Chapter Two: Sobbing for Conner
Logan trudged into another long day at Malibu High School with his friends, Parker and Conner. The weekend had been fun and they had partied a hell of a lot with their female "counterparts", Zoey, Candace, and Lauren. Logan couldn't say he would have had a better time at any other party besides the one at the Neon. He thanked God that he had been born in the most civilized state out of the fifty, California. Logan was especially glad that he lived in southern Cali; that's where all the magic happens. Logan had lived it up all night on Friday and chatted with tons of hot girls, mostly upcoming actresses and models. That's basically how it went anywhere in SoCal, though. He had chatted up one slender blonde in particular named Maxine. Maxine was hot, and he meant hot. She made him feel great and he could only remember one other girl in his lifetime that had made him feel half as good; that was Lauren. But Lauren was old news now; they were definitely just friends. It was all about Maxine now.
The first thing he noticed about Maxine was her dancing on the bar. She looked so hot, swaying perfectly to the beat. Before he knew it, she was off the bar and he was licking a shot off of her chest. Plus, she seemed like the kind of girl who could be wild with her boyfriend and yet, tame enough to take home to mom. Logan had gotten about six numbers on Friday but he had thrown them all away, all except one. He planned on calling Maxine tonight since he hadn't had a chance to all weekend. He could still see her sparkling sea green eyes, long, straight blonde hair, and her luscious lips- lips made for kissing. Logan was excited about the prospect of mashing those lips against his. Too bad she didn't go to Malibu or he could see her right now. Now, it would have to wait.
Parker nudged him. "Hey, you okay, man? Or are you still thinking about that hot chick that you were all over on Friday night?" Conner looked at Parker and grinned. They gave each other a high five behind Logan's back.
"Dude, I don't blame you for obsessing over her. She was looking fine at the Neon, but not as fine as Lauren looked. Lauren makes my blood boil," Conner paused, "and probably makes the blood boil in half of the male population in Malibu."
Parker put his arm around Conner. "Don't worry, man. I'm sure you two will get back together. It's only a matter of time. Look, now she and that stupid teacher, Ben, are through. She's free. "
"You need to snatch her up while you can, dude, because I can guarantee, a girl that looks like Lauren will not stay single for long," Logan said, adding in his two cents. Parker elbowed him in the ribs.
"What Tweedledee is trying to say here is that you need to go for it. Just make a move. You've done it before. I remember when you guys were together during basketball season; you guys were like the king and queen of this school," Parker said, encouragingly.
"Yeah, just like you and Lauren, and Logan and Lauren were before there was any Lauren and I," Conner said, dejectedly.
"Dude, I don't think you understand. You and Lauren blew up at this school way bigger than any other couple, ever. Everybody loved you guys; you all were practically an institution. Everyone was shocked when you guys broke up. No one could believe it," Logan said.
"Yeah, me neither," Conner said.
Parker patted him on the back. "You'll live, man. Besides, I think your luck is about to change soon. I can feel it."
"Oh man, what I feel right now is that breakfast burrito we stopped to get this morning. I don't think it agreed with my decision to eat it and is now recruiting my stomach acid in a heated uprising against the tyranny," Logan said.
"That's gross, man," Conner said.
"No kidding," Logan said as he ran off to the nurse's office. Parker and Conner started laughing.
"Remind me never to take that boy to Taco Cabana ever again. He clearly can't hold his own," Parker said.
"Yeah, but what he can't hold in beans, he can most definitely hold in alcohol."
"True."
"Yeah."
There was an awkward silence. "Well, I guess I better head off to French. Gotta bone up on my merci's," Parker said.
"Okay, see you later," Conner said. Then he turned around. "Are we still meeting the girls after school for icee's, at Ripa's?"
"Yeah. Hey, how about you get Lauren to drive you in her hot little Ferrari, not that your Lexus isn't nice, but hey, you get a hot girl in this deal," Parker said.
