A/N: I'm sorry I'm late with this chapter! I seriously just haven't had time to get it done. But I think it's worth the wait – I'm pleased with the way it turned out.
Okay, I have good news and bad news. I'll give you the good news first: I'll be done with this Master's program on 30 May! I leave Spain on 31 May, after which point I'll be home for the summer and updating as quickly as possible until I hit the end of the story! Now for the bad news: I may not be able to update again until after the end of May. I'm going to try to get one more chapter…maybe two… out before my entire life is devoted to final papers, projects and exams, but I'm not making any promises, since that devotion is pretty much upon me now. I'm so sorry! Believe me, I wish it could be different even more than you do.
Just to mix it up this time, I'm going to do review responses…some of your questions were really good, and I want to answer them for you. Only people who asked questions are getting responses, but a HUGE THANK YOU to everyone who reviewed! You're the best! Oh, I'm going to try to do this from now on, so if you have questions, ask away!
Sweetness0984: No, it didn't occur to Sirius that Regulus would be there for an evil reason. He always hoped that his brother would turn his life around, and was never willing to see the "bad guy" in him. So for that reason, he didn't have any problem letting him in and introducing him to Harry.
MPPSexySiriusJamesRemus: This is the reaction chapter – well, the first part at least! Enjoy!
Deni: Thanks – I love you too! ;-) I'm 25…shudder…thanks for the reminder! Kidding – but I just turned 25 at the end of February, so I'm just now getting used to it.
Alyssia: Sirius and Olivia are coming up. Don't worry – I haven't forgotten them!
Panther28: Yes, as far as Sirius is concerned, his brother wasn't important enough for Voldemort to have killed him. But, Sirius doesn't have all the details – the only one who does is Snape, and I don't see them having "sharing time" soon. Read on; hopefully it'll be cleared up a bit in this chapter.
paige-rossi-black: Unfortunately, some of the most horrible people in the world are also the most religious. Fanatical fundamentalists aside, I've definitely known quite a few people of the lowest moral and ethical values who aren't allowed to read / won't let their children read Harry Potter because it is "evil" and against their religious beliefs. For this reason, I can believe that the Black family was religious enough to have their sons go through all their Church sacraments even though they advocated Voldemort's cause. Additionally, I've made their family and Lily and James Catholic because I am, so I'm most familiar with it. One requirement of baptism in the Catholic Church is that at least one godparent be Catholic – since Sirius is Harry's only godparent, he has to be.
obsessedwithharrypotter: Sadly, Snape has indeed come over to join the "good guys." It was tough to do, but it's documented in canon, so I had no choice. ;-) I'm sure he'll be good as a good guy, too!
Thanks again to everyone else who reviewed, and to those of you who just read! I hope you enjoy this chapter!
I don't own Harry Potter.
Actions and Consequences
Is there anyone out there?
'Cause it's getting harder and harder to breathe
-Harder to Breathe, Maroon Five
"Are you sure you like the lamps?"
"They're great," James smiled as he used his wand to unlock Sirius's door. "I like them more than the ones we had in the living room before."
"Really?"
James grinned, and gave his wife a sidelong glance. "Do I detect a hint of buyer's remorse?"
"Maybe a hint of buyer's uncertainty," Lily laughed. "But that's the whole house, right? We have enough furniture that we can move in tomorrow like we planned?"
"I think we do. I just hope that Harry likes everything." James looked around the empty living room. "Padfoot? Are you home?" He looked at Lily with raised eyebrows. "Tell me he didn't take our son and leave the country."
Lily rolled her eyes. "He's probably in the kitchen trying to give Harry butterbeer."
James laughed. "Yeah, probably. I just hope he's sticking to butterbeer, and not giving him firewhiskey."
Lily shuddered. "Thanks, James. You really know how to make me feel like we left the baby in good hands."
"Everyone has to develop their tolerance sometime," James laughed. "Oh, come on, Lil, do you really think Sirius would give Harry alcohol?"
"If I did, would have I wanted him to be Harry's godfather?" she grinned. "You know I trust him with our son."
They walked through the living room, into the kitchen. Sirius and Harry were both there, but neither was drinking butterbeer or any other form of alcohol. Harry was rocking in his swing, and Sirius was sitting at the table. His eyes were bloodshot, and he was holding his head in his hands.
"What happened?" James asked immediately. He sat down next to Sirius, gripping his shoulder. "Sirius? What's wrong?"
Sirius shook his head mutely.
"I can't help you if you don't tell me what's wrong," James said, shaking his friend's shoulder. "What's happened?"
"I think I can answer that."
Both James and Lily jumped, noticing for the first time the woman who was standing at the sink. She smiled sadly.
"Andromeda?" James asked incredulously.
"Yes, it's me," she said, trying to smile again. "How are you, James?"
"Great – I can't believe it – I haven't seen you in ages!"
