gesture, and my eyes caught on something that I wasn't prepared to see. "Fish-Boy," I murmured to myself, in shock.
"What did you say?" the clown looked at me suspiciously.
"That's called Fish-Boy, isn't it?" I tried to sound animated. "I've heard about it, it's quite a piece! Someone told me about it on the grocery store, uh, the one a few blocks from here. Plus, it's kind of obvious – half a fish, half a, uh, boy, right? Imitating it, of course!" I laughed. Then I urged myself to stop blabbering like a first-time criminal trying to deny his guilt in a police interrogation. "Yup, great piece."
"Hey, I bet ya would love riding my Murder Ride. Come on, let me take you there-"
"No thanks!" I said too quickly, because he was already walking away from the counter. "I mean, I would love to, but it's been such a long day and I'm tired. I – I'll come back another day."
Looking disappointed, he suggested "Okay then, but I won't let you leave this place without trying some of the best fried chicken in the whole state!" And saying that, he reached behind the counter and produced a greasy, brown bag that he offered me. I grabbed it and looked at it, trying to hide my disgust, but he wasn't going to cut me a slack. "Come on, give it a bite!"
I reached inside the bag and my fingers touched this oily, warm skin. I took it out – a chicken leg. It was hard not to show revulsion, considering the dirty cook standing in front of me, not to mention the preserved dead things all over the museum. Lord knows what I had in my hands. But the last thing I wanted was to offend a psychopath murderer clown, so I put that thing in my mouth and took a bite.
"What do you think? Do I or don't I make the tastiest fried chicken you ever ate?" he challenged confidently.
"You actually do!" I exclaimed with deep relief. The damn thing did taste good.
As I was finishing it, I bent over the counter, in a just-between-us attitude. "You know... I have heard something else about this town, something very interesting."
"Oh you did? Well, shit the bed! What else did you hear about this peaceful town of ours?"
"I've heard" I said, keeping my voice low and my adrenaline high, throwing the bone in a small trash can and wiping my fingers on the brown bag "about the legend of Dr. Satan."
He stared into my face with a smile. "You did?" Now it was his turn to bend towards me. "Anything else?"
"Some guys told me about the tree where this Dr. Satan was hung, that it's not far from here. I was just wondering" I managed to say that without having my voice fail, "if you could point me in that direction."
"As a matter of fact, that place is not far at all. But tell me – you said you are traveling? You alone?"
"Yes, I'm by myself, and I should probably get going soon – still need to look for a hotel to spend the night."
The old Captain showed me his nightmarish teeth in a big grin. "Beautiful girl, wandering around all by herself, at night, in a dangerous place like this. That's not right. I'll tell you what. I know some nice people that run a bed and breakfast place around here. The place is not a fucking Hilton, but you'll be comfortable there. You can ask them about the tree the next morning. What do you say?"
I had a pretty good idea which "bed and breakfast place" was that. My stomach turned inside out with fear. But hey, I told myself, wasn't exactly that what you wanted? You couldn't have been luckier, girl! "That sounds great, Captain. If you would draw me a map, I'll be heading to that place right away."
The clown threw some keys up in the air and grabbed them back, walking towards me and placing an arm around my shoulder. "No need for a fucking map, lady. Captain Spaulding here will drive you there himself."