I stared out the window, watching the raindrops splatter against the hard surface. In the background I could hear the teacher lecture on but his words were just a soft murmur. I just continued to stare out the window, watching the rain pound the cold glass. Through the transparent haze that coated the window I watched the flashbacks of this morning play before me. I watched my mother yelling at my father for hoarse playing with me while he should have been doing the dishes from last night. I watched my mother slap a very scared little girl over and over, ignoring the screaming pleas that tumbled out of her daughter's lips. Her voice was like a song that I couldn't get out of my head. I tried blocking her out by focusing just on the teacher's voice but it didn't work. She just kept coming back.
"Miss. Rodriguez!"
I snapped out of my daydream and looked up to see my teacher, Mr. Crawford towering over me. I leaned up in my seat and glanced around, noticing that all eyes were on me. My best friend, Mia Toretto, was staring at me with sad eyes. She knew something was bothering me from the minute I walked into school but I just shrugged her off and coldly told her to piss off. I think I hurt her feelings but Mia never held grudges. She was just like that. I could go off on that girl and mean every single word and she would still approach me the next day with a big smile on her face pretending like yesterday was just a dream. I love that girl to death.
"Miss. Rodriguez!"
I rolled my eyes and looked up at him, placing a fake smile on my lips. "What?"
Mr. Crawford didn't tolerate daydreaming in his class and so I knew I was in either for a long lecture of how important school is and how he would be more than happy to fail me now or a full hour of playing the role of the 'stupid-student-who-gets-to-stand-there-and-get-humilaited-in-front-of-everyone-while-he-throws-equation-after-equation-around', in which I get every single one wrong.
"Now that you've been kind enough to give me your full attention…" God, he was such a prick. "Would you mind going up to the board and solving the problem I have set up for you?"
I looked past him and to the board, looking the problem over. I was terrible at math no matter how easy it is. I could do basic math…you know, the stuff we learned in Primary school, but from long division and up, I sucked. I chuckled nervously and looked back over to Mr. Crawford, cocking my head to the side.
"Actually, you know what? I do mind."
Several students broke out laughing while some just gasped in awe. I was the only one who back-talked to Mr. Crawford, got punished for it, and still came back the next day to back talk some more. All the other back-talkers stopped when they had to serve a 2 -hour detention cleaning the bathrooms and locker rooms. Shoot, I saw detention as an opportunity to not be home near my mother. It's pretty twisted, isn't it? Usually it's the father you hear about being abusive but that wasn't my case. My case was my mom. She just sat around while my father worked his ass off to support my 3 brothers and me. She only hit me though because she knew if she laid a hand on my 3 brothers, they'd just hit her back. They knew she hit me but they didn't do anything to stop her. They just turned their backs on me and ignored my cries for help. I hate them but seriously, can you blame me?
Mr. Crawford cleared his throat, snapping me back to reality. Did this guy ever quit?
"Yeah?" I asked trying to sound surprised that he was still there.
"Solve the problem, Miss. Rodriguez."
"No thank you." I looked down at my notebook and scribbled random shapes among my notes. Mr. Crawford grabbed my pen and slammed it down on my book. I glared back up at him, ready to go off on him.
"I didn't ask you. I'm telling you." He glared down at me and sidestepped to the left so I could go up to the board.
I was getting mad now so I slowly stood up, pulling my light and dark gray camouflaged pants further up on my hips, before folding my arms across my chest. I wasn't going to solve that problem. I wasn't going to humiliate myself in front of the class.
"I'm sorry. Let me rephrase for you. No!"
Mr. Crawford jerked out his arm and pointed towards the door. "Go to the office now! I will not tolerate your back talking."
I picked up my books and took a quick glance over at Mia who smiled weakly at me. She never got tired of me getting kicked out of class. She was so use to it by now that it almost became the highlight of her day. I made my way out of the classroom and down the hall, muttering softly under my breath the entire time.
I walked in and took a seat while the secretary informed the principal that I was there. It didn't take long for him to come see me…he was use to me stopping by. Unknown to the teachers, Mr. Lucas was actually pretty nice to me. He didn't lecture me about my behavior. He just sat there and listened to me explain myself.
Mr. Lucas stepped out of his office and motioned me inside. I got up and walked inside, setting my books down on his desk and then took a seat in the padded chair before him. I reached out and grabbed a peppermint from his candy jar at the edge of his desk, popping it into my mouth.