"I know," she said. "I just wish I could be here for a happier reason."
The look on Andromeda's face was one of deep sorrow. Frightened just looking at her, Lily crossed to stand next to James, taking his free hand in hers.
"What's happened?" she asked nervously.
"I've just come from Narcissa's house," Andromeda said. "You know, my sister has barely spoken to me in years, but now that she has that baby, she's always asking for advice. So, Nymphadora and I went over to visit today to help with the baby. While we were there, Narcissa told me the family news."
"Which is?" James asked nervously.
Andromeda drew a deep breath. "Regulus has died."
"What?" James exclaimed. "How is that possible? He was . . ." He trailed off.
"He was a Death Eater," Sirius said hoarsely. "And it looks like that killed him."
"I don't have all the details," Andromeda said quickly. "But from what Narcissa had heard – or, rather, what she was willing to tell me – Regulus was killed for refusing an order given by You-Know-Who."
"Killed for refusing an order?" Lily asked with a frown. "You mean he was killed by the Death Eaters?"
"That appears to be the situation," Andromeda said delicately. "The funeral is going to be held tomorrow. I'm going, Sirius, so if you want to go with me . . ."
"Of course I'll go," Sirius said hoarsely. He looked at James. "I know I promised you I'd help you move in, but –"
"Don't be silly," James said. "Your brother's funeral is far more important than helping us move."
"I still want to help," Sirius said. "Can you wait until the next day?"
"Sure," James said, glancing at Lily.
"We'll wait as long as you'd like, Sirius," Lily spoke.
"Thanks."
Andromeda smiled sadly. "I'm sorry to have to be the bearer of such horrible news. I wish things could have worked out differently."
"Stupid kid!" Sirius exclaimed, pounding his fist into the table. "I told him so many times that once he was in there was no turning back." He looked up at his cousin. "We both did, Andromeda! We both tried to talk him out of it! But he wouldn't listen. He just got in deeper and deeper, and now look at what it's done to him!"
"I know," Andromeda said softly. She came up behind Sirius's seated frame, and wrapped her arms around his shoulders. "We did all we could, Sirius, but sometimes – sometimes, all you can do isn't quite enough." She swallowed, and pressed a kiss on top of his head. "We can't save everyone, Sirius. Some people just don't want to be saved."
Sirius arrived at the funeral home early the next morning. He wanted to get there before everyone else. He wanted some time with his brother before crowds of people arrived, offering their sympathy. He wanted to be alone before his parents came in, giving him looks of contempt. He couldn't handle that quite yet.
He went to the empty room where Regulus's casket sat. He walked up to it, and looked down at the still form of his younger brother.
"Regulus," he said softly. He swallowed hard. "Well, I never thought that it would come to this. I never thought you would be killed for refusing to do something that Voldemort demanded of you. All our lives, when Mum and Dad told you to jump, you asked how high. You didn't change at Hogwarts. You were in with those Slytherins so fast that it made my head spin. And I really do mean that. You have no idea how much grief Andromeda and I went through over you. All we wanted to do was to keep you away from that. All we wanted to do was to save you."
He looked down at Regulus's face, wishing that he would wake up and yell at him. He just barely stopped himself from shaking him. Regulus was beyond sleep – Sirius would never be able to wake him up again.
"I guess Andromeda was right," he said softly. "You didn't want to be saved then. And when you tried to save yourself, it was too late." He shook his head, and sighed. "I failed you. Some big brother I was."
He looked at his brother's face again, swallowing hard. He just barely managed to contain his tears. He couldn't look at Regulus like this anymore.
He stepped away, choosing a seat in the back of the room. A noise at the door attracted his attention, and he looked up to see Andromeda and her family walking in. He smiled, and rose to his feet.
"Sirius, you scared me. I didn't know you were there," Andromeda said, giving him a sad smile. She pulled him into a tight embrace. "How are you?"
"As well as can be expected," he said. He pulled back from her, and shook Ted's hand in greeting. Then he looked at Nymphadora with a smile.
"Hey, Dora," he said.
"Hi, Sirius," she grinned.
Andromeda rolled her eyes. Sirius had refused to call her daughter by her full name years ago, resorting to calling her by the nickname Dora. Ted loved it; he, too, had picked it up. Andromeda was the last one left calling the little girl by her full name.
Sirius crouched down to talk to his little cousin. "So, what's new with you?"
"Nothing," she said. Then her eyes lit up. "Oh, wait, I just learned to do this!"
A look of intense concentration came over her face. For a moment, Sirius watched in silence. Then her hair changed with a pop. Gone were her long, dark curls. Short blond spikes of hair replaced them. The little girl reached up to touch her hair, giggling at the result of her concentration.
"Very impressive," Sirius grinned. "You're getting really good at controlling your morphing."
