Title: Always
Author: Wereleopard
Rating: PG
Email: Crossover Angel/Buffy
Summary: All of Angel and Buffy. A visit from old friends brings up memories and hidden feelings and yes this has got the eppy birthday in it I have just done it my own way.

Disclaimer: The characters in the Angel verse were created by Joss Whedon & David Greenwalt. No infringement is intended, no profit is made I am just poor.
Distribution: FSB if anywhere else please just let me know!

Feedback: Yes please!

Chapter 14

Tears fell from her eyes she didn't want to be alone to see this Spike had not been sent with her this time she hoped he was ok. Cordelia tried to look away from the grotesque scene in front of her but she couldn't, hanging from the wall chained up, beaten and bleeding was Buffy, Xander, Willow, Anya, Giles, Wesley, Fred and Gunn. Blood rolled down the bodies like raindrops on a window and when they finally reached the fingertips the dropped onto the ground and to Cordelia this sound was deafening, she could feel the vomit rising in her throat, she bent her head gulping in deep breath trying to stop the bile from rising, trying to stop the fear, the pain and the lose of seeing those people who had played important parts in her life, but the only one who wasn't there, who played the biggest part of all was Angel. Where was he? Her face paled they couldn't.

"No please don't." She whispered softly her heart begging not to let this be what she thought. "Oh god let me wrong."

"Well, well, well what do we have here?" Said a male sensuous voice, a very familiar voice, and Cordelia knew what the test was going to be and she wasn't sure if she was going to be able to pass it. The sons of bitches did it, one of her truest fears and they made it come true. Anger grabbed at her chest, her eyes flashed angrily.

"Angelus." She choked the words out, her eyes stared at him haunted and alone she knew that she promised but how was she going to stand there and stake the man, the vampire she loved with everything part of her being. Cordelia thought that she could deal with this, she truly did. She had promised her best friend that if he changed she would stake him, but deep down even then she wasn't sure that she would have been strong enough to do it but now, it was Angel, her heart.

"Cordelia." He drawled out her name slowly and sexily as his eyes gazed hungrily at her body.

Cordy's body suddenly went into high alert; she hopped to her feet looking around trying to figure out where she was and of course what she was going to do. Her eyes darted from side to side in panic. She backed away and her back hit a wall, but something appeared in the corner of her eye. Cordy reached down and grabbed the stake just as Angelus pushed against the wall. He body hard and unyielding against hers. He gently cupped her chin in his hands and raised it so he could stare into her eyes.

The vampire's changed to yellow as his face vamped out, his fingers bit into her chin as he forced his lips against hers in a bruising kiss. Cordelia's mind was running a mile a minute she knew that she had to get out of there, she had to stop him. So she did the only thing she thought of she kissed him back hard and parted her lips and he did the same, she ran her tongue over his fangs and let one of them nick her tongue so the blood fell onto his mouth.

Angelus froze as the blood landed on his palate, it was exquisite, and he pulled away and stared deeply into her hazel eyes. Cordelia was falling deeply into those eyes on the face she loved whether it was his deep chocolate brown eyes or his vampire yellow ones it never mattered to her so she did the only thing she could in a situation like this, Cordy raised her leg and kneed him in the genitals and watched him as he grunted in pain and collapsed to his knees. Cordy then kicked him hard in the face and he fell onto his back.

The brunette straddled the vampire and raised the stake in the air above his heart. The yellow eyes stared back at her and they changed into the heartbreaking beautiful brown ones that look into forever.

His brows furrowed together. "Cordy?" He whispered confusion in his voice.

Cordy paused unsure what to do but something didn't seem right, she saw something in his eyes and with one quick movement the stake came down.

"I love you." His whispered as he turned into a pile of dust and vanished beneath her.

She sobbed the tears came from her eyes like the Niagara Falls, the pain inside her chest was excruciating, and Cordy could hardly breath. She couldn't believe it she had killed him. The brunette curled up into the fetal position and rocked herself backwards and forwards.

The next thing a pair of strong arms pulled her up and wrapped them around her, she looked up and saw Spike, his face full of worry.

"I killed him, I killed Angel." She wept all she wanted to do was to hide away in the dark.

Spike looked up at skip and growled how could they put her through this, it was bad enough watching Buffy die but he couldn't imagine what it would be like to actually do that final blow.

"Cordelia you didn't kill Angel, you killed Angelus." Skip told her.

She looked at him her eyes blazing. "They are both part of the same person the manpire I love, I did it because I made a promise to him and I know that his soul would be in torment for all of eternity if Angelus went around slaughtering people."

"I'm sorry Cordelia, you did pass the test. You saved innocents over that of your heart, of your happiness." Skip mumbled.

"Oh joy I just watch the man I love turn to dust but hey guess what I passed the test yippee." Her voice dripping with sarcasm.

"It is time for your third and final test Cordelia." The demon said but not looking at her.

Spike stood and reached out her hand. "Shall we?"

Cordelia gripped his hand tightly. "Let's get this party started."

Angel sat holding Cordelia's hand he was like a statue he hadn't moved but things were beginning to worry him her heart beat had sped up, her breathing increased as well, but the main thing was that tears were falling from her eyes, wherever she was she was said and crying.

He was sure that he had heard her whisper that she loved him; maybe that was wishful thinking on his part.

Buffy came to the room and opened the door slowly just in time to see Angel reach over and wipe tears away from her eyes, and as soon as he sensed her he turned around and the slayers heart skipped a beat, his eyes were so lost and yet so full of love all for the woman's hand he was holding so tightly afraid that he would be lost if he let go.

It really hit the blonde then that Angel was truly over her, he had found his soul mate and they all had to pray that she would come back to him.

He watched Buffy leave and then he turned back to Cordelia.

"What the…" He growled as he saw Spike's and Cordelia's hands entwined. He wanted her back and he wanted her back NOW!

Jealousy ate at him, Spike was helping her through something, and it should be him. Cordelia was his seer, his best friend, his everything and all he could do was sit here and wait to see what was going to happen, to see if she would even wake up again. All he wanted was to see her smile, to see the world become a brighter place because of it, even her call him a dork, broody boy, hell he even would accept her calling him a eunuch.

If only he could prove to her that he wasn't, that he could take her to heights of pleasure she had never known, but he knew, everyone knew that she was the one that would give him perfect happiness, sometimes without sleeping with her he was almost there everyday he fought the temptation, he was afraid all the time that Angelus would appear. He'd always walked a very thin line ever since he had met and fallen in love with Buffy, but now that line had gotten thinner and thinner and Angel knew that one wrong step and he would fall but he couldn't go away, he couldn't leave her. It had broken her and him he could never do it to them again. She was his life.

Spike and Cordelia arrived at their next destination and the blonde vampires hand gripped hers tightly.

Skip stood and looked at the view in front of them. "It is your choice Cordelia? What are you going to do?"

TBC