"Will do. But you know that means that you or Logan has to drive Zoey and Candace, in keeping with our two car rule for Ripa's." Ripa's didn't have a lot of parking space so the students that frequented the place, in order to keep business rolling, always tried to carpool with friends. In a city where glitz and glam were everywhere, it was nice to have a little family run Italian ice place to go to for a change. It was the most popular daytime hangout for the students at all the area high schools.
"No problem. Don't worry about it. Even if Logan and I have to kidnap Cands and Zo, we'll fit them in my beemer. Don't sweat it dude," Parker said. "Gotta run."
Conner stared after his buddy and hoped that he had it all together. He really did need time to talk to Lauren alone and he wouldn't get it with her two little leeches hanging onto her every word. Plus, there would be no other guys in Lauren's car, unless she was hiding someone in her trunk- Tarantino style. Of course, that wasn't likely. Conner didn't have anything against Zoey or Candace, but sometimes they could get tiring with all their yapping. Lauren, though, he never tired of her. She could keep talking about anything in the world, but somehow she would make it interesting and relevant to him. He could listen to Lauren talk for hours on end without being bored. It was rare that he found that type of connection with anybody. He wished to God that he hadn't done whatever it was that he apparently did, in order to make Lauren break up with him.
Conner shrugged it off and headed to his first class of the day, Strength Training. He had taken the class as an easy A, and well, it was. He received one full credit for being able to lift weights for an hour and a half. Conner knew to snatch the class up when he saw the opportunity. He looked forward to hanging out with the guys at the begining of each day. There were only two drawbacks that he could see, and they were headed right for him. Conner groaned, inwardly. If Jen Cornell and her twit of a friend hit on him one more time, he would explode. Those girls were way too forward for their own good. Jen would always give him a special look or wink at him. She would find some way to excersise that perfectly displayed her physique; he couldn't say anything bad about it either. Jen was in perfect shape, but he wondered how much of it was liposuction and implants. The cat and mouse games with Jen were getting old and he was getting tired of them. He knew that most of the guys in his class stared at Jen and her friend-Carly, was it?- while they excersised. They were jealous that the two gorgeous girls in the class only had eyes for him, but damn, it sucked. Conner sucked in his breath and waited until Jen and, hmm, Candy, approached. Jen was wearing Lycra shorts that were very short indeed, and about half a top with a very plunging neckline. Conner noticed. How could he not? Jen was just that type of girl. She was practically a carbon copy of Pamela Anderson; some guys went for the blonde, too much makeup, fake tits type of girls, but he didn't. That screamed high maintenance with no forseeable rewards. Some guys would argue that Lauren didn't look that different from Jen, with her long blonde hair and busty figure. They were wrong. It was just different. Lauren's beauty came naturally; she didn't have to work at it and that made all the difference in the world. Conner felt the corners of his mouth pull upward.
"Are you smiling at me? Conner Spinelli, if I didn't know better, I'd say you had a little crush on me. I hope it's not just because the Hottest Girls of Malibu High ranked me so highly. That's practically the dating catalogue around here, but I know that you're not into that. You'd rather judge for yourself. So honestly, Conner, do you like what you see?" Jen asked as she arched her back, thrusting her large chest out.
Conner smiled. "Actually, I'd rather be at a Laker's game in center court, naked, with Candy here, standing on my shoulders and beating me with a baseball bat."
"It's Claire" the ice queen seethed.
"It's okay, Conner. You don't have to play it cool around me. I know you want me but I can wait. I'll wait until you come out of your shell," Jen said as she stroked his chest with her index finger.
"I don't think you get it, Jen," Conner said as he lifted her hand away from him. "I will never think of you that way. I think you're way too fake and conniving. Besides, I'd have to be scared of getting some raging disease if I did anything with you. No thanks. Find another boy toy."
"I don't think you realize the implications of what you've just done. Fine then, Conner. If that's how you want to play it, I would look out for Lauren. She might be involved in a scandal and need you to console her poor, hurting reputation. Everyone knows that you're a pussy and still head over heels for her. I was just too stupid to believe it. Now, I can see that she's still got you pussy-whipped and, the kick of it is, you aren't even together anymore!" With that, she and her drone of a friend twirled on their heels and marched off, probably to torment some other poor bastard.