"She doesn't have much longer to get it fully under control," Andromeda said. "She needs to be able to control it before she starts at Hogwarts."
"That's years from now," Nymphadora said, rolling her eyes. As she did, her blond hair was gone; the dark curls once again falling down over her shoulders. "Mum! Look what you made me do!"
"Nymphadora, don't yell," Andromeda said harshly. "We're in a funeral home, for pity's sake! Behave like a lady."
Nymphadora gave her a nasty expression, and her eyes changed color.
"Dora," Ted said softly, putting his hand on her shoulder. "Calm down. You know better than to talk to your mother like that. If you don't stop, you're going to be a mess. You've already made your hair and your eyes change."
She took a deep breath, and her eyes changed back to their natural blue. "I'm all right, Daddy. I'm sorry, Mum," she said contritely.
Sirius raised his eyebrows. "You morph when you're angry?"
"That's the hardest part to control," Andromeda said. "Every time she has an emotional swing, she morphs something. That's why it's so important for her to learn to control it now. She needs to have her powers mastered before she becomes a teenager."
Others began to arrive, cutting off their conversation. Sirius retreated to his shadowy corner, hoping to remain invisible. Nymphadora joined him, sitting down next to him.
"You don't have to keep me company, Dora," he said. "You can go talk to your cousins, if you'd rather."
She gave him a look of horror. "I'd rather stay with you."
Sirius smiled. He had to admit that he was grateful for her presence. The little girl made him feel less alone.
"Besides," she added, "I'm sure Mum and Dad will want to sit with you instead of Aunt Narcissa or Aunt Bella."
"I hope so," Sirius muttered to himself. He gave his little cousin a smile. "So are your powers really so hard to control?"
"Sometimes," she admitted. "But I'm learning."
"I know you are," he smiled. "I think you're doing quite well."
"Thanks, Sirius."
"You're welcome."
They lapsed into comfortable silence, watching the people filing into the room. Sirius's eyes narrowed as he saw his parents come in. He prayed that they wouldn't notice him. He really couldn't handle them today.
Fortunately, others in the room almost immediately engaged them in conversation. Sirius breathed a sigh of relief. He was free of them – for the moment, at least. He kept his eyes on them, wanting to have advance warning if they started to come toward him.
"Sirius."
He jumped at the sound of his name, and turned to see who had called him. His eyes narrowed, and he stood to his feet.
"Snape." It was impossible to keep the anger and the loathing out of his voice.
Severus looked the same as he had during their days together at Hogwarts. He still wore all black robes, his nose was still hooked, and his greasy hair still hung in his face. Sirius wondered for the thousandth time how James was able to work with this man every day without hexing him.
"I just wanted to tell you that I'm sorry about Regulus," Severus said stiffly. "He was a good friend to me, and he didn't deserve to die like that."
"What do you care?" Sirius spat, his anger surfacing. "He wasn't your brother. You didn't try to save him. You did everything in your power to make him live this life! As far as I'm concerned, Snivellus, you're part of the reason he's dead."
Snape visibly stiffened. "Fine," he snapped. "Think whatever you want to think, Black. I must have forgotten that you're always right. My mistake."
Without waiting for a reply, he swept away in a flutter of black robes. Sirius sat back down, breathing heavily.
"Are you all right?" Nymphadora asked.
"Yeah," Sirius said, not looking down at her. "Yeah, I'm fine."
"You don't look fine," she said, putting her small hand on his arm. "Who was that man?"
"An old friend from school."
"No, he wasn't."
Sirius did look at her this time. "How do you know that?"
"That's not how friends talk to one another," she said simply. "Why don't you like one another?"
This little girl was too smart for her own good. "We've never liked each other," Sirius admitted. "I don't know when it all started, really. We've just always been enemies."
Nymphadora studied Snape from a distance. "He looks grumpy," she said at last. "I don't like him, either."
Sirius grinned. "Don't tell your mother that, Dora, or we'll both be in trouble. We can't have her thinking that I'm making you dislike people you haven't even met."
By the next day, Sirius appeared to be back to his normal self. He was as jovial as ever as he helped James and Lily move into their new house. Even though they had been friends for years, Lily had never been quite sure how to handle his mood swings. She merely responded to each mood as it came, trying not to let him drag her along for the roller coaster of his emotions.
But even as he joked with her, she could see the haunted look in his eyes. She bit her lip when he didn't know she was looking at him. She wanted to help him, but she didn't know how. In the end, she decided that just being there with him would have to be enough. He knew that she was there, and that she was his friend. She didn't know anything else to do.
"You know, Lily, I think you've loosened up," Sirius grinned as he used his wand to rearrange the furniture in the Potters' new living room. "I can recall a day not so long ago in our shared history when you wouldn't let James and I use magic to arrange furniture."
