Fellowship of the Pants
Disclaimer: I don't own the lines in italics; those I copied almost word for word from the script. I did change a lot; I still don't own them. Please don't sue me! For the rest of the disclaimer, see Chapter 1.
A/N: The italics are Galadriel's narration from the movie, slightly altered. Some other lines are taken from the pants game.
Chapter 2: The Fate of the Pants
One by one, the free lands of Middle-Earth fell to the stink of the Pants. But there were some who resisted. A last alliance of Men and Elves marched against the armies of Nocleen, and in the parking lot of Sauing's Dry Cleaning Service they fought for the freedom and clean air of Middle-Earth.
Victory was near. But the smell of the Pants could not be overcome.
Sauing had slain many Elves and Men, including King Elendil, before he came to Isildur.
It was in this moment when all hope had faded, that Isildur, son of the King, took up his father's canteen.
Isildur grabbed the cap of Watrjug, but Sauing stomped on it, denting the side and spilling most of the contents. With a desperate attempt, Isildur let out a cry and sloshed Sauing's Pants with the remaining water in Watrjug, washing off some of the dirt and grime. Sauing let out a cry. "My Pants, my beautiful Pants! They've been washed and not dry cleaned!" He sank to his knees and sobbed before he imploded, sending a shockwave throughout the battlefield thatknocked the warriors off their feet. His armour and pants fell to the ground, his body gone.
Sauing, the enemy of the free-peoples of Middle-Earth, was defeated. The Pants passed to Isildur, who had this one chance to destroy evil forever.
Isildur lifted the Pants from their armour prison.
But the hearts of men are easily corrupted. And the Pants of Power have a will of their own.
Isildur was riding trough the forest with a group of warriors when they were ambushed by orcs.
They betrayed Isildur to his death…
Isildur fell into the river, dead, with a sword gash opening his chest. The Pants came off him and floated down the river.
And some things that should not have been forgotten were lost.
History became legend, legend became myth and for two and a half thousand years, the Pants passed out of all knowledge. Until, when chance came, they ensnared a new bearer.
The Pants came to the creature Gollum, who put them on and wore them deep into the tunnels of the Misty Mountains. And there, they consumed him.
Gollum had a cold at the time he got the Pants. As his sense of smell slowly returned, the stench drove him mad to the point where he talked to himself, sometimes softly chanting."They came to me, my own, my love, my own, my prrrecioussssss panttsssss!"
The Pants brought to Gollum unnatural long life. For five hundred years they poisoned his sinuses and his mind. And in the gloom of Gollum's cave, they waited. Darkness crept back into the forests of the world. Rumour grew of a shadow in the east, whispers of a nameless fear, and the Pants of Power perceived. Their time had now come.
They abandoned Gollum.
But something happened then the Pants did not intend. They were picked up by the most unlikely creature imaginable.
A Hobbit: Bilbo Baggins of the Shire.
Gollum was stricken by Bilbo's unwitting theft. "Lossssst! My precious pantsss is lost!"
Bilbo, alarmed, put the Pants on over his others and ran.
For the time will soon come when Hobbits will shape the pants of all...
So, you like? Review! Please?
SmaryK: Yeah, I hope it will be... thanks for reviewing!
randomrohanfreek: Thank you! Don't worry, I will. ;-)