Conner started lifting some heavy weights to work the stress out of himself. Jesus Christ, it was only first period. Conner worked up a sweat and headed off for a quick shower before the bell rang. He always passed Lauren on her way to English and he didn't want to miss her. She always stopped to chat. As he made his way out of the guys' locker room, into the main hall, he saw her leaving her class. She was talking to some guy. Typical. He was dressed like an East Coast prep school boy to boot. Couldn't she get more girl friends? Lauren spotted him and said goodbye Mr. Prep School. She hurried to Conner's side, her long sun kissed hair flowing behind her. He looked down at her glowing face and felt something glowing inside himself, as well.
"Hey. You look happy. Did you finally do that lab you were waiting for?" Conner asked as he put an arm around her shoulder to lead her out of the way of a group of freshmen who were barreling past.
"Yeah. Oh my god, it was so much fun, Conner. You wouldn't think that finding out what some mystery chemicals are could be so much fun but it was..."
Lauren's voice trailed off in his mind as he thought of cinnamon and apples. She always smelled like apples and cinnamon.
"Are you listening to me, Conner James?" Lauren teased, recognizing his far off look as she tilted her head upward to see his face. Conner blushed and dropped his arm.
"Sorry. I must have zoned out. So, who was the guy you were with?" Conner asked nonchalantly.
"Oh, you must mean Nick. He's a sweetie pie. He was my lab partner today and we got so close. It was so much fun working with him. He kept my attention the whole time and helped me figure things out. It doesn't hurt that he's nice looking, either," she gushed.
"Do you like this Nick guy?" Conner said through tight lips.
Lauren was confused for a minute, but then it clicked. "Oh! Conner, don't obsess. Not that you have a right to anyway, but, well, Nick's gay. Don't tell anyone though. I'm not sure who exactly he's come out to."
Conner tried not to look as relieved as he felt inside, and that was pretty damn relieved. She had just gotten over an infatuation; she didn't need to start another one. He needed time to get her to see him as a possible rekindled flame. He looked down at her, at her petite little frame in his muscular arms. She looked so fragile but he knew she wasn't. Still, it made him burn with a need to kiss her. Right then.
"Alright, this is me," Lauren said when they got to her English class. "I'll see you in the parking lot after school," she said as she stood on her tip toes, grabbed his neck and pulled his head toward hers. She gave him a peck on the forehead. "You're so cute, Conner." With that, Conner watched his ex-girlfriend turn and walk into second period.
The rest of the day dragged on, slowly. Conner couldn't sit still and was constantly moving. In history, he kept bobbing his leg up and down and tapping his pencil on his desk, during a test. He chewed his bottom lip until it became raw and bled a tiny bit. He was antsy as shit and also nervous as hell. He hoped that his and Parker's plan worked. If he could just get Lauren alone on the car ride to Ripa's, then they would have time to talk. Time for small talk. Time for romantic talk. Time for "us" talk.
Conner could hear his mother now. She would tell him to stop being a pussy and just get everything out in the open. He shouldn't beat around the bush. His mom was always on his case but sometimes he had to admit, it came in handy to give him that little extra drive in the pinch. He never would have made it to his middle school basketball tryouts if it weren't for her. He was one of the most nervous little sixth graders trying out. On the day before tryouts were supposed to start, one of the older boys, being a typical pre-teen, had told him that he shouldn't even bother; he'd never be good enough and that he was just a little runt. After school, he had run home crying and stayed in his room. For a couple of hours with his face mashed in a pillow, tears flowed freely down his small cheeks. His shoulders heaved and heaved until he finally fell asleep. About ten minutes before his bedtime, Conner's mom had walked in and gently shook him awake. Her large brown eyes seared into his own own blue ones. He always had looked like his dad. That bastard. The bastard who walked out on a pregnant wife. The bastard who walked out on his son, not even out of the womb. The bastard who had the same light blonde hair and sky blue eyes. The bastard who if nothing else, had given Conner the gift of height, a gift that had served him well.