Lily made a face at him, happy that he was willing to joke with her. Perhaps he wasn't quite as morose as she had feared he would be. "I just want this done quickly, Sirius, and if letting you use magic means that you're going to waste less time whining, then it will certainly get the job done faster."
"Ouch," Sirius grinned. "Are you calling me a whiner?"
Lily regarded him imperiously for a moment. "Maybe," she said at last. Her face broke into a smile, and she started laughing.
"I think there's far too much fun going on in this room," James said as he entered the house levitating boxes in front of him. "Are you two accomplishing anything?"
"Solidifying our friendship?" Sirius offered with a grin.
James shook his head, but smiled. "Lil, what happened to wanting to be moved in before Harry's first birthday?"
"Sirius has yet to master the idea of 'more work, less chatter,'" she said. She glanced at the boxes that were still floating mid-air. "Where do those go?"
"Harry's room."
"I'll take them up," she said, pulling her wand from her pocket to take over the levitation charm. "I want to get the nursery done early so that Harry will have a familiar room to sleep in tonight."
"I'll be up to help in a minute," James said. "I want to give Sirius a hand first."
"Take your time," Lily replied. She exchanged a look with James, knowing that he wanted to talk to his best friend in private. Despite her relief over his cheery, joking mood, she knew that James was worried that his friend was hiding his true emotions. She turned from her husband, and grinned wickedly at Sirius. "Goodness knows he needs the help."
"James, you've married an evil woman," Sirius said loudly enough for Lily to hear as she went up the stairs.
They could hear her laughter drifting back down toward them. James looked at Sirius with a grin.
"She's cheery today," he said.
"Well, you have your new house now," Sirius pointed out. "There haven't been any new attempts on your lives. Harry's still safe. Your lives are falling into place. Everything's working out. I'd say you're both pretty cheery today."
"Yeah, I guess you're right," he grinned. His smile faded as he looked at his friend, trying to see into the haunted depths of his eyes. "Are you all right, Sirius? I mean, I know you've been through a lot with Regulus and all . . ."
"Regulus walked out of my life years ago," Sirius said shortly. "Every time he came back into it, it was for less than honorable reasons. You were right, James. God only knows what he was doing at my flat that day. I'm not saying he was after Harry, but he could have been looking for a place to hide from the Death Eaters." He paused, and looked off into space for a moment. "Although I don't know what he could have done to make them angry enough to kill him. . . Or, better put, what he wouldn't do." He blinked several times.
"You're allowed to be sad, Sirius," James said softly. "You're allowed to grieve."
Sirius didn't reply. He silently went back to moving the furniture.
"Padfoot," James sighed. He ran his hand through his hair. "I've never . . . I don't know what to say, or how to help you. You aren't – you aren't acting like yourself."
"What, you mean because I'm not smashing this furniture?"
James smiled helplessly. "Well, that is pretty much what history teaches us you should be doing right about now."
Sirius shook his head, and smiled sadly. "I just can't even make myself want to . . . James, this is the weirdest feeling I've ever had. I just don't even know how to respond. I know what happened, but it's really hard to convince myself that it's true. I don't know if I'm more upset because my brother is dead, or because my cousin and I failed in our attempts to save him. I don't know why he couldn't believe us when we told him he had chosen the wrong path." He shrugged. "I don't even know what to say to you right now."
"Look, if you need to talk . . ."
Sirius nodded. "I know where to find you. I just can't right now. I can't talk about this until I can get my head fully around it." He looked up briefly. "Go help Lily organize Harry's room."
James hesitated. "Sirius, despite all he did . . . Under it all, Regulus was a good person. He had a good heart. That's why he died. He couldn't handle the choices he had made. He did regret it – all the wrong he had done. He hit the point where he couldn't do it anymore. He couldn't be that person, and he couldn't live that live. I know you were always concerned that he'd follow your parents' example rather than yours, but in the end, I think you did influence him. I think you made a big difference in his life."
Sirius looked up again, his eyes bright. "Thanks, Prongs," he said softly.
James smiled sadly. "You're welcome."
"Headmaster, do you have a moment?"
"Of course," Dumbledore said, putting his paperwork aside to give his full attention to Snape. "How may I help you?"
"I've waited a week as you requested," Snape said without preamble. "I'm still as committed as I was the day – the day I witnessed the murder. I want to join your cause."
Dumbledore smiled. "Welcome, Severus."
"That's all there is to it?"
"Yes," he said, smiling again. "Severus, you have proven to me during the time that you have been teaching in my school that I can trust you. Despite your proximity to the students, you have not done anything to harm them, or to recruit them for Voldemort. Despite your easy access to me, you have not tried to harm me. I know that I can trust you now to comport yourself admirably as a member of my Order."
Snape released the breath he had been holding. "Thank you, sir. How can I help?"
"I'd like you to become a spy," Dumbledore said simply.
"A spy?"