That was another thing I liked about Mr. L. He let me help myself to his candy jar and every now and then he'd buy me a soda and let me drink it before I had to go back to class. That was his secret with the students. That's what made him a better 'teacher' than the rest of the faculty. He knew that in order to get respect from the students, he had to give them respect back. He treated us like we were adults. He didn't look at us like we were stupid obnoxious teenagers.
I sucked softly on the peppermint as we sat there in silence looking at each other. He was waiting for me to speak first. I always spoke first. I let out a long sigh and shrugged my shoulders and then I spoke up knowing he was waiting for me to tell him which teacher sent me down here.
"Mr. Crawford."
He smiled and let out a low chuckle. Mr. Crawford always vented to Mr. L about me and I always vented to Mr. L about Mr. Crawford. Ironic, huh?
"He asked me if I wanted to do the problem up on the board. I said no. He acts like he expects me to say yes or something." I shrugged again and bit into my peppermint, letting the soft muffled crunch sound out.
Mr. Lucas leaned back in his chair and sighed softly. Finally he spoke up.
"You can't be afraid to try math equations, Letty. I know math isn't your thing; it's not my thing either but that doesn't mean that you shouldn't try at it."
"He makes me take the hardest ones. He just hates me."
Mr. Lucas laughed and leaned forward, folding his hands together and rested them on his desk. "Ah yes. I love that scenario: Teacher gives me the hardest time because he hates me. He thinks I'm the spawn of Satan. Why, he gave me an F on my essay all because he doesn't like me."
I rolled my eyes and scoffed. I knew it was a stupid excuse but it was a true stupid excuse. Mr. Crawford hated my guts just as much as I hated his.
"You know if you could just transfer me over to Mrs. Keys…"
"No."
"I promise I'll try at math. I can't work with Mr. Crawford he's—"
"No."
"Dammit." I leaned back in my chair, sighing in defeat. I sat there in silence for a minute before standing up and gathering my things.
"Detention this Saturday; be here by 8. See you later, Mr. L." I said, knowing the routine all too well.
"Take care, Miss. Rodriguez."
The bell rang out just as I walked out of the office. I was happy to know that I didn't have to go back to his class and face him. I walked down the crowded hallway, heading for my locker. Mia was already kneeling before hers, switching books. I opened up my locker and slid in my books, getting out my next hour's materials.
"You okay?" Mia asked as she stood up, closing her locker shut and locking it back up. I nodded, feeling guilty for shrugging her off this morning. I closed and locked my locker and then walked off down the hall with her right at my side.
"Well, are you going to tell me what's wrong?"
I shrugged my shoulders but immediately regretted it. Mia was my best friend and I told her just about everything except the fact that my mom hit me. I kept that to just me, myself, and I but sometimes I wondered if Mia really did know. I knew her father, Tony, suspected something was wrong back at home but I didn't think he mentioned it to Mia or Dom, Mia's older brother.
A kid accidentally bumped into my right shoulder and I yelped out in pain. I had a big bruise on that shoulder and he hit the mark. Mia shot me a weird look and then hauled me off towards the bathrooms. I tried pulling away but she had too strong of a grip and besides, she was holding my sore wrist in a way that was irritating the sore muscles from when I fell on it a couple days ago.
We walked into the bathroom and Mia made sure that we were alone before she looked at me, staring me down with worry-filled brown eyes.
"Letty, I'm going to ask you something and I need you to be very honest with me. You're my best friend and I love you and care about you so I'm not going to let you leave this bathroom until I'm convinced that what you say is the truth."
My heart was racing. Tell me she didn't know. She couldn't know. Why did she have to be so nosey?
I glared at her, shaking my head slowly. "Drop it now Mia. Please…"
"Letty, you're wearing compact make-up. Make-up, Letty! You never wear make-up. You hate the stuff."
I chewed on my bottom lip nervously, trying to keep my breathing from picking up. I kept telling myself to stay calm but it was hard. She knew. She had to.
"Letty, why are you wearing cover-up? What are you hiding?"
I sighed and set my books down on the counter when I heard the tardy bell ring. Mia was going to regret skipping the beginning of 4th hour after all this was over.
"We're late for class."