Conner had found pictures of his dad that his mom still kept in her closet. They had never heard from Craig Spinelli since the day he walked out. Conner wished to God that he had looked like his mom instead of having to cause her pain every time she laid her eyes on him. She worked incredibly hard to make sure that Conner had everything he would need, and more. She had worked her way up from the mailroom at Planetary Systems to right under the three major CEOs. She was smart, witty, and posessed charisma and charm. With these qualities, it wasn't hard at all to move up in the ranks. They had moved from the outskirts of LA to the nice suburbs of high-income Malibu, California. They had plenty of money, more money in fact, than two people needed by far. The only drawbacks were that his mother was never home because she was working all the time. Conner had suggested, even forcefully insisted on a couple of instances, that he could pitch in and get a part-time job. "Nonsense," his mom had said. "Other children your age don't work around here and neither should you. Besides, what would you contribute anyway? A Wendy's salary? Not likely to be a help anyway but thanks son." Conner supposed that on the plus side, he did get to throw an insane amount of parties at his well-to do mansion, surrounded by acres upon acres of land. It didn't hurt that his neighbors were Tom Cruise and Jerry Bruckheimer. Of course, those big names had many houses and didn't spend too much time at any one home. Conner and his mom only had one and a lake house but he was fine with that. He appreciated it, really.
So as his mom stared at him, even at the tender young age of eleven, he knew that she would say whatever was best for him, for that was in her nature. "Conner," she had said, "what's wrong, honey?" Conner had answered by spilling the whole sobbing story. "Aw, baby. It's okay to let other people influence your decisions, but don't let them make up your mind for you. You need to do what feels right to you, not what someone else told you to do. Conner, honey, if you think that you would like to be on the basketball team, then do it. Don't let some silly boy who has nothing better to do than to pick on other kids, tell you what to do. Would you really follow the advice of someone like that?" Then she encircled him in her arms, saying that she would always support him in his endeavors.
The next day after school, Conner had headed straight for the gym and played the best out of all the other boys trying out. It didn't hurt that he was tall for his age, with an athletic and muscular build, even in middle school. The coaches realized his potential and not only did Conner make a starting position on the seventh grade team, he was also given a starting position on the eighth grade team. His coaches pulled a few strings to get him into some eighth grade classes so that it would be legal. From then on, following the transition to high school, Conner had played starting point guard on the Varsity Basketball team. God, he loved his mom so much. If anything happened to her, well, he didn't know just what he'd do.
The bell rang, signaling the end of the school day, and Conner followed the flow of students out to the student parking lot. Luckily, since they were seniors, he and all of his friends had gotten parking spaces close to the school, right next to each other. Lindsey's Ferrari was first, followed by his own Lexus, then Parker's beamer. Zoey's and Candace's Porsches were parked side by side; it figured that they'd have the same car. Finally, on the end of the row, was Logan's Dodge Viper, and it was a very nice looking car if Conner did say so himself. Luckily, Lauren and Parker were the only two of his friends in the parking lot. They were standing by Parker's beamer, affectionately named "The Motel" due to his history of having many lady friends. He waved at his two best friends. God, Lauren looked hot today. Even though he'd already seen her in the outfit, she still took his breath away. She was wearing a white halter top that set off her tanned skin and a short red skirt that showed off nice toned legs. Her blonde hair was down and she looked like a California dream girl. Too bad she wasn't his girl anymore.