"Yes, a spy. You are already a member of the Death Eaters, and your skill as a legimens will help you to hide your new loyalties from Voldemort." He looked at Snape critically. "Are you willing to do this? Are you willing to spy for the Order?"
Snape thought of his fallen friend, and knew that his decision was made. "Yes," he said without further hesitation. "Yes, I'm willing to be a spy. I want to help you in any way I can."
Harry had passed the milestone of his two-month birthday before Lily truly felt like their new house was home. She spent countless hours arranging and rearranging furniture and decorations while James was at work. He had grown accustomed to coming home to discover that nothing was in the same place as it had been that morning. But Lily loved the "project" that the new house had become.
"You know," she said to James, "if you had told me when Harry was born that we would move before he was two months old, I would have thought you had lost your mind. I loved our old house. It was home to me in a way that no place I've lived before ever was. I couldn't imagine leaving it."
"Well, we didn't exactly have a lot of choice in the matter," James said, clenching his jaw slightly.
"I know that," Lily said. "And for awhile, I was more upset about the house itself than about the attempt on our lives. I felt like they had taken something so special, something so precious . . . I was certain that I'd never feel that way about another house. I was sure that I'd never feel at home anywhere else."
"You're using the past tense," James said. "What do you feel now?"
"Home is wherever you make it," she smiled. "Home isn't a specific house, it's what you turn that house into. For me, home is wherever you and Harry are. I feel just as at home in this house now that I've arranged it the way I want as I did in that last house. And, if we ever move again, I'll feel just as at home in that house."
"Good," James said with a mischievous grin, "because I don't think this house is nearly big enough for the ten children we're going to have."
Lily rolled her eyes. "I think I'm still getting used to the one we do have."
James laughed. "Well, I didn't say we had to have them all within the next year."
"Good," Lily grinned. "I think that might be a physical impossibility."
"You know," James smiled, "when you first said that you wanted to quit working, I thought you were insane. I never thought of you as being able to be happy staying at home with the baby all the time. But now, after watching you these past few weeks, it all makes sense. You truly do love this, don't you?"
Lily smiled. "I do," she said, a bit incredulously. "You're right, too. When I found out I was pregnant, the thought of quitting forever never even occurred to me. I assumed that I'd stay home with Harry for a while, and then go back to work when I was ready. But now, I can't even imagine doing that. The thought of not staying home with him is impossible." She shrugged. "I suppose I have Voldemort to thank for that."
"Lil . . ."
She shook her head. "If it weren't for this threat on Harry's life, I don't know if I would have wanted to quit working. I'm doing it to help our son, James. I made the decision to pull myself out of the spotlight of journalism to keep him safe, and to help him hide." She bit her lower lip. "Now I just have to find a way to tell Dorcas."
"She'll be fine with it. She's in the Order. Fighting Voldemort is her first priority as much as it is ours."
"I hope you're right."
The next day, James was shocking to come home from work to find Lily crying. She was sitting on the couch in the living room, her head buried in her hands, rocking back and forth as sobs shook her body.
"Lily!" he exclaimed. "My God, Lils, what's wrong?"
Lily looked up at him, her face streaked with tears of misery. She took gulping breaths, trying to calm down enough to talk to him. It was useless; she almost immediately lapsed back into tears.
James sat down next to her, pulling her close. She dropped her head onto his chest, letting him hold her and stroke her hair.
"You have to tell me what's wrong, love," he said, just barely controlling the panic that was mounting. He swallowed hard, and forced himself to voice his greatest fear. "Is it Harry? Did something happen to him?"
"No, Harry's fine," Lily managed to say. Realizing that she was scaring James to death, she tried harder to bring herself under control. "It's stupid, really."
"Nothing that has you this upset could be stupid," James said firmly. He put his hands on the sides of her face, and wiped her tears away with his thumbs. "What's wrong, love?"
Lily tried to smile, but her face crumpled again. "I don't want to quit working, James!"
James looked at her in utter confusion. "But you said . . ."
"I know what I said!" Lily exclaimed tearfully. "But I was wrong! I want to go back to work. I love my job. I love working with Minnie. I love all the investigating we do to get facts for stories, and I love writing the stories. I love it all, and I don't want to give it up!"
"Don't, then," James said. "Harry can stay with my mum while we're at work – she's been offering to babysit since before he was born."
Lily shook her head. "I can't go back," she said softly. "I have a job that puts me in contact with Death Eaters all the time. It's been fun, James, but I can't live that life now. I'm not just risking my life anymore. I have to think about Harry."
"So you're quitting?" James asked, now thoroughly confused.
"Yes," Lily sighed. "I have to do it. I just – I just hate the idea."
James smiled, and kissed her. "Lily, you have to make this decision for yourself. I'm going to stand behind you no matter what. We'll find a way to make it work."