Mia rolled her eyes and shrugged. "This is more important. Now talk, Letty. Please?"
I groaned softly and hopped up on the counter, letting my legs dangle off the edge. I looked away from her and sighed sadly, my mother's voice echoing in my head. There she was again. Yelling and scolding away at me, blaming me for distracting my father from doing the dishes.
"Scars. Bruises… The pain."
She tilted her head in curiosity, not comprehending the simple answers so I explained.
"I hide the scars and bruises, Mia. I hide the pain. I hate it but I can't just walk around with hand prints all over my cheeks, now can I?"
Mia reached out and gripped my hand tightly and I pulled away. I didn't want her sympathy. I needed it, but I didn't want to admit it. God, this was so fucked up! She was going to tell I just knew it. I'd be sitting in the Counselor's office all day.
"Who—"
"My mom." I answered her question before she could finish. I kicked myself mentally for telling her that. I was digging myself deeper and deeper into the hole and I had no way of getting out. Not now. Not anymore. I might as well dig deeper while I was at it.
"My mom always hits me. She hates me for stealing my dad's attention away from her. She hates me for being prettier and smarter so she hits me."
"Oh god, Letty…"
"Mia, please don't tell anyone. Especially the school counselors."
Mia sighed and looked away. She was really having trouble deciding rather or not she could live up to that promise. Finally she looked up at me and smiled weakly.
"Look, it's a Friday. Come spend the night at my house and we'll talk—"
"I can't. I just can't." I hopped off the sink counter and grabbed my things, bolting out of the bathroom. I ignored Mia who was calling after me, trying to get me to come back. I didn't go back to class. I ditched and just hung out at the old playground to cool off a bit.
An hour went by and the dismissal bell rang out. I walked back inside glad to know that the weekend finally arrived. When I got to my locker, Mia wasn't there. She must have already left. I grabbed my weekend homework and books and locked up, walking out of the school. I slung my bag over my good shoulder and walked on home, panting and sweating against the awful heat. I thought back to Mia and felt myself getting mad again. I had a feeling Mr. Toretto and Dom were probably fully aware of my situation by now. God, what would Dom think?
I'm 13 years old and have the biggest crush on Mia's brother, Dom. He's 16 and doesn't even know I exist. Well, he does but he thinks I'm the world's second most annoying girl in the world. Mia's the first, in case you didn't figure that one out. Dom and his best friend Vince are always hanging around Tony working on cars. Dom and Vince's world consist of eating, breathing, and sleeping on cars. Okay, so that doesn't make sense but you get what I'm saying. Their world revolves around them and cars. I know a lot about cars but Dom and Vince never let me put my knowledge to use. Tony lets me work on his Dodge Charger every now and then and Dom and Vince always make sure to distract me with their sexist remarks. I just smile and laugh when I accomplish something they thought I could never do and walk away, gliding away in my sweet success. I couldn't begin to imagine what he would think of me if he knew that I was being beat up back at home. He'd probably laugh at me and call me weak for crying. Dom was tough. He never cried when he shed blood from falling down or got punched by some jock, who Dom decided to challenge him to prove that he was stronger and better. Dom and Vince were like gods. They were strong and independent and feared nothing. I looked up to them in a big way.
I turned the corner and walked up my street, taking my precious time to get home. I didn't even look up like I usually did when I pass by the Toretto's house. I was too afraid that one of them would be sitting on the porch and then I'd have to stop and talk to them. Any other day I'd be more than happy to stop by and chit chat but not today.
I stalked further up the street and then turned, walking up the driveway for a bit before cutting across the yard and up the porch. I pushed opened the door and walked in, closing it silently behind me. I quickly made my way upstairs, trying my best to avoid my mother. I was going to tell my father about my detention instead of mom because she would just beat me for it. I walked into my room and closed the door, dropping my bag on the floor. I flopped down on my bed and closed my eyes, blocking out the soft murmur of my mom talking to my brothers downstairs. She talked so sweetly to them but towards me, she always yelled. She always criticized me.
I rolled over and slipped under my blue comforter, curling up in a small ball. I cursed softly under my breath, hating just about everything right now.
I opened my eyes and glanced over at the clock and then re-closed them. I let sleep take over my body for a few hours before I had to wake up and face my mother's taunts. I had a few hours to rest up and brace myself for another round of hitting and screaming.