Conner remembered when they were together, they would always walk down the hallway and everyone would give them adoring looks. They were set; nothing could break them up, not when everyone knew that they were an institution at Malibu. When he played his basketball games, Lauren would always be supportive and sit with the girlfriends of other players on the team. She would always be the loudest one yelling, to boot. They were an example; girls would ask their boyfriends to be more like Conner and guys would ask their special someone to be more like Lauren. It was kind of funny when you thought about it. What wasn't funny, though, was not having Lauren waiting for him at the locker room entrance, after games. She had always waited patiently and never hesitated to hug him, even though he would be a sweaty beast, and sometimes, not in the best of moods. Yet, she was always there for him. She would never leave him, or so he thought. But that wasn't fair. She wasn't like his dad at all. His dad had left without a reason and never kept in touch. Lauren had broken up with him because he was being a possessive jerk and she still remained a close friend. That said and meant a lot.
Conner shook his head. All that was over now. If he wanted to get Lauren back, he'd have to start clean. It was hard because there was all that goddamn history between them and he didn't think for a minute that there wasn't sexual tension or that she didn't feel it too. In fact, Lauren was causing him sexual tension right now, with her cute little skirt. He shook his head. "Hey, guys. Ready to go to Ripa's? I have to get out of here. This school is stifling me. You wouldn't believe the day I've had," Conner said to Parker and Lauren.
"Really? You didn't say anything about it to me in the hall. What happened?" Lauren asked, with that cute little scrunched up look she got when she was concerned. Conner's heart twisted a tiny fraction more.
"It was nothing. Really. Nevermind," he said.
"Dude, I think I should leave you two alone because I think he wants to tell you, without me in the picture. Why don't you guys head on over to Ripa's, talk on the drive, and I can take Logan, Zoe, and Cands in my beamer," Parker said.
"That's a good idea, St. John," Conner said.
"I don't know if you can fit four people in 'The Motel', though. I'm not sure if Zoey or Candace will like it either," Lauren objected.
"Oh it's been done, honey. Lots more than four people have been packed in this car. Besides, I need to talk to all three of them about a project anyway. So it works out. You take Spinelli, here and I will take the peanut gallery," Parker said smoothly.
"Well, if you're sure," Lauren said hesitantly..
"Yeah, go ahead," Parker said as the three other people in question came walking toward them. Conner shrugged.
"Who's ready for Ripa's?" Zoey yelled. "I'm ready to go. Who's driving? Hey, why don't Candace and I go with Lauren, and you 'men' can go together? Have male bonding time. Shoo."
"Uh, Zoey, I think that Conner and I are going together and you guys are going in Parker's beamer," Lauren said.
"'The Motel'? Are you kidding me? Lauren, come on. You know how many girlfriends he's had and couldn't keep. Do you honestly want me to sit in the backseat of that?" Candace asked.
Conner was surprised. Candace was usually easy-going. Lauren looked uneasy. "Well, if it's that big a problem, then I can just take you too," Lauren said. "It's already been determined that Parker and I are driving."
Conner deflated. Great. There went his chance to talk to Lauren.
Luckily, Conner's best friend was Parker St. John. "Hey, girls, remember that project that we were working on? The one involving hotels and movie production crew?" Parker gave Conner a discreet wink.
Candace and Zoey grudgingly trotted over to the beamer where Logan was standing peacefully. "One of you all can have shot gun, if you want," he said, graciously. Zoey hopped up front. Conner mouthed a 'thank you' to Parker before he hopped in his beamer and drove the girls and Logan away.
"Well, I guess we should go," Conner said as he turned to Lauren. They drove out of the parking lot and rode in silence for a good five minutes.
"Conner, I- -"
"Lauren, do you- -"
"Go ahead, ladies first," Conner said.
"No, you. I didn't have all my thoughts quite together anyway. I would have just ended up blabbing myself into a web of confusion."
Conner laughed. "Okay then." He cleared his throat. "Um, do you remember when we were dating?"
"Okay, that's as awkward a question as they come," Lauren said with a forced laugh.
"I was just wondering what you remembered about it," Conner half mumbled.