She shook her head. "It's too dangerous. I can't do it." She ran her hand through his hair without even thinking about it. "It's different for you, James. You work for Dumbledore, in his school. You're safe, and your job doesn't draw any unwanted attention to us. But it's not the same for me. I put my life on the line with every undercover mission and every published article. We're in enough danger with the work that we do for the Order. I can't make the risk worse."
James tipped her chin up so that he could look into her eyes. "Are you convincing me or yourself?"
Tears pooled in her eyes again. "Myself," she whispered. "Oh, James, I've already made up my mind. I know what I have to do. Just let me cry for awhile."
James smiled, and kissed her again. "Cry for as long as you want, my love."
Lily collapsed against him, sobbing again. James held her close, stroking her hair. He knew how much she loved her job, and how difficult of a decision this was for her. He had been amazed when she had told him so easily that she would leave her career behind to protect Harry. But that had been the day Dumbledore had told them of the prophecy. They had been terrified. Now, two months later, the consequences of her decision were finally catching up to her.
He kissed her again. He knew that she would do it. She would quit for Harry. He would do the same. In the end, no matter how much their careers meant to them, Harry meant more. They would do anything to save their little boy.
The next morning, Lily was pale as she made breakfast, but her jaw was set and her eyes held resolution. James looked at her curiously as he came into the kitchen.
"Good morning," he said, kissing her cheek. "Are you all right? You look at little odd."
"I'm fine," she said, tipping fried eyes from the pan to his plate. "Today is the day."
"The day for what?" James asked blankly.
"I'm going to tell Dorcas I'm quitting."
James raised his eyebrows. "Are you sure?"
"I'm positive," she said firmly. "It's the only option."
James nodded. "Well, good luck."
Lily smiled faintly. "Thanks. I'm going to need it. I'm afraid I'll take one look at Minnie and change my mind."
James shook his head. "No, you won't. Your mind is made up, and I've never seen you back down from something important. And this is important, Lil. As you said yourself, it's not just about you – it's about Harry."
"Thank you," she said softly, crossing to kiss him. "That was the perfect pep talk."
"Well, I do what I can," James smiled. He kissed her again.
Harry screamed, breaking their moment. Lily pulled back from the kiss, and smiled at her husband.
"It looks like someone else wants to join us."
"I'll go get him," James said. "I need to give him a stern lecture about his timing."
Lily laughed as James left the kitchen to get Harry out of bed.
Lily waited until after lunch to go to the Daily Prophet offices. She couldn't handle it before that. She needed the morning to mentally prepare herself to do what she had to do.
After lunch, she bundled Harry up, and took him to the Daily Prophet. She wanted to see the outside of the building, and to walk through it one last time. With this in mind, she and Harry did not Floo to the office. They drove as close as they could, then walked to the building.
"Look at it, Harry," she said softly to the baby as they approached. "This is where Mummy used to work." She smiled, and kissed his cheek. "Maybe you'll work here someday. Would you like that? Do you want to be a journalist?"
Harry gave a shriek, which Lily took as a yes. She smiled, and tickled his tummy to make him smile. Kissing his cheek again, she walked the rest of the way up to the door, and entered the building with her baby in her arms.
Since she had entered on the ground floor, she knew she was bound to run into many of her colleagues. She didn't mind; she wanted the chance to see everyone at work one last time. As she walked through the offices, she was stopped many times by the people she had worked with since graduating from Hogwarts. Everyone was thrilled to see Harry; they appeared to think that she had come in for the express purpose of showing off her baby. She didn't bother to correct most of them. It was easier to just let them coo over Harry.
"He's a doll!" Elaine, her editor from her days reporting sports news, exclaimed. She took the baby in her arms, tickling him to amuse him. "I wish I could have you back in sports, Lily. Ludo Bagman doesn't like any of the new writers I've had interview him."
Lily laughed, remembering her days of writing stories about the Quidditch hero. She was thankful that bigger, more exciting suspected Death Eaters had come her way, distracting her and Minnie from their investigation of Ludo. She wasn't sure she could have handled knowing that he was a Death Eater.
"I'm serious!" Elaine said, taking her laughter for disbelief. "He just loved you."
"You know, I miss interviewing him. Not as much as James misses me interviewing him, I'm sure, but I always had a lot of fun with him."
"I'll talk to Dorcas," Elaine grinned. "Maybe when you're back from maternity leave, we can get you back in there doing his interviews again."
Lily smiled sadly. "I'm not coming back, Elaine."
"What?"
"I'm going to stay home with Harry."
Elaine nodded. "I can't say that I'm surprised," she admitted. "I don't know how these women leave their babies to come back to work here. I mean, just look at him! How could you leave this little face every morning?"
Lily smiled, grateful that Elaine didn't think that there could be any other reason for her wanting to leave. She stayed to talk with her a bit longer, then made her way up to the local news department. She wanted to say farewell to her colleagues there as well.
