HAHAHAHAHA!!! I'm back! Hooray for updates!.................................................Oh, crap! Hang on a sec............................................................................Back! I had to go check the teen titans episode guide on World'sFinest.com or whatever the freakin URL is. I forgot to tape an episode yesterday and I wanted to know which one it was. Anyway, time to write the story!
DISCLAIMER: Hey, I'm just wondering: does anyone reading this collect Warhammer? Hordes of Chaos? I do, and I just want to know what the stats for the fiend of Slaanesh are. Well, as for the disclaimer, I STILL don't own Harry Potter. What a surprise.
HARRY POTTER: SIMPLIFIED
BOOK 1
THE SORCERER'S STONE
DUDLEY: I'm bored.
DUDLEY'S GANG OF MINDLESS CRETINS: So are we.
DUDLEY: Let's beat up Harry!
HARRY: Oh crap.
Harry decides to spend most of his time outdoors, pondering over....various things one might ponder over. One of these things is the fact that he must soon go to a school full of mindless cretins. Dudley, on the other hand, gets to go to a special school.
HARRY: It's probably a weight loss clinic.
DUDLEY: Hi, Harry! I'm wearing my new school uniform!
HARRY: You look like a boy scout.
Dudley smacks Harry with a big stick. Later on, Harry and his bruise are told to go get the mail.
MRS. DURSLEY: Go get the mail, Harry and his bruise.
BRUISE: Well, aren't we bossy today.
HARRY: Shut up.
Harry picks up the three letters.
HARRY: Let's see...blah, bills, and....a letter for me!
MRS. DURSLEY: A letter for you?!
DUDLEY: A letter for him???
CHORUS LINE: A letter for him!
MR. DURSLEY: Gimme that!
Mr. Dursley looks shocked as he looks at the letter.
MR. DURSLEY: Petunia! On no! It's here! The acception letter sent by Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry!
HARRY: What was that?
MRS. DURSLEY: Too much info., dear. Nothing, Harry. It's....a letter....from the...orthodontist.
HARRY: No, seriously. What did you say?
MR. DURSLEY: Nothing. Nothing at all. Go away. You can have Dudley's second bedroom.
HARRY: Seriously?
MR. DURSLEY: Yes, but there's a catch. You have to go away. NOW.
The next morning...
DUDLEY: Here's another letter for Harry!
MR. DURSLEY: BURN IT!!!!
HARRY: Noooooooo!!!!!!
MR. DURSLEY: I've got it! Harry, GO TO YOUR ROOM!
The next day, he got three letters. Then he got twelve. Then he got twenty-four. Then he got a live wombat in the mail.
MR. DURSLEY: Enough! We're moving!
After driving for, like, a really long time, they find a place to stay. A cabin on a rock in the middle of the ocean.
HARRY: Well, this is stupid. But on the bright side, tomorrow's my birthday!
That night, Harry slept on the floor. Outside, a storm raged and it rained politicians. Harry stares as Dubya hits the window.
HARRY: Alright, that's just gay.
DUBYA: Gay?!? GAY!!! NO GAY MARRIGES!!!
HARRY: Whatever. Five minutes till I'm eleven. Four. Three. Two. One. Thirty seconds. Fifteen. Ten. Five. Four. Three. Two. One. Thirty nano-sec-oh, who gives a-
BOOM!!!!
The whole shack shook. Someone was outside, knocking on the door.
Well, that's chapter three. Oh, by the way: I'll only hate you forever and put a curse on your soul if you give me a real serious flame. I'll ignore the flame, but I'll make sure you burn in hell forever. But so far, nobody's given me a flame. Ever. And I've never given anyone else a flame. Ever. So, everything's all good.
DISCLAIMER: Hey, I'm just wondering: does anyone reading this collect Warhammer? Hordes of Chaos? I do, and I just want to know what the stats for the fiend of Slaanesh are. Well, as for the disclaimer, I STILL don't own Harry Potter. What a surprise.
HARRY POTTER: SIMPLIFIED
BOOK 1
THE SORCERER'S STONE
DUDLEY: I'm bored.
DUDLEY'S GANG OF MINDLESS CRETINS: So are we.
DUDLEY: Let's beat up Harry!
HARRY: Oh crap.
Harry decides to spend most of his time outdoors, pondering over....various things one might ponder over. One of these things is the fact that he must soon go to a school full of mindless cretins. Dudley, on the other hand, gets to go to a special school.
HARRY: It's probably a weight loss clinic.
DUDLEY: Hi, Harry! I'm wearing my new school uniform!
HARRY: You look like a boy scout.
Dudley smacks Harry with a big stick. Later on, Harry and his bruise are told to go get the mail.
MRS. DURSLEY: Go get the mail, Harry and his bruise.
BRUISE: Well, aren't we bossy today.
HARRY: Shut up.
Harry picks up the three letters.
HARRY: Let's see...blah, bills, and....a letter for me!
MRS. DURSLEY: A letter for you?!
DUDLEY: A letter for him???
CHORUS LINE: A letter for him!
MR. DURSLEY: Gimme that!
Mr. Dursley looks shocked as he looks at the letter.
MR. DURSLEY: Petunia! On no! It's here! The acception letter sent by Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry!
HARRY: What was that?
MRS. DURSLEY: Too much info., dear. Nothing, Harry. It's....a letter....from the...orthodontist.
HARRY: No, seriously. What did you say?
MR. DURSLEY: Nothing. Nothing at all. Go away. You can have Dudley's second bedroom.
HARRY: Seriously?
MR. DURSLEY: Yes, but there's a catch. You have to go away. NOW.
The next morning...
DUDLEY: Here's another letter for Harry!
MR. DURSLEY: BURN IT!!!!
HARRY: Noooooooo!!!!!!
MR. DURSLEY: I've got it! Harry, GO TO YOUR ROOM!
The next day, he got three letters. Then he got twelve. Then he got twenty-four. Then he got a live wombat in the mail.
MR. DURSLEY: Enough! We're moving!
After driving for, like, a really long time, they find a place to stay. A cabin on a rock in the middle of the ocean.
HARRY: Well, this is stupid. But on the bright side, tomorrow's my birthday!
That night, Harry slept on the floor. Outside, a storm raged and it rained politicians. Harry stares as Dubya hits the window.
HARRY: Alright, that's just gay.
DUBYA: Gay?!? GAY!!! NO GAY MARRIGES!!!
HARRY: Whatever. Five minutes till I'm eleven. Four. Three. Two. One. Thirty seconds. Fifteen. Ten. Five. Four. Three. Two. One. Thirty nano-sec-oh, who gives a-
BOOM!!!!
The whole shack shook. Someone was outside, knocking on the door.
Well, that's chapter three. Oh, by the way: I'll only hate you forever and put a curse on your soul if you give me a real serious flame. I'll ignore the flame, but I'll make sure you burn in hell forever. But so far, nobody's given me a flame. Ever. And I've never given anyone else a flame. Ever. So, everything's all good.