"Well," Lauren began. "I remember that we had a good time whenever we where together, no matter what we were doing." She paused before continuing. "I remember that everyone thought we were some kind of wonder couple and could do no wrong and how every couple at school practically tried to clone us. I remember cheering for you at games and hugging you when you were sweaty and smelly. I remember how you would always give me that little half grin when I said something completely stupid. You never wanted to make me feel inferior so you would give me that lopsided smile. I always wanted to grab your face and pull the other corner of your mouth up." She stopped speaking, abruptly.
"Aw, Lauren. I'm so glad that I'm not the only one who remembers how we were together," Conner said. "I've missed you so much. You're the only girl I want to be with. I can't even think about other girls any more. There's just no comparison. It's like trying to compare an apple and a carrot in a contest for which is the better fruit. It's impossible because the carrot, no matter how hard it tries, will never be the fruit. That's how I feel about you."
"You think I'm fruity?" Lauren tried to pass off her discomfort with a laugh.
"No. You know what I'm saying. Don't joke now. I've wanted to say this to you for so long but I've never been able to. Please, let's try this again. I promise it will be different. I'll do whatever I can to make up for whatever I did to you."
Lauren sighed. "Conner, I think you're getting the wrong idea here. I remember us together because those were good times. We were also together for so long that it took me a while to adjust with life without you constantly by my side. But I've done it and we're still good friends. That's the way it should be between us, especially if you can't even recall what went wrong with our relationship the first time around."
Conner sat back in his seat, stunned. Lauren had shot him down. Again. Jesus Christ, what did he have to say to get her to forgive him? "What do I have to say to get you to forgive me?"
"You don't get it. There's nothing to say. There's nothing to do. We're just not meant for each other and that's it. End of story. Period. There's a reason it didn't work out the first time and people don't change, Conner."
"Yes, they do. People change every day. Recovering alcoholics and druggies. Reformed people in prison. If they can do it, I certainly can."
"What makes you think I'm saying you're the one that needs to change in the first place?"
"Now, you're talking in circles, Lauren. I don't understand. All I know is that I want you so bad that it hurts me physically as well as emotionally."
"Well, you can satisfy yourself in other ways."
"That's not what I'm talking about and you know it. That was a cheap shot."
"So now we're keeping score?"
"Lauren--"
"Conner," she cut him off, "we're arguing already. How are we supposed to have a relationship if we can't even talk civilly about having one?"
"This isn't about a future relationship. We were talking about a past one gone wrong. It's only natural."
"No. Don't do this to us. To yourself. There is no future relationship, Conner. Get over it. I am. Do the same. Spare us both the pain," Lauren said.
Conner looked away, out the window, anywhere but at his ex girlfriend.
Lauren started sniffling. Her nose crinkled and then it came gushing forth. She was sobbing and gasping for air. She couldn't breathe. She was wheezing. God, she was wheezing. She was having a goddamn asthma attack on the damn interstate! Conner told her to pull over. She kept on.
"Pull over, damn it! You can't breathe, therefore you can't drive a vehicle! Now pull over!" Conner said with force.
Lauren managed to pull onto the right shoulder and turn off the engine. She was gasping for air and wheezing badly. Conner was scared shitless. He'd only seen her like this one other time, the time when she had come to his house after her mom had died. He fumbled in her purse for her inhaler. Christ, where was that damn inhaler? He found it after spilling the contents of her purse onto the car floor. He placed her hands on her head and told her to stay calm.
"Okay, baby. Take a big breath in and then a big breath out for me. Come on," Conner said as he put the inhaler to her lips. He told her to breathe in as he pressed the trigger, releasing the merciful medicine into her lungs. He repeated the process once more. Her wheezing sounded like it was letting up. Conner pulled her into his arms. He was sobbing uncontrollably. Lauren was still crying, too.
"Oh God. I'm glad you're okay. I was so scared. So scared," Conner said, his big shoulders heaving up and down.
Lauren just hugged him back. She was so grateful that Conner had been there and knew what to do. He was always there to protect her, no matter what. That she couldn't deny. She was sobbing silently. Sobbing for herself, sobbing for what once had been, and sobbing, sobbing for Conner.