As she passed from local news to the investigative section, Lily saw Rodolphus Lestrange coming toward her. She gave him a tight smile, and pulled Harry closer. Although she and Minnie had never been able to prove conclusively that he was a Death Eater, she was sure that he was. The idea of him knowing that she had Harry in the building made her extremely uneasy.
As she entered the corridors of the investigative reporting section, she breathed a sigh of relief. She felt safer just for being there.
"Lily!" Minnie exclaimed as she walked through the main office. "What are you doing here? I thought you were still on maternity leave!"
Lily grinned. "I'm so glad that I saw you first. Can we talk?"
"Of course," Minnie said, her expression become serious. She led the way to her office, and closed the door behind them. "What's going on?"
Lily sat down, and took a deep breath. "I'm quitting."
"What?" Minnie gasped, her jaw dropping.
"I'm quitting," Lily replied. "I'm going to stay home and be Harry's mummy."
Minnie blinked, and closed her open mouth. "I respect your decision, Lil, but I have to admit that I'm shocked. I never imagined that you'd want to give this up."
Lily smiled helplessly, feeling the tears press against the backs of her eyes. "I never thought I would, either. But now that I have Harry – I just can't leave him, Min. I can't."
"Oh, God, Lils, don't cry!" Minnie exclaimed. She jumped up to hug her friend. "I didn't mean to make you cry!"
"It's not your fault," Lily said, wiping at her tears. "I've been so emotional over this whole thing, and I think I'm still pretty hormonal from just having a baby."
"Oh, Lily," Minnie sighed. She pulled back, and looked at the baby with a smile. "He is a cute little guy."
"Do you want to hold him?"
Minnie's eyes lit up. "Could I?"
"Sure," Lily laughed. She handed Harry over, then began looking through her purse for tissues.
"Oh, you're so sweet!" Minnie exclaimed as she held the baby close. She looked up at Lily with shining eyes. "I can understand how it would be impossible to leave him," she admitted. "He's just adorable."
Lily smiled. "He's James," she said. "Can't you see it?"
"Yes," Minnie said with a smile. "He'd definitely his father's son."
"More like his clone," Lily laughed. "I just hope he's considerably better behaved when he gets to Hogwarts."
"At least James always kept us entertained," Minnie grinned. "All four of those boys were hysterical! I was actually sadder to leave them by the end than I was to leave some of my friends in my own year."
Lily smiled. "They made me so angry back then. When I think of the little girl I was at Hogwarts, I can't believe that I'm even married to James, let alone the mother of his child."
Minnie looked down at the baby again, then back up at Lily. "Have you told Dorcas yet?"
"No," Lily admitted. "That's why I came in today. I'm going to talk to her now, but I wanted to tell you first."
Minnie smiled sadly. "Thanks for telling me in person."
"Minnie, just because I'm leaving the paper doesn't mean we're not going to be friends," Lily said quickly. "I've loved working with you, and you're a fantastic partner, but you're an even better friend. I don't want to lose you and Adam as friends just because I've given up my job."
"And you won't," Minnie said, reaching across to take her hand. "We're always going to be friends, Lily. Always."
Lily smiled, blinking back more tears.
"Oh, God, I'm not helping!" Minnie exclaimed. "Here, take your baby and go tell Dorcas that you're leaving before I have you sobbing in here!"
Lily laughed through her tears, and took Harry back. Once she felt calm again, she left Minnie and went to Dorcas's office. Gathering her courage and resolve, she knocked on the door.
"Come in."
Lily took a deep breath, and pushed the door open. Dorcas's eyes lit up when she saw her.
"Lily!" she exclaimed. "Did you come in to show Harry around?"
Lily smiled. "Not exactly," she said, passing the baby to her editor. "I have something that I need to tell you."
"Go ahead," Dorcas said as they both sat down. She cuddled the baby close. "He is the picture of his daddy, isn't he?"
Lily smiled. "I'm starting to doubt that he's mine, actually."
Dorcas laughed. "What did you need to tell me, darling?"
Lily drew a deep breath. "Dorcas, I'm not coming back when my maternity leave is over."
Dorcas looked at her for what felt like an eternity. "You're sure?" she asked at last.
"I'm sure," Lily said. "I've thought about it a lot, and I think I'm better off staying home with Harry."
Dorcas nodded slowly. "Of course you want to be with your baby."
"It's more than just that," Lily said, wanting Dorcas to know her actual reasons for not returning to her career. "Harry's in danger."
Dorcas looked at the baby in her arms in confusion. "How is that possible?"
"There was this prophecy," Lily began. "It says that Harry may be the one with the power to vanquish Voldemort. But Voldemort knows about it – at least part of it – so he's trying to have Harry killed. I can't – I can't spend my time investigating Death Eaters and writing stories about them when they're trying to kill my son. I can't draw any more attention to us. I can't be in contact with them like I was before – I could inadvertently lead them right to us."
Dorcas nodded. "You're absolutely right," she said. "You can't put him in more danger."
Lily exhaled. "So you're all right with this?"
"My dear, what other option do you have?" She ran her hand over the top of Harry's head. "If he is the one with the power to destroy Voldemort, then it's more than just your son you need to protect. Keeping him safe may save us all."
Lily smiled broadly. She had made the right choice. She was sure of it.
A scream rang out in the hall, followed by the shout of a curse. Lily and Dorcas were instantly on their feet. Dorcas gave the baby back to his mother.
"Stay here," she said urgently. "I'll see what's going on."
Lily nodded, and clutched the baby to her.
Dorcas opened her door, and gasped. She shut it quickly, and pressed her back against it. She was visibly shaking as she held the door shut.
"What's going on?" Lily asked desperately.
"There are Death Eaters in our offices!"
Lily looked at her as though she had gone insane. "How is that possible?"
"I don't know," Dorcas said urgently. "But we have to get you out of here."
"How?" Lily asked, feeling more desperate by the moment.
"There's a fireplace connected to the Floo network in the conference room," Dorcas said. "You just have to make it that far, and you can get home."
"How will I get there?"
"I'll distract them," Dorcas said, taking her wand out of her pocket. She looked at Lily with determination gleaming in her eye. "Are you ready?"
Lily nodded, and clutched her baby to her.
Dorcas threw the door open, and began hurling hexes and curses at the Death Eaters. She ran as far from her office and the conference room as she could, taking the Death Eaters' attention with her. Realizing her opportunity, Lily raced to the conference room.
"Where is Lily Potter?"
Lily gasped at the sound of her own name. She peeked around the door, and saw Dorcas with her back against a wall, Voldemort closing in on her. Voldemort? Dorcas had never told her that the Dark Lord himself was there. Had she not seen him, or had she been trying to shield Lily from the truth?
"She's not here," Dorcas declared firmly.
"Do not treat me like an idiot, Dorcas," Voldemort shot back. "I know that she's here with her baby. I have it on very good authority that they are in the building – and no one has seen them leave."
Rodolphus. Who else would have told Voldemort that they were there? A surge of anger for this man filled Lily. Her only wish was that she and Minnie had managed to put him in Azkaban ages ago."Well, I don't know what you're talking about," Dorcas said. "I haven't seen Lily Potter or her baby."
"Don't play games with me! I don't have time for your lies!"
"What reason do I have to lie to you?"
Voldemort laughed coldly. "I know you are lying, Dorcas. I can tell." He shook his head. "You and your staff have been too much trouble to me for too long. Either you will tell me where Lily Potter and the baby are, or you will die."
Dorcas's eyes shifted, and she saw Lily. Her eyes widened, and she looked back at Voldemort. "I will die, then."
"Very well." He took out his wand. "Avada Kedavara."
Lily gasped as Dorcas's body fell to the ground. She just managed to hold onto rational thought, and raced to the fireplace. She grabbed a handful of Floo powder from the jar on the mantle, and threw it into the grate. Within moments, she was being transported home.
The sound of a screaming baby greeted James when he arrived home from work. He smiled, and shook his head. Lily must be having a rough time – Harry sounded extremely angry. Deciding to rescue his wife, he followed the sounds of Harry's cries to the living room.
The scene that greeted him made him stop short. Harry was in his swing, screaming as he swung back and forth. Judging by his red face, he had been crying for quite some time. Lily was on the couch, staring blankly ahead. She appeared to be completely deaf to her baby's cries.
"Lily?" James asked. "Lil, are you all right?"
She didn't respond. Terrified, James didn't know whom to help first. He finally picked up the baby from his swing. Holding his son close, he crossed to kneel down in front of Lily.
"Lils?" he asked softly, taking her hand. "What's going on, love? What's happened?"
"James," she finally said weakly. Tears began to run down her cheeks. "He killed her. He killed her for protecting me and Harry."
"Who killed whom, love?"
"Voldemort," Lily said. She blinked, her eyes coming back into focus as she looked at James's face, seeing him for the first time since he had come into the room. "Voldemort came to the Daily Prophet because he had heard that I was there with Harry. Dorcas saved us – she distracted him so that we could get out of there. But Voldemort – he killed her when she refused to tell him where we were."
"You saw it?"
She nodded, her tears beginning to fall faster.
James didn't say a word. He moved Harry to one arm, and reached up with the other to pull his wife close. Lily slid off the couch, landing in his arms on the floor.
James held them both, trying to help them stop crying. He knew that words were useless with Harry, who was likely hungry, and that no words would comfort Lily now. Sometimes, the best way to deal with grief and shock was just to cry.